


Broken Memories

by FifiTheMantis, Flamefriends



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - Swapfell, Arachnophobia, Body Horror, Death, Dubious Consent, Ecto-Tongue, Fontcest, Gaster Blaster AU, Hurt/Comfort, Injury, Light Bondage, M/M, Masochism, Master/Pet, Medical Torture, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Physical Abuse, Resets, Sadism, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Sibling Incest, Soul Sex, Torture, Tranquilizers, Undertale Genocide Route, Verbal Abuse, Vomit, memory sharing, soul bonding
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-02
Updated: 2016-09-19
Packaged: 2018-07-11 17:22:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 18
Words: 92,160
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7062409
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FifiTheMantis/pseuds/FifiTheMantis, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Flamefriends/pseuds/Flamefriends
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Swapfell Papyrus has a new strategy to gain his brother's affection. It ends up working a little better than either Papyrus or Sans had expected, and some of their most well-kept secrets end up revealing themselves in the most unusual way.</p><p>{On hiatus until further notice. Feel free to consider Chapter 14 a temporary end point, if you don't want to get invested in an unfinished second arc.}</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Sans hated everything.

**Author's Note:**

> This started out as an RP on Shamchat between myself and my good friend fifithemantis. Since it was on Shamchat, we started out writing in script form. Once we shifted to Tumblr messenger, we slowly shifted to para-form. We went back to the beginning and revised some of the worst of the script format, but there is a subtle shift where we stopped the revise.  
> That having been said, this is easily one of my favorite RPs that I'm doing right now, and the second that has been transferred here (The first being "An Unpaid Tab" which is being published by my other friend FuriousRoman.) It's a story that I hold close to my heart. Maybe a little too close. I've cried many a time while writing and reading replies. Seriously, Fifi is an outstanding writer, and an artist to boot! Give them some love, too!  
> This will be formatted like Shamchat is, so you'll see our "names" beside our RP reaction posts. I play the devoted Swapfell!Papyrus, and Fifi plays the ever sadistic SF!Sans. I do hope you enjoy.

**SF! Sans:** *Sans hated everything. The claustrophobic underground world he was born in, the horrible, violent monsters who seemed to be constantly trying to kill or one-up him, and most of all, he hated _him_ , the only thing he had in this life. He hated that Papyrus, his only brother, was so pathetic, the way he was so devout and subservient to him, always eager to try to bring him pleasure no matter the cost. And that cost was usually his taller, younger brother’s pain and humiliation, which he would eagerly give him whenever. Today was different. There was something off in the air, and it started with him stepping in the door, finding Papyrus waiting for him* “well well well, what have we here?” 

**Swapfell!Papyrus:** [Papyrus was standing in the bathroom, tilting his head this way and that. He’d found a new... accessory for himself recently, and he thought it was time he used it. The accessory in question was a collar and a matching leash. Both were made of a dark red-stained leathery material, and the collar was decorated with silver studs. He’d set it around his neck fairly tightly, but he could still breathe easily enough. He nodded to his reflection, stealing a little bit of courage, then made his way downstairs, leash trailing along. He knew his lord would be home soon, so he was glad when he found he had enough time to set himself up for presentation. He took a seat on the floor, a few steps away from the door so his brother could walk in. His posture was that akin to a dog, but then again, he had a collar on. When his lord entered the room, however, any previous plans Papyrus had were forgotten. He looked up at Sans, his gaze somewhere between embarrassed and proud. It was an odd mixture, to say the least. In his current state, he found that he didn’t trust his voice enough, so he simply said the first thing that came to mind.] “M-M’LORD...”

**SF! Sans:** *’ pathetic’ was the first thought that came to his mind. But he couldn’t resist encouraging his brother’s submissive behavior. Sans always called his brother a mongrel, but he never thought he was _that_ desperate for his attention. He really did look like a dog, sitting on the ground looking at the small skeleton, looking disgustingly hopeful that this time Sans wouldn’t just walk past him and ignore him for the day, as the little master usually did. No, Papyrus had won. In exchange for whatever shred of dignity he had left, he had earned Sans’s undivided attention for the moment.* “did you put that on yourself? just for me?”

**Swapfell!Papyrus:** [The younger skeleton bowed his head a little, keeping his gaze locked on the one he was trying to impress.] “I...” [This was usually the part where Sans walked past him and started making dinner or left for his room to do whatever he did there. But his lord was still standing there, giving him the time of day. Maybe the other had had a bad day? Maybe he planned to punish his pet for one reason or another. Maybe that was why he was getting so much attention. Then again, this was the first time he’d used this collar. Maybe he was just surprised. Still, both of those possibilities made the younger skeleton nervous.] “Y-YES, M’LORD.”

**SF! Sans:** *His smile widened and he took a step closer to his stuttering, nervous younger brother. Seeing him flustered like that both enraged and aroused the lord at the same time. He knew Papyrus was much stronger and more stubborn than he let on* “why papyrus, you shouldn’t have... such a good dog.” *He taunted his brother with praise, none of it was genuine. He was pissed at his brother today. If anything, the collar should have been an insult… but it wasn’t. Perhaps it was a necessary evil, considering the way Papyrus had screwed up that day.* “would you like a treat for that, mutt?” *Sans walked slowly towards and past Papyrus, his attention never breaking from him and his… accessory.*

**Swapfell!Papyrus:** [Whether that praise was genuine or not, Papyrus only seemed to catch the words and not any underlying meaning. His brother called him a good boy. That had to count for something. The taller skeleton’s gaze followed Sans as he walked, never once taking the lights of his eye sockets off of the smaller skeleton. He shifted his position so that he was facing Sans once again, then nodded at his brother’s inquiry. Anything from Sans was a treat, really. Even his punishments, sometimes.]

**SF! Sans:** *Sans lazily made his way towards the couch, he could feel Papyrus’s eyes on him. He couldn’t believe he was rewarding this behavior. He knew he shouldn’t. Not after realizing just how obsessed Papyrus was with him. But he did it anyways, he sat on the couch and crossed his legs, keeping his posture domineering and calm in an unsettling way.* “crawl over here, and put the leash in my hand.” *He placed his hand on his lap and held his hand open, palms up.*

**Swapfell!Papyrus:** [Papyrus watched his lord, a subtle chill running down his spine. There was something in Sans’s tone that unsettled him, but also excited him. He eyed the hand the older brother held out, then took the leash in one of his hands.] “YES, M’LORD.” [He then began to crawl towards his brother, being careful so he didn’t stumble on the leash as he approached. Once he reached a spot close enough to the smaller skeleton, he sat back down, as he had done before Sans had arrived, and placed the leash in his brother’s hand.]

**SF! Sans:** *Wrong. As always, the stupid eager to please bitch of a brother tries so hard but always seems to fail. Sans looked at the leash with a disappointed expression .* aw. so close... but. *He tugged on the leash _hard_ * you used your hand. dogs can’t use their hands. *Sans then violently threw the leash, the end of the leather handle smacking his brother in his face.* try again.

**Swapfell!Papyrus:** [Papyrus flinched, first because of the sudden jerk of the leash, but then because of the leash. After recovering, he nodded to his lord, then bent down to retrieve the leash the correct way. After picking it up in his mouth, Papyrus looked up at Sans and offered it to him.] 

**SF! Sans:** *Sans hesitated for a minute, admiring the way his brother looked with the leash in his mouth... so charmingly pathetic.* drop it in my hand, mongrel. *He held his hand out impatiently.* must i tell you everything?

**Swapfell!Papyrus:** [After hearing his brother’s demand, he couldn’t help but give his brother an apologetic look. He hadn’t meant to make the other angry. He put the leash in Sans’s hand again.]

**SF! Sans:** good boy...*He gave a sharp tug on the leash, forcing Papyrus’s head on his lap. He stroked the top of his skull with his free hand.* why are you so pathetically in love with me, brother?

**Swapfell!Papyrus:** [He lurched forward with the tug. Once his skull was rested on his brother’s lap, however, a sense of security washed over him, and his sockets fluttered shut once the older skeleton started petting him.] Y-YOU DO SO MUCH FOR ME, M’LORD...

**SF! Sans:** *Sans tilted up the taller skeleton’s chin to face him, and caressed his subservient gold tooth with his thumb.* go on.... worship me in detail, dog.

**Swapfell!Papyrus:** [He looked up at his older brother, sockets half-lidded.] YOU’RE ONE OF THE STRONGEST MONSTERS IN THE UNDERGROUND, M’LORD. YOU PUT A ROOF OVER MY HEAD, AND GAVE ME A PLACE TO SLEEP, AND FOOD TO EAT... AND YOU PUT UP WITH MY F-FAILURES... AND I LOVE YOU S-SO MUCH, M’LORD...

**SF! Sans:** *He gave Papyrus an approving smile.* my... you are being such a good boy... it almost makes me want to forget about punishing you for what you did today. Do you remember?

**Swapfell!Papyrus:** [If skeletons could pale, Papyrus would have. He had completely forgotten what he’d done wrong. There were a few possibilities... The younger skeleton shifted his gaze away for a moment.] ...I FELL ASLEEP AT MY STATION AGAIN...?

**SF! Sans:** look at me when i am speaking to you, mutt! *He grabbed the gold tooth and pulled _hard_.* but yes... you are correct. papyrus... if you truly love me so much, then why do you break my heart by disobeying me so?

**Swapfell!Papyrus:** [He winced, a small, pained whine escaping him despite his efforts to remain quiet. He made sure to keep his gaze on Sans this time, looking at his lord through tears he was holding back.] I-I’M S-SORRY, M’LORD... I D-DIDN’T... MEAN...

**SF! Sans:** silence! *Even though Sans was a sadist, it still hurt him to see Papyrus cry.* now, i wouldn’t be the magnificent sans if i wasn’t merciful. I can easily completely forgive you for this blunder.... but... only after a proper punishment is administered. the question is, what would be appropriate.... do you have any ideas, brother?

**Swapfell!Papyrus:** [Papyrus tightened his jaw, intending to stay silent. When asked the question, however, he felt a little conflicted. He tried to think of something, but ended up with nothing he thought good. The younger skeleton only shook his head in response.]

**SF! Sans:** myeh, i figured. *Sans pushed Papyrus off his lap stood up off the couch, trying to look tall and imposing, but still basically face to face with Papyrus on his hands and knees.* i think we’ll start with some light exercise. *He climbed up on Papyrus’s back.* now... give me 50 push ups! myeh heh heh he!

**Swapfell!Papyrus:** [Of course, Papyrus would make sure that Sans had a good sitting before starting. He didn’t want the smaller skeleton to fall off. The taller then gave his brother the push ups he’d demanded, trying not to falter.]

**SF! Sans:** *The entire time, Sans demanded Papyrus goes faster.* ... good dog. i am surprised you were able to keep up. but that is just the beginning! *With a bit of _graceful_ effort, he climbed off.* now... hmm... get on your back! let’s see those ribs! *He kicked Papyrus in the side.*

**Swapfell!Papyrus:** [Papyrus winced in pain, but rolled over onto his back on demand. He left his arms out of the way of his rib cage. He looked up at Sans, waiting for his next command.]

**SF! Sans:** *He looked down. He loved seeing his normally towering younger brother below him. ’ as it should be,’ he thought to himself.* lift up your shirt and show me your rib cage...

**Swapfell!Papyrus:** [He didn’t hesitate. Without looking away from Sans this time, he moved his hands to the hem of his turtle neck and lifted it up, exposing the bones to his older brother. Just behind his sternum, a small, upside-down heart shimmered lightly with a faint red-orange coloration. Papyrus’s soul.]

**SF! Sans:** very good... now... *Sans placed his boot on Papyrus’s ribs, carefully.* you don’t need to worry, i won’t break them as long as you are good. *He slowly applied pressure to his ribs.* do you like that, papyrus? do you like my boot?

**Swapfell!Papyrus:** [He nodded, both in response to the question and in understanding. He trusted Sans’s word, and he intended to be as good as possible.]

**SF! Sans:** *He pressed harder.* how about now? you still like it?

**Swapfell!Papyrus:** [His eyes flinched slightly with the added pressure, light pain starting to trickle up his ribs. He nodded nonetheless.]

**SF! Sans:** *Sans chuckled sadistically and continued to add minute amounts of pressure.* yes? you like that?

**Swapfell!Papyrus:** [He started to grit his teeth, trying to keep quiet. More pressure added more pain, but he trusted his brother. Besides, this was his punishment. He deserved whatever Sans thought fit. He nodded again.]

**SF! Sans:** *His grin became more stern, more serious. As he pressed his foot down into his brother’s sensitive ribs, he began to lean down closer to Papyrus.* you like that? you want me to keep going? *He asked, half mocking.*

**Swapfell!Papyrus:** [The pain was becoming very hard to ignore, to the point where Papyrus was holding his breath out of fear of making noise. He had to stay silent. He had to be a good boy for Sans. But the stress on his ribs was almost at the breaking point, and if Sans went much further he’s no doubt break at least one rib. If he said yes, Sans might listen and break his ribs. If he said no, Sans might call him out and break his ribs anyway. Which was the correct answer? Taking a guess, he chose what he thought Sans would like and nodded his head once again. This was his punishment. He’d take it.]

**SF! Sans:** *Sans could almost hear the cracking of bone under his boot under his boot. He was stuck between a rock and a hard place. On one hand, his brother wasn’t whimpering, and wasn’t even saying no. He was even _encouraging_ him! On the other hand he... well... he... he couldn’t think of anything. Any guilt in the back of his evil little brain was too vague for him to comprehend.* very well, papyrus... if you _really_ want me to keep going then.... *Carefully, he pressed down.*


	2. He heard a sickening crack...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the lovely comments last chapter! I love reading them and responding to them. They're very much appreciated! And thank you everyone who left kudos! Myself and Fifi love you for it!  
> Most of this is directly from the Shamchat RP. It's essentially raw, with the exception of some grammatical corrections and some revision on my (Papyrus's) part. I didn't touch Fifi (Sans's) posts, with, again, the exception of some grammar stuff. Speaking of my co-author, they should be getting an AO3 account soon. Then they can OFFICIALLY become my co-author. They'll probably revise some stuff when that happens, so if you ever decide to re-read this and it's written a lot better, that's why XD  
> Anyway, I do hope you enjoy this chapter. A lot of this is character establishment, but hey, every good story needs that!

**Swapfell!Papyrus:** [He heard a sickening crack, and then felt a shock wave of pain. Papyrus couldn’t handle it, and any attempt at remaining silent failed as the taller skeleton screamed. He didn’t dare move, and though it was hard, he tried desperately to keep his gaze on Sans. This was his punishment. He blinked back tears.]

 **SF! Sans:** *Sans immediately lifted up his foot.* you idiot! *He got down on his knees and inspected the cracked bone, prodding it with his gloved phalange.* “why didn’t you tell me it was about to break?! this is what you get from keeping secrets from me. I hope you learned your lesson!”

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** YOU T-TOLD ME TO S-STAY S-SILENT, M-M’LORD. [Papyrus tried to keep his sobs at bay with mixed results. He’d asked for this. It was his fault. Sans didn’t mean to break it; he knew.]

 **SF! Sans:** *Sans gently stroked the broken rib, continuing to milk pain from it but without adding damage.* “oh sweet, stupid brother. you could have shook your head no. and you most certainly are not silent now. or...” *He smiled with sadistic, half lidded eyes.* “when you screamed.” *Even though he hated seeing his brother cry, he couldn’t help but feel a sick pleasure in observing him fight back sobs.* “now, have you learned your lesson?”

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** [Papyrus nodded, appreciating Sans’s touch despite the pain it caused. His brother cared about him. He was sure of it.] Y-YES, M’LORD... I’M S-SORRY...

 **SF! Sans:** “or perhaps,” *He looked up, making eye contact with Papyrus, still playfully fingering the cracked bone.* “... you enjoy my punishments? tell me the truth papyrus, you don’t need to be afraid. do you like it when i hurt you? is that it?”

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** [He almost looked away from Sans again, but he forced himself to look back at his brother. The sobs he’d been holding back were now dulled to the occasional hiccup accompanying his shaky breathing. Hesitantly, and a little embarrassed, Papyrus nodded again.] ...A-ANYTHING FROM YOU, M’LORD.... I LOVE...

 **SF! Sans:** *He stood up before he could finish. He hated that word. How could anyone be such a FREAK? Love someone who almost shatters their bones? Laughable. But Papyrus was his brother, and Sans would be lying if he said he didn’t feel a sort of bond with him. Sans stopped touching the rib and got up.* “can you... stand up?”

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** [Papyrus watched Sans get up, unable to shake the feeling of shame.] I’LL TRY, M’LORD. [And so, he used his arms to support him as he slowly brought himself up, wincing at the pain. He couldn’t go very far beyond sitting, the pain in his ribs too great.] ...I’M SORRY...

 **SF! Sans:** *Sans let out an impatient sigh watching his brother struggle.* “brother, do you know how much it hurts me to see you like this? why would you let me break your rib?” *He picked up the end of the leash.* “try again papy, i would prefer that i not have to use this to get you upstairs... i need to dress your wound... like the merciful and magnificent brother that you are so lucky to have.”

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** [He did try again. Slowly, trying his best to ignore the pain, he made it to his feet.] I DIDN’T KNOW W-WHAT Y-YOU WANTED TO HEAR, M’LORD... A-AND I THOUGHT I C-COULD TAKE IT... [He took a shaky breath.] ...THANK YOU, M’LORD. ...YOU’RE SUCH A GOOD BROTHER.

 **SF! Sans:** “papy dear, you know what i want to hear. how many times have i told you? i want the truth. i always want the truth from you.” *At the sight of his brother on his feet, Sans gave Papyrus a rare, pleased smile.* “i knew you could stand. now,” *Leash still in his hand, he began heading up towards the stairs.* “keep up with me.” *Sans kept a normal pace, which, with his short legs, was a pretty slow speed for Papyrus.*

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** [Papyrus was grateful for Sans’s height for once. It was just slow enough so he didn’t have to push himself too hard as he walked. The stairs would be a challenge, but of course, the railing of the stairs would prove very helpful once he started climbing them.]

 **SF! Sans:** *They reached the bathroom and entered.* “now, if you want me to dress your wounds i am going to need to get the first aid kit... so, get on your hands and knees in front of the sink so i can reach. unless you rather you lie on your back and i use your ribs as a stepstool.”

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** [Papyrus wasn’t sure whether to shake his head or nod in response to the order, so he just did what he was told and made the painful trip to his hands and knees in front of the sink.]

 **SF! Sans:** *Sans clambered on top of the tall skeleton with purposeful roughness and dug through the medicine cabinet standing on the sink. All the while he was secretly proud that his brother never brought up the stepladder leaning next to the sink. He decided he would not jump down, and instead, quickly and carelessly slid down.* “you really have been good today, other than some simple stupid mistakes. now you get to be rewarded by my excellent medical attention, the best in the entire underground.”

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** [Once Sans was back on the ground, Papyrus pushed himself back to a sitting position. He gave his lord a look of gratitude.] THANK YOU, M’LORD.

 **SF! Sans:** *He grabbed some gauze and clumsily wrapped the fractured rib, almost making it worse, and overall the job was horrible. He left Papyrus worse off than before.* “there! artisan work, like my cooking, don’t you agree?”

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** [Despite the pain, Papyrus smiled. He was just happy Sans had helped him at all.] IT’S PERFECT, M’LORD. THANK YOU SO MUCH.

 **SF! Sans:** “so when i do this,” *He tugged on the rib.* “it doesn’t hurt, right?”

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** [Papyrus tried to hide his flinch. His entire rib cage was sore, honestly, so most physical contact hurt. He took a breath, not planning to lie to Sans this time.] I-IT STILL HURTS, M’LORD. B-BUT NOT AS MUCH...

 **SF! Sans:** “i see... well, i appreciate your honesty. we’ll just need to make some adjustments and...” *He added a TON more gauze. Like an obscene amount. Like he has a gauze tumor on his rib.* “voila!” *Sans touched it again.* “i bet you can’t even feel a thing now!”

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** [Papyrus smiled, appreciating his brother’s attempt to make his injury better. The extra gauze didn’t do anything for his rib, but it was the thought that counted.] YOU’RE RIGHT, M’LORD. I CAN’T FEEL ANYTHING.

 **SF! Sans:** “of course you can’t!! did i ask you? no! i already knew that. but i am still disappointed in you. i really wasn’t finished punishing you for your blunder today. my goal here isn’t to hurt you,” *He stood up.* “it’s to teach you a lesson, you know that.”

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** [Papyrus eyed his brother, feeling guilty, but he nodded regardless.] YES, M’LORD. I’M SORRY.

 **SF! Sans:** “you know what brother? i came up with an idea to pass the time while i think of a more suitable discipline for you. why don’t you cook me something? I am always cooking for you, after all. and well... i’m feeling rather tired from all the hard work i’ve been doing for you. don’t you think it’s high time you did me a favor?”

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** YES, M’LORD. [He nodded, secretly almost baffled that Sans would let him cook at all. Papyrus tried to stand up again, wincing slightly at the still-existent pain. The absurd amount of gauze around his ribs was, well, absurd. But he didn’t mind.] I’LL GO DO THAT THEN, M’LORD, IF IT PLEASES YOU.

 **SF! Sans:** “oh and since you are so much better, i would like it if you carried me downstairs. it would most certainly please me.”

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** [Papyrus only nodded before bending down - _ow_ \- and scooping up Sans in his arms - _ow_. He walked out of the bathroom, but froze when he reached the stairs. The last thing he wanted to do was lose his footing and drop Sans on the way down. He took a shaky breath, then leaned against the wall of the stairs with his back and slowly, very slowly, started making his way down the steps.]

 **SF! Sans:** *He took the leash closer to the collar and started whipping Papyrus with the end.* “faster! i’m going to miss napstaton’s show! how are you still so shaky? do i really need to treat your fracture more???!” *There was just constant complaining and whipping to the bottom of the stairs, Sans seeming completely ignorant of the danger he was putting himself in.*

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** [He took it all with small "I’M SORRY"s muttered under his breath at intervals. He was much more concerned with falling than Sans’s whip.]

 **SF! Sans:** *By some sort of miracle, they made it to the bottom of the stairs and to the couch.* “now brother, i’m sure you are surprised i am rewarding you with such a great honor to cook in my kitchen and prepare what i can only _hope_ will be a dish which culinary skills are only second to mine, but rest assured, even though i won’t be in the kitchen, i will be watching. now... i need you to move the couch toward the kitchen so i can see both the television and you at the same time, understand?”

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** [Papyrus sighed. His ribs still ached, despite his brother’s lovely gauze application. Move the couch? Well, he’d just take it as part of his punishment. With a nod to his brother, Papyrus moved towards the couch, then attempted to push it closer to the kitchen, as was the request. This proved to be a lot harder than Papyrus had thought, and the couch didn’t move more than an inch before the pain in his ribs became too unbearable.]

 **SF! Sans:** *Sans showed clear signs of impatience and his ire grew greater by the millisecond.* “brother!!! what is the meaning of this?!” *Sans stood at the opposite site of the couch, leash still in hand.* “fret not brother! i, the crafty and cunning sans, will provide the motivation you need to perform this petty task!” *He tugged hard on the leash from the other side of the couch, pulling the taller skeleton toward him.* “push _harder_ weakling!!!”

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** [Papyrus lurched forward a bit at being tugged, then nodded to Sans. He had to do this. This was his punishment. He’d grit his teeth and bear the pain.] YES, M’LORD. [He went back to trying to move the couch, doing his best to keep the strain on his legs and not his back.]

 **SF! Sans:** “oh come _on_ peon!! this weighs _nothing_ compared to when i was sitting on your back!” *He tugged harder again as the couch scraped only agonizing millimeters closer toward the kitchen.* “only about a foot or so more! now push!!! you’ve almost got it!” *As he got closer, Sans leapt on the couch for reference.* “i can almost see the kitchen! do not disappoint me! just a few more inches and then you get the great reward of preparing me dinner!” *Sans shrugged himself into the couch cushion, getting comfortable and enjoying the show of his brother’s labored efforts.*

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** [By this point, he was long past whining about the pain in his ribs. He’d managed to ignore it enough so that he didn’t have to stop every millimeter to catch some relief. Grit his teeth and bear the pain. That’s what he was doing. Millimeter by millimeter, he struggled to move the couch, panting towards the end.]

 **SF! Sans:** *Finally pleased with the position of the couch, he dismissed the errand with a simple praise of,* “very good, that is enough.” *He then pulled Papyrus over to him with the leash, close enough so he could feel his pained, desperate soul radiating from his rib cage. He brought his face uncomfortably close to Papyrus’s, studying his expression. Trying to expose all his white lies without saying a word.* “what do you plan on cooking for me, pet? you know i don’t like surprises.”

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** [Papyrus kept his gaze on Sans, his sockets screaming out his pain and exhaustion, but also his devotion to the other.] I... I WAS GOING TO TRY MAKING LASAGNA, M’LORD.

 **SF! Sans:** *Sans smiled and patted his brother on the head, rewarding him for having an independent thought.* “i expect nothing less than perfection from you. and i expect the kitchen to be spotless, understand? meet my simple requests and you will be handsomely rewarded. remember,” *The pat turns into a loving stroking motion of Papyrus’s occipital.* “i’ll be watching...” *He released the leash and roughly shoved his younger brother away, then grabbed the remote and turned on the tv, already scowling impatiently.*

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** [There were far too many emotions Papyrus had to be able to describe his current state. Nevertheless, the praise he’d received from Sans was more than enough to invigorate him into moving into the kitchen and preparing to make the lasagna. He’d been practicing this recipe whenever he could, which was usually in the dead of night when Sans was asleep. So many sleepless nights spent perfecting this dish, and he was finally going to make it for Sans.]

 **SF! Sans:** *The NTT workout program was completely ignored by Sans. He preferred the interactive cooking show going on to his right. He loved seeing Papyrus in an apron, cooking food like some sort of determined housewife. He found himself impressed at the well practiced skill and care his younger brother was taking in the kitchen, but Sans still did his best to try and sabotage this show of grace.* “papyrus watch what you are doing! not too much seasoning! don’t overcook the noodles! for the love of---you are going to burn the entire kitchen down!!! don’t make me get up! if i have to go to muffet’s it will be on your tab!” *Constant yelling from the little master filled the house the entire time, along with the smell of meat, noodles, and tomatoes wafting through the air.*

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** [He had to admit, it was much easier cooking in the dead of night when there was no one around to criticize or nit pick. Still, Papyrus tried to concentrate on his actions, calling out whatever response he thought fitting for whatever Sans’s comment was. Finally, the lasagna made it to the oven. The taller skeleton set it to a reasonable temperature and waited.]

 **SF! Sans:** *At this point, Sans had no interest whatsoever as to what was on tv. He had been completely entertained by his brother’s kitchen antics. Seeing the sudden lack in motion after the lasagna was placed in the oven made an irrational, childish rage wash over Sans. Within only 5 minutes, he started complaining.* “what on earth is taking so long?! how long does it take to cook lasagna? how on earth did you even learn? were you cooking for someone else behind my back?! get over here, i demand answers!” *He furiously beckoned his brother over to him with a swift gesture.*

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** [Papyrus flinched at the questions, but was quick to go to Sans’s side when beckoned.] SOMETIMES DURING THE NIGHT, M’LORD, I’LL PRACTICE COOKING. I’M THE ONLY ONE WHO EVER EATS IT, M’LORD.

 **SF! Sans:** *Sans’s eyes flash an eager rage. Finally! Caught him in the act! He knew that Papyrus’s good boy shtick was just an evil ploy to try to deceive him!* “why papyrus, i’m surprised at you... you know how i feel about you keeping secrets from me. and then to make matters worse, you selfishly eat it all yourself like a greedy pig. what do you have to say for yourself before i decide your fate for this?”

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** I WAS TRYING TO MAKE IT P-PERFECT... SO YOU WOULDN’T HAVE TO EAT G-GARBAGE IF I EVER GOT TO MAKE IT FOR YOU... [He knew it was too late. There was no justification. Sans would decide his fate, and he would take whatever punishment the other deemed fit.]

 **SF! Sans:** “spare me your petty lies brother. you know, i was going to reward you with something extra nice. i was really beginning to have faith in you that i could trust you... i really didn’t want it to come to this... but I suppose before dinner i can give you an appetizer. get down on your hands and knees.”

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** [Papyrus did as he was told, feeling horrible for letting his brother down. He felt his soul grow heavy with guilt.]

 **SF! Sans:** “you see these boots? that is your special pre dinner snack. make them shine and i will let you have dinner with me.” *Sans presented his small red boot to his brother’s face. Sans grinned in sadistic anticipation.*

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** [Without hesitation, Papyrus opened his jaw and started licking Sans’s boot with his tongue. He’d make them so shiny Sans would be able to see his reflection in them! Maybe!]

 **SF! Sans:** *Sans tried to hide the pleasure on his face but it shone through in his eyes and glowed on his cheekbones. Everything about this was perfect, from his boots getting cleaned to having his brother below him, submissive, subservient and putting his loud mouth to good use. He could even dare to say his brother looked beautiful in that moment. He would occasionally shift his boot, presenting the heel, the toe, the sole, and all the way up to the top, where the end of his boot met his knee. Sans couldn’t resist squirming a bit in delight when his brothers tongue got close to his kneecap.* “that’s a good boy... you like pleasing me, don’t you?”

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** [His gaze shifted up to his brother for a moment, still licking his boot. He gave Sans a slow blink and a slight nod as a silent "yes" since his mouth was occupied, and speaking would disrupt his shoe shining.]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is actually a pretty calm chapter, if I say so myself. I mean, I know what happens next, so it's obviously going to seem lite to me~ Get ready, readers. Next chapter is going to be... fun :3c


	3. The smell of something burning...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Expect some secrets to be revealed this chapter~ This should be fun~

**SF! Sans:** *As Papyrus began working on the other boot, the smell of something burning filled the air.*

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** [He cringed. The lasagna. He needed to get it out of the oven. Papyrus gave Sans a pleading look, silently asking for permission while trying to speed up the assignment he’d been given without taking away the quality of shine the licking was allowing.]

 **SF! Sans:** *Sans let out an exasperated sigh at the sight of his brother’s silent panic.* i guess i will have to eat burnt lasagna, because my stupid idiot brother doesn’t know how to make simple requests.

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** [He winced at the irritation in Sans’s tone. Maybe the whole thing wasn’t burnt? He risked getting up and heading into the kitchen, then taking the lasagna out of the oven as quickly as possible. It wasn’t too bad. The edges were charred, but the middle, aside from a little overcooked cheese on the top layer, seemed to be edible.]

 **SF! Sans:** *Sans snapped again.* “papyrus! what is wrong with you?! you didn’t ask for permission to stop! how is it that you keep messing up?! can’t you do anything right! get back over here!” *He sniffed the air.* “and uhh... bring me a slice of the lasagna, if you would.”

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** [He knew he hadn’t been granted permission, but it was either that, or charred lasagna. Potentially on-fire lasagna. He’d take his punishment after taking care of the fire hazard. Without a word, Papyrus scooped the least burnt part of the lasagna and put it on a plate. He then brought it to Sans, kneeling down in front of the other.] I’M SORRY, M’LORD. [He fully intended to go back to cleaning Sans’s shoe once the plate was out of his hands. With so much failure, he was content with having that alone be his dinner.]

 **SF! Sans:** *Sans hummed thoughtfully to himself.* “you have put me in quite the predicament. i have so many things i want to do with you, but i think it all depends on your lasagna. be a good brother and feed me the first bite.” *Sans closed his eyes and opened his mouth and let out an anticipating ’ahhhh’*

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** [Papyrus took the fork and cut off a bite size piece for Sans. He blew on it for him, since it was still pretty hot, then guided the food into his brother’s mouth. He held his breath, waiting for the verdict.]

 **SF! Sans:** *Sans eyes shoot open and a red blush flashes across his cheekbones and between his eye sockets... Impossible!! How could he?! With every bite, Sans grew redder and redder. By the time he swallowed he was almost trembling.* “......” *He stared at his brother with stunned disbelief.* “a---another bite...... NOW.”

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** [Papyrus blinked, but wasted no time getting his brother another bite, cooling it down with a few breaths, and feeding it to him. He hoped this reaction was a good thing. It seemed to be, anyway.]

 **SF! Sans:** “how...” *chew chew* “this is impossible.” *chew* “how is this... how is this so… *swallow* “ _delicious!? _brother!! i demand to know! how could you betray me like this?__

__**Swapfell!Papyrus:** [Papyrus gave his brother a confused look. Betrayal? But he’d just said...] M-M’LORD? I... I PRACTICED A LOT SO I COULD PLEASE YOU, M’LORD. WAS THAT WRONG?_ _

__**SF! Sans:** *Sans froze. He could never admit that... It was impossible... There was no way that his stupid younger brother had actually defeated him in cooking!!! No! No... He was only... _just_ as good. Maybe a close second. It just caught him off guard is all. He snatched the plate out of Papyrus’s hands* “i was just surprised is all... but i did help you when you were cooking it, so i guess i shouldn’t be that surprised... you may continue cleaning my boots... and when you are done, you can clean my gloves.” *He finished the plate quickly, begrudgingly savoring every hasty bite, then threw the plate across the room, causing it to shatter against the wall next to the television.*_ _

__**Swapfell!Papyrus:** [Papyrus did return to cleaning Sans’s boots. He smiled subtly at the praise Sans had given him. He was happy. Sans seemed to really like his cooking. Maybe he’d done something right for once...]_ _

__**SF! Sans:** *Papyrus was right, he had been doing the right thing, except for one major problem. He was happy. All Sans ever wanted was to make his brother miserable, to make him suffer the way he did. But instead he took his beatings and punishment with masochistic glee. The worst Sans could do was ignore him, but then Sans wouldn’t really see him suffer. This train of frustrating thought sent the small master into a post dinner fit of rage.* “enough!!!!!” *He screamed, kicking Papyrus in the face so that he fell on his back. Sans stood up.* “what is your deal anyways???”_ _

__**Swapfell!Papyrus:** [Papyrus voiced a small whimper, looking up at Sans from his position on the floor. His gaze held confusion and hurt, and his jaw ached from the impact of Sans’s boot.] M-M’LORD...? [He didn’t understand what was being asked, so he didn’t know how to answer.]_ _

__**SF! Sans:** *Sans walked over and stood directly over Papyrus’s head, straddling his upper rib cage with his freshly spit-shined boots and looked down at him. His face darkened in shadows.* “why are you so pathetic? why do you love when i hurt you so much? it makes me sick! i---i--- i hate you!” *He spat, then sat down hard on Papyrus’s sternum.* “why do you enjoy me inflicting this pain on you, papyrus?”_ _

__**Swapfell!Papyrus:** [Fear crept up on Papyrus, and after being spat on and told that he was hated by the one person he looked up to more than anything, it was all he could do to keep from bursting into tears when Sans sat on his ribs, drawing a scream from him.] I L-LOVE YOU S-SO M-MUCH, M’LORD. I’D D-DO ANYTHING T-TO EARN YOUR T-TOUCH. YOU HURT ME, B-BUT YOU C-CARE ENOUGH TO K-KEEP ME ALIVE. A-AND THE P-PAIN YOU GIVE ME... YOU’RE ST-STILL TOUCHING ME WHEN YOU D-DO IT, MOST OF THE T-TIME... S-SO I’LL TAKE AS M-MUCH PAIN AS YOU CAN G-GIVE ME. I’LL STILL L-LOVE YOU, M’LORD._ _

__**SF! Sans:** *Sans scowled and leaned forward, reaching his arm out to touch the younger skeleton’s collar. There was that word again. That ugly, hideous word he hated so much. Love. What a weak word. Hearing Papyrus say it made him cringe, even if he already knew that Papyrus loved him.* “you want me to touch you? that’s why you take my punishments with a sick grin? because you are a pervert? is that it papy? or...” *He grabbed the leash and gave it a testing tug, bringing the taller skeleton’s head towards his own.* “do you want to touch me?”_ _

__**Swapfell!Papyrus:** [Papyrus’s breathing hitched. He looked to his brother with a mixed expression, a slight blush growing on his face. Stars, he was so weak. He couldn’t keep his craving for touch under control, and over the years, it had morphed into masochism. No wonder his brother hated him.] “...BOTH, M’LORD.”_ _

__**SF! Sans:** *Papyrus’s confession, while honest, disgusted Sans. Even though he already knew this was all true, it still made him sick to his stomach to hear his brother’s desires. Yet he couldn’t help but get pleasure from seeing the discomfort and humiliation on his brother’s face. He craved more shame from Papyrus, so he slapped him across the face, gripping the collar around Papyrus’s neck to hold his head in place.* “happy? i’m touching you. now it’s your turn brother. touch me.”_ _

__**Swapfell!Papyrus:** [Of course Papyrus flinched at the slap, but the shock was nothing compared to what he felt upon being allowed to touch Sans. It wasn’t quite hope, but it felt great nonetheless.] YES, M’LORD. [It was directed at both the question and the command. But, where could he touch his brother? Anywhere? Everywhere? Did Sans mean slap him like he’d just done to him? Papyrus could never do that. He could never bring himself to hurt Sans. Instead, he took his hand and, with some caution, let it cup Sans’s mandible and caress the bone with his phalanges.]_ _

__**SF! Sans:** *Much to his own surprise at first, Sans leaned into the contact with uncharacteristic tenderness. He closed his eyes and seeming to enjoy the soft touch of his younger brother. However, after a moment his eyes flashed open again sockets burning.* “very good brother... you like touching my face so much then surely you wouldn’t mind touching my mouth?” *He opened his sharp toothed mouth invitingly, like a shark.*_ _

__**Swapfell!Papyrus:** [He wasn’t getting rejected. In that moment of acceptance from his brother, Papyrus felt his soul flutter a bit at the almost peaceful expression Sans had while leaning into his touch. Upon given the invitation, Papyrus trailed his phalanges along Sans’s jaw, feeling all the tiny nicks in the bone from past battle wounds long since healed, before grazing Sans’s teeth. Sharp as they were, he couldn’t deny his fascination with them. Even if he was bitten now, Papyrus wouldn’t mind. It was well worth being allowed to touch his brother like this.]_ _

__**SF! Sans:** *Sans couldn’t pull of this ’sweet big brother’ act for another second. Even though it was predictable, he bit down with all his might onto his brother’s phalanges, aiming to jam his teeth into the fragile joints, grinding into the tender cartilage.* “grrr!! you like touching me?” *Sans hissed impressively clearly through a mouthful of his brother’s hand.* “which do you like more, touching me or getting hurt by me?”_ _

__**Swapfell!Papyrus:** [Papyrus had expected as much, and even with the anticipation, the pain was enough to draw out another cry from the younger skeleton. He refused to look away from Sans, blinking back tears. Which did he like more? He liked both of them, honestly. But if he could only have one... He wouldn’t lie.] ...T-TOUCHING YOU, M-M’LORD._ _

__**SF! Sans:** *He kept his teeth locked around his brother. He found it rather amusing to watch Papyrus try to act normal while in great agony, and he could talk mostly coherently even while biting the small bones. Sans decided to ask more revealing and humiliating questions.* “if you were allowed to touch me anywhere you wanted, where would you touch me first?”_ _

__**Swapfell!Papyrus:** [Papyrus took shuddered breaths, trying to keep himself from breaking down. It was working to some extent. The questions were getting harder, though. He decided on the first thing that came to mind.] Y-YOUR RIBS, M’LORD... U-UPPER RIBS... A-AND N-NECK._ _

__**SF! Sans:** *Sans spit out his brother’s hand and grabbed his neck, squeezing tight.* “like this, papy? you want to choke me? snap my neck?” *Sans squeezed tighter, threatening to do just that.*_ _

__**Swapfell!Papyrus:** [The resulting choking noises were small, and Papyrus fought against the impulse to grab Sans’s wrist. He looked up at his brother with a pleading gaze.] NEV-ER HURT... M’LORD... I’LL NEV-ER... HURT... ON-LY... KISS... LO-VE...M’LORD..._ _

__**SF! Sans:** *That word again. How he hated it with just a burning passion. If there was anything Sans loved, it was hating that ugly, stupid, meaningless, pointless, four letter word. Papyrus didn’t love him. Papyrus was just a stupid and weak, confused masochist who was lucky to have him as a brother to keep him safe. He let go of his neck and roughly grabbed the gauzed rib, then gave it a harsh shake.* “and my ribs? what would you do to them, brother? how would you touch my upper ribs?”_ _

__**Swapfell!Papyrus:** [He took a deep, desperate breath once his neck was released, coughing a little despite his lack of need for air. Even so, he was thankful he was still breathing at all.] G-GENTLY... SOFT... LIKE B-BEFORE... [He made a quick glance to Sans’s mandible before looking back at him directly.]_ _

__**SF! Sans:** *Sans catches the desperate sideways glance, as quick and subtle as it is.* “my god papyrus... the way you are talking... it’s so lewd. it almost sounds like you want to do perverted things with me. is that it? are you just a big stupid pervert who lusts after his own big brother?” *While he hated the word love, Sans’s eyes actually sparkled, shone like stars, at the word lust. There was something fun about it, something playful, vague, free, but restrained about it. It was funny how language worked like that.*_ _

__**Swapfell!Papyrus:** I... [His breath hitched, the humiliation of having it said aloud something he wasn’t prepared for. He loved Sans, but somewhere deep in his mind, he couldn’t help but fantasize. The two of them together, sharing a bed and making a mess of each other until they were both satisfied. He was a mess. Scum of the earth. He didn’t deserve Sans. In the bedroom or even as a brother. Sans deserved so much better than Papyrus could provide.] Y-YES... M-M’LORD..._ _

__**SF! Sans:** “my stars papyrus. i’m your brother! you do realize that makes you not only a pervert, but an incestuous one at that!” *He chuckled at the sound of his own scolding voice and the sheer terror in Papyrus’s eyes.* “i suppose i’m grateful that you are finally being honest for once, instead of having me live unknowingly with an incestuous pervert who might take advantage of me at any moment! how am i supposed ever trust you again?” *He put in a pregnant pause.* “i suppose you will simply have to tell me in precise detail, what is the most disgusting, perverted, sick, incestuous thing you have ever fantasized about doing to me.”_ _

__**Swapfell!Papyrus:** [Papyrus sobbed, trembling under his brother despite his best efforts. Sans was probably disgusted with him. And why shouldn’t he be? He was a filthy pervert. Some dirty, incestuous sinner who was so desperate for attention from his older brother, he’d suffer through abuse just to get something out of him. Papyrus took each insult like a stab to his soul. His worst fantasy? He had a few. But...] ...NOT ME T-TO YOU, M’LORD... [His sockets flickered, trying to go dim but he wouldn’t let them.] ...Y-YOU TO M-ME... [His breath hitched again.] Y-YOU’D TAKE ME INTO Y-YOUR ROOM AND T-TIE ME UP... A-AND YOU’D HAVE YOUR W-WAY WITH MY S-SOUL... BUT WE’D K-KISS... AND Y-YOU’D BE GENTLE... YOU’D P-PRAISE ME AFTER I C-CAME UNDONE... A-AND YOU’D TELL ME YOU LOVED ME T-TOO... [His voice finally broke, but he had nothing left to say, so he just quivered in silence, sobbing and waiting for his brother to tear him apart more. He couldn’t hold his tears back any longer, either, and they spilled over freely.]_ _

__**SF! Sans:** *Sans reveled in the pain with every confession Papyrus made. The tears, however, were the cherry on the cake. Even though he did not normally like to see his brother cry, for some reason, these tears were different. Maybe it was because the wheels in the back of Sans’s sinister little mind were already beginning to turn, thinking of new, worse ways to make his baby brother suffer. There was a long, cold silence after the sinful confession was spilled out into the open, and it was a while before another sound, other than Papyrus’s suppressed sobs were heard. Sans reached his arm out and touched his brother’s face, wiping away his tears with a pitying bony thumb. For a minute, Sans just watched as the little droplets rolled helplessly down the cheekbones of the tall skeleton. Sans then silently grabbed the leash and stood up. His gaze remained still and poker faced. Finally, he gave a soft tug on the leash.* “come brother.” *Sans headed towards the stairs.*_ _

__**Swapfell!Papyrus:** [Papyrus leaned into his brother’s touch, cherishing every moment Sans held his thumb to his bones. It helped him calm down a little. Once Sans stood up, the taller brother followed his lead, trailing close behind the other and trying his best to stop crying. The pain in his ribs wasn’t even a factor anymore. He was scared. Scared of what Sans had planned. Maybe he was going to be punished more. He deserved it, really. A filthy sinner like him didn’t deserve anything else.]_ _


	4. Atmosphere was crucial.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Somewhat of a short chapter, I guess? I'm bad at deciding what counts as "short" and not. But it was either this or a really long chapter. And there's also the thing about suspense, and Papyrus's answer, well... I can't give it away just yet :3c You'll have to wait for the next chapter for it~

**SF! Sans:** *Sans purposefully made the ascent to his room as agonizingly slow as possible. Atmosphere was crucial in order to milk the best emotional response out of his subservient prey. Each step dominated the moment, the sound of Sans’s heel hitting the hardwood surface sending a sharp, whip-like click into air.* “you have put me,” _*click*_ “in a difficult situation, brother.” _*click, clack, click.*_ “clearly,” _*click*_ “you are deeply disturbed,” * _click._ The normally short staircase seemed to go on forever.* “and we cannot simply ignore this problem.” _*click*_ “therefore, i,” _*click*_ “plan on beginning treatment for your mental illness immediately.” *The brothers finally reached the top step, and stood before Sans’s door. Sans placed his hand on the doorknob and looked up at Papyrus.* “are you ready to be cured of your twisted nightmares once and for all, my poor, sick papyrus?”

**Swapfell!Papyrus:** [He probably looked as pathetic as he felt. Though he’d mostly stopped crying by the time they reached the second floor, Papyrus was still trembling. He was so scared of whatever ’treatment’ Sans had in mind. Still, Sans thought it necessary, and Papyrus would do anything to earn his way back into his brother’s good graces. Whatever punishment the smaller had in mind, he’d endure it. As long as he could make his brother happy. As long as he could be the brother Sans wanted him to be.] Y-YES, M’LORD.

**SF! Sans:** *Sans turned the knob and slowly opened the door to his bedroom. The room was meticulously neat and orderly, but threatening. On his walls hung various assortments of swords, hammers, metal bats, whips, chains... any sort of object imaginable to inflict pain and destroy were displayed. They covered nearly the entire room, aside from a few anti human propaganda posters, and a large poster of skeletor from He-Man rested next to Sans’s black dragon-head-shaped four post bed. There were also bookshelves stuffed with books about war and torture techniques, a table lined with miniatures of old war heroes, and a computer desk and chair in the corner by a window. Sans pointed to the chair.* “have a seat, and we will get started.”

**Swapfell!Papyrus:** [Papyrus concentrated on his breathing, trying to keep himself calm. He’d only been allowed in Sans’s room once or twice, and those memories weren’t the most pleasant ones. Steeling himself, or rather, forcing himself to act, the younger skeleton nodded to the older, then took his seat in the chair. He kept his gaze on Sans, trying his best to stop trembling. His attempts were met with failure.]

**SF! Sans:** *At first, Sans didn’t even look at Papyrus. He did what he normally did when he first entered his bedroom: admired and inspected his collection of weapons. Then he reached out and gently rubbed the handle of a large black whip on a display rack.* “now... how far back do you remember having these desires? tell me when you first started having these urges?” *Sans asked, almost like a psychologist consulting a patient, then carefully removed the whip from the wall, inspecting it closely.*

**Swapfell!Papyrus:** [In. Out. In. Out. The younger brother continued to focus on his breathing. Papyrus watched Sans, fear continuing to have a firm grasp on him. The whip that was now in his brother’s hands didn’t help. He could only imagine what his brother planned to do with it, and how much it would hurt when he was struck by it.] ABOUT TWO... TWO MONTHS AGO, M’LORD. [He’d be a good little patient for his older brother.]

**SF! Sans:** *Sans turned to face him.* “you seem nervous brother. are you not being completely honest with me?” *He softly slapped the neatly folded end of the whip onto the palm of his hand.* “did something happen 2 months ago that i should know about?”

**Swapfell!Papyrus:** [He started trembling a little more, despite his efforts to remain still. His gaze kept shifting between Sans and the ship in his hands, though he looked at Sans as he spoke.] ...TWO MONTHS AGO... I C-CAME HOME LATE BECAUSE I’D GOTTEN INTO A... A F-FIGHT... I COULDN’T FIND YOU, M’LORD, SO I WENT TO CH-CHECK YOUR ROOM... ...I HEARD YOU, M’LORD... I DIDN’T MEAN TO, A-AND I SHOULDN’T HAVE STAYED, B-BUT I COULDN’T ST-STOP LISTENING TO YOU... A-AND AFTER THAT, I COULDN’T STOP THINKING ABOUT IT... AND I STARTED HAVING D-DREAMS ABOUT YOU DOING THAT TO M-ME... AND IT ONLY G-GOT WORSE THE MORE I T-TRIED TO IGNORE IT... ...I’M SORRY, M’LORD. I’M SO SORRY...

**SF! Sans:** *Sans took a couple of long paces towards Papyrus. He was already pretty close, so even with his short legs, he was able to stand within whipping distance. He continued slapping his hand with the whip, now to a slow, eager rhythm.* “papy, what did you see in my room? what did you hear?” *He slapped his hand harder at the word "hear."* be specific.

**Swapfell!Papyrus:** [Papyrus shook his head, his gaze never leaving Sans.] I DIDN’T S-SEE ANYTHING, M’LORD. I D-DIDN’T OPEN YOUR DOOR... I HEARD... YOU WERE MOANING... AND PANTING... AND MY SOUL STARTED P-PULSING THE MORE I H-HEARD...

**SF! Sans:** *His toothy grin stayed frozen upon hearing Papyrus’s confession. Sans’s eyes and brow bone betrayed his humiliated surprise. His eyes still downcast, focusing on at the whip, which he kept hitting harder, and slowing down the beat. He closed in on his brother more. Sans was now close enough to beat Papyrus with the unusually long, black steel handle of the whip, if he wanted.* “interesting.... what do you think i was doing in there papyrus? why do you think i had my door shut while you were listening through it like the nosy, incestuous pervert you are?” *Sans snarled the insult at the end, and stopped hitting, just clutching onto the whip with both hands now.*

**Swapfell!Papyrus:** [He was so scared. Each pound of the whip hitting his brother’s palm echoed in his skull, and each step closer made Papyrus want to run away. He felt like a cornered animal being stalked by a predator. Well, that’s what he was, wasn’t it? An animal? An animal so sick and twisted he wanted his own brother to dominate him in the bedroom.] YOU WERE... M-MASTURBATING, M’LORD... I KNOW WAS P-PRIVATE. I DIDN’T M-MEAN TO LISTEN IN... I... I’M SICK... A-AND I DON’T D-DESERVE...

**SF! Sans:** *Sans snapped at his confession. He slapped him upside the head with the handle of the whip, hard enough to splinter off a small amount of cheekbone, but light enough to not leave any significant cracks or fractures.* “this is what happens when you keep secrets, papyrus! you should have told me what a pervert you were earlier, so i wouldn’t have to be subjugated to such indirect humiliation! how could you betray my trust like that papyrus? now... be a good brother and spread your legs, look at me, and think back to that day in front of my closed door in detail.” *He took the handle of his whip and pressed it into Papyrus’s pubis as soon as he spread his legs, and pressed his body weight into the fragile, sensitive bone.* “does that feel good now, pervert brother?”

**Swapfell!Papyrus:** [The blow was met with a pained cry, and tears fell involuntarily from the respective socket that he’d sustained it. He whispered small "I’M SORRY, M’LORD"s under his breath at intervals before nodding at the order. He spread his legs obediently, keeping his gaze on Sans while his mind went back to the day he’d wanted to forget. The sounds he’d heard returned to him, and his soul started to glow faintly in his chest in spite of the situation. Stars, he was so sick. When the whip started to press against him, Papyrus cringed, whimpering slightly from the growing pain. It hurt, but... Even so, his soul glowed brighter.] N-NO, M’LORD. BUT ALSO YES... I’M S-SORRY...

**SF! Sans:** *Still leaned into the handle, Sans turned his gaze up the pained Papyrus.* “yes? interesting... you mean you’re telling me that, not only are you an incestuous sicko you also are a masochistic freak?” *Of course, Sans always knew all of this. Except that he was being spied on during a private moment. He knew for longer than 2 months that if he wanted to have his way with Papyrus, all he would have to do was be direct, and just like his boots, his soul would be shined. He would never admit that the idea always seemed quite appealing to him, any new way to dominate his younger brother was appealing.* “admit it brother, admit it that you get turned on when i hurt you. admit that you get excited in twisted ways when you see my whip, my... collection.” *He lowered his eyes and glanced at the shimmering heart shaped soul pressing against his exposed rib cage and smiled.* “admit it freak, you love it.”

**Swapfell!Papyrus:** [He felt his soul pounding in his rib cage, shimmering with an energy that Papyrus had no control over. He was helpless and felt completely exposed. Every little sin he’d been bottling up had been brought to the table. He didn’t have much left to hide anymore.] Y-YES, M’LORD. I DO...

**SF! Sans:** *Without easing the pressure of Papyrus’s bones, Sans slowly raised the whip handle, clacking it painfully up his brother’s pelvis and lower spine. When he got to where the vertebrae met his rib cage, Sans paused.* “you want me to touch that corrupt little soul don’t you?” *His gaze on Papyrus now piercing and stern, the little master’s smile was crooked and twisted.* “beg for it, like the good little broken dog that you are.”

**Swapfell!Papyrus:** [The higher Sans moved the handle of his whip, the more Papyrus’s soul pulsed. He couldn’t help it. The memory of Sans’s moans and the pleasure-pain each movement from one vertebrae to the next the whip handle caused had the younger brother practically panting by the time Sans reached his rib cage. His soul glowed brightly within its confines, crying for attention. Papyrus eyed Sans, his gaze filled with desperation.] PLEASE, M’LORD... [His voice came out in an almost whine.] PLEASE... T-TOUCH ME... TOUCH MY SOUL... M’LORD... PLEASE...

**SF! Sans:** “NO!!” *Sans screamed as he pulled the whip handle away, and gave Papyrus a hard lash across his ribs, the fall of the whip striking a line across his soul.* “stupid idiot! you make me _sick_!” *Sans’s tone suddenly became mocking.* “ _’PLEASE, OH P-P-PLEASE M’LORD, PLEASE TOUCH MY SOUL’_ can you hear how disgusting you sound? do you have any pride whatsoever? the point here is to _cure_ you, stupid brother, not to enable you.” *He lowered the whip and walked to his bed, sitting on the end facing him. Sans looked like he was riding in the open mouth of a giant dragon. He shook his head.* “what are we going to do with you papy? tell me, what should we do about you?”

**Swapfell!Papyrus:** [Papyrus screamed, tears welling up in his sockets as his soul sustained the blow. If he hadn’t discovered a technique for keeping his one HP from being stolen from him, he would have turned to dust right then and there. Instead, pain ripped through his whole body, and the shock of it all knocked the wind out of him. He could only listen to Sans as he gasped for air that he didn’t need. Even when it was his turn to speak, Papyrus couldn’t because of his inability to breathe. He only shook his head in response. He didn’t know.]

**SF! Sans:** *His demon blue pupils rolled in their sockets at his brother’s fearful indecision.* “must i think of _everything_!?” *Sans sighed and brought one of his legs up to his black leather clad sternum and rested his chin on his knee.* “you clearly are in need of some immediate exposure therapy.” *Sans wrapped his arms around his raised knee, he couldn’t help it... Papyrus looked so cute right now. So broken, so scared. He had to reward him.* “touch yourself. like you would if i wasn’t there... except now the outside damage of your soul matches the inside.”

**Swapfell!Papyrus:** [Papyrus continued to gasp for air a little longer before he could finally breathe again. He looked to Sans, fear in his gaze, but nodded nonetheless. Taking a deep breath, he reached for the little soul that, despite the wound, still glowed vibrantly. It was so sensitive at this point that even the tiniest brush of his phalanges sent waves of pleasure to combat the ache that was already present in his bones. He took a shuddered breath before continuing, then carefully cradled the soul in his palms before gently using his thumbs to massage it. He made sure to avoid the lash mark. Of course he’d moan after a while. His soul was so desperate for touch, it was impossible not to. However, he did try his best to keep his noises to incoherent sighs and pleased moans, rather than calling out anyone’s name.]

**SF! Sans:** *As soon as Papyrus got to work on his soul, Sans immediately ignored him. He carefully cleaned the fall of his whip, stood up, and lovingly put his toy back on the rack it was proudly displayed on. With the sounds of his brother’s frantic whimpers and moans playing in the background, Sans phalanged through his collection once more. This time taking interest in a police baton... Much like how an artist selects his paints and brushes, Sans chose his weapons, and Papyrus was his beautiful, hungry little canvas. As soon as he turned to Papyrus he found himself once again displeased.* “the wound papy... don’t ignore it. touch it like you think I would... maybe give it a nice kiss for me.”

**Swapfell!Papyrus:** [The younger skeleton nodded to the older, too far gone to form words at this point. He gently moved his digits to the wound, but paused. How he thought Sans’s would touch him... realistically or as per his fantasy? ...He was here to get rid of those sinful thoughts. Here to "cure" not to "enable." Papyrus took a shuddered breath, then gripped the soul right across the lash with enough force to draw a whimper out of him. And as for that "kiss," he dragged the soul to his mouth then after a short hesitation, he bit down on it like Sans had done to his fingers earlier. He started sobbing again.]

**SF! Sans:** *The display of auto masochism before him sent a chill of ecstasy up the pint sized sadist’s spine. He gripped the baton tightly in his little fist and once again made his way over to his victim, circling around to the back of the chair.* “hmmm, biting your own soul are we? doesn’t that hurt? is the therapy working?” *Sans enjoyed bombarding his baby brother with hard to answer questions, especially when the answer would be between frightened and unsure sobs. And yet it wasn’t enough, it was never enough. Sans gently prodded Papyrus’s occipital with the head of the baton as he waited for his response.*


	5. Is the therapy working?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, Fifi finally has an AO3 account! I'll probably stay the one who uploads chapters though. That being said, I'd like to personally thank Fifi again for being such an amazing person. They are wonderful.

**Swapfell!Papyrus:** [Is the therapy working? If he was being honest, no. As much pain as he was in, it wasn’t taking away from the yearning he had for his brother. If anything, it was stronger now. Papyrus trembled in his chair. Why wasn’t it working? This was supposed to fix him, right? He’d endure this therapy and it would make him better, right? Then why wasn’t it working!? ...All at once, Papyrus froze. His trembling ceased, his breathing slowed, and even his soul calmed down a bit. Then, after a moment of nothing, The taller skeleton started chuckling. The sounds was hollow, and laced with a sort of desperation that mirrored just how far gone he was. He let his soul fall from his mouth.] HEH HEH HEH... YOU’D LIKE THA-HAH HAH HEH... THAT, WOULDN’T YOU, M’LORD? IF THIS TORTURE YOU’RE PUTTING ME-HEE HEE HEH THROUGH ACTUALLY DID ANY GOOD? HEH HEH HEH... ENOUGH!! [Papyrus stood up suddenly. He stumbled a bit on his unstable legs.]

 **SF! Sans:** *Sans immediately took a step back in surprise. What was this strange behavior? He readied his weapon to discipline this blatant lack of obedience. The little master’s ire was ignited quickly.* “papyrus! did i tell you to stand up? sit back down at once! clearly you are in need of much, _much_ more therapy! and stop laughing this instant!!!! this is not a joke! you need some serious help!” *He stomped his foot.* “now put your soul back in your disgusting mouth, sit down, and shut up now, and maybe I will find it in my heart to forgive you for this outburst.”

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** [Papyrus did stop laughing. Rather abruptly, actually. He gave Sans a sideways glance, now completely silent. His sockets were dark, void of their little white orbs, and he stood straight, rather than slouching like he normally did. That air of fear and blind obedience that Papyrus usually had about him was all but non-existent. The taller skeleton just... stared Sans down for a moment, testing the other’s reaction. When he spoke, it was much deeper and calmer than normal. Steady, not hesitant.] I’M DONE PLAYING THIS GAME WITH YOU, BROTHER. [He finally turned to face Sans fully, sockets void of any light and expression blank.] I THINK YOU’RE THE ONE IN NEED OF THERAPY, _SANS_. [He stressed his brother’s name. Oh, how glorious it felt to say his name. Papyrus smirked.]

 **SF! Sans:** *Sans took another step back, his usual dominating aura now beginning to slip, but his anger still growing. He would never show fear, especially not to Papyrus, especially not after what he just said.* “how DARE you! you think this is a game, papyrus?! sit down this instant, i am not joking, i will destroy you for this! you know how to properly address me. i am your lord, your master, your king, your GOD. now you will stop this foolishness immediately!” *His tone of voice was angrier than ever, and his evil little blue eyes shrunk in their sockets.* “this is ridiculous. i don’t have time for this nonsense with you.” *He prepared to attack with his baton, gathering energy to strike with a full bodied force. If talking wasn’t going to knock some sense into his brother, he was just going to have to do it the old fashioned way.*

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** [Papyrus chuckled darkly, finding Sans’s rage adorable. He felt so free, now that he wasn’t focused on being his master’s perfect little pet. Papyrus tilted his head to the side.] 19 YEARS... [He took a step forward.] I’VE BEEN YOUR SERVANT FOR 19 YEARS, SANS. I HUMORED YOU AND YOUR SADISTIC LITTLE GAME. EVEN FOOLED MYSELF INTO THINKING IT WAS OUT OF LOVE. [Another step.] I HONESTLY THOUGHT THAT IF I DID EVERYTHING YOU ASKED ME, TOOK EVERY PUNISHMENT YOU THOUGHT FITTING, THAT SOMEHOW, YOU’D START LOVING ME BACK. [Step. Step. Step. He was within arm’s reach of Sans now. Well, his own arms, anyway.] AND IF NOT FOR THE PROMISE I MADE WITH MYSELF TWO MONTHS AGO, I WOULD HAVE DONE THIS A LOT SOONER. [Another dark chuckle left Papyrus.]

 **SF! Sans:** *Fear continued to inch its way into Sans’s subconscious. He always dreaded this would happen some day, in the back of his mind. He thought he would be ready for when his brother’s rebellion came, but he found it much harder to control than the small skeleton sadist anticipated.* “whatever you are plotting, you can forget it! and for goodness sake, stop using that horrible, horrible word! there is no such thing as love! the only reason i haven’t killed you is because you are my brother, but with the way you are behaving, i don’t think that is going to hold me back any longer. for now, i will break your stupid legs and end this childish behavior right now!!” *He charged at Papyrus and swung the baton at full force, aiming for the taller skeleton’s kneecaps....*

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** [But, unfortunately for the small master, he seemed to have forgotten just how powerful his younger brother really was. Just as Sans swung the baton, Papyrus blinked away. His shortcut had him appear behind the smaller skeleton, and he reached down to grasp the wrist Sans held his weapon of choice in, and pulled up so Sans would have to stand on his toes if he wanted to stay on the floor. Papyrus’s phalanges played with the carpals and metacarpals that made up Sans’s wrist and hand, coaxing them to open up and drop the weapon.] AWW, LOOK AT YOU. YOU’RE SO USED TO ME TAKING IT, YOU FORGOT I COULD FIGHT BACK~ DON’T WORRY, _SANS_. I WON’T BREAK YOU. BUT ONLY IF YOU BEHAVE. [He grinned wildly, then used his free hand to trail a single finger down Sans’s jaw and vertebrae, then along one of his clavicals, where the digit rested for a moment.] NOW, WHAT WAS IT YOU SAID...? SOMETHING ABOUT A "TWISTED NIGHTMARE"... NIGHTMARES CAN BE FUN TOO, _SANS_. WHY DON’T I SHOW YOU?~

 **SF! Sans:** *It was funny the way that worked, how one skeleton’s world of order and domination could completely spiral out of control with just the sound of a baton hitting the floor. Stars, he didn’t even have control over the ground he stood on. His feet now dangled helplessly, and he winced at the sharp pain in his wrist. Then came the sickening sensation on his neck, his spine, his clavicle. His sacred anatomy being violated, causing him to release an involuntary gasp of stunned shock. This couldn’t be happening, he was the lion, the great warlord, the master, the elder brother, so why was he so helpless??? And no... he was... trembling? Oh stars, he prayed Papyrus couldn’t feel it... such cowardly weakness. But he would never give in. He would never surrender!* “go...to...hell, brother!” *He hissed in a pained voice. He began to kick his legs helplessly, they were too short to be able to kick anything but air.* “enough of this! p---put me down, and beg for mercy from your lord this instant!”

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** [Papyrus chuckled again. Oh, if only Sans could actually see how pathetic he was in this moment.] WAS THAT A SUTTER? OH, SANS, DON’T TELL ME YOU’RE _SCARED_ ~ I HAVEN’T EVEN STARTED, YET~ [He moved that free hand back to his brother’s neck, closing it around the bone just like the other had done to him earlier. Unlike earlier, he applied no pressure to the hold. His hand was simply there, feeling the small bones.] BUT WHAT TO START WITH... I COULD CHOKE YOU. SNAP YOUR NECK... BUT THEN I’D BE A LIAR, WOULDN’T I, _SANS_? [His tone was sickly sweet as he stared at his brother. His poor, helpless older brother.] MAYBE I’LL GO THROUGH WITH PLAN A, HM? WITH A LITTLE ROLL-REVERSAL, OF COURSE~ NOW, WHERE DO YOU KEEP THAT ROPE?

 **SF! Sans:** *Dear god, he was serious. It was becoming plainly obvious that Papyrus wasn’t joking around. If he was going to save his reputation, he was going to have to get serious. Sans grabbed the hand around his neck, digging the tips of his pointed phalanges in as hard as he could. Even with gloves on, he drew blood from the tall skeleton’s radius in his forearm. Sans was running out of options, he HAD to use magic, even if it risked damaging his room. Damn, he knew he should have done this in Papyrus’s sty of a bedroom.* “there will be no role reversal tonight. do you know what happens to a pet that disobeys their master?” *His left eye socket turned black and his right eye glowed, changing from blue to red, a black pentagram forming in the center.* “...they get put to sleep!” *Sans summoned several long bone spears, surrounding Papyrus, pointing in his direction. If Papyrus thought for even a second that Sans was going to submit without a fight, he would find himself sorely mistaken.*

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** [Oh, so Sans wanted a little fun before they got to the main attraction, did he? Too bad. Papyrus had a plan. He gave his brother a grin, then blinked out of the room, taking Sans with him. They ended up on the roof of their house, Papyrus’s feet dangerously close to the edge and Sans dangling above nothing for a couple of flights down.] SO EAGER TO SLEEP WITH ME, SANS? AND YOU CALL ME A PERVERT~ [He made a mock-pout as he watched Sans hang, the only thing keeping him from falling was Papyrus’s grip on the smaller’s wrist. The arm that dripped blood was pulled away, and Papyrus switched his gaze to the red leaking out of it. He brought it to his mouth and licked the wound, tasting the blood for himself.] CAREFUL, SANS. I’M GETTING A LITTLE TIRED OF THIS... MAYBE I SHOULD LET GO... THAT’S WHAT YOU WANT, RIGHT, SANS? YOU WANT ME TO LET YOU GO?

 **SF! Sans:** *Shit... shit shit shit, this was NOT supposed to happen. This couldn’t be happening. His soul stopped, his magic vanished. Always being so close to the ground, and a few scares as a child gave Sans a cursed intense fear of heights. Sans glared at Papyrus, and mustered all his strength to continue holding onto his dominating facade, the mask now quite plainly slipping, as seen though in his shrunken pupils. He reached out for his brother’s forearm, but he couldn’t quite wrap his small hand around the bone. And to make matters worse, he had no ability to jump, meaning, if Papyrus let go, Sans would drop. But no... he had to be brave, even in the face of certain doom. He couldn’t crumble. Not like this... He was the Magnificent and Malicious Sans!!...* “you--- you wouldn’t dare....” *Would he? He could feel droplets of sweat forming and running down his skull... He had to be brave!* “this is... this is your final warning! stop this nonsense... at... at once!!!!” *No... stop it, he wasn’t going to cry. Not in front of him. Stop it! Stupid eye sockets!*

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** [The taller skeleton let out a yawn, then ever so slightly, he let his grip on Sans’s wrist slip. Just a little bit. Definitely enough for Sans to get the message.] WOULDN’T I, SANS? IF YOU DIE HERE, THEN I DON’T HAVE TO SUFFER ANYMORE. NO MORE PUNISHMENTS... [He trailed off, his gaze shifting to focus on the tears that had started falling down the other’s face. Papyrus grinned, then tilted his head to the side.] AWW, LOOK AT THAT. YOU CAN CRY, AFTER ALL. YOU KNOW, BROTHER, YOU HAVE THE POWER TO STOP THIS. JUST SAY THAT FOUR LETTER WORD YOU HATE SO MUCH~ [His grin faded and he righted his skull.] "I love you, Papyrus." THAT’S ALL YOU HAVE TO SAY.

 **SF! Sans:** *Sans let out a yelp of surprise upon feeling himself slip. He felt his whole body grow hotter with humiliation and fear, but the sweat and other shameful fluids that drenched his bones seemed so cold and clammy. By this point, Sans could no longer pretend he wasn’t worried. Even so... his stupid... STUPID pride wouldn’t let him cave in to the taller skeleton’s demands! * “papyrus i....i,” *How did this happen... was this really what his life had come to? A great warlord brought to his knees by his incestuous, heartbroken baby brother?* “i.... ... ...” *Was this really going to be how he was going to die? By the hands of his own brother?* “i hate you!!!! hate you, hate you HATE YOU!!!!!!!!!” *His face was back to its usual nasty expression, but tears flowed freely down his cheekbones and his face was flushed blood red, akin to that of a child throwing a temper tantrum.* “go ahead! kill me! after all i’ve done for you! i’m done trying to care for you! i’d rather DIE than admit some nonexistent emotion to a disgusting pervert like you!!!! do it!!! kill me!!!! i don’t care. i...i...” *He couldn’t speak anymore, fear has completely consumed the overthrown little master and replaced his once powerful lion’s roar with fearful, childlike sobs.*

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** [Papyrus’s expression was blank for a moment. A moment that seemed to drag on and on. Then, he chuckled, and moved his hand to reach forward and caress Sans’s face. He used a thumb to wipe the tears away.] YOU’RE A TERRIBLE LIAR, BROTHER. YOU DON’T REALLY WANT TO DIE. AND YOU DON’T REALLY HATE ME, EITHER. [He pulled Sans away from the edge, taking a few steps back himself, then put his face close to Sans’s.] IF YOU CAN’T TELL ME NOW, THAT’S OK. I’LL JUST HAVE TO COAX IT OUT OF YOU~ [And then, without any warning, Papyrus leaned in and pressed his teeth against Sans’s, keeping his dark gaze on him the entire time.]

 **SF! Sans:** *Sans let in a stuttering gasp when he felt his brother assault his poor defenseless mouth. He felt as though Papyrus had dropped him off the roof. Such violation! Such deviousness! Such a horrible magic! Where did papyrus learn how to stop time with just a simple click?! He just wanted this kiss to end and his soul to continue beating! He felt horrible, like he was melting from the inside. He wanted to cry and scream and hurt and maim and kill, and something was fluttering inside him, tickling his non existent organs. It was terrifying.... Finally, after an eternity, the kiss broke, and Sans was granted the opportunity to speak.* “of course I don’t want to die you idiot! i would just rather die than admit that I lo... have such foolish feelings about you! now put me down and let’s go inside. we need to have a long, hard talk about this!!--- this!!--- lewd!!!--- out of control!!! crime you committed! *Sans was trembling and desperately wiping his teeth with his gloved hand.*

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** [Papyrus grinned again, chuckling deviously. Sans’s reaction was priceless. The poor thing was so flustered, and he probably didn’t even realize how obvious it was.] OH, SO CLOSE. YOU WERE SO CLOSE, BROTHER~ TOO BAD, TOO. I WOULD HAVE LET YOU GO. [He trailed his hand down again, going from his brother’s skull to his clavicle again.] AND I’M SORRY, BUT I CAN’T TAKE YOU SERIOUSLY WHEN YOU’RE SO FLUSTERED. IT’S ADORABLE. [He left another quick kiss on Sans’s frontal, then another by his temple, and he stopped by his ear. He spoke in a low, smooth tone.] BUT I SUPPOSE WE CAN GO INSIDE. I’M SURPRISED HOW EAGER YOU ARE TO START, SANS~ AND AFTER ONLY ONE KISS, TOO. ARE YOU SURE I’M THE ONLY PERVERT IN THIS HOUSE?~ [He kissed Sans once more before blinking back into Sans’s room.]

 **SF! Sans:** *Poor sans was a mess. One serious violation of his body after the next. It was not different than a cat being dunked in water repeatedly. Before his brother had gone mad he would have never DARED make contact with Sans without permission. What happened to the good little brother he had for almost 2 decades? Sans partially blamed himself. It was a bad idea to touch himself in his quiet bedroom. If he just had done it in the shower like he normally did, perhaps Papyrus wouldn’t be like this. As soon as Sans found himself in the comfort of his own bedroom, he started feeling like his own self. He immediately started ranting, his voice still shaken up and face still flushed from the ordeal on the roof.* “yes!! you are the only pervert in this house, but not for long, the only thing I am eager to start is getting you in your room, alone, away from me! you need to pack your bags and leave at once, perhaps muffet will let you sleep at her bar. and another thing, i am neither flustered nor adorable! you do know i am the head of the royal guard, papyrus! now... let go of me at once. stop while you are ahead! stars, after all i’ve done for you... this is how you repay me....”

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** [Papyrus paid Sans’s ranting no mind. Once they were in the room, he let the small skeleton down then looked around the room, trying to remember where that rope was stored, only to sigh at his failing memory. He walked over to the wall, still ignoring Sans, and took the whip from its mount on the wall.] I GUESS THIS’LL HAVE TO DO... UNLESS YOU WANT TO TELL ME WHERE THE ROPE IS, BROTHER. [He glanced at Sans, looking him over. There was a glimmer in his sockets, something hungry and the slightest bit feral. He was interested to see how his brother would react to him touching his precious toys...]

 **SF! Sans:** *What in the Underground?* “papyrus! stop this at once! how DARE you touch my baby!!!!! put her back and leave my room this second!!! im warning you....” *His first instinct was to charge at Papyrus, and turn him into dust. NO ONE, and he meant, NO ONE touched his toys without his permission and lived! And Sans would be damned if his mentally ill brother would be any exception to this rule. Sans searched the room desperately and found the police baton and grabbed it.* “put my whip back or i swear to god I will bash you into dust!”

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** [Papyrus let his fingers move across the handle of the whip, just as Sans’s had done earlier. He wasn’t bothered by the smaller skeleton’s ranting or the weapon he brandished.] DO IT THEN. YOU CAN TRY, ANYWAY. I’LL ONLY END UP SOMEWHERE ELSE. [He glanced up at Sans, then flicked his wrist to test the whip once. It cracked against air, but Papyrus was mildly amused nonetheless.] IF YOU DON’T WANT ME TO TIE YOU UP WITH YOUR "BABY" THEN TELL ME WHERE THE ROPE IS, _SANS_.

 **SF! Sans:** *Sans knew Papyrus was right... He also knew Papyrus was going to call his bluff. His ability to teleport, his leverage advantage, and his has-nothing-to-lose attitude was quickly pushing Sans into a corner. At this point, he was only running his mouth to stall for time. To say the little master was terrified would be an understatement. But still, he would be damned if he was just going to sit there and let Papyrus tie him up. He was a great warlord and if he was going to be brought to his knees it would not be without him kicking and screaming! Though, it seemed like mostly screaming. Hearing the crack of his whip in another skeleton’s hands was enough to send him running for the door. He had to get out.*

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** [The attempt to flee was met with a blockade. Papyrus blinked to the door, shutting it and turning the lock just as Sans reached it. The taller skeleton continued to grin, tilting his head to the side.] WHERE ARE YOU GOING, _SANS_? THE FUN IS ABOUT TO START~ [He reached forward, taking both of Sans’s wrists in his hands. His sockets, though dark, held a hunger in them. Then, in a swift motion, he pinned Sans to the closed door, one arm bent behind his back. Papyrus leaned close to Sans’s ear, then whispered to him in a low, hungry growl of a voice.] I’M TIRED OF THIS GAME, SANS. IT’S MY TURN TO HAVE FUN WITH YOU.

 **SF! Sans:** “i’m growing tired of this game too! stop this at once! i’m sick of your rapist abusive bullshit!” *It was all Sans could say. He felt like a lion who was chasing a gazelle, only to turn his back for a second to find a bloodthirsty rhinoceros cornering him, his pride nowhere to be found. His head spun wildly, spitting out plan after plan only to have them foiled over and over again by the crazed Papyrus in his head. He wanted so badly to cry. But he already tried tears, and they worked just like gasoline worked at extinguishing a fire. The sadist knew he was screwed. But no matter what, he wouldn’t beg. He wouldn’t cave in. And he certainly was not going to tell his soul thirsty brother where his rope was.* “very well... if you are going to violate me, then at least give me the dignity of addressing me properly. you calling me sans just adds insult to injury.”

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** [Papyrus couldn’t help but chuckle at the first comment. Sans was one to talk. Being sick of abuse. Sans had nothing on Papyrus in that regard. This was only the tip of the iceberg, and Papyrus had been anchored to the base for years. At the very least, Papyrus didn’t plan to break any bones.] ...AS YOU WISH, _M’LORD_. [It didn’t sound like any "M’LORD" he’d ever said before. The way he stressed the title was mocking, and spoken in the deep, hungry tone that was becoming a constant for Papyrus at this point. Papyrus let his tongue run along the vertebrae that made up Sans’s neck. Slowly. Gently. Teasingly.]

 **SF! Sans:** *Oh stars... What a nightmare... One he hoped he could wake up soon from, and find the real Papyrus waiting for his command. But the wet, warm tongue on his spine was very real. Sans struggled with all of his might against restraint, but only found himself getting exhausted, and further humoring the new sadist. All he had now we’re his words. Papyrus had taken everything else.* “it’s,” _*huff*_ “been longer than two months, hasn’t it, liar?” _*pant, pant*_ “and you,” _*gasp*_ “your fantasy... that was a lie too. i knew... i knew i,” _*puff*_ “had good reason to be suspicious of you, didn’t i?.... pig.” _*pant*_ “you make me sick.”

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** OH, DID I SAY "MONTHS?" APOLOGIES, _MY LORD_. I MEANT YEARS~ [Papyrus snickered, very much enjoying feeling Sans squirm under him for once. It was liberating, finally having control over his brother.] BUT THAT FANTASY I TOLD YOU WASN’T A LIE. WELL, NOT MOSTLY. [He paused to bite down on Sans’s vertebrae. Not hard enough to cause any real pain, but not necessarily soft either.] LET’S JUST SAY, IF I WANTED TO, I WOULDN’T BE THE ONE TIED UP~

 **SF! Sans:** *Sans let out a sob of pain at the nibble. Sure, he was used to pain, but only in war. Only during combat. He had no experience in being a captive. And he certainly never had any experience being under someone else’s control.* “papyrus... brother.... it’s not too late. i... i know you’re scared, but...” *Sans’s eye glowed, he had to keep trying.* “but i can still forgive you eventually if you stop now.” *Sans strained to look over his shoulder at the bone attack he was preparing. If the bones could be quiet... he might... he might...* “i can still forgive you, papy.” *His soul was nervously quivering under his sternum as he aimed his magic, right at Papyrus’s weak spot. He only had one shot...* “c’mon paps... we’re brothers....” *And he shot the attack, shut his eyes tight, and prayed.*


	6. The tone in Sans's voice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to be slowing down updates a little, since it does take quite a while for myself and Fifi to write replies sometimes. I'd rather not catch up to where we are too fast. Besides, a little wait between chapters will help with the suspense and stuff! I think! I don't know, you people tell me. I'm thinking after this, Mondays and Thursdays sound like good uploading days.  
> -Flame

**Swapfell!Papyrus:** [Papyrus didn’t need to hear the magic, the tone in Sans’s voice was all he needed to know that the small skeleton was planning something. Sans didn’t beg. His brother was desperate, but he wasn’t _that_ desperate. He easily saw through the ploy, and in a split-second decision, he blinked both of them out of the way just as a bone attack erupted from the floor. He looked back to the attack, holding Sans’s back against him almost protectively. The angle that the bones were protruding from the floor not only would have pierced his spine and soul, but Sans’s skull as well. Papyrus snarled, then turned his brother to face him.] YOU IDIOT! THAT WOULD HAVE KILLED YOU! [The white orbs in his sockets were back, and tears were forming in his sockets once more.] DON’T YOU CARE ABOUT YOURSELF AT ALL!? I’M SUPPOSED TO BE THE MASOCHIST, AND EVEN THEN, I WOULDN’T JUST OFF MYSELF BECAUSE YOU WERE TORTURING ME! [His grip was tight on his brother’s shoulders.]

 **SF! Sans:** *Sans avoided eye contact, ashamed, like a scolded child. Papyrus did not, could not, and would never be allowed to understand him. There were a lot of secrets the little master kept locked away in dusty boxes with the keys swallowed. Like that 2 months ago, and the week before that, and every week before that, Sans would be honest with himself in his head and in his heart. No one else had to know he pleased himself, secretly fantasizing about what it would be like if Papyrus did what he doing what he was doing now. But his reputation and his pride kept him in the shadows. When Papyrus actually snapped, he wanted to submit, but he couldn’t. He had to be taken by force. But in truth he wanted to be like Papyrus. But now he screwed it up. Sans looked at the attack, then back at the fear in his brother’s eyes, then Sans looked down at his own hands. In that moment, he wanted to crack so badly. To kill that stupid little master that lived in his head, and become the precious pet for once. But that would never happen. Sans was his own submissive.* “It wouldn’t have killed me.... you’re exaggerating. i would have been just fine...” *Sans spoke in a hollow, unsure of himself voice.*

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** [Papyrus watched Sans, studying his expressions. He recognized some emotions, and others were completely new on his features. The manic hunger in his eyes was gone, replaced with concern, fear, and anger. It took a lot of effort to keep from yelling at his brother.] DON’T LIE TO YOURSELF. IT WOULD HAVE GONE RIGHT THROUGH YOUR SKULL. YOU’RE LUCKY I PICKED UP ON WHAT YOU WERE DOING. [The taller skeleton sighed, his gaze never leaving Sans.] YOU WERE PRETTY OBVIOUS. YOU’VE NEVER BEGGED BEFORE.

 **SF! Sans:** *What Sans wanted to say was he used that attack because he never felt so alive. He was so caught up in the moment. That the place he found himself in while struggling reminded him of the thrill of combat. Except instead of winning, he wanted to be taken out, degraded, used. Kicking and screaming all along the way. Sans wanted to taunt his captor in hopes for a more severe punishment, Papyrus slowly tormenting him more and pleasing himself in the process... And his brother had been doing such an amazing job too... He even got him to beg. And now his subconscious desire to be dominated was bubbling to the front of his mind like a broken dam, all because he was being denied more excitement, and instead was being scolded like some stupid kid. When all Sans wanted in that moment was for Papyrus to win, hold him down, and take his soul* “i wasn’t begging! i never beg... i just wanted you to let me go! you had me cornered, i was desperate! you would be too if you in my position!” *It seemed the manic hunger in Papyrus’s eyes didn’t disappear, just transferred itself into a new host.*

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** [Papyrus sighed again, his anger dying down and fear disappearing completely. Papyrus moved one of his hands to his brother’s occipital, then pulled him close so he could meet Sans’s teeth halfway with his own. When he broke the kiss, he continued to search Sans’s eyes, and found a strange glimmer in them that resembled the one he had during the more painful torture sessions. Somehow, though, it seemed to be a different flavor of glimmer. Was that...? Papyrus grinned mischievously, realization hitting him once he’d deciphered the look.] OH? SO YOU WEREN’T BEGGING THEN? YOU DON’T SEEM TO HAVE A PROBLEM WITH ME HOLDING YOU NOW~

 **SF! Sans:** *Papyrus was right. Since the attack, Sans had showed no desire to leave his younger brother’s arms. In fact, he was quite enjoying the safety and security of the embrace. But he had to fight it. His pride demanded it. As if on command, Sans struggled against the taller skeleton.* “i was focused on you freaking out, you psycho! you can let me go now! i’d really rather you never touch me ever again. so... let me go! incestuous creep!!!” *His expression, however, was starting to crumble. He was having trouble really putting his all into getting away. And if Papyrus let go, what then? Just back to torture and pointless teasing, Sans guessed. Back to Sans being in control, waiting, hoping for Papyrus to snap again. If he would snap again. And even if he did, would he be able to dominate Sans? He was not a willing submissive. To truly top him the way he wanted to be topped meant taking him against his will, which was not something most monsters were willing to do, especially to their own brother. Sans continued to struggle in Papyrus’s arms with all of his might.* “and i _never_ beg! that was just your twisted imagination!”

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** [But Papyrus’s grip only grew stronger. His sockets dimmed again, the white orbs vanishing, and his grin broadened as he watched Sans start to struggle again. In a swift motion, Papyrus tossed Sans onto his bed, only to pin him there.] SO SORRY, MY LORD, BUT I’M NOT TAKING ORDERS FROM YOU RIGHT NOW~ YOU’RE MINE TONIGHT, MY LORD, AND SINCE YOU’RE SO STUBBORN ABOUT THE ROPE, I’LL JUST HAVE TO IMPROVISE~ [He took Sans’s wrists and pulled them above his head, using his legs to pin the other’s down. Papyrus stared down at Sans, head slightly tilted and hunger flooding his gaze. He leaned down, just in front of Sans’s face, and let out a low, hungry growl.]

 **SF! Sans:** *For a second, Sans’s soul completely slipped its mask, and pulsated brightly, like a firefly. But the little warrior quickly got back into character, and was grateful for the battle body he wore, protecting his precious blue and red soul.* “you think i’m scared of your big stupid animal sounds?” *Sans snarled in retaliation to his brother’s growl, then lunged his head forward and snapped at him with his razor sharp teeth, scraping and leaving a new vertical scar on the the frontal process of his maxilla. A beautiful addition, if Sans said so himself.* “pathetic” *Sans taunted.* “even if you had rope, you would have no idea what to do with it. you’d probably tie some sloppy knot and I would get away as soon as your back was turned! mweh heh heh!! i’m surprised you can even tie your own shoelaces!” *Sans squirmed proudly at his own insults. But deep down his inner slave kept trying to corrupt him with ideas that were completely out of character.* “so genius, how do you plan on improvising? keep holding me down and letting me bite your face off?”

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** [Papyrus hissed in response to the cut, then narrowed his sockets. He wasn’t too concerned with the new injury, though. His focus was on proving his dominance to this little captive. He readjusted his hold on Sans’s wrists, exchanging them both into his left hand, then with his now-free right hand, the taller skeleton grabbed Sans’s mandible and turned his head to the side for him. Papyrus then bent down closer, his teeth a breath away from the other’s cervical vertebrae.] I’LL HAVE TO PUNISH YOU FOR THAT, MY LORD. [The taller skeleton bit down on the smaller’s neck, harder than the last time.]

 **SF! Sans:** *Sans involuntarily rolled his eyes into the back of his skull at the feeling of the pointy teeth sinking into his neck. It proved to be impossible to keep his mouth and soul quiet at the same time, so he opted to hold his breath, not giving Papyrus the satisfaction of hearing those sounds he had been so hungry to hear again from 2 months ago. But his chest... the little shining bulb flashed like lightning, pulsating and twitching in its shameful masochistic ecstasy. He wasn’t sure if Pap could sense it.* “ow!!! you peice of shit! you are going to regret what you just did, pet! when i get out of here... you are going to pay!!” *But the slave inside Sans’s head loved it. He wanted more... more punishments... more restraint! So he dug the tip of his phalanges into Papyrus’s hand, letting him know that he was going to need to tie the little lion down if he intended to train him.*

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** [This wasn’t working. Sans still had too much freedom. Far too much freedom. He wouldn’ be able to get very far without finding a restraint of some sort. Letting out an exasperated sigh, he gave a sideways glance to Sans.] I’LL ASK ONE MORE TIME, SANS, AND IF YOU DON’T ANSWER, I’LL USE YOUR WHIP. WHERE IS THE ROPE? [There was something about being so commanding that had Papyrus almost giddy with elation. It felt good to be the one giving orders, rather than taking them.]

 **SF! Sans:** *Sans turned his head towards Papyrus and smiled.* “you want to know where my rope is? so you can tie me up and ruin me? let me tell you...” *The little brat then hocked a loogie and spit in Papyrus’s face, the red glob of spittle landing on his cheekbone. Sans proceeded to laugh at his disgraced younger brother.* “find it yourself, perv! the magnificent sans does not fear your empty threats!!” *Sans shifted his restrained legs in anticipation. He knew Papyrus was not going to take this mockery without discipline. How many times had Sans punished Paps for his disobedience?* “what’s the matter, lewd brother? am i too much of a handful for you?”

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** [Without hesitation, without warning, Papyrus rose up a bit, allowing him enough room to back-hand Sans across the face while still restraining him. His eyes were cold and uncaring, and still void of light.] WHAT WAS THAT ABOUT EMPTY THREATS, SANS? [His eyes started to glow with magic, and he locked onto Sans’s soul. Oh that poor soul, flashing like a beacon. It looked hungry. Don’t worry, little soul. Papyrus will get to you eventually. For now, though, Papyrus was content with lifting Sans into the air and suspending him there with his magic. That gave the taller skeleton time to move from the bed and towards the place where he’d cast aside the whip. He picked it up, then had Sans float towards him. Once he was within arms reach, Papyrus took Sans’s ankles, and after binding them together with the end of the whip, he did the same to his wrists.]

 **SF! Sans:** *This time, Sans couldn’t hold in the yelp of pain when he was struck, he even let a sob escape afterward! During the time that Papyrus prepared and administered Sans’s unorthodox whip restraint, the small fallen master was at a mental war with himself. His dominant side screaming at him to fight back harder, to find a way to turn the tables to make Papy pay, and the submissive side reveling in every drop of Sans’s own physical and emotional anguish. The next thing Sans knew, he was uncomfortably restrained, arched back and his chest thrust out lewdly, his knees involuntarily bent and his hands tied together behind his back. Much to his dominant side’s dismay, Papyrus was surprisingly skilled at tying knots. Perhaps picking the skill up from being tied up himself. Sans did his best to look dignified, even when hogtied lying on the floor.* “well? are you happy now?” *Sans hissed, a tear on the cheek that was backhanded.* “do you feel like some big, strong skeleton? typing up your brother in his own room? now what, freak? you don’t even know what to do with me! spare yourself the humiliation and let me go.”

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** DOUBTING ME AGAIN? [He glared down at Sans before giving the smaller skeleton a nice kick in the ribs. Papyrus couldn’t deny the mild amusement he felt from watching Sans get dealt punishments he himself had endured many times past. Seeing Sans on the floor like this, with his foot right there, Papyrus couldn’t help himself. Revenge would be sweet, tonight. He kicked Sans again, rolling him over onto his back, then set his foot on top of the other’s rib cage. He grinned wildly, tilting his head to the side.] MY MY, DOESN’T THIS SEEM FAMILIAR...? MAYBE I SHOULD BREAK YOUR RIB NOW. [He chuckled.] WE’D MATCH...

 **SF! Sans:** *The sharp pain in his ribs made him want to curl into a ball, but all he could do was lay on his side and howl in pain. He was terrified, his submissive side now taking the reigns of his mind, telling him to beg for mercy, to cry, to be pathetic, to give in and beg his brother to play nice. But he just couldn’t... it went against the disgraced little master’s instincts. It was like telling a cat to bark. A fish to fly... But his expression hid nothing, his eyes were wide with pain and terror, out of control and uncertain. His mouth was clenched in a shivering, toothy grimace, as a last pitiful attempt at being intimidating. He had to say something, he was whimpering, and that was unacceptable.* “f----ffffuck y-y-you brother.” *He let out a frightened sob, then shakily whispered.* “do it. b-b-break me. see if th--that m-m-makes you feel tough.” *Then Sans sobbed again fearfully and braced himself.*

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** [Papyrus stared at Sans for a moment, reveling at the site of his older brother so conflicted. Trying to be tough and failing horribly. It was a nice change of pace.] WELL, IF YOU’RE SURE... [And then, he slowly pressed down on the ribs, his dark sockets locked on Sans.]

 **SF! Sans:** *It’s funny how the threat of serious injury could make a cat bark.* “NO! STOP! DON’T DO IT! PLEASE PAPY, PLEASE DON’T HURT ME!! I’M SORRY, OKAY??!! JUST DON’T BREAK MY RIBS!!!” *God fucking dammit.*

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** [The sheer shock of hearing Sans beg, especially so desperately, made Papyrus stop about halfway into the act. He held it there for a moment, blinking at the smaller skeleton. Then, he grinned at him.] DO YOU KNOW HOW CUTE YOU ARE LIKE THIS? [He stepped off of Sans’s ribs, then crouched beside his skull. Papyrus’s trailed a phalange along the bottom of his brother’s mandible.] DO YOU THINK YOU CAN BEHAVE ENOUGH TO STAY ON THE BED THIS TIME, SANS?

 **SF! Sans:** *The horror of it all... Would a broken rib really have been so bad? Now knowing the sound of him begging like a bitch will forever be saved in his stupid brother’s brain was torture. What was going to happen now? Now that Papyrus knew he could be broken. God, he already felt broken...* “this isn’t cute papyrus! i just didn’t want to have to explain to everyone why i had a broken rib tomorrow! how DARE you make me grovel like that... like I was some sort of... of worm!” *How could he be so weak? He had broken bones before. So why? Did he just want to beg? Did he just want to feel weak for once in his life? It felt strangely good to give in like that... Sans was far too lost in shocked thought to even think of answering Papyrus’s question.”

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** [Papyrus frowned at Sans’s silence. He didn’t want to just torment his brother. He wanted to feel his brother’s soul pulse in his hands. The promise of that, something so close within his reach, was driving him mad. He wanted it now. So, he reached to Sans’s chest and picked him up by the fabric of his battle body, then half carried, half dragged him back to the bed and tossed him onto it once more. After that, Papyrus climbed on top of Sans, straddling him.] YOU’RE SO CUTE, BROTHER. I’M GOING TO HAVE SO MUCH FUN WITH YOU~

 **SF! Sans:** *Sans wished he had caved and told Papyrus where the rope was when he landed uncomfortably on his side in his bed. Sans was half mortified, and half excited, but he put all his efforts into to only letting the former half show. He squirmed pointlessly against his bonds as Papyrus climbed onto his prey, finally trapping his victim between his arms and legs. God, Sans was so turned on in that moment... So aroused and so humiliated and vulnerable. His soul ached against his sternum. He didn’t want Papyrus to see his true emotions burning his chest, but he knew it couldn’t be helped.* “i am NOT cute brother!! how dare you mock me with such descriptions! release me now papyrus, and i may consider leaving one of your ribs unbroken when I am finished dealing with you!”

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** [The taller payed his prey no mind. He’d won this game, and now it was time to claim his prize. Papyrus clicked his teeth against Sans’s once more, allowing a hand to slip under his brother’s battle body and tease the ribs underneath.] ...ADMIT IT, BROTHER. DEEP DOWN, YOU’RE JUST LIKE ME. A MASOCHIST HUNGERING TO BE PUNISHED. TO FEEL PAIN. CRAVING TO BE DOMINATED BY SOMEONE. [He smirked, then leaned close to the other’s ear.] ...DON’T WORRY, LITTLE PET. I’LL PLAY NICE THIS TIME~

 **SF! Sans:** *Hearing the horrible truth spoken by his former submissive dealt a massive blow. That, combined with the new sensation of his soul being that much closer to being discovered sent a shockwave of panic-induced arousal through his bones. He shuddered at the touch and turned his head to his new master.* “w-ait a second papyrus... don’t you...would you rather have me bound up with the rope?” *He couldn’t believe what he was saying... but he was so desperate at this point.* “mweh heh... after all, you can’t even touch my spine with me like this... and i’m just so uncomfortable... if you just untie my hands and i’ll tell you where i put it. you can keep my legs tied with the whip...” *Sans grimaced.* “i just... want you to make me feel good.”

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** [So, the other’s true colors had finally revealed themselves. Papyrus hummed, musing to himself. Sans must have been really desperate if he was willing to tell him where the rope was. And that confession! Oh, how sweet it was to hear such an incestuous request from Sans. He had to milk it.] MY STARS, SANS. WHAT A LEWD THING TO ASK. AND FROM YOUR OWN BROTHER, TOO. WHO’S THE INCESTUOUS PERVERT NOW, HM? [He snickered, then allowed his tongue to run down from Sans’s mandible to the vertebrae that made up his neck.] TELL ME WHERE THE ROPE IS FIRST, AND MAYBE I’LL CONSIDER IT.

 **SF! Sans:** *He wanted to scream. Was this really what he was reduced to? Caving into the sick demands of his pervert brother? After all, he wasn’t the incestuous one. Sure, he might occasionally massage his soul thinking about Papyrus. And yes, sometimes his discipline tactics on his brother may have come off at scandalous at times... But he was not incestuous! He never had any intentions to ever touch his brother’s tender orange heart, or kiss and lick his bones the way that... stars that felt good. Sans’s upper vertebrae were quite sensitive and... UGH. He was NOT incestuous, NOR a pervert! OR a submissive!! Sans sighed,* “it’s hanging in my closet you oversized worthless idiot. must i tell you everything? i thought you wanted to be the master tonight. now untie my hands... I want...” *Sans swallowed dryly and looked at Papyrus with an uncharacteristically passive expression.* “i want to touch you... papy.”

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** [Papyrus’s sockets widened, his soul skipping a pulse, only to start drumming harder in his rib cage. Even the little white orbs in his eyes returned, if only for a moment. The way Sans had said that... It wasn’t said in the same tone as when Sans had begged while being pressed against the door. No, this sounded far too genuine to be a trick. Either that, or the smaller skeleton had somehow learned how to lie effectively. Papyrus only hoped it was the former as, without a word, he sat up, then got off the bed once more and walked to the closet. He’d have to see for himself if the rope was actually there before untying his older brother’s wrists. At least then, if Sans was lying, Papyrus wouldn’t have to go through the trouble of tying him up again.]

 **SF! Sans:** *Papyrus’s skeptical expression triggered an exasperated eye roll from the hogtied skeleton.* “what reason do I have to lie to you? I’m not exactly in any position to get away.” *Sure enough, when Papyrus opened the closet, he saw neatly folded, hanging on several black hooks, an array of ropes of all shapes and sizes.* “i don’t understand why you didn’t just try to look for them yourself. i thought you were supposed to be in control. now hurry up and untie me! my back is starting to get sore from being in this ridiculous position.” *Sans gave the tall skeleton a glare that was meant to both threaten and challenge him. Sans was his own slave. He needed to punish himself for being a coward earlier on the floor. He couldn’t wait to punish himself and please both his temporary and permanent masters.*

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** [He looked through the assortment of ropes, browsing through them like one would in a clothing store. He took his time, paying little attention to the small skeleton in the background. Finally, after an unnecessarily long time, he settled on a thin yet strong rope and turned back to face Sans.] I AM IN CONTROL. I’M NOT THE ONE TIED UP, AM I? [He moved forward, chuckling, then snatched Sans’s wrists again and, after releasing them from the whip binding, he tied one of the wrists with the rope and proceeded to tie that one to the base of the bed. With the other wrist in his clutch, he glared down at his brother.] IF YOU CAN BEHAVE, I’LL LET YOU KEEP THIS ONE FREE. YOU CAN’T REALLY TOUCH ME IF BOTH OF YOUR HANDS ARE TIED.

 **SF! Sans:** *He growled impatiently when he realized his hands weren’t going to be freed right away. He hated waiting, he hated trying to prove himself to someone else. It made him feel pathetic. He felt like garbage, even lower than garbage. But god, he loved it. He loved when he was forced to let that shameful side of him come out. He had no choice but to let the little bitch out.* “do i really have any say in misbehaving? after all, you have my legs. like i said before... _i just want to touch you, paps. please? just for a minute... let me touch you with both hands_. *Sans was so ashamed. He really hoped his his phrasing would have come out more impatient than eager, Was the please really necessary?*

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** YOU GET ONE HAND. [Papyrus paused, searching Sans’s gaze. He found his brother so adorable tied up like this. Incapable of resisting and completely at his mercy. It felt so good to be the master for once. With a sigh, he moved Sans’s hand to his mandible, leaning into the touch a bit before letting the hand go free. He moved one of his hands to reciprocate the touch.] YOU’LL HAVE TO EARN THE OTHER HAND.

 **SF! Sans:** *Again, patience was one of Sans’s weakest points, and it was certainly not doing him any favors at the moment. As soon as his hand was free, he balled it into a fist and struck Papyrus with an uppercut to the jaw. He knew the blow was not very effective, that he was going to be punished, that the resulting violence and distrust from his captor was going to increase as a result of his insolence, but he didn’t care. He wanted Papyrus to know he was going to fight tooth and nail until the bitter end, secretly basking in every moment of his dignity being crumbled into the dust. After the punch, Sans had a brief moment to thrash uselessly against the remaining restraints.* “i’ll kill you! how dare you make me grovel like that! you’re going to have to let me go eventually, and when you do.... so help me toriel!”

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** [The taller skeleton snarled, grabbing the smaller’s wrist and twisting it to an almost-painful angle.] SO CLOSE... SO CLOSE... YOU COULD HAVE GOTTEN OFF EASY... BUT THEN AGAIN, YOU LIKE PUNISHMENT, DON’T YOU SANS? [Papyrus grinned, then bent his brother’s wrist further, threatening to break it.] YOU DON’T REALLY NEED YOUR WRISTS FOR THIS... WHY TIE THEM UP WHEN I CAN JUST BREAK YOU? YOU’VE DONE IT TO ME ENOUGH TIMES...

 **SF! Sans:** *The pitiful mewling whimper that Sans let out at the sound of his wrist bones being pushed to their physical limits proved that Papyrus was right. His cries were identical to the sounds he would make when pleasuring himself. He loved it and hated it so much at the same time. He wanted to struggle but he found himself frozen in place out of fear for his wrists. He wanted to fight his fear and take the pain, but he was so new to being at the receiving end. He crumbled every time.* “stop... don’t do it.” *Tears formed in his sockets.*

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** WHY SHOULD I? [Papyrus tilted his head to the side, still holding Sans’s wrist, neither letting up on the pressure nor making any advance on breaking it.] YOU’LL ONLY ATTACK ME AGAIN THE NEXT CHANCE YOU GET. OBVIOUSLY, I NEED TO TEACH YOU WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I’M IN CONTROL, YES?

 **SF! Sans:** “i can’t do anything anymore...” *The power that existed in the overthrown little master’s voice was gone. He felt so broken, so defeated, so hungry for more. He wanted Pap to lift up his battle body and violate him. Sans couldn’t stand it any longer. 27 years was a long time for a soul to be alone. He thought he could take way more damage from Papyrus than he did. In his fantasies he was almost dead by the time Papyrus ravished him sexually. But helplessness was much more tempting to give into in real life.* “don’t hurt me papyrus...” *There was a pregnant pause.* “... ...please.”


	7. Papyrus continued to stare

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, I caved in. Mondays and Thursdays because I love this thing too much. And I love reading and responding to you people! Seriously! Thank all of you so much for your comments, and the kudos, and the bookmarks! It means a lot!
> 
> Also, we're apparently over 1,500 hits??? That's insane! Thank you so much!!! Enjoy chapter 7. This will be fun.  
> ~Flame

**Swapfell!Papyrus:** [Papyrus continued to stare at Sans. Stars, he looked so tempting lying helpless like that. And the begging? That was priceless. He sounded so defeated. The younger brother could only imagine how Sans would react if he actually broke his wrist. Honestly though, he didn’t want to. He really wanted to shift his focus back to Sans’s soul. That soul he’d been craving for two years. The soul that had been pulsing and flashing under the older’s battle body for quite a while. It’s hard to do what one sets out for themself when they keep getting distracted, though.] ...YOU KNOW WHAT, BROTHER? LET’S JUST GET TO THE POINT. [Papyrus let up on the pressure he put into Sans’s wrist, but still held it as he pulled it up above Sans’s skull. With his free hand, Papyrus tugged on the chest piece of Sans’s battle body, pulling it up and over his brother’s skull and exposing his ribs. Once they were bare, Papyrus started nibbling each rib individually.]

 **SF! Sans:** *At first, his _’no’_ s and _’stop it’_ s were loud and stern, but once the black leather of his battle body flashed over his face and the cage that protected his shy soul was exposed to the air around it, the protests grew weaker, their meaninglessness suffocating their conviction. But it was feeling his brother’s gaze on the soul that magically clutched to his body. It represented his true self. Within its glow sat his servant, begging to be freed after almost 3 decades of tight bondage. Magic certainly had its own kinks. While Papyrus could touch and torment the soul where it rested, he could not remove it from Sans’s sternum without Sans willing it to be moved. The sensation of teeth grinding against Sans’s ribs was met with sighs and little gasps. Stars... Was this it? Was he raising the white flag already?*

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** [Each little sigh or gasp he heard from Sans was taken as a personal victory. He’d wanted to hear those sounds come from his brother because of him for so long, and now that dream was finally reality. He wanted more. He needed more. That hunger he’d set aside to tame the beast under him was quickly resurfacing, and it would not be sated by noises as quiet as these. His tongue, which had started aiding his teeth in stimulating Sans’s ribs at some point, trailed up his sternum, along his clavicle, and finally back to that familiar nook in between his mandible and vertebrae.] MOAN FOR ME, PET... [Papyrus bit down on those sensitive vertebrae while his free hand continued to tease those ribs.]

 **SF! Sans:** *No... He couldn’t, he wouldn’t... He would squirm, gasp, whine, growl, hiss, bite himself, roll his eyes, sob, whimper, sigh, groan, scream, and yelp... But no... No he wouldn’t moan. Not on command. Did that count as rebelling at this point? What about the sound he made when Papy bit at his cervical vertebrae? Was that a moan? His mind was so foggy. The closer Papyrus got to his soul, the more he felt like his mind and memories were no longer his. He wasn’t sure what would happen if Papyrus touched his soul when he was like this. It had been a long... had he ever actually touched anyone else’s soul directly before? Fuck... he was a virgin. Was he really going to lose it to his own brother. He guessed it made sense... Papyrus was the monster who could tolerate his violent temper more than anyone else.* “nnngh... w-wait paps... before you touch my soul... i--i should let you know.” *His skull had never burned hotter in his life, and he used to train for weeks at a time next to the Core.* “i---i’ve never done this before... so perhaps you should reconsider...”

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** [At this point, Papyrus didn’t care. All of those noises, even if they weren’t technically moans, rang in the taller skeleton’s skull, fueling his soul like a drug. Papyrus had started making noises too. Panting, sighing, growling, humming, groaning, he voiced it all. Still, he wanted more. More, more, so much more. He wanted more of everything Sans had to offer. Of course, the only thing Papyrus really had left to take was his brother’s soul. Papyrus’s hand teased around the opening where his ribs parted from his sternum, only to hesitate when Sans spoke. He looked to Sans, sockets dark and half-lidded.] SORRY~ I CAN’T STOP NOW. I’M FAR TOO INTO THIS. [With that, Papyrus finally slipped his hand into the other’s rib cage, finding that desperate soul of his and gingerly cradling it before he started gently massaging it with his thumb.] YOU’RE JUST SO ADORABLE, BROTHER. I CAN’T HELP MYSELF...

 **SF! Sans:** *When Papyrus touched his soul, he got those moans he wanted. Only they weren’t just coming from Sans. In fact, none of them were coming from Sans. Sans was laying in his helpless bound position, his body stiffening and strangely still at the most bizarre sensation he had ever felt in his entire life. He felt like with the touch, Papyrus had taken something. Why did he have this weird feeling that a specific memory left his mind. Just a flash, a heartbeat. From when he was in his room touching himself, just moments before he finished. Was this... something Papyrus was seeing? Was this something that happened when two monsters touched one another? Or was this something specific for the 2 brothers? Whatever it was, it felt incredible, amazing, and downright terrifying. Was he going to be emotionally violated? His memories torn from him against his will? And what about Papyrus’s memories? Was Sans going to feel them too when he touched his soul?* “p-papyrus... did you feel that? what was that?” *Fear was painted clear as day on Sans’s face.*

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** [The scene flashed in the younger brother’s vision. Sans, alone in his room, moaning and panting, on the verge of release. And just before he came undone, the vision faded, and Papyrus was left almost frozen above Sans, sockets wide with shock. His pupils had returned, and he took a few shaky breaths as he turned his gaze to Sans. A similar fear played on his features, having not had expected something like that, and subsequently having been caught off-guard.] I... I DON’T KNOW, M’LORD... I FELT IT THOUGH... [The fear was slowly replaced with a sort of excitement. A new development had arisen, and Papyrus was considering testing it out.] ...DO YOU THINK IT’LL BE THE SAME IF YOU TOUCH MY SOUL?

 **SF! Sans:** *Sans steadied his breathing from the shock and tried to sit up to think, forgetting he was still tied down.* “i have no idea. i’ve never felt anything like that before.” *If Papyrus had just gone through the experience Sans thought he went through, then he must have felt it too. The sensation of being someone else for a second while still being aware of yourself. It was the most bizarrely erotic thing he had ever felt, like having an orgasm without having one at all. The game of predator and prey seemed to be getting an odd experimental twist.* “p..papyrus, i’m scared... we should probably stop.” *But his voice was coated thickly with a lack of conviction. He was curious. And it felt amazing. Like nothing he had ever felt before. Touch Papyrus’s soul? What kind of memories would he have?*

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** [The bonds didn’t let Sans go very far, but even so, Papyrus eased Sans back down after a moment. The orbs in his sockets flickered, as if unsure whether to stay or go, though his gaze held that same hunger as before, as well as a little bit of desperation.] BUT I DON’T WANT TO... [The taller skeleton reached for Sans’s free hand. He wasn’t just going to let Sans stop them halfway. They needed to finish what they’d started.] TRY TOUCHING MINE. [His tone wasn’t as commanding as it was curious, but it still held a dominant undertone nonetheless. He brought Sans’s hand close, letting the tips of his phalanges rest on the bottom of his sternum while leaving his palm free to the cavity under it.]

 **SF! Sans:** *With trembling digits, he inched his now free hand up under the bone armor that protected Papyrus’s glowing life force. Sans felt so different now. The voice inside his head that would have told him to take advantage of his freedom and crack his brother’s ribs was now uncharacteristically silent now, replaced with an obligation to obey the new master’s command. Earlier today he wouldn’t have been afraid to touch Papyrus there in order to inflict pain, even if he never had before. But now Sans found himself so timid as his gloved hand reflected red and orange. Maybe the gloves would keep Sans from seeing memories? And if he did see memories, what kind of memories? Papyrus touching himself like Sans was? Or something different entirely? Only one way to find out.* “papyrus...” *Sans hesitated for a moment, then reached out and gently touched the warm orange and red heart.*

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** [Papyrus took in a sharp breath. In that moment, even with the gloves over the other’s hands, the younger skeleton felt a memory of his own leave him.  
_The quietness of Waterfall, a younger Papyrus surrounded by echo flowers. Then, whispering into one of them a small “i love you, papyrus," in his best Sans impression. It wouldn’t be very impressive._  
With the memory having been shone, Papyrus couldn’t help but shudder. He exchanged a glance with Sans, his expression mixed.] D-DO YOU THINK THAT WAS NORMAL...?

 **SF! Sans:** *Sans’s eyes shot open and then relaxed to a half lidded gaze. It was an incredibly powerful feeling, witnessing another monster’s memories. He could practically feel the cool blue cavern air, smell the pollen from the flowers, hear the white noise of rushing water. A strange sense of nostalgia filled his own soul as he took in the bittersweet memory of the adolescent skeleton yearning for the simple affection of his big brother. Stars, and here Sans thought a whip to the soul stung... but as always, Sans was his own slave. He loyally served his own fear and distrust of love. It plagued him him like a black shadow. He could never tell Papyrus... at least... not directly. Sans’s train of thought was broken by the question.* “th--that what was normal? the memory sharing thing or the fact that you have always been so creepily obsessed with me?”

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** [Papyrus sighed, then chuckled in spite of himself. He lightly clacked his teeth against Sans’s. His sockets, dimmed once again, were also half lidded.] IT DOESN’T REALLY MATTER NOW, DOES IT? [The taller skeleton moved his hand back into Sans’s rib cage, having removed it when he’d told his brother to touch his soul, and found the little red and blue heart again. He smiled, and let his fingers brush over the soul, teasing it. He was hungry, and wanted another taste of Sans’s memories.]

 **SF! Sans:** *He let out a shaky whimper at the sensation of his soul being touched... Oh no... If he kept doing this... If he kept prodding his memories...*  
_"hurt me more please…" *Sans’s memory sobbed. Water could also be heard, it was nearby, filling the scene with steam. Sans was alone, the shower was running, but Sans was leaned up against the sink, again, touching himself. One hand furiously attacking his own heart, and the other small appendage was wrapped around his neck, squeezing it...*_  
*How humiliating! He could no longer hide his shameful masochistic desires behind thinly veiled lies. There it was, trembling before him.* “please papyrus... stop, i don’t want you seeing anymore of this.” *The real Sans begged... He was really begging. But if he was in Papyrus’s bones right now, there would be no way he would listen to himself.*

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** [Well, Papyrus’s bones certainly didn’t stop. If anything, each new memory he pulled from Sans’s soul invigorated him. All the little secrets Sans had kept from him throughout the years. All his little masochistic fantasies... He drank them all up like a drug. The only sounds Papyrus made were hungry growls and pleased sighs.]

 **SF! Sans:** “stop it papyrus! please! i...i....nnngh....” *Sans was terrified. For years, he kept his masochistic desires a secret. He had so many secrets... And as Papyrus continued groping his love-starved heart, he milked another memory out.  
_Again, it was in the bathroom, perhaps even the same day... But Sans appeared to be spent, kneeling on the bathroom floor, gasping for air and his hand a sticky mess.* "papyrus... i love you... i’m so messed up... i love you brother..."_  
*No! No! Not that one! Any memory but that one! Please... God... Stars... Sans was never going to hear the end of this... He desperately struggled against the bonds and the taller skeleton harder than before, as if his very life was on the line.* “PAPYRUS!!! BROTHER!!! STOP!!! LET ME GO!!!”

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** [Those words... The three words he’d been craving to hear from his brother for over two years... Papyrus froze, sockets wide and stunned into a complete silence. The lights on his sockets returned slowly, and focused on Sans. Then, all at once, tears started to flow from his sockets.] M... M’LORD... [He stifled a sob, his soul quivering in his chest. Those three words. Those three, beautiful words... He couldn’t help it. He buried his skull in his brother’s shoulder.] I LOVE YOU... I LOVE YOU TOO, SANS...

 **SF! Sans:** “I---I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU SO MUCH! WHEN I GET OUT OF HERE... I’LL DUST YOU!” *But in the embrace, the close proximity and intensity of the passion of the skeleton brothers’ hearts echoed memories of the sweet words whispered in private from the both of them, each soul telling the other how they really felt. It was such a bizarre, abstract, but emotional moment. And Sans’s tears of embarrassment and helpless frustration dripped onto Papyrus’s skull.* “you really are pathetic.” *Sans finally sobbed, frustrated and defeated.* “how could you love me anyways? all i do is hurt you...”

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** THAT’S NOT ALL YOU DO, SANS... [Despite everything, Papyrus smiled. It was a true, genuine smile, something that he hadn’t been able to do in a long time. He slipped his hands around Sans, holding him closer than he had since they were children.] WE USED TO LIVE ON THE STREETS, REMEMBER? ...YOU USED TO SING ME TO SLEEP, AND I’D CURL UP NEXT TO YOU BECAUSE YOU WERE THE ONLY SAFE PLACE IN THE ENTIRE UNDERGROUND... YOU FOUGHT TOOTH AND NAIL TO GET THIS HOUSE FOR US, AND... I CAN NEVER REPAY YOU FOR THAT...

 **SF! Sans:** *Sans did remember... He wanted to forget. He wanted to forget he ever had the capacity to care. And as Papyrus brought up all the memories, they replayed themselves through their bond. Painful, bittersweet memories of them struggling, having nothing but each other. Fighting over who was going to give who the bigger share of food. Sans holding his shivering baby brother at night, giving him his scarf to keep him warm. It was too much! The love was too much. Love was not what got him to where he was today! Or... was it? When was the first time he hurt his brother? What happened? Suddenly a memory flashed;  
_Sans had just gotten his job as a sentry, and Papyrus didn’t want him to leave for his first day... They fought so hard. Sans hit him hard enough to knock him down. And as Sans stomped out the door, Papyrus yelled, "I JUST DON’T WANT TO LOSE YOU!"_  
Sans was scared of love... He didn’t want Papyrus to be lost without him. He didn’t want him to be sad if he died. And now look where it got him. Now, instead of being normal brothers, he craved him like a lover... He wanted to hold and kiss and press their souls together until they became one.* “y--you are my burden, papyrus.” *He meant for it to come off as cold, like Papyrus was an inconvenience. But his soul whispered the truth:* _you are my everything, papyrus._ “you are a chore, a weight i have to carry.” _you are a blessing, a light in my shadow._ “i hate you.” _i love you._ *If he could just stop crying... Maybe then he could sound stronger.*

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** [Papyrus didn’t care about the words Sans was speaking. The meaning behind them, the true meaning his soul was giving the younger brother, was all he needed to start crying. He was so happy. Years without being shown the slightest bit of affection were forgotten as Sans’s soul revealed his brother’s true nature. Papyrus reached up to Sans’s face, using his hand to phalange his tears away.] I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, BROTHER. I WANT TO MAKE YOU FEEL GOOD. ...CAN WE FINISH, YET? [His own soul pulsed in his rib cage, ready to be let out.]

 **SF! Sans:** *Stop crying... Stop... Why did it have to feel so good when his brother comforted and cried with him? Why did these tears feel so much better, so much more real than when he cried alone? Was this really something the small sadomasochist needed? Was this the fulfillment he had been looking for? He HAD to be tough on the outside. He was the head of the royal guard! He defeated Alphys in hand to hand combat! And yet, here he was, crumbling before his brother. It was then that he noticed his unbound hand was free... but he... he just couldn’t hurt Papyrus. Instead he reached inside his soul’s prison, and with a delicate hand, he carefully removed the little blue and red gem, shyly and tearfully presenting it to his new master.* “l--lets just get this over with... it’s not like i have a choice, anyways.” *Sans pouted.* _i belong to you... you’ve always been my real master, papy._ *The soul mewed.*

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** [Papyrus gingerly took the soul from his brother’s grasp, still smiling at him. The little two-toned soul glowed beautifully, like a tiny treasure. This soul... The soul he’d craved for two years. The soul he cherished just as much as his own, if not more. This soul was the only one Papyrus could even fathom fusing with. Carefully, Papyrus reached into his own rib cage and retrieved his orange and red soul. It glowed brightly, pulsing at almost the same rate as Sans’s. Now with both souls in his possession, the taller brother leaned down to nuzzle Sans.] I LOVE YOU, M’LORD. [Gently, he pressed their souls together.]

 **SF! Sans:** *This wasn’t how it was supposed to be! In his fantasies, Papyrus had always beaten him until he was moments away from death. His soul ripped from his chest while he lay helpless, struggling with all his might, finally surrendering with the last of his strength. But here he was, all his bones intact, while his broken brother with the scarred heart basked in the glory. Sans didn’t know what to expect when they fused. But the sensation... So warm, so cold and hot and... He just needed to hold something, someone. He grabbed his brother by his dog collar and desperately slammed their mouths together, whimpering and lapping at Papyrus’s teeth like a hungry puppy. It was an incredible sight... Light overlapping light, the hearts’ rapid oscillations making them appear almost like they were melting. Little illuminated particles of blue, orange and red danced and floated around the two skeletons in a magical mist.* “papy, aaahhnnn, please! h--harder!” *Sans said.* “i love you... i love you... i love you so much, master.” *To say it felt good would have been the biggest understatement of his life.*

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** [Papyrus’s back arched against Sans the moment their souls touched. Pleasure far more intense than anything he’d felt before surged up, crashing onto him like a tidal wave, and it was all he could do to try and keep up with Sans as they desperately held each other. Papyrus was eager to reciprocate Sans’s kiss, wasting no time when he started intertwining his tongue with his brother’s, moaning and panting around the kiss while their bodies were bathed in the light produced by their souls. Sparks of magic flew off of them, adding to the mist that they were surrounded by. Papyrus clung to Sans, as if the older brother was the only thing keeping him alive. Papyrus sobbed again, then held their souls tighter together. Anything for his little pet. Anything for his brother. Anything for Sans.]

 **SF! Sans:** *As Papyrus pressed harder, the memories started flooding in like a broken dam. Memories they spent together, memories they spent alone, countless secrets, endless confessions to no one, things kept locked away for years, like Sans’s thirst for pain and Papyrus’s desire to dominate. None of it mattered. There was no secret that Sans would ever leave his brother for. And besides, the only memories that really stood out were the lamentations each skeleton made for one another during their times alone. Each one calling out the other’s name in darkness, never knowing that one day their cries would be heard. Sans suddenly removed his hand from Papyrus’s collar and clutched the hand holding their souls and frantically squeezed, as if in a last ditch effort to be in control.* “please...” *Sans sobbed and hiccupped, briefly breaking the kiss, completely lost. He had no idea who he even was anymore.* “make me hurt good, master.”

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** [Tears flowed freely from Papyrus’s sockets, each flash of memory only bringing him closer to Sans. It was beautiful. Sans was beautiful. His dear older brother, lost to the pleasure of it all and completely at Papyrus’s mercy. Of course, Papyrus wasn’t much better. Every confession Sans made through his memories filled a piece of him that he hadn’t realized was so desperate to be filled. Each "i love you" and even just saying his name in that low, desperate tone gave Papyrus so much joy. The taller looked down at Sans as the kiss was broken, his gaze filled with love for the other. He smiled, then with a nod, he leaned down to Sans’s neck and gave it nice bite as he pressed his palm against Sans’s, intertwining their fingers together and allowing them both control over the pressure on their souls.]

 **SF! Sans:** *Sans wondered how he could feel so filled, so complete, so at ease with the world... and still want more. The sensation of Papyrus’s teeth sinking into his oh so sensitive neck vertebrae felt like someone applying an ice pack to a 3rd degree burn. There was relief, but god, he wanted so, so much more. He interwove his fingertips between his brother’s and felt for the soul they now shared. He dug his tiny phalagetips into it, not sure whether he was puncturing his own or his brother’s heart, but he certainly felt it. The pain from his neck and soul created the most lewd and greedy sounds to ever escape the small skeleton. Suddenly he found that bravery he lost when Papyrus was threatening to break his ribs. Sans’s ability to be in control was gone. He was Papyrus. He just wanted to please his master. He wanted to take the orange and red soul and gently taste the horrible wound he left on it. All his desires paling in the yearning to make Papyrus feel good, to make his soul burst and melt.* “more... more papy...hurt me more.”

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** [Shivers ran through Papyrus, stemming from his very core and spider webbing outward until every bone felt the true pleasure of being one with his brother. Listening to him voice such beautiful sounds while making his own. He howled from it, unable to keep quiet and having no intention to do so. As he chewed on Sans’s neck, hard enough to inflict the pain the smaller skeleton was craving while being soft enough to keep from causing permanent damage, his free hand moved back to Sans’s ribs. If the other wanted pain, he would provide it. Papyrus clawed those bones with the same amount of force he used on the vertebrae that made up the other’s neck.]

 **SF! Sans:** *Sans tugged desperately with his bound appendages, the rope dug hard enough into his bones to leave lasting marks. But Sans didn’t care, in fact he wanted those marks. Pretty little souvenirs to remind him of this rare vulnerable moment in his life. He wanted them to last forever. The sensations on his body and the rapid synchronized pulses up their souls caused Sans’s back to arch and his hips to buck and press desperately into his brother’s. He felt like nothing else existed in this world. Not even himself, not even Papyrus. Just the bonded soul and two embraced puppets singing their song of passion to one another.* “master... please... please untie me. please hurt me more, harder. break me master. give me all the pain back that i gave you... oh god.. oh please papy!” *His eye sockets shot open wildly, the color like nothing he had ever felt before. The usual red and blue, but now orange also danced within his eye socket.* “BREAK ME DAMMIT!”

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** [The taller skeleton only moaned as Sans begged to him like the slave he currently was. Of course, a master like Papyrus would eagerly try to please his slave. He bit harder. Scratched harder. Pressed their souls together harder. He even went so far as to push the claw Sans had further against their souls. It wasn’t enough. He couldn’t hurt Sans the way he wanted to be like this. He needed to be rougher. He needed to find that anger he’d been bottling up and use it to get past the care he wanted to give Sans. That tenderness would be something for later. Papyrus stopped clawing at Sans’s ribs, then took a hold of one of them. The same rib he bore his own injury. With a sharp flick of his wrist, a sharp crack sounded as Papyrus fractured the bone.]

 **SF! Sans:** *Pain... Finally... Real pain... The pain he always fantasized about. Even though his gaze was lost in his captor’s, in his mind he could see the cracks, the beautiful delicate cracks severing his rib bone. And with his bone coming apart, so was Sans. He had felt this before; like his heart was going to burst, like all his emotions, his fears, anything he deemed significant would vanish just for a moment. But this time, he wasn’t going to be alone. They could vanish together. There was just too much going on. All Sans could do was scream and weep. He was so afraid of what he was going to think of himself once this moment became a memory. But he couldn’t linger on the thought. The pain in his rib and his heart, so close to collapse...* “god... yessssss... m-master... you’re so good! ughhhh... i’m... i’m so close!!! please untie me! please! i need to hold you! please!" *He caught his breath after the outburst.* “i--i love you...”

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** [Papyrus felt like his soul could burst at any moment. The praise from his brother, the begging, and especially that "i love you" filled him up with ecstasy. He was so close to the breaking point, and judging from Sans’s reaction, he was too. Papyrus only nodded once before moving his hand to Sans’s bound wrist. He’d tied it in such a way that he could take it off easily, but it would be hard to wriggle out of. It had served it’s purpose, and Sans had earned that wrist. Oh stars, he’d earned it ten times over. With releasing Sans done with, the younger skeleton pressed his teeth against the other’s, letting his tongue graze them.]

 **SF! Sans:** *It was incredible how perception of a body part could change so dramatically. Just an hour ago, that mouth was something he wanted kept shut, unless it was at his command. Now he just wanted to be inside it, warm and safe. _Like their first night under a roof together. It wasn’t much, just a little shack Sans found. But it felt like a real home with Papyrus there._ As the memory was shared, Sans took his free arm and wrapped it as tightly around Papyrus as possible. The idea of hurting him seemed offensive. When he grabbed Papyrus he felt like a wave crashing into the shore, his heart stopped for a second. And before he could stop himself, he make the ultimate submissive request.* “papyrus... i---i can’t hold it any longer... please... may i?”

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** [Somehow, this whole thing felt more complete with Sans’s arm around him. It was like the last piece of a jigsaw puzzle they’d started years ago, and we’re just now finishing. It definitely made Papyrus feel full. His soul, their souls, throbbed in sync. A true reflection of just how close they both were. He could only smile at his brother’s request. He’d taken the words right out of Papyrus’s mouth and echoed his thoughts back to him. He couldn’t say no. Not to Sans. Not like this. Not when he was so close to the edge himself. But especially not because, even though he was the master here, Papyrus wanted everything for his slave.] YES, SANS... P-PLEASE... TAKE US HOME...

 **SF! Sans:** *It was never enough for Sans. He was always so angry because he just never got enough out of life. Not enough respect, not enough power, not enough control. Every single aspect of his life seemed only half real. Nothing ever satisfied him. He never had anything he felt he could be thankful for. That is, until today, until this moment, when he could really look up and see something to genuinely smile about. Sans gave his owner the rarest, most genuine, tear stained smile of gratitude* thank you, master, i love you papyrus. *Then time stopped. Everything went white. There was nothing. Only the burning emotion of pure bliss and the sounds of the sweetest release. A place where everything and nothing mattered. The single soul they held in the same hand throbbed wildly and melted, and all Sans’s demons were freed in the form of magic residue. They were safe, everything was ok. More than ok. For the first time, Sans was getting enough.*

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** [Never in all of his years did Papyrus ever think that he’d find himself here. In his brother’s bedroom, arms wrapped around him in a mutual embrace. Their souls meshed together between their palms while they sung their song of love for one another. It was such a beautiful scene. Papyrus didn’t want it to end... And then time stopped. Time stopped around them, and all that remained was the glorious sensation of a unified soul melting for a love that had been kept in the darkness until now. And as the magic flowed, so too did Papyrus’s tears. They flowed freely as relief washed over him. Not just because they had come undone, but because in that moment, Papyrus realized just what it meant to truly love someone. And all the joy in the world couldn’t describe how happy he was knowing that the one he loved loved him the same.]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a reason it's called "Broken Memories"


	8. The descent back to regular time and space

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Three days a week. That is my final offer! Honestly, I just can't seem to wait to upload these. They're just so fun. And honestly, the world just needs more Swapfell. I hope you enjoy.  
> ~Flame

**SF! Sans:** *Like the rest of the experience, the descent back to regular time and space happened in a unique fashion... Sans knew nothing could last forever, especially not an incredible purge of erotic tension like that. His tensed bones eased slowly, like they were floating from taut to relaxed. He didn’t want to let go. He didn’t want to move on from this moment and face the future yet! Sans didn’t want to live in the "real" world, where love is tragic, where Sans was forced to hate in order to survive! He didn’t want any of that! He just wanted his perfect baby brother, his lover, his master...* “... my papyrus.” *The first thing he could think to say in this brave new world. And he pointlessly wiped at the flow of tears on Papyrus’s cheekbone, in a desperate attempt to remove whatever remnants of pain they contained.* “stars...what happened?”

**Swapfell!Papyrus:** [Papyrus gazed at Sans with every ounce of love he could muster. The release had left him mostly spent, and the lack of energy had him collapse next to his brother. He didn’t care. His brother was here, and he loved him the same. The younger skeleton smiled at the older and wearily leaned into his touch. Safe. That was the only word he could think to describe how he felt. Safe with his brother in a mutual embrace.] IT DOESN’T REALLY MATTER ANYMORE... [Like the child he used to be, Papyrus snuggled closer to Sans, nuzzling into his clavicle.] SANS...? COULD YOU SING TO ME? LIKE WHEN WE WERE KIDS?

**SF! Sans:** *Sans affectionately gazed down at his normally towering brother and gave him a bittersweet smile as they laid there, their souls still intertwined and trying to recover a steady beat in their phalanges. He always had felt like he was Papyrus’s master, his ruler, his owner... But now, he was being reminded of just how young and sweet his baby brother was. He looked so small, just like in those rare early years when Sans was actually taller than him. Even with all the weight Papyrus had pressing on the smaller skeleton, he still felt like he was holding something small, helpless, but oh-so-precious. The unusual request anchored that feeling. It certainly caught the military leader off guard. His face darkened nervously. He hadn’t sung to Papyrus in so long. And the only song he could remember... so cheesy! But Sans’s new-found subservience compelled him to obey, embarrassed but without protest:* “ _the other night dear, as i lay sleeping, i dreamed i held you in my arms, but when i woke, dear, i was mistaken, and i held my head and i cried..._ ”

**Swapfell!Papyrus:** [Papyrus seemed to relax as Sans sang, well, relax even more than he already was. He hadn’t heard that song in years, excluding those really bad nights where he’d sing it to himself for comfort. Now, all of that seemed to just disappear, as if it had never happened or ever needed to happen again. The older skeleton’s voice, so melodic and calming, allowed the younger all the comfort he needed. Here, in his brother’s arms, that was all he could ever ask for. Comfort. Something simple to take the pain away. And here it was, right here, in the form of his beloved older brother holding him in a mutual embrace and singing a song from their childhood. Papyrus sighed contently, snuggling impossibly closer to Sans. His brother. His love.]

**SF! Sans:** *It was so beautiful, so serene... It was killing him. As the final note of the song escaped him and he sat in the exhausted silence, it came. The foul beast that destroys and creates everything ugly and beautiful: time, reality. What was going to happen now? Was everything going to be different? Would Alphys and the rest of the royal guard notice the softness in him? What if they found out? Would he lose everything he worked so hard for? He wanted his mind to stop, but it just kept going. He was still connected with Papyrus, their digits still lovingly woven together. His mind had been drained of memories past, but could his brother hear his thoughts pacing about the future? Carefully, trying not to raise any suspicion from his sleepy contented lover, he loosened his grip, and let his sad heart slowly pull away from its mate. Stars... it hurt so much for him to do this.* “please brother... just be happy for a little while longer.”

**Swapfell!Papyrus:** [The reality was, he could hear those thoughts. Not because of their bond, but because Papyrus was thinking about them, too. Sure, he was tired, but that wouldn’t stop his mind from running scenarios where his brother took the brunt of ridicule from the other monsters for this. He didn’t want Sans to get hurt because of him. But his thoughts were ripped from him when Sans let their souls part. Papyrus whined quietly, the removal of Sans’s soul making him feel almost hollow. Now a single soul, the heart moved back into his rib cage on its own accord, Papyrus too exhausted to bother moving it himself. He just wanted to hold Sans forever. Why did the real world have to exist? _"Be happy..."_ He could do that. He further buried his skull into Sans’s bones, taking in his brother’s scent. He smelled nice. Soon enough, Papyrus found himself drifting off, exhaustion finally taking hold. He wanted to stay awake for longer, because he knew that things would have to go back to "normal" when he woke up. He didn’t want to go back to that cold loneliness where all they did together was fight. _"Be happy for a little while longer..."_ If it was for his brother, he’d do it. Maybe it wouldn’t be as bad as his mind wanted him to think. He had to hold onto that hope. He managed to murmur one more thing before sinking into a sleep that was filled with warm memories and tender embraces.] ...I LOVE YOU, BROTHER...

**SF! Sans:** *Sans always would tell Papyrus how much he hated love, that four letter word from hell. It would always wear the most tempting of disguises, making itself look pure, innocent. Even now, when Sans’s soul returned to it’s lonely prison, the happy ghost of Papyrus still burned hot within it. Sans wondered (hoped) if it would be permanent. With every passing second the old master grew stronger, angrier, scolding and degrading him with insults.* _"incestuous pervert." "i always knew you were a weak, pathetic little bitch."_ *But those comments didn’t bother Sans; he was used to them. But some hurt worse than others.* _"you did this to him." "you were supposed to protect him, not sexually abuse him until he snapped." "i thought the plan was if you died he would be happier without you." "you have to hurt him more now."_ *Why couldn’t the demons wait just a second? Just let Sans have this one sleep? He was so tired... And Papyrus... Could anything be more precious? He gave his brother a gentle squeeze and stroked him as he slept peacefully.* “i love you too Papyrus... i’ve always loved you.” *Even though he had never felt this exhausted in a long time. Sans could only pretend to sleep as his brother dozed. Time passed by too fast in sleep anyways...*

**Swapfell!Papyrus:** [Time did pass fairly quickly. At least for Papyrus it did. When he awoke the next morning, he felt better rested than any other time he could remember. He was still in Sans’s room, still in Sans’s arms. He hummed, content with the world, then remembered something. He sat up quickly, and... yep. Sans’s ankles were still tied. Papyrus quickly undid those bonds, then set the whip aside before snuggling back into Sans’s embrace again. Just a few more minutes. Just a few more minutes like this...]

**SF! Sans:** *Sans snapped out of his meditation when he felt his brother stir. Oh god, the restraints. He couldn’t believe he forgot. He screwed up his expression trying not to laugh, pretending to be asleep. Also if he laughed, he would have to face a nasty sting from his untreated bone fracture. He almost wished he was kept tied up. He wish that could be possible. But he knew he had to get his day started. Papyrus would have to go to his sentry, and Sans would have to---oh god.... he never thought of a story to explain the rib fracture... a fight at Muffet’s? No... No alibi... He fell? Aghhhh, no! It would tarnish his reputation. Perhaps a fight in the woods while he was training alone, with a mysterious hooded monster who fought valiantly but in the end was vanquished into dust! Yes... that might work... and... Oh... Papyrus. He felt just right in his arms. Just one more minute with his true master. Just so he could sneak a glance at his beautiful resting face nestled up so perfectly against him. Please time... Please stop* “papyrus---rrrghh!” *The fracture was a bit worse than he thought.* “my rib... needs prompt treatment... if you would kindly assist me... i--grrr-- i can’t be late.”

**Swapfell!Papyrus:** [The moment Sans spoke, Papyrus shot up into a sitting position. His own broken rib was still very sore, but his had at least been attended to, as badly as the gauze job was. Sans’s rib looked horrible, and Papyrus felt his soul throb with guilt. He pushed that guilt aside, though. Now wasn’t the time to worry about what had already been done. Papyrus carefully scooped Sans into his arms, bridal style, and held him close as he moved from the bed to the door. A quick unlock and turn of the knob, and he continued into the bathroom.]

**SF! Sans:** “ah no, that’s not---” *But he was picked up before he could protest. Papyrus was still as eagerly obedient, as always. The torture started immediately, and the rib was the least of his pain. Echos of last night screamed fresh in his memory, he couldn’t possibly focus on anything else. Sans had planned throughout the night on how to revert back to normal... well, a gentler version of what was normal... He still didn’t want Papyrus getting attached. He had to be cold. But, stars... the way he gently but firmly carried him, somehow not making him feel small. The way Sans felt his brother’s love during their connection. But the royal guardian had to be strong. Not for him, but for Paps. He couldn’t look his brother in the sockets. He could only look at the floor.* “about last night,” *Papyrus did an incredible job dressing the fracture. He really should apply to be a royal doctor. Why was he doing this?* “we--- we can’t do that anymore...” *But he wanted to make love to him right then and there on the bathroom floor and never stop.* “do you understand, papyrus?”

**Swapfell!Papyrus:** [Papyrus listened to his brother without interrupting once. He’d known this was going to happen. He’d known they couldn’t stay like that forever. But even knowing that... that didn’t make it hurt any less. He kept his focus on Sans’s rib, never once looking up. He couldn’t do it. When he was finished, he sat back and looked at the rib. Neatly braced and cleanly wrapped in gauze. Perfect. Except it wasn’t. None of this was perfect. Last night, when their souls were fused between their intertwined fingers? That had been perfect. This was just a slow decline before everything crashed back down to that hellish life they were living beforehand. ...And even though he wanted to stop it, Papyrus wouldn’t say no to Sans now.] YES, M’LORD. ...AND I’M SORRY I HIT YOU, LAST NIGHT. [He didn’t wait for Sans’s input.] I SIMPLY HAD A LITTLE TOO MUCH TO DRINK AT MUFFET’S, AND THOUGHT I COULD TAKE YOU ON. [He was smiling, but it was the most strained smile he’d made in a long time.] BUT YOU PUT ME IN MY PLACE, DIDN’T YOU, M’LORD? I WON’T DO IT AGAIN, I PROMISE... [He wanted to rip his soul out. It hurt too much. But he had to give his brother a story. At least this way, he could go to work with some explanation to his injury.]

**SF! Sans:** *24 hours ago Sans took the title of m’lord with great pride. But now it stung so bad that it felt like an insult. But he was trying to get things back to normal, right? Sans looked at the cartoonishly amateur, purposefully overdressed gauze he did on Papyrus’s rib. God, what a sad excuse of a big brother. What hurt the most was how Papyrus accepted all this. Sans supposed he should be proud that his brother was so well trained. But he wanted him to fight. To refuse to accept that this was all a one time thing.* “you don’t need to apologize this time, brother. but from now on you not allowed to be under the influence of any intoxicants in my presence. do i make myself clear?” *It made Sans sick how sober his voice sounded, as if last night meant nothing. He was hurting Papyrus. This was so wrong.* “you are not to do anything stupid today. you will go to your sentry, stand guard, alert and awake, and i expect to see you safe at home at the usual time.” *Sans stood up, the pain in his rib reduced to a dull, easy-to-ignore pain. He may not even need to explain anything to Alphys or the rest of the guard after all. But when Papyrus said _’BUT YOU PUT ME IN MY PLACE, DIDN’T YOU_ ’ he wanted to snap. He wanted to grab that stupid dog collar that Papyrus was still wearing and scream that Papyrus’s place was inside his rib cage. But if he lost his temper now, he would never make it to Alphys. The sexual tension in the air was suffocating. He had to leave. As Sans left the restroom, he stopped at the doorway.* “and one more thing. take off that dog collar, you are a monster, not a mongrel.” *And Sans’s soul cried,* _forgive me master! i will never stop loving you!_

**Swapfell!Papyrus:** [But the soul’s cry was left unheard. Papyrus nodded at the questions, muttering small "YES M’LORD"s, though his gaze still remained downward. He knew that the Sans before last night wouldn’t have let him get away with that, but even though they were going back to "normal," there was something that made Papyrus feel just the tiniest bit sure that he wouldn’t be kicked for going a little bit out of line for now. At this point though, even if he did get kicked, it wouldn’t do anything but further this hollow feeling that was starting to eat away at him.] OF COURSE, M’LORD. THANK YOU. [He’d wait until Sans left to take it off, then he’d just lay on the bathroom floor and weep. He’d take a shortcut to his station later. He wasn’t worried about being late. Really, he just felt so hollow. Like, when Sans had split their souls apart, he’d taken something important. Something, he felt, he’d only get back by being close to Sans. Of course, that could never happen again. Sans had said as such.]

**SF! Sans:** *Patrol duty, was, to put it blunt: hell. Even though Sans was the captain, and would boast about defeating Alphys in hand to hand combat to win the sacred honor at every chance he got, the pitiful truth was he only very recently became captain. And as such, his every move, every word, every thought, was read and criticized closely by everybody. And in all honesty, Sans was only really captain by name only. Alphys sensed Sans’s injury immediately, and questioned him. Everyone seemed to buy the story he thought up, but with great suspicion. As Sans predicted, they bombarded him with questions and leads to see if the monster he ambushed were connected to something bigger, possibly a human. The good news was that Sans spent so much time lying and memorizing his lies the best he could, that he was able to keep his mind off of his brother most of the day. The bad news was that they wasted the entire day looking for leads on this stupid lie. It would probably be weeks before they would finally decided to let the case go cold. Alphys discharged Sans early on account of his injury, another disgrace. Having a couple of hours to kill, and not wanting to be home alone and worry about his heartbroken master, he went to Muffet’s, and silently decided to clear his mind with a drink... or two... or 5...*

**Swapfell!Papyrus:** [Papyrus’s sentry duty was fairly boring, as usual. Well, it would have been if his thoughts had stopped returning to the night before and early that morning. His soul ached, yearning for what Papyrus could only describe as his missing half. He’d never felt more complete than when his soul had been bonded to Sans’s, and now, he would never know that feeling again. And it was that realization that was eating away at him from the inside. That crippling, hollow emptiness of being alone. It wouldn’t go away, no matter how much Papyrus tried to ignore it. Eventually, it became too much for him. He needed an escape. And what better place to escape to than Muffet’s? At least there, he... well... Nevermind. Any relaxation Papyrus had intended to get at Muffet’s was thrown out the window when, after taking a shortcut to it, he saw the one person he wanted to forget in a booth nursing a drink. He froze in place, actually, like a deer in headlights. He didn’t know what to do. Ignoring Sans wasn’t something he’d do normally, but he couldn’t face him like this. Not with his soul in as much pain as it was. He didn’t want to stare, but he couldn’t look away from his brother either.]

**SF! Sans:** *This was bad... Sans didn’t usually drink. Even after just one drink he knew he was getting himself in trouble. He always hated when Papyrus did it. But he was being manipulated by his own mind and soul. Now that he didn’t have the day’s lies to focus on everything slammed hard onto the truth. How was he going to go home and face Papyrus? Just those few bitter moments together that morning were hard enough. Sans was quiet at the bar. Even after his second and third drink the only way to know he was intoxicated was by studying his body language. Sans knew better than to open his mouth when all he could think about was touching his brother. Was Papyrus really just drunk last night? Was that all it took for him to snap like that? If he had been sober, then what? Sans had been particularly abusive yesterday. Seeing the leash had driven him over the edge. It mocked him and his position of power over his brother. He wanted to wear that leash. He wanted to sit at Papyrus’s feet like a dumb animal with his tongue lolling out of his mouth, begging for his affection. What an obscene thought! When the fifth drink arrived he decided it he probably had enough. He paid his tab, and stumbled out of his seat. Years of hard training was the only thing that kept him from falling flat on his face. His head felt light and spun wildly. It actually took him a moment to realize he was being watched. Without thinking, Sans rushed to the door. slamming against it and clutching the doorknob to support himself.* “papyrusss?” *His soul immediately jumped, clawing at his ribcage.*

**Swapfell!Papyrus:** M’LORD? [Papyrus flinched at the loud thud that accompanied Sans’s rush to the door, and his soul yearned to move closer to the smaller skeleton to check for injuries. It didn’t take him long at all to realize that his older brother was drunk. Very drunk. Honestly, Papyrus couldn’t remember the last time Sans had come home drunk. It had to have been months, at least. He looked at his brother, sockets dimming for a moment. The panic in his features probably passed off as fear for the other patrons. He had to act quickly. He couldn’t just pull Sans into a hug here, that would mess up everything, especially for Sans, but he couldn’t just let his older brother run around drunk as a dog. Papyrus’s sockets dimmed completely, then in a hopefully convincing tone, he shouted just over the din of the bar.] M’LORD, I SHOULD GET YOU HOME. YOU’RE DRUNK. I’M SORRY. [And then he made to look like he hesitated before taking a hold of one of Sans’s hands, then dragging Sans through a shortcut home. He let go of the hand he’d grabbed as soon as their feet touched the carpet of their living room. He didn’t look at Sans.] ...I’M SORRY, M’LORD.

**SF! Sans:** *The jump made Sans’s stomach jump, and for a minute he thought he was going to be sick. But he was able to keep his lunch once the two arrived home. As soon as Papyrus let go of him, Sans immediately sank to the floor and sat down. On one hand, he was excited to finally be alone with Papyrus. His brother was the only monster in this world who made him feel safe. But on the other hand, he remembered that things had to be "normal" again, and the small drunk skeleton was in no shape to be normal. But he had to try. For Paps, he had to try...* “myeh heh hehhhhh... urrrgh, how did you know i would be at muffet’s?” *Sans leaned against Papyrus’s leg and wrapped his arm around it for support. So much for normal...* “or... were you plotting to disobey me? don’t _*hic*_ lie to me.. that’s why you’re _really_ apologizing, in’nt it?” *Honestly, he didn’t care. He couldn’t blame him for wanting to get drunk, to forget... But he had to talk about something other than wanting to repeat last night.*

**Swapfell!Papyrus:** [Papyrus closed his sockets, trying to ignore the yearning pulses from his soul. He desperately wanted to fall to the floor next to Sans and pull him into an embrace. He wanted to forget the conversation they’d had that morning and just be brothers that didn’t have to feel horrible for being in the same room as each other. But as nice as that thought was, it was only a wish, and there were no blue fairies in the Underground. Papyrus sighed, still refusing to look at Sans.] I DIDN’T KNOW YOU’D BE AT THE BAR, M’LORD. I... I WAS GOING TO ASK MUFFET FOR SOME HONEY MUSTARD... [Yep. Back to "normal." Back to explanations and apologies.] I SAW YOU WERE DRUNK AND I... I DIDN’T WANT ANYONE TO SEE YOU LIKE THAT. IT COULD’VE... I DIDN’T WANT YOU TO GET HURT BECAUSE OF THAT... AND I’M SORRY THAT I TOOK YOU HOME WITHOUT ASKING. I DIDN’T WANT TO MESS UP OR... [He took a shaky breath. His soul ached.] ...OR ACCIDENTALLY LET ANYONE KNOW THAT I "HIT" YOU...

**SF! Sans:** *Sans let out a soft, hollow chuckle at hearing his brother grovel... How could someone who clearly could dominate him any time he wanted, be so pathetic? How could Papyrus call him "m’lord" when "pet" would work just as well?* “you are apologizing for all the wrong reasons, stupid. first of all, in case you didn’t notice I was leaving anyways. and honestly, i could care less if anyone knows you hit me. though it makes me suspicious that you would even consider talking about our personal lives to other monsters... secondly, don’t lie to me...” *Sans tugged on Papyrus’s pant leg as he carefully pulled himself back up onto his feet. He had to look like he was in control.* “you were going there to get drunk again, weren’t you?” *Sans looked at Papyrus and noticed his brother looking away* “look at me when i am talking to you.” *Sans felt a drunken rage bubbling inside of him. His soul was drunk, his mind was drunk, he was a mess...* “am i correct? were you planning on drinking? then what? were you going to come home and take advantage of me again?” *That last question was so unnecessary, his inebriated soul was taking control. And all Sans could do was struggle and fail to keep a simple promise to himself.* “answer me honestly! i can smell all of your pathetic little lies.”

**Swapfell!Papyrus:** [Papyrus did look at his brother. Somehow, he wasn’t as scared of Sans as he used to be. It was probably something about what had happened last night. He felt so hollow though, and the more Sans talked, the angrier everything made him. What would be the point if Sans punished him anymore? At least then they could touch again.] YOU WANT THE TRUTH? [Everything was just so painful. Would any more really matter?] I DON’T DRINK, SANS. I’M TOO YOUNG TO DRINK, REMEMBER? [His sockets grew dark.] I WAS TRYING TO GIVE YOU AN EXCUSE SO THAT I COULD TAKE THE BLAME. BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT I ALWAYS DO, ISN’T IT BROTHER? I TAKE THE BLAME FOR EVERYTHING YOU CAN THINK OF, AND THEN SUFFER THE CONSEQUENCES. YOU WANTED TO FORGET LAST NIGHT HAPPENED, AND I THOUGHT GIVING YOU A STORY WOULD SOMEHOW MAKE IT BETTER. BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? ALL IT DID WAS GET YOU DRUNK AND GET ME MORE DEPRESSED THAN I’VE BEEN IN YEARS! [He’d started trembling at some point, though whether it was from rage or insecurity, Papyrus wasn’t sure.]

**SF! Sans:** *Sans was left speechless for an awkward moment after the outburst. This was where he was supposed to punish his brother for his insolence, for his lies, for humiliating him. This was where he was supposed to be the responsible big brother. So why was he feeling so guilty? So stupid? This was why love was so ugly. It brought Papyrus so much pain. And yet all he was doing was pouring salt on his wounded heart and watch it fester.* “so if you never drink, then how am i supposed to know you aren’t going to turn on me again? what’s stopping you!?” *Sans stomped his feet in a fit of rage* “you already showed me that you could overpower me. and yet you are so eager to suddenly play the loyal servant again! and you think you’re the only one suffering here? who’s the one who’s--who’s-who’s got to explain his stupid hangover tomorrow?! and i never, _never_ said we needed to forget what happened last night...” *Sorrow replaced the rage in his voice* “just that... we just can’t do that again.” *He knew he was taunting his poor brother, egging him on. Waving a red cape in front of a mad bull. Sans didn’t care. He wanted it again. Even though he said they couldn’t do it again, it just seemed to make his brother so happy... It made Sans happy too.*

**Swapfell!Papyrus:** [Papyrus balled his fists at his side. At this point, he wasn’t even concerned about getting hurt. He was going to speak his mind for once. Even if hell barred the way. He couldn’t just stand idly and agree anymore.] OF COURSE I’D GO BACK TO PLAYING YOUR SERVANT! THAT’S WHAT YOU WANTED, RIGHT? YOU WANTED POWER OVER YOUR LITTLE BROTHER. THAT’S THE WHOLE REASON YOU KEPT HURTING ME AFTER THAT FIRST TIME, RIGHT? NO ONE TOOK YOU SERIOUSLY, SO YOU TOOK IT OUT ON ME UNTIL I BECAME YOUR PERFECT LITTLE PET. [He stared Sans down, his trembling growing in intensity the more he yelled. He couldn’t think strait. All of his pent up emotions from today were fueling the rage he was running on, and he couldn’t stop it.] I’M RIGHT, AREN’T I? AREN’T I!?

**SF! Sans:** *Fueled by lust, rage, guilt, and alcohol, Sans hit his breaking point. He wanted to be ’normal’ but failed miserably, he was just as sadistic as ever. He was getting off on Papyrus’s emotional energy, off of his anger, his hatred, his fearlessness. Sans grabbed Papyrus’s jacket and yanked the tall skeleton down to his knees so they were face to face. His alcohol stained breath flavored his lecture.* “dear brother, you are wrong... you are always so very, very _wrong_. everyone takes me seriously... and there’s a good reason.” *Sans snarled in a drunken fury.* “and another thing... i don’t want any power over you. i always knew you could overpower me with brute force anyways. last night was a clear demonstration of _that_.” *Sans spit the last word so that little flecks of spittle hit Papyrus on the face, he then grabbed the collar of his sweater and pulled him close, so close that the only thing in Papyrus’s field of vision were Sans’s two angry drunken sockets.* “all i expect from you is respect, and for you to continue worshiping me like the pathetic little worm that you are.” *He couldn’t stand it anymore... He had to touch him. Sans cupped his younger brother’s mandible with a gloved hand and gently stroked the outline of his jaw.* “now, are you ready to calm down and be a good freak for your beloved big brother?”

**Swapfell!Papyrus:** [Something about the way Sans spoke then, some undertone in his slightly slurred words that knocked Papyrus back into his senses. He listened to Sans’s lecture, the little white orbs in his sockets slowly returning to him. Respect? Papyrus held the highest respect for his brother. There was no question about it. Out of every monster in the underground, Sans was the one he held the most respect for, even more than Queen Toriel. The gentle touch of Sans’s gloved hand was the last thing Papyrus needed to fully calm down. He leaned into that touch, then looked into his brother’s eyes, almost apologetically. Afterwards, he gave him a slow blink in place of a nod.] I... I’LL BE GOOD, M’LORD. I PROMISE...

**SF! Sans:** *At hearing Papyrus's promise he removed his hand and lightly patted the side of his brother’s head, like a master praising a dog.* “that's a good boy.” *Sans then exchanged his drunken posture for a more straight-laced one: shoulders back, chest out, feet together, and his arms inquisitively crossed.* “now once again papy, i'm sure you understand we can't repeat last night. but clearly we both need to discuss it. i'm a drunken mess, and you're being disrespectful. we can't have that, now can we?” *But he wanted to repeat last night. He wanted to repeat it every night for the rest of his miserable existence. How in stars name was he going to keep his own word?* “now, i want to ask you some questions. not to humiliate you, but so we can discuss what needs to be discussed and move on. i don't want any apologies. what happened, happened. i just want an explanation, answers. now tell me... why did you do it papyrus? why did you snap on me, tie me up, and... touch my soul?” *God... he hoped Papyrus wouldn't pick up on how hungry he sounded when he said _'touch my soul'_ *

**Swapfell!Papyrus:** [Papyrus nodded as Sans explained himself. He understood what his brother meant. It had been nice when it happened, but as beautiful as it was, they needed closure. They needed closure, and then to go back to what they'd been before, as miserable as that sounded. He didn't want to go back, but what other choice did they have? They couldn't repeat last night. Eventually someone would notice the change in one of them, possibly Sans, and start asking questions. And Sans would take the fall. Because he was the older brother. Because he was the captain of the royal guard. Papyrus could only imagine the ridicule Sans would get if word got out that he'd shared a bed and soul with his own brother, especially if they knew Sans had been dominated by his younger brother. Papyrus couldn't allow that. He sighed, recounting his thoughts from last night.] FOR THE PAST TWO YEARS, I'D BEEN TRYING TO DO LITTLE THINGS TO IMPRESS YOU, HOPING THAT MAYBE ONE OF THOSE DAYS, YOU'D SAY IT... AND LAST NIGHT, I REMEMBER... YOU ASKED ME IF THAT "THERAPY" WAS WORKING... AND I REALIZED THAT NOTHING I'D BEEN DOING FOR THE PAST TWO YEARS HAD DONE ANYTHING TO HELP. AND I SNAPPED BECAUSE I REALIZED THAT I COULDN'T PLEASE YOU NO MATTER WHAT I DID. SO, I THOUGHT... IF I COULDN'T MAKE YOU SAY IT WILLINGLY... I'D MAKE YOU FEEL GOOD AND MAYBE THEN... BUT YOU WERE JUST SO STUBBORN... ...AND I DIDN'T WANT TO HURT YOU, BUT YOU STARTED BEGGING FOR ME TO BREAK YOU, AND I COULDN'T SAY NO... [He fell silent, not sure what else to say.]

**SF! Sans:** *But Papyrus DID please Sans. Last night he pleased him more than he had ever pleased him in all his years. What Papyrus didn't know is that Sans took all the blame for what happened. Papyrus just wanted his big brother to say three simple words to him. And because of his hatred for softness and love, the emotional rejection festered and developed into lust. Sans, who was usually very decisive, was at a loss. Sure, they could try to go back to being just brothers. But last night would sit there, gnawing at each brother whenever the two were together. Would time eventually help them move on? Or would Sans throw caution to the wind and tell Papyrus the whole truth; the truth that was shared through their soul bond. It made lying to Papyrus that much harder, more pointless.* “dear sweet brother... have i expressed any resentment toward you for any of the physical damage you inflicted? i know why you did what you did. i was there, i know i begged you repeatedly to break my bones.” *And he wanted Papyrus to break them again, break every bone in his pathetic body while squeezing his soul into dust.* “papyrus... you saw into my mind. you saw my very real naked thoughts. you know all my ugly secrets. and I have a lot of them... don't you have any questions for me? i'm sure you have quite a bit on your mind right now...” *He unfolded his arms and stroked his brother’s cheek again. How was he going to prevent last night from happening again? He was so drunk and is soul ached so bad.*

**Swapfell!Papyrus:** [Papyrus leaned into the touch again, a reflex at this point. Sans was right. He hadn't lashed out at Papyrus for breaking those bones. Papyrus did know all his brother's secrets. He knew what Sans did in the bathroom or in his bedroom. He knew about the masochist and submissive hidden behind the sadist and the dominant. But even knowing all of this, there was really only one question he wanted an answer to. He blinked up at his brother, moving a hand over his rib cage, just above the spot his soul resided. Tears threatened to form in his sockets.] ...WHY DOES IT HAVE TO HURT SO MUCH?

**SF! Sans:** *That wasn't the question Sans was expecting. But lucky for Papyrus he knew the answer. He couldn't stand it anymore. After the soul bond... After really feeling all of his brother’s pain... All the suffering Sans tried to protect him from by trying to numb him... Just because he knew the answer, didn't mean the question didn't hit him deep. Even though he knew he shouldn't, Sans wrapped his arms around his brother and rested his chin on his clavicle, mouth close to his temporal so he could whisper.* “papy... it always hurts. it hurts because life is pain. love is pain... it just... always hurts. why do you think i treat you the way i do? i kept thinking: maybe i could numb you. if you couldn't feel at all... then maybe you wouldn't have to get hurt. but i was wrong, wasn't i? i wanted to protect you, but the soul burns simply because it's alive, paps.” *Sans pulled back, just enough so he could look at all the pain he created on his brother’s face. How could he kill that pain? Did he have to slap it off or kiss it away? Papyrus... Master...* “is that the only question you have for me?”

**Swapfell!Papyrus:** [He practically melted into Sans's arms, involuntarily wrapping his around the other respectively. His soul rejoiced for being so close, and pulsed within his rib cage, as if calling for its other half. It yearned to be as close as they'd been last night, but Papyrus resisted the urge to spring on Sans. He knew they couldn't do that again, as hard as it was to accept that. He simply hung his head, trembling as he sobbed. He felt safe in Sans's arms. That, at the very least, was something he hoped they could keep doing. The occasional hug. Papyrus shifted his gaze back to to Sans when the other pulled away from it, tear streaks decorating his bones. He had so many questions, but he knew all of the answers, and he didn't like any of them. Finally, he spoke.] ...CAN I ASK FOR SOMETHING?

**SF! Sans:** *Sans was drunk... He was so drunk. But he wanted this to happen, didn't he? He wanted to be clumsy, to lie to himself, to break his promise. He was touching Papyrus. He was non verbally tempting him with something he shouldn't be giving him. They were too close, their souls were too close. Close enough to where he could feel, almost hear Papyrus's soul opening up. Begging to be seen, heard, touched, smelled, tasted... And his soul begged the same. Sans really was a masochist. He liked this pain. The two brothers were like two vicious dogs on opposite sides tugging at an ever weakening tether. If he kept pulling like this... something was going to break. But... he didn't care anymore. He just wanted to feel good again... It was so pathetic, he couldn't even make it one day without Papyrus.* “depends...” *Sans teased, smiling and wiping a tear from Papyrus's socket... stars, he could never get sick of doing that.* “what are you asking for?”

**Swapfell!Papyrus:** [Once again, Papyrus leaned into Sans's touch. It seemed to be a habit of his. Well, the one touching him was the only one he wanted to be touched by, so it made sense. Sans was one of the few safe places Papyrus had, and certainly the only live one. If he was going to lean into anyone's touch, it was Sans's.] ...JUST ONE LAST KISS. THAT'S ALL I WANT. [That was a lie, and both of them probably knew it. He wanted so much more than just one kiss. Maybe one hundred? No, still not enough. Not even one lifetime's worth of kisses could satisfy him. His desire wasn't just limited to kisses, either. Out of everything he wanted, the strongest request, one burning in his soul, was to feel Sans's soul become one with his again. He wanted to feel complete again. But he knew it couldn't happen, so he limited it to something innocent.]

**SF! Sans:** _just one kiss... it's just one kiss_ *Sans soul purred, even though it knew the truth. Everyone knew the truth. You would have to be an idiot to know that it wasn't just one kiss. But stars... just looking at his desperate, eager expression... Sans knew resistance was damn near impossible. Sans leaned in until bliss was just a few millimeters away... He could smell Papyrus's soul... The smell of magic and sins, the sweetness of honey and tang of mustard... Just a little bit further and he could be home... But he couldn't. With all of his willpower, Sans pulled away.* “i...” *He began, not sure where to go. Sans was terrified. Papyrus was young, naive... Maybe he could do better. Find a lover who would treat him right. Someone who wouldn't torment him and abuse him physically, verbally, emotionally... sexually.* “are you sure?” *It was meant to sound concerned, but instead it sounded like he was teasing him.* “are you really sure you want that? don't you think there are better monsters? ones you can love in public?” *Sans didn't want to be alone... But he just wanted Papyrus to be happy.*

**Swapfell!Papyrus:** [Papyrus didn't move. He so desperately wanted to steal that kiss from his brother, to feel their teeth and maybe even tongues mingle around the scent of honey mustard and alcohol. But he didn't. He waited for Sans to come to him. Apparently, that had been a mistake. _’are you sure?’ _Was he sure? If he'd been asked two years ago, he might have hesitated, but two years was a long time to wait for someone. He remembered a time where he tried searching for someone else, but that had ended up getting more miserable than when he'd started. There wasn't anyone in the Underground he wanted to be with more than the monster in front of him, and he didn't care that they could only love each other in private. Secret love was something he could cherish even more than the whole thing.] THERE'S NO ONE I COULD POSSIBLY LOVE MORE THAN YOU, SANS. AND I DON'T CARE IF I HAVE TO KEEP THAT A SECRET FROM THE UNDERGROUND. YOU TOOK SOMETHING FROM ME LAST NIGHT, SANS... BUT I'D LIKE YOU TO KEEP IT.__

__**SF! Sans:** *Sans let out a soft, chuckle.* “i 'took' something from you?” *He placed his hands on Papyrus's clavicles.* “tell me pap, how does someone who is tied to his own bed able to take anything?” *He pushed his brother, it didn't take much pressure for the younger brother to be laying face up on the carpeted floor, Sans on top, pinning the other down. Did he mention that he loved looking down on his brother? While he didn't resent Papyrus for his height, Sans always felt like being smaller than his baby brother was something of a disgrace. How could someone over a foot shorter be looked up upon and admired? And there was something about Papyrus at that angle... It reminded Sans of just how young and innocent the skeleton was. It reminded him why he made it his life's purpose to protect him. There was no one else Sans loved. No one else in this life that he wanted.* “tell me papyrus, what can someone who's tied up possibly take?” *Before he realized he longed for his brother, he never even considered dating, and Sans had absolutely no interest in love. In fact, the only monster he would ever let get even remotely close was his brother. And right now, with their lustful teeth too close and the heat of their souls warming each other's bones, he wanted Papyrus more than ever.*_ _

__**Swapfell!Papyrus:** [Laying there, looking up at his brother while Sans pinned him to the floor, Papyrus almost involuntarily voiced a small mew. He didn't even notice, though. He was too distracted with the almost painful drumming of his soul in his rib cage. The soul roared in its yearnings and clawed at its confines like a wild animal. The close proximity to Sans only strengthened those desperate attempts by the soul. Even beyond the strong scent of alcohol on him, Papyrus could still smell his brother's scent. So familiar and enticing... He hoped his brother didn't notice the slight blush he felt rising in his cheekbones.] I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO CALL IT... BUT IT FEELS LIKE... A LIGHT. SOME KIND OF LIGHT THAT I DIDN'T KNOW I HAD UNTIL YOU TOOK IT... AND I FEEL SO EMPTY NOW... BUT IF YOU TOOK THAT LIGHT... THEN MAYBE IF YOU KEEP IT, THEN YOU'LL FEEL GOOD?_ _

__**SF! Sans:** *He couldn't stand it anymore... Talking was pointless, he knew what Papyrus wanted. That light was their souls. And Sans didn't take it, because at that moment he felt empty too. He just never realized what emptiness felt like until last night. Until he felt full for the first time.* “i don't know what you're talking about paps.” *Sans lied.* “i didn't take anything.” *That subtle color on the bones of his brother’s face, he wanted more of that color. There was no point denying it to himself anymore: Sans was going to make love to his brother again tonight. Now that he had a taste, he needed that light, that emotional fire, more than ever. But that didn't mean he wasn't going to stop tormenting and teasing Papyrus, pushing him to his limits. Instead of kissing him, he grabbed the bottom of Papyrus's orange sweater and pulled it up to his neck. So beautiful... Sans stared lovingly at his exposed treasure, shimmering and glistening for him like a little star.*” you still haven't fixed that horrible patch up i did on your rib,” *Sans teased, his eyes obviously not focused on the gauze.* “i want you to demonstrate your gauzing technique on yourself for me.” *Sans traced his phalanges over Papyrus’s non broken ribs... he wanted more of those delicious desperate sounds Papyrus made.*_ _


	9. A shiver

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Freaking!!! Over 2,000 hits!? You people are insane! Thank you so much! Myself and Fifi love you all! Enjoy this next installment. More secrets. Yay!  
> ~Flame

**Swapfell!Papyrus:** [The younger skeleton couldn't help but take in a breath as a shiver ran the length of his spine. What was his brother doing? This wasn't... He'd asked for a kiss, not... How were they supposed to keep their agreement if... Each thought was shut down before they could be completed. Papyrus was not against Sans's actions in the slightest. His now-exposed soul glowed brightly in its confinement, the red-orange hue shining for the one it sought to merge with. His breath became a little uneasy as Sans trailed his phalanges over his ribs. Stars, they were pretty sensitive... Nevertheless, he reached for the gauze around his broken rib, aware of his brother's movements and trying to keep from disrupting them, then carefully started unraveling the material.]

 **SF! Sans:** "wait a second" *Sans growled, putting his hand on the larger hand at work on the fracture, stopping the process.* "not here... the bathroom." *The small sadist then got off of his toy. Still clutching his hand, he pulled Papyrus onto his feet, letting his sweater fall and once again hide his treasure, and began to lead him upstairs. Sans knew this was unnecessary, there was enough material on that rib to practically treat every bone on the tall skeleton’s body. The restroom, like the bedroom, represented a private, intimate place. He wanted that atmosphere, because that's how sans saw this relationship. It was something private. This love was a secret he didn't want to share with anyone else. He wanted Papyrus and his exquisite soul all to himself. The creaking of each step and the feeling of his brother’s hand filled the small guard captain’s soul with a sense of passionate urgency. Once they reached the dark bathroom, Sans let Papyrus go and sat on the edge of the bathtub, legs crossed, full attention on his Papyrus.* "remove your shirt and treat your injury like you did mine... then after you are done..." *Sans paused as he narrowed his piercing gaze and blue soul jumped impatiently.* "... i want you to kiss me." *He smiled.*

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** [Papyrus blinked up at Sans, confusion filling his face for a moment. Of course he stopped when Sans told him to. Why wouldn't he? ...The bathroom? They were moving to the bathroom... A memory flashed in his sockets. Well, a memory of a memory. Sans's desperate moans, the shower running behind him, one hand around his cervical vertebrae, the other clawing at his soul... As Papyrus was helped to his feet and guided up the stairs, the only thing he could think of was how significant going to the bathroom sounded, especially after that little... whatever that just was. His ribs still tingled from where Sans had touched him, a lingering memory of what could have happened, and what his mind was telling him, and his soul was hoping for, was going to continue to happen once they made it to the bathroom. He thought it a little odd that Sans hadn't turned on the light as they entered, but he didn't comment on it. There was a night light plugged into the wall near the sink, and its dull light was enough to make out the various objects in the room. Papyrus knelt down in front of Sans and had already shrugged off his jacket by the time Sans's pause ended. Of course, the request made him freeze for a moment. Papyrus looked at Sans, trying to see if this was all part of some sick joke. But that smile looked too genuine to be a lie. Maybe a tease or a taunt, but definitely not a lie. His soul might have skipped a pulse. Papyrus nodded, then quickly removed his sweater before going back to what he'd started to do downstairs.]

 **SF! Sans:** *Sans couldn't resist a rare twinge of genuine pride as he watched the other work. Perhaps he wasn't the worst brother. After all, strict discipline along with a fear of consequence and the desire to please his big brother had given Papyrus a deep motivation to excel. Sans wouldn't have to worry about Papyrus lacking skill if he wasn't there. If there was something that Sans enjoyed aside from winning, it was the delicate displays of grace in simple tasks. When you can't help but notice and admire every little movement. And it did seem like they weren't going to repeat last night. not identically anyways... Papyrus was not naturally dominant against him, and even when he was in control, Sans had to beg him for any sort of pain. But he just had to keep pushing. Keep prodding. Always, always challenging the youth to disobey. It was like a game to Sans. But either way, it seemed like he was going to win tonight. He stood up from the tub and walked over.* "it's too dark to see clearly, don't stop working, i'm going to get a closer look." *But instead of kneeling down, he slowly started walking in tight circles around Papyrus, his gaze never leaving Papyrus as he studied every angle of him, admiring the way the shadows in his ribs shivered when Sans stepped behind him. He adored the way his brother was when he was nervous. Papyrus was close to finished by the time Sans completed his vulture circle around him, and with arms neatly folded behind his back, Sans leaned over and gave the freshly dressed rib a close inspection. Perfect... just like him. "now, before i let you kiss me..." *Sans looked up! Their faces once again dangerously close.* "you need to ask me just right. beg for it."

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** [As Papyrus redressed his rib, he couldn't help but shiver. Somehow, the pressure of dressing this injury was three times as severe. But why? Was it because Sans was watching him? He couldn't be sure. Either way, he did his best, and in the end, Sans didn't seem disappointed by his work. The next request though... It made Papyrus want to start blushing again, and some small amount of blush did return. Begging. Like what Sans had done last night. He could do that. He could definitely do that for his brother.] PLEASE, M'LORD. PLEASE LET ME KISS YOU. I'LL BE GOOD, I PROMISE.

 **SF! Sans:** *Pathetic... How pathetic could Papyrus be? Or maybe he was so conflicted. After all, Sans had told his ever obedient little brother they were not going to bond again. But stars... he couldn't take much more of teasing. Sans got closer, bringing his forehead up against his adoring prey.* "not good enough. are you sure this is what you want?" *Sans hissed, sliding his hands up Papyrus's rib cage.*

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** [Papyrus took in a shuddered breath, his soul pulsing wildly at the touch. It wanted more. So much more. He didn't want just a kiss. He wanted to be selfish. He wanted to feel complete again. He just wanted Sans.] YES! YES, I'M SURE, M'LORD! PLEASE! PLEASE, I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! I WANT TO FEEL FULL AGAIN! I DON'T WANT TO BE EMPTY ANYMORE. PLEASE, I... I... [He started trembling. He'd said too much. He hadn't meant to say that much. Would he be punished again?]

 **SF! Sans:** *Sans screwed his face into a sneer, hiding a nervous gulp. He slid his hands up until he found the gap in Papyrus's ribs closest to his soul. He carefully curled his phalanges through the spaces and slid the digits along the top of the rib until Papyrus's soul was all but touching the very tips of Sans’s gloved fingers. Sans could pick up hints of memories and thoughts. It was all just desperation and desire... This was nothing short of torture. Yet Sans wondered who it hurt more, as he ground his teeth and growled, so much more than ready to pounce.* "better. but i still have some doubts papy... you aren't telling me everything. you aren't begging with all your soul. are you going to convince me you want this one last kiss or not?!"

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** [It took everything he had to stay still. Even the slightest shift forward would allow his soul to be touched, and he wasn't going to force it. He couldn't force it. That wasn't the point. His soul throbbed painfully, calling the foreign bones with its siren song, and Papyrus sang one of his own.] PLEASE, SANS, I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! I WANT TO BE CLOSE TO YOU AGAIN! I WANT YOU TO DRAG ALL OF MY MEMORIES OUT OF MY SINFUL SOUL! I WANT TO BE WHOLE AGAIN! I'D DO ANYTHING TO FEEL WHOLE AGAIN! PLEASE, SANS! LET ME BE WHOLE AGAIN!

 **SF! Sans:** *No wonder Papyrus was able to overpower him the night before. Sans was so weak. Hearing his lover call to him so desperately, he just wanted more. Unlike Sans, Papyrus spoke directly for and from his soul. He didn't hide its contents from Sans. Papyrus would habitually tear the little orange and red heart open and offer its beautiful contents to him, reassuring his own soul wasn't alone. What did Sans do to deserve such pure and perfect master? Maybe if he were sober, he could have lasted longer.* "i just don't get it paps, why don't you just take me? you had no problem doing so yesterday. i can't believe this is the same skeleton who tied me up and blatantly disobeyed my commands last night..." *No... No, this wasn't clear enough. Sans felt like if he didn't get his brother’s mouth that very instant, he was going to die.* "if you want it, take it." *Sans removed one of his hands and gently ran the pointed tips of his gloved digits along the back of Papyrus's occipital. Sans’s soul was screaming at him to pull Papyrus into a deep kiss and never let go.* "...master"

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** [The younger brother looked to the older, his desperation mingling with a newfound confusion. Last night had been different. That dominant side of him came out of a desperate attempt to be loved and accepted. It was like a survival instinct, a last resort. But now, he didn't feel like it was necessary. Sans was still his lord, after all. He shouldn't... "take it." The orbs in his sockets started to flicker. He was torn. That was an invitation, right? Sans wanted this to happen like that, right? Honestly, he was nervous. Being the dominant... well, it was a lot better than being the submissive one. That one word, "master," was all he needed to give himself that final push. Papyrus's sockets dimmed completely, and with one arm, he captured Sans in an embrace, pulling him closer and finally closing the agonizingly short distance between them. His teeth pressed against the other's. At the same time, the movements might have moved Sans's hand closer to his soul.]

 **SF! Sans:** *Sans sunk into his brother’s embrace the same way one would sink into a nice warm bath after a hard day. He couldn't resist closing his eyes and letting out a pleased growl when he finally felt the satisfying tap of teeth on teeth. And stars, it was perfect, the hand on the back of Papyrus's head trailed downward, tickling the larger skeleton’s vertebrae and basking in all the reactions and sweet sounds it was stirring. He swore he could hear something begging for them to not let go. But the two skeleton’s mouths were too busy. Was it Papyrus's frightened and desperate soul? That delicious soul that felt so perfect in their hands. There was so much more Sans wanted to do with it. He wanted to play with it, he wanted to dive his fingers into it and feel the inside of it. He wanted to taste every inch of it. He didn't just want to explore his master’s soul, but his body too. His lower ribs and spine... The delicate dip of his iliac, his tailbone... Just thinking about them made caused his hand to trail lower. He wanted to talk. He wanted to keep playing games with his brother. Maybe it was the close proximity to the doubt in Papyrus's soul, but Sans also grew fearful that once the kiss ended that he would never be able to experience this feeling of relief ever again... So instead, he just kept moving his hand lower on his brother’s naked back, caressing his spine, and tracing the outline of his pelvis over Papyrus's pants. But through it all, Sans was still the dominant. He was the final word on what Papyrus could and couldn't do.... even though he didn't want it to be like that when it came to this special time. Perhaps the red orange gem could give him some answers. And with that thought, Sans’s small hand on Papyrus's slipped through his ribs and stroked the magic heart shaped light inside.*

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** [Every touch, every loving caress of Sans's phalanges over his bones drew Papyrus deeper and deeper into his longing. It felt so nice to be touched like this, especially from Sans, and the older was rewarded with small shivers and gasps and the occasional whimper. He would do anything to stay like this, wrapped in this mutual embrace, teeth meshing together while his soul glowed brightly in his rib cage. He didn't want it to end. And as Sans's hand trailed lower and lower, Papyrus found himself pressing up against his brother, letting the force behind their kiss strengthen. They wouldn't have to stop if they never broke from the kiss, right? It wasn’t like they needed to breathe. And then, his soul finally got what it wanted. The touch the soul received made the little heart pulse happily, though the memory shared was, unfortunately, one Papyrus wished to forget.  
_It wasn't just a memory. It was a nightmare. Agonizingly slow steps through the cold of Snowdin. No other monsters around. No sound at all besides the soft crunch of snow underfoot. Then, it all falls silent, and one color stands out among the freshly fallen snow. That familiar scarf that almost never left Sans's neck..._  
His eyes widened, the memory ending, and Papyrus froze, caught somewhere in between wanting to shove Sans away and wanting to just hold him tighter and cry.]

 **SF! Sans:** *What was that? Sans pulled his hand out of Papyrus's ribcage, much to the despair of his own soul. And this vision... It seemed like a nightmare, but he never saw dreams before. Was this something new or?... He had to take action. Regardless of what it was, it rubbed the small skeleton the wrong way on so many different levels. The shared nightmare just hit too close to home with Sans’s own personal worries. And there was something eerie about it. This wouldn't be the last kiss anyway. Sans knew that, and he was sure deep down Papyrus knew that too. He hesitated for a moment, taking one final drink of his brother’s teeth, and carefully broke the kiss and looked at his brother with a shocked expression that mirrored the other’s.* "i know you worry about me... your soul didn't need to show me that. besides, it was just a bad dream." *Sans kissed Papyrus's forehead in an attempt to comfort him.* "whatever it was, it doesn't matter. i'm here right now paps... right where you want me, right? you shouldn't let silly worries over things that you have no control over get in the way of what you want, and your happiness." *Sans gave his younger brother a few more kisses. Light, teasing kisses by his eye socket, jaw, and the side of his skull. But Sans couldn't shake the horrible feeling that his days were quickly coming to a close. Not that he would ever admit that to Papyrus.* "what i would really like is to make happy memories for you. happy memories make for happy dreams, and i only want to milk the sweetest magic from that soul of yours. you may be my master, but you still must respect my order, and I forbid you to worry about me." *Sans didn't care if he had to see himself die again.* "now, do you think you are ready to let me try touching your soul again?"

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** ["just a bad dream..." Right. Of course. Nothing else... Just a dream... Just a dream... The kisses seemed to calm Papyrus down a little, at least enough to listen to Sans and actually hear what the other was saying rather than reject it out of blind fear. Happy memories. That sounded nice. There was only so many happy memories Papyrus had of him and his brother, and most of them were from before Sans joined the guard. It was probably because of the shift in his attitude after joining that made Papyrus grow as concerned as he did. They'd been so close before, and Sans had grown so distant and violent afterwards. At first, he'd thought his older brother was being pressured by the higher-ups, but one way or another, he realized that it was all Sans, and the desperation to bring Sans back to what they'd used to be drove Papyrus to become what he was now. A servant willing to do anything his brother asked of him. He'd try not to worry, for Sans's sake. He nodded slowly.] I THINK I'M OK NOW. ...THANK YOU, BROTHER. [He leaned close to peck his teeth against his brother's zygomatic. He couldn't help himself. Sans had said take what he wanted.]

 **SF! Sans:** *Ever diligent in his subservience... Yet Sans knew his brother’s words were only to appease him. That was the problem with his training. He taught Papyrus how to lie. Never deliberately, or possibly even consciously, but Sans knew his younger brother would hide things if it meant dissatisfying or disobeying his lord brother. But Sans wanted the truth from his brother, even if it was an ugly, dark, twisted truth. Sans rewarded to Papyrus's reserved display of affection with a skeleton kiss on Papyrus's maxilla, close enough to his teeth but still trying to keep his word that the kiss they just broke was the last. The key word here being trying.* "as much as i want to believe you really are okay, you're going to have to prove it to me, little brother. i haven't done any formal research yet, but i have reason to believe our memory sharing through our souls is not normal. there may be a high likelihood that it's only related to us." *Sans cupped the tall skeleton’s chin to focus his attention.* "as painful as this could potentially be... we must investigate further. i'm not an idiot. i know you hide things from me. but clearly your soul wants to be good. so brother, i order you to bring out your soul and present it to me. i need to,'drag all your sinful memories out' like you requested earlier. you need to prove to me that you're ok."

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** [He let his sockets close for a bit, almost wincing when Sans's teeth met his maxilla. He'd forgotten about the cut Sans had left in the bone last night. It still stung a little. He wasn't too concerned with it though. He was more concerned with what Sans was saying. They definitely had a unique bond. It didn't take his brother telling him about it for him to realize that. Still, he payed close attention while the other spoke, involuntarily leaning into his brother's touch. Part of him was worried about them investigating this further. He didn't quite know how they'd do that. At the same time, for that exact same reason, he was excited about it. That unknown factor was as enticing as it was scary. Papyrus nodded to Sans, taking a breath before he reached into his rib cage and took his glowing life force from it. He then wordlessly held it out to Sans, palm up.]

 **SF! Sans:** *The small red and black skeleton admired the way his brother was so pure but so damaged at the same time. Up close, Sans could really observe the physical effects of his abuse over the years. Papyrus's sternum, skull, clavicle, and rib bones were all lined with scars of varying thickness and length. Some were just shallow chips in the bone, but what was really noticeable was how many fractures decorated Papyrus. It was no wonder he was skilled at patching up wounds. And now that the priceless shivering soul was being presented, Sans saw that Papyrus's so called 'pure' soul was disfigured too. He could see the wounds from last night: the bites, the scratches, and the lash, which left an obvious diagonal dotted-line across its surface from where it had been whipped. And Sure, Sans had scars too... But they were almost all from guard training and combat. Years and years of damage gave heartbreaking character to Sans's 'master'. It was moments like that where Sans wished his brother would snap more often and punish Sans for his sins. In the meantime, Sans wanted to make Papyrus happy, therefore making himself happy, and Sans found himself more than happy to gaze lovingly into his tormented brother’s scarred sockets, lean his head into the red orange heart, and praise his young master’s obedience with a* "that's my good boy..." *Sans then stuck out his tongue and lapped experimentally at the valley of the heart shaped light. Hmm, much better than lasagna.*

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** [That soft blush that had been decorating Papyrus's features burned brighter, shading his bones with a deep red, accompanied by a small moan from the younger skeleton. That warm tongue felt so nice... The memory that was drawn from the soul was a lot like the first few memories Sans had shown him last night.  
_Papyrus was in his room, a pillow being held fiercely between his legs and arms. He was biting into it, trying to keep quiet while one of his hands massaged his soul. Then he let go of the pillow, bringing the soul close to his mouth. His half-lidded gaze stared ahead, not focused on anything in particular. Then, just before he started licking his soul, he voiced a single word for the empty air. "...M'LORD..."_  
And then it faded, and the real Papyrus's gaze, hazy as it was, fell to his brother with all of the love and lust he felt for Sans plastered on his features.]

 **SF! Sans:** *Better. Not particularly joyful, but stars... What an improvement! When Papyrus's memory finished flashing through Sans's mind, he let out a lustful sigh. After all, the memory had an ability to transfer the emotions held in it. It took a great deal of willpower to not immediately taste his brother’s soul again.* "interesting... your soul appears to have a desire to please, just like you." *Sans spoke more like this was a science experiment rather than a lovemaking session, despite the fact that the captain was resisting the urge to shove Papyrus to the floor, lay on top of him, and kiss him as deeply as possible with their souls pressed so firmly together they would never be able to be separated ever again. Without warning, Sans then reached into his own ribcage and pulled his heart out.* "here" *He placed the soul directly in front his brother’s mandible.* "let's see what you taste."

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** [Of course his soul would want to please Sans. Throughout the years, Papyrus had stayed true to his soul. He'd always wanted Sans to be happy, so it made sense that his soul would want to please the one person he wanted to make happy. Papyrus's gaze fell to Sans's now-exposed soul. That beautiful, two-toned soul... Sans's life force, packaged in a heart that made Papyrus's soul ache with longing. He exchanged a quick glance with Sans, giving his brother a slow blink in place of a nod, then allowed his tongue to trail over the red and blue. It tasted so much better than honey mustard.]

 **SF! Sans:** *Sans heard 2 gasps. One out of pleasure at the sensation of magic on magic, and another from a memory.  
_A younger Sans fell to the snowy ground. He had a look of sheer horror on his face. Clutched in his grasp was a soul. Not his soul, not a monster’s soul either. There was blood everywhere. A grim scene of red on white.* "You did the right thing, sentry." *A gruff female voice could be heard saying. "Now let’s bring the soul to the queen and..." "the right thing?! it was just a kid! captain... i...i killed them" "Sans... down here, it's kill or be killed. What have i taught you?" "mercy and love are privileges for the dead."_  
*The memory stopped.*

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** [For a brief moment, Papyrus hadn't just seen that memory. He'd lived it. He could feel the blood on his hands, the chill of the Snowdin air on his bones... the fear and guilt of having just murdered a child. Though he hadn't seen the child, Papyrus could only imagine how much that had hurt Sans. Judging from the pitch of his voice, this was early in his sentry job. Papyrus would have still been in the single digits in terms of age. _"mercy and love are privileges for the dead."_ What kind of philosophy was that!? Surely that wasn't the be all end all rule! Surely there had to be exceptions! Papyrus glanced up at his brother again, his gaze a mixture of concern, love, and... something else... Then, without a word, Papyrus slowly moved one of his hands towards one of Sans's, seeking to hold it, like a silent gesture of comfort. As if doing that would take away all of the pain and suffering Sans had had to endure over the years...]

 **SF! Sans:** _"mercy and love are privileges for the dead"_ *Sans thought it was stupid at first too. But the more it got drilled in, the more he saw it proven over and over and over again. When the human showed him mercy... God... It killed every ounce of love within his bones. Or so he thought. He felt his brother’s hands touch his. A cue to grab it. Which Sans did with uncharacteristic eagerness and desperation. He felt so weak in that moment. He just wanted to touch the only soul who understood him. Who forgave him. Yet every time he would touch his soul it was like a cruel game of memory Russian roulette. He just wanted to feel that tongue again. Was he being punished for being a pervert? For seeking love while still being alive?* "why would i show you that? this isn't the time or place to share something so irrelevant. you didn't need to see that, papyrus." *Sans's grip on Papyrus's hand betrayed his true emotions. He was shivering and holding his brother for dear life, like Papyrus could disappear right at that moment.*

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** [Papyrus was more than willing to grip Sans's hand tighter, reminding him that he wasn't alone. That the memory wasn't just his burden to bear anymore. His brother would bear it with him.] MAYBE IT'S LIKE MY SOUL... IT JUST WANTED ME TO UNDERSTAND... [That's what this was, right? Their souls trying to communicate a thought to the other. _"I worry about you." "I'm scared of losing you."_ And last night was _"I love you."_ He glanced down at Sans's soul again. He wanted to make it better.] ...CAN I TRY AGAIN, SANS?

 **SF! Sans:** _"mercy and love are privileges for the dead"_ *Did it always have to be that way? Just because he had to see the life fade out of a child's eyes... And all that blood... Humans certainly had a strange way of dying... He thanked his soul for not showing Papyrus the remains. And besides, Papyrus showed mercy all the time, and he was still just as alive as ever.* _"try again?"_ *Sans thought for a moment about how good it felt. The eagerness of Papyrus's glowing tongue on the core of his very being. The way his flushed face looked at him with such an erotic eager expression, it sent a shiver down his spine just thinking about it. Papyrus wanted to understand. He always wanted to understand. He had been so curious about Sans for as long as he could remember. And Sans had just been hiding.* "i... i don't know if i can take much more of this. i've done bad things. things you won't like. my soul is an ugly place." *He gripped Papyrus's hand tighter. He was ready to finally let his brother understand.* "try again."

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** [If he could share his brother's pain, if he could help him at all, Papyrus would be happy. He knew Sans kept secrets, that much was obvious. But even so, it wasn't good to keep secrets, especially from the ones closest to you. Papyrus felt they were close. They were definitely closer than they had been two days ago, anyway. Stars, everything was happening so fast. To think that two days ago, they were still playing servant and lord. The obedient servant, ready to do whatever his lord requested, and the sadistic lord, ready to break his servant into pieces to spark some semblance of pleasure. Now here they were, on the floor of their bathroom, surrounded by a darkness broken only by a meager night light and the glow of their souls. Papyrus's top half was bare, as well. His sweater and jacket had been shed. The realization of exposure sent a shiver down his spine. Sans could see everything. All of the damage he'd endured over the years. Every scar, every chip in his bones... And then Sans spoke. He was... uncertain? Sans, his brother, was uncertain? And not just uncertain. The words put into play made it sound like worry. How could that beautiful soul be an ugly place? Papyrus would die to keep that soul shining. It wasn't ugly. And whatever memory he drew from this soul, good or bad, he'd still love it. Because it was his brother's soul. Because nothing could stop him from loving his brother. He gave his brother a slow blink in place of a nod, then let his tongue taste Sans's soul once more.]

 **SF! Sans:** *Sans hated being uncertain. In the heat of a battle or commanding troops, uncertainty for even just a moment could result in catastrophe. But here he was, as unsure as a rookie on their first day. Even as Papyrus went to taste his memories Sans almost ordered him to stop. Killing that child was horrible, but Sans still felt like there were worse things for Papyrus to discover. His brother knew he had killed a human to become a member of the royal guard, just not that it was a kid. But Papyrus wanted more. He wasn't afraid of understanding him. Papyrus still looked at his soul like he had never looked at anything else before. Sans tensed up, then relaxed at the sensation of the wounds on his soul being licked clean. Sans was overcome with a tidal wave of relief when he felt a very early memory pass. It was the last time they had slept in each other’s arms.*  
_*Papyrus had just gotten his own mattress, but he was too afraid to use it, and Sans begrudgingly let his brother curl under the sheets.* "this is the last time papyrus! we're getting too old for this baby stuff" *But as Papyrus fell asleep, so young that he was only about the same height as Sans at that point, the emotions shared in the memory made it obvious the real reason why he wouldn't share a bed with his young brother after that night. Papyrus told Sans he had romantic feelings for his brother for 2 years. But Sans suffered much, much longer.*_

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** [There were so many things to feel. Warmth, love, lust, acceptance, and fear, to name a few. It had taken him 17 years to develop romantic feelings for his brother, but he couldn't have been more than 4 or 5 when that had happened. Part of him was thankful that Sans had suppressed those urges back then. Who knew what could've happened if Sans had acted on them back then. Maybe he wouldn't have as many scars... or maybe he would, in different places... And then there was that other part. The part of him that wanted to please. It felt guilty that he hadn't acted on his own feelings sooner. Sans had suffered through years of secretly pining over him, and had he realized it sooner, Papyrus would have given his brother his soul much sooner. Papyrus was overwhelmed with all of this. He just wanted to cuddle Sans like they had when they were younger. Offer some comfort to Sans and tell him that he was going to be ok. Papyrus remembered that his hand was still holding Sans's and he gave it a nice squeeze. He then looked to the older with a mixed expression.] IF I HAD REALIZED SOONER... ...I'M SORRY I MADE YOU WAIT SO LONG, SANS. [He flashed his brother an uneasy smile.]

 **SF! Sans:** "i never wanted you to ever realize papyrus! i wanted you to hate me, to grow to despise me. but i never, never, wanted you to know that... you were so small, just a baby, papyrus. and you loved me so much... i---i didn't know what to do. i couldn't just abandon you because of these sick... disgusting!..." *Sans glanced at his brother’s wary smile. Papyrus... that young face had grown into exactly what he fantasized it would look like, even more beautiful... What was he doing?! This was all his fault. Papyrus deserved a brother who would protect him, not lust after him like some sort of predator. Sans pulled his soul away and pressed its flush against his sternum, as if it was a weapon he was attacking his brother with and suddenly realized what he was doing.* "but then 2 years ago you started acting weird. when i would taunt you, you'd admit to wanting me to touch you. you were more eager for my punishments. and like the twisted creature i am, i just had to keep pushing you." *Sans wanted to let go of Papyrus's hand, to keep denying himself his desires. But he just couldn't bring himself to let go.* "and _why_ are you apologizing?! what do you have to be sorry for??"

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** [He listened. He sat there and listened. It was all he could do for a while. Sit and listen to Sans pour his true thoughts out, just like he himself did when Sans asked for explanations. By the time Sans was done, the smile he'd forced had fallen into a determined line. Still gripping Sans's hand, Papyrus moved his hand to place Sans's on his sternum, right above the spot where his soul usually rested. His gaze, however, were directly on Sans.] YOU'RE MY BROTHER. I COULD NEVER HATE YOU. [Even through all the pain and suffering, There was just no possible way Papyrus could ever hate Sans. They'd been through too much. He loved him too much.] I DON'T CARE THAT YOU'RE A SADIST, OR A MASOCHIST, OR AN INCESTUOUS PEDOPHILE. [Well, he was a little wary about the pedophilia, but Sans had stayed his hand throughout the years, and Papyrus respected him for that. He still trusted his brother. Nothing would change that.] I LOVE YOU, SANS. AND I ... I HATE SEEING YOU HURT LIKE THIS. ...YOU'RE HURTING INSIDE, RIGHT? [He squeezed the hand he'd claimed.] MAYBE IF I HAD NOTICED SOONER, YOU WOULDN'T BE HURTING RIGHT NOW. MAYBE IF LAST NIGHT HAD HAPPENED SOONER... [He trailed off.]

 **SF! Sans:** *Sans snapped. Hearing it said like that, just like he had hypocritically mocked Papyrus for desiring him as a brother, those words... They were so ugly. It was too much. This wasn't supposed to happen! He promised himself he would protect Papyrus. He promised himself that he would never do what he did last night... Sans yanked his hand away from Papyrus's touch.* "you should hate me! what the hell is wrong with you?! last night shouldn't have happened sooner, it should have never happened AT ALL! doesn't that make you sick? because it makes me sick, papyrus. it makes me sick every day!" *The truth was Sans would have never, under any circumstance, violated Papyrus as a child. He had no interest in children, or anyone for that matter, except papyrus. He could never see himself loving anyone else.* "and i am not a pedophile! for stars sake, think about what it took for last night to happen! you overpowered me and tied me up. it's not your fault though. i was the one who tormented you... i'm the one who..." *A memory of Sans ordering his brother to pleasure himself in front of him last night flashed through his mind. He gagged at the thought. Sans's sockets grew dark and he spun around so his back was facing Papyrus, and he curled up into a ball* "i don't deserve you papyrus. i just wanted you to hate me so much... i wanted you to get fed up and leave. sometimes i would fantasize about you killing me and somehow not getting in trouble or feeling guilt. sometimes i thought about... i'm sorry papyrus. you deserve better." *Sans was grateful that he turned around when he did. He couldn't bear for Papyrus to see him cry like this. He already felt pathetic enough*

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** [Papyrus frowned. This was a lot deeper than he'd thought. Sans didn't deserve him!? Sans deserved all the happiness in the world! Why would Sans ever think otherwise? The older deserved so much for everything he'd done to protect Papyrus. The younger had had enough of this self-loathing tantrum. He reached forward and pulled Sans into his lap, hugging him from behind. This was just a hug, but even so, his soul couldn't help but pulse. Despite its yearnings, the younger skeleton made no move to touch Sans beyond the hug, though he let his chin rest on the other's clavicle.] YOU'RE MY BROTHER. YOU GAVE ME A HOUSE, AND A BED, AND SOMEONE TO LOOK UP TO. I COULDN'T ASK FOR A BETTER BROTHER.


	10. His very marrow was on display

**SF! Sans:** *Sans felt so naked in that moment. As if his very marrow was on display for all to see. He was shaken up, his reputation tarnished by his secrets. But he was going wild. The only creature he'd ever loved, who he never thought would love him the same way, was holding him, accepting his ugliness, even wanting more. This memory sharing thing was torture. They should be writhing on the floor, not learning about each other! The hug was the final straw. He needed that release. Even if it took all damn night, he needed to learn how to control this magic. He turned toward Papyrus, cupped his chin and forcefully kissed him. He spun around, placed his arms on his younger brother’s clavicles, and shoved him hard on the ground. After a few seconds he broke the kiss, and slapped the taller skeleton across the face.* "you're an idiot." *He kissed him deeply, broke the kiss, and slapped him again.* "a complete numbskull." *Slap* "pathetic" *Kiss* "papyrus... i can't stand it... i need more... help me... that's an order.*

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** [Papyrus hadn't been expecting any of that. The first kiss caught him off guard, and being shoved so forcefully to the ground sent shivers down his spine. The first two slaps were a little confusing for him, but he quickly caught on to the pattern. Even with the insults... the kisses, the slaps, everything about his brother and every gesture he made just drove the younger wild. He wanted to touch the other. Wanted to feel Sans's soul on his tongue. Taste those memories and expose every secret, then hold him close and tell him he wasn't alone anymore. He didn't need an order to get him to help. He would have done that willingly. Regardless, Sans wanted help, and Papyrus would give it to him. He leaned up, stealing a kiss for himself as he moved his hands under the fabric of Sans's battle body, one staying close to the front and teasing his brother's ribs while the other trailed along his spine.]

 **SF! Sans:** _"papyrus... i love you... i'm so messed up... i love you brother..."_ *A memory of a memory from last night* _"i'm so messed up"_ *When Papyrus was just a baby... and all Sans would think about was what would he look like as an adult. How pure he would be... How powerful he was. Sans would hardly ever see his brother train, but he knew how much strength he had. But Papyrus was always hesitant to display it. It scared and infuriated Sans. No matter how hard he would push his brother he would sit and take the abuse with an eager smile.* "i'm so messed up" *The touch on his sensitive bones caused him to tense up. But he didn't care anymore. He encouraged the touches with approving hums and kisses. Papyrus... his Papyrus still loved him. Even if the whole world abandoned him tomorrow. Papyrus would be there.* "don't you _dare_ be gentle, do you understand?"

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** [He didn't care. He didn't care how messed up Sans thought he was. He was perfect in Papyrus's eyes. Perfectly beautiful, perfectly strong... Papyrus felt blessed to have Sans as a brother, and even more blessed to be able to touch him like this. Hearing Sans hum and feeling the other's teeth on his bones... knowing that he was pleasing the one person he wanted to please more than anything... That was a privilege. Tonight was going to be a rough one, but Papyrus was eager. Because the pain he knew he'd take wouldn't be out of malice or punishment. It would be out of love. A pair of lions, about to wrestle each other. He wouldn't disappoint his brother.] I UNDERSTAND, SANS. NO MERCY IN THIS LOVE.

 **SF! Sans:** "good" *Sans purred at the eagerness in his brother’s voice. He then moved his hands from Papyrus's clavicles and wrapped his phalanges around the taller skeleton’s neck. Sans definitely had a weakness for those delicate vertebrae that separated the head from the body. There was something about it that made Sans exchange his formal tight laced expression to a more lewd one. Sans leaned in to his brother until they were almost kissing. Every inch closer made Sans tighten his grip around Papyrus's neck that much more. Papyrus now knew that Sans was deeply self loathing, and that he would fantasize about his brother killing him. But even memory sharing couldn't reveal that fratricide was Sans's go-to daydream when he would pleasure himself. Sans knew Papyrus didn't have it in him to actually kill him. But it didn't mean Sans wouldn't do his best to bring out the dustthirst in the young sentry.* "well," *Sans hissed, the skeleton’s breath intermingling,* "what are you waiting for?" *Sans’s eye socket glowed red as he squeezed agonizingly tighter.* "fight me! defeat me and claim my soul, papyrus!"

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** [He didn't need to be told twice. "No mercy in this love." Only the fierce battle over dominance between two lion brothers. There would be pain, but it would be fun. Papyrus grinned up at his brother, breath he didn’t need almost completely blocked by Sans's grip, before moving one of his hands to Sans's pinkie finger. He pulled backwards on the weaker phalanges _hard_ in an attempt to pry the hand off, then knocked his skull forward, hitting Sans's teeth with his own with an almost painful force. With his free arm, he reached for Sans's broken rib, then made to twist the bone.]

 **SF! Sans:** *Sans had no choice but to remove the hand with his bent pinky from Papyrus's neck. He quickly pulled away from his brother’s grasp and grabbed the other rib. The same rib Papyrus broke on Sans. Now at a stalemate, the smaller skeleton broke the kiss.* "awww, you're no fun...you can do better than that.” *Sans took the other hand from around his neck and plunged it down the tall skeleton’s pants, hooking himself into into Papyrus's ilium, his other hand still on the rib.* "if you want to lack mercy, you're going to need to break new bones." *Sans dug the tips of his phalanges into the flat of the sensitive pelvic bone with incredible force. Learned by years of intense training, he was able to use brute force and practiced technique to puncture the bone.* "i know you can win this!" *Sans barked with hungry encouragement.* "don't disappoint me! if you want me to be your pet, you're going to have to tame me, papyrus."

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** [It hurt. It hurt so much, but the pain was so good. He screamed, squeezing his sockets shut for a moment as the pain spider-webbed outwards. After a moment, he opened his sockets again. The orbs of light were absent, and he seemed to get more into it the longer Sans's phalange stayed in the puncture wound it had created.] "I WON'T DISAPPOINT YOU." [He sneered, leaning up once again to latch onto one of Sans's clavicles with his teeth, sinking them into the bone with enough force to reach the marrow. He grasped Sans's rib cage with his free hand, taking several ribs in between his fingers, then using his hold, he shook his head while pulling on those ribs, and used the momentum to roll over on top of Sans. Once there, he pinned the smaller's femurs down with his tibias.]

 **SF! Sans:** *Weak... So weak... Even in hand to hand combat he had nothing on Papyrus once his younger brother really put his heart into something. The pain searing from his clavicle made his soul burn and his bones leak magic.* "h---heh" *Sans whimpered between his screaming and sobbing,* "n---not bad... you real---errrrgh!--- really want that soul. even if i am just some sick pervert. you like when i call you master, when i tell you i, haaaaah, love you, huh? you're disgusssting" *But the pride he felt seeing how Papyrus had grown into the skeleton he was made a deep sense of pride swell within him, giving Sans just enough strength to pull his hand out from Papyrus's pelvis and grab his soul, squeezing it tight.*

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** [Papyrus's tongue lapped at the magic pooling from Sans's wound. The taste was indescribable, and Papyrus couldn't stop. He wanted more. So much more. He wasn't even paying attention to what Sans was saying. That is, until his soul was grabbed. The half scream, half moan that it caused forced Papyrus let go of Sans's clavicle, unable to keep his jaw clamped to the bone. And then there was the memory.]  
 _[Sans had come home from his first day of being a sentry, and Papyrus had been waiting for him. The younger skeleton, only half an inch taller, had been stewing in anger and sense of betrayal Sans's entire shift. Papyrus had been trying to get Sans to talk to him, but the older skeleton hadn't even looked at him. Out of frustration, Papyrus had swung his fist at Sans. Instead of taking the blow, Sans had snagged Papyrus's wrist in mid-punch, then had started to bend it backwards. Papyrus had begged and begged, and at one point had started to cry. Sans had been merciful then. Sans had let go then. Sans had let his brother off with a warning then.] _  
[And it hadn't been until the previous night that Papyrus had ever attacked Sans since then.]__

__**SF! Sans:** *Another bittersweet memory shared between the brothers. Sans was so drunk and high he barely thought anything of it... Maybe if he just kept holding on the memories would stop.* "i kept hoping you would do that again.” *Sans growled, his eyes hazy with lust and pain.* "i would think about that day a lot." *Sans began to blush with shame.* "doesn't that make you angry?" *He tilted up Papyrus's head so that they were face to face again.* "doesn't it make you sick, that this whole time i was hurting you because i wanted you to fight back?" *He teased the bottom of Papyrus's now dripping heart with his tongue, savoring the flavor of the thick red honey-like magic dripping off of it.* "your beloved big bro was a sick phedo masochist. i just wanted you to hurt me so i could get off without you knowing. and just look at you now, instead of being disgusted like a normal monster... you're positively melting." *With the hand not holding the heart, Sans squeezed his brother’s jaw, forcing it open, then lapped at the inside of Papyrus's mouth.* "just taste how eager you are for more... how lewd."_ _

__**Swapfell!Papyrus:** [Papyrus was panting, and his tongue lolled out of his mouth a little. That memory... Even though he had been scared back then, the memory of pain in his wrist was like a drug to his masochist. His soul was too overwhelmed by Sans's advances to show another memory, and the overload had it preemptively trickling magic. No matter what, Papyrus could never hate his brother. No, he loved Sans far too much, and the older's words only proved that. He hadn't even attempted to get Sans's soul yet, and his soul was on the verge of release. He couldn't! Not yet! He was going to bite Sans again, but his jaw was already being forced open. His sockets widened when he felt his brother's tongue on his. It wasn't quite like last night's French kiss, with the magic from Papyrus's soul and the alcohol from Muffet's bar heavy on Sans's tongue, but the added flavors only drove the younger even more wild. He couldn't take it. He was losing himself too fast. Papyrus plunged one of his hands into Sans's rib cage, stealing the other's soul and pressing his thumb phalange against the red and blue heart.]_ _

__**SF! Sans:** *The last thing Sans felt before the memory took hold was Papyrus's labored soul pulsing and building up to its limits in his grasp. It felt incredible. It was a different kind of ecstasy than last night. Instead of their souls meshing together, they shared their magic in a more aggressively passionate way. Each skeleton greedily clutching on to their treasure, while they tasted one another's magic in a deep, hungry kiss.* _ _

___*...Suddenly they were transported to that small shack, their first home. A very young Sans was alone standing outside the entrance, shaking with a bone attack clutched in his hands.* "y-you can't come in! my brother’s sick! d-d-don't make me fight you!" *A shadow closed in on him and the memory ended.*_  
*The memory of how his skull got cracked. But it wasn't a sad memory. It was Sans's first victory. He was able to protect his brother. He proved himself worthy of his brother’s love even at such a young age. But he was here now, and Papyrus's grasp made Sans’s soul almost slippery to the touch... He wasn't going to last much longer.*_ _

__**Swapfell!Papyrus:** [Neither of them were, actually. If anything, Papyrus was closer than Sans. The younger gasped and moaned, and even if his brother wasn't prying his jaw open, he'd still be kissing the other. Mingling their tongues together and sharing the magic leaking from their souls that way. What a lewd thought. The Papyrus from two days ago would have only fantasized about it. Now, it was all he could do to hold himself together and try to last as long as possible. It wasn't working. He was at the breaking point.]_ _

__**SF! Sans:** *Magic certainly was something else. It seemed that the memory sharing seemed to fade under certain circumstances. Sans's mind was swimming in a sea of desire. The only thing he was aware of other than his own pleasure was Papyrus's soul screaming for it's release. It just needed one final push, one tiny button pressed. And Sans knew exactly how to do it.* "break for me, love" *He brought the soul up to the pair of intertwined mandibles, and gave Papyrus's jaw a firm squeeze, tight enough to get him to break the kiss for just long enough for Sans to press the soul against his desperate mouth. Then he leaned in and resumed the kiss. What a sensation! If Sans soul wasn't in his rib cage he would be long gone.*_ _

__**Swapfell!Papyrus:** [He was falling. Falling into a sea of pure ecstasy. With a sharp, loud moan, Papyrus's soul came undone, releasing waves of liquid magic for both skeletons to taste. And stars, it tasted good. If only it were Sans's soul breaking instead. How would that taste? Would Papyrus ever get the chance to know? He hoped so.]_ _

__**SF! Sans:** *Sans growled with surprise and satisfaction as he greedily lapped up the hot sticky mess now coating his face and tongue. The small guard kept a firm hold on his lover as he rode out each wave of Papyrus's climax, thoughts and desires pouring through his mind at the same rate the magic spilled from the tall skeleton’s soul. But suddenly, it felt as though a switch had been flipped. As soon as Sans felt his younger brother go limp from the stimulation Sans let go of him, and pushed him aside, letting the red and orange soul drop. Without saying a word, Sans shakily stood up, as if nothing ever happened, as if Papyrus wasn't even there, and turned on the bath.*_ _

__**Swapfell!Papyrus:** [He was completely spent. With labored breath and almost no strength left, it didn't take much for Sans to push him to the ground. Really, he would probably have collapsed anyway, exhaustion and pain taking over. For a moment, he just laid there, trying to gather some strength. When he finally did, he managed to roll over onto his back before he had to stop again. The white orbs in his sockets, having returned, looked up at the smaller skeleton.] "S... AN... S...?" [He felt so weak. Completely and utterly drained. Part of him, the servant that had been drilled into his skull for years, wondered if he'd done something wrong.]_ _

__**SF! Sans:** *The hot water combined with the dim lights filled the bathroom up with a glowing haze. Sans still refused to acknowledge his younger brother. Sans stared silently into the filling tub. His face was still a mess, and his soul still burned painfully. It was just as confused as Papyrus. After a moment Sans began to undress. Starting with his scarf, then his battle body, then the rest of his clothing. He had never been this exposed before. He couldn't remember any time that he was bare boned in front of anyone. But even so, he acted like Papyrus wasn't there. He was in a daze... Maybe it was from a lack of sleep. Papyrus didn't know Sans had been awake for almost two days... Maybe it was because Sans had convinced himself that he had groomed Papyrus from a young age to desire him romantically. But most likely, it was the horrible feeling of impending doom that Sans felt. Whatever it was, Sans was in a trance, and when the tub was halfway filled, he silently stepped in and sat down, staring and the dim lights reflecting in the dark water as it rippled.*_ _

__**Swapfell!Papyrus:** [Papyrus could only watch for a while. His neck was a little sore from earlier, and the masochist in him had gone dormant after his climax. Now it was just pain, and even though he could have just closed his sockets, he didn't want to. Stars, he was so weak. He couldn't even stop himself from watching his brother disrobe. Come to think of it, Papyrus hadn't seen Sans completely bare before. Even last night, the only thing he'd exposed was the older's rib cage. And in the dim lighting of their bathroom, the way the lights and shadows fell on his brother's bones made Papyrus only love him that much more. Sans, with his battle scars and injuries from earlier and last night, everything about him was beautiful in the younger skeleton's eyes. The more he stared, however, and the more strength returned to him, the more uneasy he grew. The way Sans was holding himself seemed... off. And his movements were more mechanical than anything else. Papyrus managed to roll over onto his front, not without pain, and prop himself up on his arms, still pain, to try and look at Sans. His brother looked half dead, honestly. His gaze didn't seem to be on anything in particular... And the water. He'd left the water running. Papyrus eyed the faucet, still gushing hot water. It was fine for now, but if it kept going, the tub would overflow.]_ _

__**SF! Sans:** _dark darker yet darker_ *His mind was blank. The only sound was the white noise of the bath faucet. Sans leaned back into the hot water. He always had the water either scalding hot or freezing cold. He couldn't feel it either way. The only time the small warrior ever felt warmth was in his brother’s embrace. Sometimes he thought... Perhaps even pretended he would feel something after a successful victory, but it wasn't warmth. He sunk deeper into the water, it now glowed blue and red from his soul being submerged. Why did he keep getting this horrible feeling in his gut? He sunk deeper, his chin now dipping in the water, and orange magic lapped out into the bathwater from his bones. Fatigue and intoxication was finally taking its toll. Sans fell into a deep sleep the instant his eyes shut out all light, lulling him into an almost death-like slumber.*_ _

__**Swapfell!Papyrus:** [The further Sans sank, the more panicked Papyrus became. He rose to his hands and knees, ignoring the pain in his pelvis.] "SANS?" [No response. Sans sunk deeper, and Papyrus moved to the edge of the tub, supporting himself with it.] "SANS." [No response. Sans sunk even deeper, and Papyrus moved to shut off the water.] "SANS!!" [His brother shut his sockets, and if it wasn't for Papyrus's quick thinking, he would have sunk below the water entirely. For a while, Papyrus just held him there, supporting him up so he didn't slip under the water. He didn't know what to do. He didn't have the strength to lift Sans out of the tub, and if he let go, Sans might just sink to his death. Finally, Papyrus steeled himself. He carefully shrugged the rest of his clothes off, and being mindful of his injuries, he carefully climbed into the bath with Sans, letting the smaller skeleton rest in his lap. The scalding hot water didn't do much for his injury, and neither did Sans's sleeping form, but at least now, Sans wasn't at risk of drowning in his sleep. Papyrus only hoped he wouldn't get punished for this later.]_ _

__**SF! Sans:** _*For a minute, Sans didn't know where he was. All he saw was white. And it was so quiet. Just the sound of crunching snow and someone in the distance calling his name. He kept having this nagging feeling that something was horribly wrong. But he kept hearing someone call his name. Something was missing. The cries became louder and more frantic as something red started coming into view. It was... It was...*_   
"my scarf!" *Sans awoke with a start. At first he didn't even know where he was or why he was wet and naked. But within seconds he remembered everything. Except the part where Papyrus got in the bath with him, not that he minded. Papyrus made the bath warm enough for it to be comfortable. Sans looked over the tub and was relieved to find his scarf thrown haphazardly on the floor. Then came the sharp pain in his clavicle where Papyrus bit it. He touched it and saw it was still bleeding. Sans hissed at the stinging feeling.* "oh... hey papyrus, what’s up? i guess i dozed off...." *Sans yawned sleepily. He wanted to apologize, he wanted to turn around and kiss Papyrus, but he still felt so heavy. And Sans was far too stubborn to apologize. That sense of dread and urgency still wasn't leaving his core, like every second with Papyrus was more important than anything else he would ever experience in his life. It was starting to make him shiver uncontrollably. He had to distract Papyrus from any odd behavior. But just to steady his shivering, Sans grabbed Papyrus's hand and held it tight.* "how... how are you holding up?"_ _

__**Swapfell!Papyrus:** [Papyrus jolted a bit at Sans's sudden outburst. He hadn't expected his brother to wake up like that. Well, at least he wouldn't have to carry him out of the bath and risk slipping on something. What surprised Papyrus more was how casual Sans seemed. He'd almost drowned! The expression on his face probably gave away his concern, and when Sans squeezed his hand, Papyrus squeezed back.] "I'M A LITTLE SORE, BUT I'LL BE OK, BROTHER." [He flashed the smaller an uneasy smile, trying to reassure the other and probably failing.] "BUT WHAT ABOUT YOU? I BIT YOU PRETTY HARD..."_ _

__**SF! Sans:** "the bite? heh, that's nothing. besides, i ordered you to be rough." *Sans loved the stinging pain. It reminded him that he was alive right then and there. Sans’s tongue was still conjured, he couldn't have been asleep that long. The flavor of his brother’s release was still on it, and his heart was still throbbing painfully, both from being untouched and being submerged in hot water. Sans dove his hand into his ribcage and pulled his soul out. It twitched in his grasp, begging for more. Relieved to be free. It gave Sans a second wind of energy.* "are you sure you'll be okay?" *Sans asked in a testing voice, as he gently stroked his own soul with his thumb. He leaned back into Papyrus, grinding his hipbones against the still leaking injury on the taller skeletons ilium.* "you have injuries of your own, after all." *Sans growled as he inserted a phalange into his plasma-like soul.* "is there anything i could do to make it better?"_ _

__**Swapfell!Papyrus:** [Papyrus hissed through his teeth, the added pressure on his ilium sending waves of pain that reminded him just how rough Sans had been. His gaze fell to Sans's soul. That beautiful red and blue heart... Papyrus felt a little guilty for not being able to hold up as long. For not giving Sans that same euphoria he'd given his younger brother.] I'LL BE FINE ONCE I PATCH IT UP. ...BUT, UM... I-IF IT'S NOT TOO MUCH TO ASK... MAYBE... C-COULD YOU SHIFT OVER A LITTLE BIT, SANS? J-JUST SO YOU'RE NOT SITTING ON IT? [He rarely asked for things from his brother, and every time he did, it was never without unease.]_ _

__**SF! Sans:** *That wasn't the request Sans was looking for, but he complied, moving his hips forward, easing the pressure off the puncture wound.* "what’s the matter pet? was i too rough?" *Sans continued to rub at his soul and let go of Papyrus's hand, gliding it up the younger skeleton’s femur and lightly stroked curve of his iliac crest. The smooth curved surface against his touch sent electricity through Sans's bones into his soul, which in turn sent a wave of pleasure through his being, causing Sans to release a soft moan and lean his skull into the stuttering youth’s sternum as he continued to slowly work at his own soul* "it didn't seem to bother you just a few minutes ago when you were coming undone in my mouth." *Sans continued his ministrations on Papyrus's crest. mimicking the motions on his now dripping heart.* "that was very selfish of you to finish before me like that. i thought you wanted me to be proud of you"_ _

__**Swapfell!Papyrus:** "Y-YOU WEREN'T TOO ROUGH. NO MERCY, REMEMBER? I-IT'S JUST A LITTLE SORE. IT'LL BE FINE AFTER I P-PATCH IT UP." [He didn't want Sans to think he couldn't handle this type of love. He'd survived much worse from Sans before. He was only showing weakness now because, for one reason or another, he felt more safe with Sans now than he had since they were children. It might have just been him projecting, but he felt so much closer to Sans than before. Figuratively and physically. Sans's touch, his gentle caresses on his ilium made Papyrus's tired soul flutter, and a small blush to grow on his features. He was still too spent to be able to go through another full on "fight," but that couldn't stop his soul from craving the other's touch.] "I-I'M SORRY. I THOUGHT I COULD KEEP UP..." [Sans's words stung. He _did_ want Sans to be proud of him. As if his years of being the other's servant, only sneaking behind Sans's back to train whatever skill he thought would get the most approval from the older skeleton, hadn't proved that. But still...] "I... I DID BREAK FOR YOU, THOUGH... THAT'S WHAT YOU WANTED... RIGHT?"_ _

__**SF! Sans:** *Sans chuckled as he ran his feather light touch around the crest to the area where his sacrum and lower spine met, gently clawing the bumpy area. It felt incredible. Sans’s own arousal continued to rise as he played with himself on his beloved brother’s lap. Papyrus was cute when he was flustered... but even cuter when he wasn't.* "you aren't wrong, sweet brother. but that's not entirely why i'm disappointed. you know when i was touching your soul i could hear your desires. you are so obsessed with pleasing me and me giving you attention and love. you seem to forget that you can _take_ these things." *Sans nuzzled against his lover’s sternum and brought his soul up to his teeth, with all the teasing and being so close to Papyrus, his soul burned hotter than he had ever felt it before. He had to hold his touch on it for a second so he could maintain his composure* "what i'm trying to say is... last night made me have a huge epiphany. while it's fun to play master in public. what i really want is for you to take what you want, even if it's against my orders... _especially_ , if it's against my orders." *Sans resumed masturbating in front of his brother, and allowed himself to release some of the sounds Papyrus heard in the bedroom 2 months ago.* "do you understand?” *Sans hissed* "it seems like you enjoy pretending to be me."_ _

__**Swapfell!Papyrus:** [Him and his blushing face started to get the smallest inkling that Sans was doing this on purpose. The teasing, the masturbation, stars, the noises! Papyrus's soul seemed to draw energy from them all, giving the younger skeleton the last little bit of strength he needed.] "...I UNDERSTAND, M'LORD. ...THANK YOU." [With Sans's explanation out of the way, and essentially his OK to break the rules, Papyrus reached for his brother's soul and snatched it away from the smaller skeleton. His sockets were dim.] "I THINK I'LL TAKE OVER NOW. JUST SIT AND RELAX, SANS~" [Papyrus bit his brother's soul, sighing softly at the taste of the magic that was dripping off the heart.]_ _

__**SF! Sans:** "you don't have to thank---hey wai---" *But his sentence ended with a gasp as his soul was snatched out of his grasp. The electrifying sensation made him stiffen and he grabbed both of Papyrus's femurs and his eyes dimmed to black.*  
 _*It was just one time, just to see if it would help. He was running the blade across his sternum, little red and leaking lines ran across and along his ribs, his humerus, his clavicle, anywhere that would be covered by clothing. He was already scarred from training and combat. 'this is stupid...' a Sans in his early 20s grumbled to himself as he sat in the empty bathtub. But he kept doing it. His rib-cage was empty, his spent soul laid next to him. Unlike his sleepy brother, Sans seemed to have a habit of being unable to relax after pleasuring himself, in fact.*_   
"please don't stop" *Sans begged as he felt the memory end and Papyrus's teeth sink into his soul. Papyrus was able to summon pleasure in his being better than he ever could. The small skeleton pressed back into his brother in an act of desperation. Sans slid his hands up the taller skeleton’s sides and pulled him close, just like last night.* "i'm already... already close... god!"_ _

__**Swapfell!Papyrus:** [His poor big brother. He could feel the other's desperation in both the memory and the present. He wouldn't disappoint Sans. Papyrus bit down a little harder, then drew Sans's soul into his mouth in its entirety. He started nursing on it afterwards, using a nice bite to hold the heart in place while Papyrus sucked down liquid magic straight from Sans's soul.]_ _

__**SF! Sans:** *Sans couldn't help himself, he whimpered and moaned and fidgeted, rubbing his legs together. The motions from his fits of pain and pleasure sent water splashing onto the floor* "p---papyrus...stars, oh stars... i love you...i love you!!" *He didn't have time to ask for permission. It just happened. As Sans peaked, he noticed a single droplet of water flying through the air. It was something so fleeting and normally so insignificant. But in that moment of pure ecstasy, it looked like a small red pearl floating in space. It was just as beautiful and just as mortal as that moment, the pentagram in his eye socket was burning like a flame. Everything burned so nicely, and Papyrus felt so good behind him. When the moment passed, Sans found that his mind was blissfully blank this time. All the fatigue and buildup from the day sent a soothing wave or relief through him as he slumped into the tub.*_ _

__**Swapfell!Papyrus:** [To say that Papyrus thought Sans's reaction was beautiful would be an understatement. Watching his brother writhe like that only to fall limp in his arms was absolutely stunning, and the taste of Sans's release on the younger skeleton's tongue was well worth breaking the rules. Once Sans was done, and once Papyrus had tasted every drop of Sans's climax, the younger skeleton let the soul return to its cage, then held Sans close. He pressed his teeth against the other's parietal, his sockets drooping.] "I LOVE YOU TOO, SANS. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, BROTHER."_ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And everything goes downhill from here~


	11. Out cold

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not a fan of how this chapter was sectioned. There's a few entries that could have been put in the last chapter that I didn't. Oh well. What's done is done. Can't change it now.  
> Also, I'm uploading this from my phone today, so please be a little lenient of there's some formatting issues with this one. I'll go over this chapter again when I can get on my comp. 
> 
> Also, you people are insane. Over 2,500 hits and 100 kudos!?!?!? Thank you so much. You're all very lovely people.

**SF! Sans:** *Sans was exhausted, any monster in Sans’s predicament would have been out cold. But Sans was still fighting it. His midnight sky eye sockets only slits, but still open. Sans remembered as a child something the river person said to him. It still stuck with him: _"you will care for your seedling, love it as it grows, when it blossoms, you will pick it. And when that happens you will perish"_ Sans was glad Papyrus didn't see that memory, he never would have to. Tonight, and from that moment on. Sans was going to be the brother Papyrus pined for. After catching his breath, Sans took Papyrus's arms and wrapped them around him.* "i err... suppose we should fix ourselves up and go to bed. i.... i want you to sleep with me tonight. that's an order." *He meant to sound commanding, but he was exhausted, and looked forward to finally sleeping in the safety of his brother’s embrace.*

**Swapfell!Papyrus:** [Commanding, exhausted, Papyrus didn't care. This was his brother, and he'd give his brother anything he wanted, regardless of the tone he asked in.] "ANYTHING YOU WANT, SANS." [Papyrus pecked Sans's parietal again before shifting so he could lift the smaller skeleton, then minding his injuries, he stepped out of the tub with Sans in his arms. He was thankful for the one bath rug, since he likely would have slipped without it. Papyrus grabbed a towel, effectively wrapping Sans in it before moving to retrieve the medicine kit from the top shelf of the cabinet. Why did they keep something so crucial so high up, anyway?]

**SF! Sans:** *Sans felt suddenly bashful. He hadn't seemed to realize that his brother had undressed and was now fully exposed. The way his bones rotated and stretched in their sockets mesmerized Sans. It was much more pleasing to see his brother’s anatomy in its full glory as he worked on patching Sans’s clavicle. Sans smiled and stroked his brother lovingly as he worked. It took Papyrus a bit longer than he normally would. Sans kept lifting his jaw from his work and kissing him softly. Sometimes so softly it wouldn't even make a sound.* "do you know what i want, more than anything else?" *Sans asked as Papyrus began working on the puncture wounds on his ilium, then pressed his forehead against the other’s* "i want you to be happy, papyrus" *For once, Sans was being completely honest*

**Swapfell!Papyrus:** [Sans was a lot more tender now. Of course, Papyrus wasn't going to object. The only drawback was that his first aid skills were delayed. It was harder to bandage a wound when the person getting bandaged distracted him with soft, gentle kisses. And of course his own bandaging would be interrupted by a question. Papyrus gave Sans his full attention, only to blink in surprise. Sans, the one he wanted to be happier than anyone else, wished for his happiness? Papyrus just smiled, his soul fluttering happily.] "I'LL BE HAPPY AS LONG AS YOU'RE HAPPY, SANS."

**SF! Sans:** *For the first time in as long as he could remember, Sans laughed. But not like his usual cruel mocking laughs that were designed for humiliating. He laughed gently, honestly, with gentle notes of love and compassion in its tone.* "well then I order you to be happy for me, failure to do so will disappoint me." *Sans kissed Papyrus again as soon as he finished his gauze work.* "i know you won't disappoint me brother, i've put far too much work into you." *As the pair shakily stood up sans noticed Papyrus start to pick up his clothing* "we will not be putting dirty clothes on to sleep in my bed... let's just sleep like this, okay?"

**Swapfell!Papyrus:** [That laugh... It rang in Papyrus's skull like music. How long had it been since he'd heard that laugh? Years? At least a decade. He was sure of it. The younger skeleton could only nod, his breath having been taken away by the beauty of that laugh. Sans was right. He wouldn't disappoint. An attempt to redress was halted by Sans's words. Papyrus looked to his brother, a small blush growing on his features, before he let the clothes he'd retrieved fall back to the floor, and stood up.] OK, M'LORD. ANYTHING YOU WANT.

**SF! Sans:** *Sans smiled and picked up his scarf... It was more like a security blanket than an article of clothing. He tied it up in it's usual style and grabbed Papyrus's hand. Papyrus's magic flowed through his system, he could feel everything Papyrus was feeling. This was incredible for Sans. He had spent so long either feeling horrible or feeling nothing at all, the blissful wave of foreign emotion made him want it to never go away. But his fears and sadness were still present. Sans could no longer hide under battle bodies or masks. He didn't want this to end. He didn't want to leave his brother’s side.... But that bed was too enticing, like a cloud, and Papyrus just felt so right. He sat on the bed, still holding Papyrus's hand.* "you're right brother. i am your lord. but what is a lord without a devout servant? i would not be where I am without you. honestly, without you to care for and motivate me to be better, i would still be homeless.... so please brother, can you forgive me?"

**Swapfell!Papyrus:** [Having taken a spot on the bed beside Sans, Papyrus listened to his brother speak. His sockets widened at the question. His brother never apologized for anything. Then again, Sans usually didn't feel the need to. Papyrus stayed silent for a while, trying to wrap his head around the gravity of that question. What it would mean for their future. Their relationship as a whole. After a moment of just stewing in his thoughts, Papyrus decided on an answer. He took Sans's hand, the one he'd been holding, then brought it to his teeth so he could give the back of it a gentle skeleton kiss.] "THERE'S NOTHING TO FORGIVE, M'LORD. I'LL STAY YOUR SERVANT FOR AS LONG AS YOU NEED ME, AND I'LL BE YOUR MASTER FOR AS LONG AS YOU WANT ME. AND NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO, I'LL ALWAYS BE YOUR LOVING BROTHER."

**SF! Sans:** *A bittersweet emotion welled up inside Sans as he snuggled up in bed with his brother... his servant, his master. There was so much Sans wanted forgiven. His abuse, his predatory hunger for his brother as a child, the years and years of emotional distance. Sans stroked his brother underneath the thick black blanket he was burrowed in, lazily memorizing all the textures of the cracks and scars he inflicted over the years. Even though it made him sad, the soothing sensation of bone on bone relaxed him and made his eye sockets grow heavy with fatigue. Sans wished everything could just end here, lying safe in his precious flower’s embrace. He wanted to sleep and never wake up.* "please....master..." *Sans yawned, more asleep than awake, his eye sockets finally closed.* "please forgive me... i love you... so much. more than life itself."

**Swapfell!Papyrus:** [As Sans explored his body, Papyrus only held Sans close. His brother... The one he'd been pining over for two years...] "I'LL ALWAYS FORGIVE YOU, SANS..." [He paused, letting out a yawn before closing his sockets. He was exhausted. The fatigue from earlier was returning full swing. He felt he could sleep for an eternity.] "YOU'RE MY EVERYTHING..." [And with that, he fell into a deep, dreamless sleep.]

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

**SF! Sans:** *It felt like Sans had only just closed his eyes when his cell phone went off. It was still dark outside when he opened his eyes, and his first sensation was a splitting headache from drinking. When he looked at the screen, he saw that he missed several calls from Alphys, along with several urgent texts. Someone, or something, was in the underground leaving nothing but a trail of dust in its wake. He needed to go to Snowdin immediately. Sans lept from his warm comfortable bed. Was this really it? The timing was just too perfect. He rushed to his closet to change into a clean uniform. Just before running out the bedroom he turned looked at Papyrus. Could he really just leave without saying goodbye? He walked up to his bedside and kneeled over the sleeping figure, and softly kissed his brother’s forehead* "be happy for me, paps"

**Swapfell!Papyrus:** [Papyrus would curl up on himself as soon as Sans left the bed, but he would not stir until after Sans had already left. The bed was cold by then, and there was no sign of his brother to be had. Normally, Papyrus would have brushed it off, figuring Sans had been called to work early, but there was some subtle something in the back of his mind that placed this little anomaly as something much more serious. It was all just too convenient. And it all seemed so familiar... Suddenly, Papyrus shot out of the bed, scrambling out of Sans's room and into his own, then throwing some clothes on - he didn't care what - and taking a shortcut to the edge of Snowdin, just before Waterfall. By this point, he was trembling, almost afraid to look for the scene his metaphorical stomach twisted at the concept of.]

**SF! Sans:** *By the time Sans had gotten to where he needed to be, no one was there. Suddenly Sans got a text from Alphys saying they needed to evacuate the townsfolk and that it wasn't safe for him to be there.* "thanks a lot alph." *Sans grumbled, and he turned to leave the ghost down when he heard crunching in the snow. The chill of dread ran up his spine* "who's there?! show yourself!" *Sans faced the sound of the approaching foe and readied a magic attack. It was a human. A child. Just like the one he killed. Sans was frozen in place. It was like looking at a ghost. This child looked exactly the same, right down to the hair and the striped shirt. The only major difference was their face. They were smiling.* "st--stay back!" *Sans threw an attack in the direction of the human. But it missed. The child got closer. Sans kept fighting with all of his might, but nothing hit, and Sans found himself on all fours in the snow, exhausted. His thoughts rested only on his beloved master.* "forgive me... brother... i wasn't .... strong enough"

**Swapfell!Papyrus:** [It was exactly like his dreams. Everything was playing out exactly like what he'd seen in them. And in a moment, Papyrus knew what would befall his beloved brother. A memory flashed. Snow, dust, and a single red scarf... No! No, there had to be another way! There had to be! The human was closing in on Sans. Any moment now. Papyrus had to act quick. They lifted their weapon, ready to strike... And the blow landed. But not on Sans. Papyrus had taken the hit, the child's weapon having made contact with one of his arms. Both his radius and ulna were fractured badly, but Papyrus's didn't seem to notice the pain. His empty eye sockets were trained on the human, who had a look of surprise and confusion plastered on their face. Papyrus grinned.] "I WON'T LET YOU TOUCH MY BROTHER AGAIN, DEMON. NOW, BE A GOOD KID AND BURN IN HELL FOR ME, ALRIGHT?" [At that four Gaster Blasters had appeared around the human, trapping them. Papyrus didn't give them a chance to scream before firing. When the blasts faded, all that remained was a single soul, floating just above a charred body. Papyrus sighed before he fell to the ground. His arm hurt a lot. Still, he managed to look up at the one he'd protected. The one he loved.] "ARE... YOU... OK... BROTHER...?"

**SF! Sans:** *Sans shut his eyes when the child raised their knife. When he heard the sound of metal on bone, he felt... nothing. Was this what being turned to dust felt like? But then he heard it. The voice he thought he'd never hear again. This was impossible! The memory.... the prophecy. But there he was, standing before him like a true hero. Even the child looked surprised. The battle was incredible but quick, and the younger brother showed that he was far stronger than Sans could ever be. Once again, Sans found himself looking at another child's body. But this time burned instead of bloody. And Papyrus... How? Sans’s sockets widened more than he ever thought they could. And then Papyrus fell. Sans heart stopped for a moment, worried maybe Papyrus had taken a fatal blow. He grabbed his lover and held him close, too frantic to even answer his question. But Sans was more than ok... He was alive.* "papyrus.... papyrus... how did you find me? i thought... stars, i never thought I was ever going to see you again..." *Tears flowed freely from the smaller skeleton’s sockets as he hastily removed his red scarf and wrapped Papyrus's arm with it.* "i... i just don't understand pap.... i thought i died."

**Swapfell!Papyrus:** [Papyrus smiled weakly at his brother. He still had his 1 HP. He'd be ok. Subtly, he tried to move closer to the other. Sans was here. Sans was alive. He wasn't going to turn to dust this time. He'd saved him.] "NIGHTMARE... MEMORY... COULDN'T... LET YOU... DIE AGAIN..." [Words were hard for the taller skeleton. But he'd try.] "SANS... OK...?"

**SF! Sans:** *Sans still was in a state of wild disbelief, but then once he finished wrapping his fracture he threw himself into a tearful rage.* "you could have DIED papyrus!!! are you crazy?" *Sans raised his hand to slap him, but instead he grabbed his brother and pulled him into a tight desperate embrace* "you could have died pap... i would rather die a million times before having to live without you... god dammit.. you only have 1 HP!!!" *Sans's mind was spinning, he needed to get Papyrus to a doctor... or home... or somewhere safe... Anywhere but this cursed place, but the royal guard captain could barely move. He was supposed to die here. He HAD died here. All the small terrified skeleton could do for the time being was sob like a child and weep the name of his savior over and over.*

**Swapfell!Papyrus:** [He didn't have the strength to hold Sans with his one good arm. He had used most of his magic to make sure that attack hadn't delt any damage, and combined with the blasters he'd used, he was all but spent. He was glad the attack hit so low. He would have never been able to pull that off if the child had aimed for his rib cage or cervical vertebrae.] "DIE... FOR... YOU... LOVE..." [He pressed his skull against Sans weakly, trying to bury it in his brother's scent. It was still Sans. No dust. Just Sans.] "I'M... OK... DON'T... CRY..."

**SF! Sans:** *Even though Sans was sweating, exhausted to the point of almost fainting, he had to get out of this place. The smell of his would-be killer was making him panic. Sans struggled to stand up and grab his brother around the rib cage to pull him back into town. Back home... where they would be safe.* "you are forbidden to die for me! do you understand?! forbidden!" *Sans screamed between tearful labored grunts as he tried to drag Papyrus away from the scene* "if... ***huff*** if you ever died for me... i would _never_ forgive you! never!!" *Normally Sans wouldn't have had a problem pulling around Papyrus. His training regiment involved him doing farmers walks with heavy boulders. But Sans was so drained of energy from the battle that he was only able to go a few feet at a time. He could have sworn he had died. His mind kept playing it over and over again. He could remember the sensation of his head being separated from his body.* "however... i am proud of you... but i am going to have to take the credit for the human dying. no one can know what really happened."

**Swapfell!Papyrus:** [As much as he wanted to help Sans and make dragging him easier for the smaller skeleton, he was far too drained of magic and could barely lift a finger, let alone walk. He wouldn't mind the slow pace so much if he didn't feel like dead weight. Well, he almost was dead weight. With only 1 HP to his soul, he learned very quickly how to exploit the system to keep that single HP. from being stolen from him. It ended up giving him a large magic reserve, but he'd only use it in situations where he might get hurt. Now more than ever he was glad to have discovered that trick. As he was pulled by his brother, the only thing he could do was smile. He'd saved Sans. His brother was still here because of him. His soul felt lighter, more free.] "I DON'T MIND..." [Papyrus's tired mind struggled to come up with a feasible cover-up story for Sans. After a few more stops, he finally voiced it.] "AND... THANKS FOR SAVING ME, M'LORD... I WOULD HAVE DIED IF YOU HADN'T TAKEN THAT BLOW... I'M SORRY ABOUT YOUR CLAVICLE... BUT YOU GOT THEM, M'LORD..." [He gave the other a weak smile.]

**SF! Sans:** *Sans smiled back at Papyrus. It still amazed him how his brother followed his lead so unquestionably. But he was sure Papyrus knew if Sans told the truth the tall skeleton would be drafted, and with one HP, he probably wouldn't last long. The last stretch before they made it home was surprisingly easy... too easy. Sans just shrugged it off as him being warmed up and catching a second wind. Finally they made it inside, and Sans dragged his wounded brother onto the couch and went into the kitchen to text Alphys about the dead human and how the soul was still by the body. As he rummaged through the fridge for leftover lasagna it hit him. Something was missing. He couldn't put his phalange on it, but something happened, even though he was still alive, something inside him didn't survive the attack. He always thought monsters in a near death situation felt more alive afterwards, but Sans felt strangely numb. He still felt things, like love for his brother, but not much else. After the leftovers were reheated Sans pulled up a chair besides his brother, and the numbness went away. Sans started feeding him... just like how Papyrus had fed him. It was incredible how just 48 hours could change so much.* "please promise me you won't do that again papyrus." *Sans scolded again between bites.* "not just because i lov--care about you, but then we would have both ended up dead, pap. when i was watching you fight, i was so sure i was going to see you die, and i was just going to sit helplessly and watch. there was something strange about that human. it was like they knew exactly what move i was going to make..."

**Swapfell!Papyrus:** [Papyrus blinked in place of a nod. His mouth was still full of food, so he didn't want to be rude and talk. Still, as Sans spoke of the human, a nagging feeling started eating away at him. He knew what it wanted. It wanted him to come clean about that human. About how it had been tormenting him through countless resets. Sometimes they'd be kind, but other times... The memory of a golden hallway and the pain of being the last line of defense before the world ended flashed in front of him. He was glad Sans hadn't seen that memory. Papyrus opened his mouth, as if to speak, but no sound escaped him. He wanted to tell Sans, but what could he say? That he'd seen Sans die countless times and had died several times himself in alternate timelines? Sans wouldn't believe him. Or maybe it would be like the lasagna and Sans would criticize his inability to save his brother from dying. No, Papyrus couldn't tell Sans. He didn't want his brother to worry any more than he already did. He closed his mouth, turning his gaze to the floor.]

**SF! Sans:** *Something was up. Papyrus was skilled at many things, but keeping secrets was not one of them. As soon as the plate was empty Sans placed it on a nearby coffee table and sat on the couch by his precious brother. Sans couldn't bear to feel numb again, even for the short trip to the kitchen and back to the living room. Why was he feeling like not all of him was alive? His HP was normal, when he touched his clavicle it still hurt. He seemed care less about the pain from it, but it still hurt. This wasn't a dream, or a nightmare.* "i feel like you have something you want to say to me. if this is true then now is your time to speak. this is not the time for games. you understand the full gravity of this situation, right papyrus? there is a human soul not even a mile away, we might be able to finally leave the underground. this is a delicate time, any detail, even if it seems unimportant, could be the difference between life and death." *Sans stroked the side of the injured skeleton’s face and smiled as Papyrus leaned into the touch as he always did. It was nice to see that again*


	12. He couldn't keep that knowledge

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~~As much as it pains me to say this, this fic will be ending early. No, not this chapter. I have a stopping point planned. But the reason I say this is because of my partner. I won't go into details, partially because I don't fully understand them myself, but from what I do understand, Fifi is taking a break. To my understanding, it's a combination of writer's block and personal things. Please, if you have the time, send a nice comment or two to fifithemantis on Tumblr.~~
> 
> ~~In any case, please enjoy this chapter, and the few that will follow. In the event that Fifi returns and wants to continue our RP, then I will pick up the chapters where I'll leave them. I just feel like stopping at the point I plan to (again, not this chapter) would be best, rather than leaving it unfinished.~~
> 
> Disregard that.

**Swapfell!Papyrus:** [His sockets were closed, but he knew he couldn't keep that knowledge from his brother much longer. He took an uneasy breath, trying to quell his nervousness with mixed results. Steeling himself, he spoke in a low tone. Like a child who had just woken from a nightmare.] "...YOU REMEMBER THE ...NIGHTMARE MY SOUL SHOWED YOU LAST NIGHT, RIGHT?" [He paused, but ultimately decided to continue.] "THAT WASN'T JUST SOME REOCCURRING NIGHTMARE, SANS. THAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED. THAT HUMAN CAN RESET TIME. I'VE SEEN IT HAPPEN OVER AND OVER. THEY KEEP TURNING BACK TIME AND PLAYING WITH US LIKE WE'RE JUST TOYS. THEY..." [He'd started trembling by this point, and he refused to look at Sans directly.] "THEY'VE TAKEN US TO THE SURFACE BEFORE. ALL OF US! YOU, ME, QUEEN TORIEL, ALPHYS, UNDYNE, EVEN KING ASGORE... BUT THEN... THEY STARTED KILLING US. I'VE... I... YOU..." [He trailed off, unable to speak through his sobbing.] "I'VE S-SEEN YOU DIE, SANS... S-SO MANY T-TIMES... I... I C-COULDN'T LET YOU D-DIE AGAIN... NOT THIS T-TIME... THIS IS THE F-FIRST TIME WE... I C-COULDN'T LOSE THIS... I DON'T W-WANT TO GO B-BACK TO WHAT IT WAS LIKE B-BEFORE... I DON'T WANT..." [He leaned forward, resting his skull on Sans. Tears fell freely from his sockets as he wept. He'd never told anyone about this before, not even in past resets. Still, it was almost freeing having someone else know about the torment he'd had to endure. Especially when that someone was the one person he held closest to his soul.]

 **SF! Sans:** *For a long time, Sans was speechless. He had died before. Everyone had died before. Even Papyrus. And they had seen the surface... The sun... What would Papyrus look like bathed in sunlight? In stars? Had they ever made love in other timelines? Was this going to be reset? Sans's endless train of questions was interrupted by his brother’s sobbing. He cradled his brother’s head, stroking his skull in a futile attempt to pacify him. Maybe it was because he never experienced this, but Sans felt surprisingly calm. Even if it was an uneasy calmness. Though Sans hated seeing his brother cry. Even though he couldn't even begin to fathom the hell that his brother went through, he just wanted to comfort him.* "but despite all the resets, despite dying again and again, we always end up together. even if we die a hundred times, we still end up with each other. and if you remember this and everything gets reset, then you will know how important you are to me... " *Now wasn't the time to tell Papyrus about the empty feeling inside him. He just wanted to stroke him and hold him close, take the pain away from Papyrus's soul and make his hell go away.* "how is your magic, brother? do i need to call undyne?" *Did it even matter? Was it all going to be reset anyways?*

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** "I DON'T W-WANT TO GO B-BACK... N-NOT AFTER THIS... [He couldn't stop sobbing. At some point, though, he ran out of tears to shed, and those violent sobs that wracked his whole body dulled to small hiccups. He didn't know how to feel. He'd kept that secret through countless resets. This timeline was a bundle of new, it seemed. New relationship, new secrets to share, new roles...] "...M-MY MAGIC IS F-FINE. ...THE LASAGNA SH-SHOULD START HELP-PING SOON..." [He didn't want to leave Sans's side. He knew how this worked. He'd get a little bit of relaxation, then he'd get sent back a few days. It was always like that. Sometimes it'd be instant, other times it would be a few days. But it always happened.]

 **SF! Sans:** *The dry sobbing was killing Sans. He hated feeling so helpless, so out of control... At least he was going to forget once everything reset... Or was he? Did he know about this in other timelines? Or did he only forget when he died? All these questions without answers. And all Sans could do was hold Papyrus close.* "i know this is difficult for you. i can't even begin to imagine... but you must not cry." *Sans broke the hug to observe Papyrus's devastated expression. He tried to wipe a tear away but found his thumb dry* "look at you... you don't even have any tears left. it doesn't matter what will happen or what has happened, brother. i'm here now, ok?" *Sans was desperate to end the sobs. He wanted his brother’s smile. He just wanted him to be happy, to make him forget. Even if it was just for a moment. While his hand was still rested on Papyrus's face, Sans leaned over and kissed his brother. As if a kiss could get rid of all the living nightmares Papyrus had and would go through.*

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** [Papyrus leaned into his brother's touch, like he always did. It did help soothe him a little bit, but the kiss helped a lot more. The feeling of Sans's teeth pressing against his own never stopped being amazing. It made his soul skip a pulse as a warm feeling came over him. It was strange how just a single kiss could charge one's magic reserves so quickly. Then again, it could have also been the lasagna. He pressed against the kiss, backing off only when Sans did, then gazed into those gorgeous eye sockets his brother possessed.] "...YOU'RE HERE NOW..." [The echo of those three words held such power. Hearing it said twice, solidifying the truth in those words, it was surprisingly comforting. Yes, a reset was probably coming, but that was in the future. Whether that future was a few seconds from now or a few days, Sans was here. The brother that loved him as much as he loved his brother. The brother he'd defied fate to protect. He was here now. And he would stay here until now became several days ago. He wasn't alone for now. And that thought calmed his hiccups, and quelled his sadness, and diluted his fears. That thought brought the faintest of smiles back to the younger skeleton's face.]

 **SF! Sans:** *It was the first kiss the brothers shared since the incident, the first kiss since Sans founded out he was soon going to forget how to love again. That kiss was like the scent of blood to a shark. Any minute now, this all could end. They had to figure out how to end this hell or constant resetting. Sans couldn't waste any time... every second a precious gem. A precious, magic, red and orange heart shaped gem... That beautiful smile curved on his brother’s mouth, and the way his gold tooth would glint every time Sans saw him grin was the final straw. He stole a second kiss, a little deeper and longer than the first, his mouth playfully teasing for more before separating again, Sans's sockets intensely studying Papyrus 's expression.* "so we never did anything like this in any other resets, papyrus? i must admit that if I were in your position i may have taken advantage of it..." *Sans kissed him again. He knew this probably wasn't the most appropriate time to be lewd, but he couldn't help but think there would be no other time. Sans didn't break the third kiss until the older brother had repositioned himself so that he was on top of Papyrus, his legs carefully straddling him. Trying not to touch any recently damaged bones.* "and you never told me about the timelines before either?"

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** [Papyrus looked up at his brother, his back now to the couch cushions. There was a blush of red and orange glowing on his cheekbones, but after three kisses, laying in this position with Sans on top of him made it hard not to blush. He reached up, letting his hands cup the side of his brother's mandible, then shook his head at the questions asked.] "I NEVER KNEW HOW TO APPROACH YOU ABOUT IT... BOTH THINGS. [The younger skeleton sighed.] BECAUSE I NEVER WANTED TO HURT YOU, BUT NOTHING I DID REALLY SEEMED TO WORK. THE COLLAR AND LEASH IDEA WAS A FLUKE..." [He trailed off, letting his hand fall.] "AND... HOW DO YOU GO ABOUT TELLING YOUR BROTHER THAT YOU'VE SEEN HIM DIE OVER AND OVER? AND THAT YOU'VE DIED TOO? AND THAT IT DIDN'T MATTER BECAUSE THE TIMELINES GOT RESET?"

 **SF! Sans:** *He could see by his brother’s expression that he also had a lot on his mind. So much had happened, and it all seemed to start with that collar and leash. But the biggest question of all was, 'now what?' What had Papyrus already done on his own to try to stop the resets? What could Sans do to help? Could he help? Sans was still trying to get over the surreal feeling that he shouldn't even be alive, how the world had changed drastically. It was horrifying, but just the slightest bit refreshing. He really did know his precious baby brother more than anyone else.* "well, i'm glad I know now... even if it means forgetting any minute. and if things do reset, i want you to tell me everything again. you'll do that for me, right? at least you won't have to suffer alone... how long have you been experiencing these resets? is there anything we can do to stop them? is that what you do in that back room? try and figure out this... this time loop?" *He knew it was wrong, that every second counted, but Sans's hands seemed to move on their own. Even at such an inappropriate time, Sans's touch was still exploring the tall skeleton underneath him, carefully tracing the sensitive bones from over his clothing. If every second was precious, and Sans had to forget again, would he ever get another chance to touch Papyrus like this again?*

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** [How much longer would it be until the world reset? How much longer could the younger brother lay there with Sans so close and expect pleasure from his touch instead of just pain? He didn't know, and frankly, he wasn't sure he wanted to. They said ignorance was bliss, so while not knowing when he'd be ripped apart from the one he loved was a scary thought, knowing when it would happen wouldn't change anything. He had to savor every moment with his brother, because he didn't know when it would end.] "I'LL TELL YOU AGAIN, SANS. I PROMISE." [It was funny how desperation affected one's magic. It seemed to spark up wherever Sans's hands touched his bones. Little wisps of red-orange magic curled around the older brother's hands harmlessly, giving off little lights and sending little jolts of magic to him, almost like a transfer of magical energy.] "BUT THESE RESETS HAVE BEEN HAPPENING FOR MONTHS, AT LEAST. I DON'T THINK WE CAN STOP THEM THOUGH. THAT'S THE PROBLEM. WE'RE NOT THE ONES IN CONTROL. IT'S THAT HUMAN. KILL THEM, AND THEY RESET. BE NICE TO THEM AND THEY RESET. IT'S A CYCLE THAT WE CAN'T STOP..." [He paused, letting his brother's touch wash over him, calming him down.] "AND THAT MACHINE... THAT'S MY PATHETIC ATTEMPT AT TRYING TO FIND A HAPPY ENDING. I THOUGHT... I THOUGHT I COULD GO TO A TIMELINE WHERE THE HUMAN TOOK US TO THE SURFACE..." [Papyrus's smile grew sad.] "IT'S FUNNY THOUGH. EVERYTHING IN THAT ROOM STAYS THE WAY IT IS EVEN AFTER A RESET. I DON'T GET IT BUT... BUT..." [Slowly, realization crept up on Papyrus, and his sockets widened. His face lit up with excitement, and in that excitement, he sat up and placed his hands on Sans's shoulders.] "SANS! WE SHOULD GO THERE! IF THE HUMAN RESETS AND YOU'RE IN THAT ROOM... I'M NOT SURE IF IT'LL WORK, BUT YOU MIGHT NOT FORGET!"

 **SF! Sans:** *Sans’s face positively glowed when Papyrus told him about the room. Sans celebrated the rare happy moment by suddenly pulling Papyrus into his arms and giving him a tight hug* "stars pap! that may actually work! it's certainly worth a shot!" *Though he had some serious doubts about it working. It was, at the very least, a possible safe haven for the two brothers. They could maybe move a bed and some furniture there and... Then Sans's phone went off. He didn't want to answer it. Not really because he didn't want to leave Papyrus's side, but because he knew whoever it was, he was going to have to lie. He was going to have to pretend to care. It was funny. It used to matter so much more to him that he kept up appearances. But it seemed like such a hassle now. Had the phone not been in his pants pocket, he doubted he would have answered it.*  
"hello, yes? what is it?!" Sans barked a little too impenitently into the phone, but then his tone quickly changed to a more respectful one once Alphys’s gruff muffled voice barked back.* "yes... yes i'm aware... ... ...when? tonight? ... ... ...i see... i'll be there... ... ...no, i can't show up earlier, i'm injured... grrrrr. yes, another fracture... i don't like your tone, alphys. how many human souls have _you_ brought the queen!? now i must go, i will see you tonight!"  
*When Sans hung up the phone he made a move to throw his phone and break it, but thought better. Only Papyrus's affectionate closeness seemed to calm his rage. Sans flopped his head onto Papyrus's chest and sighed.* "i don't understand why it's necessary that i present the damned soul to the queen... at least you can come with me." *Sans had no intention on leaving Papyrus's side, but the dread of the human deciding to reset without being able to test out the room lingered in Sans's mind.*

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** [Papyrus hugged Sans in return. Maybe there was hope yet. ...And then Sans's phone rang. Papyrus looked to the pocket that the device was kept, a sense of almost dread crashing over him. He stayed silent while Sans talked to who he later found out to be Alphys, speaking only after he'd hung up.] "...IT'S A HUGE HONOR..." [Of course, any congratulatory tone that would have been in his voice was replaced with a dull drone. Every second that ticked by added the chance of a reset happening, and if they were going to the Capital, then that added risk. He didn't want Sans to forget. Not this time. Not ever again.] "I'LL STAY WITH YOU FOR AS LONG AS I CAN, SANS..." [This would normally be the part where he kissed Sans's hand, but with the threat of a reset looming over him, he just dove straight for Sans's teeth. He couldn't be bothered by formality. Sans had even told him to break the rules. He was sure Sans wouldn't mind a stolen kiss.]

 **SF! Sans:** *Sans scowled at Papyrus's attempt to be optimistic about something they both knew was a huge gamble.* "save your 'formalities' for the queen. we both know all the reasons why this ceremony has no honor." *But Sans couldn't help but wonder if perhaps he would still remember through a reset even without being in the room. After all, Papyrus _had_ remembered dying. Sans was about to say this but found his mouth blocked by Papyrus's. At first Sans’s sockets shot open in surprise and he sucked in a sharp gasp, but it didn't take long before he relaxed into the kiss, eagerly returning it. Perhaps too eagerly... Sans let both his hands cup and caress the sides of Papyrus's face so he couldn't move away. If Sans had to forget, it would be much better to forget in his brother’s arms and with their teeth pressed together than at the castle, where the two skeletons would have to act as the public saw them.* "you know..." *Sans breathed playfully, finally allowing the kiss to break,* "it's only around noon. we have some time to kill. what would you like to do with the time we have?"

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** [Papyrus gazed at his brother with all the love and affection he could muster. As if a simple gaze could prevent Sans from forgetting everything they'd done. Everything they'd shared... Time. There was so many things he wanted to do with Sans. Most of them involved Sans's bedroom or the bathroom again, but some of them were so desperate that it was right here on their couch Deciding on one thing was tough, but Papyrus somehow made the choice. He placed one of his hands on one of Sans's, then slowly pulled it away from his skull, down his cervical vertebrae, and along his sternum until he let it rest at the bottom of that bone. From within its cage, the red and orange soul started to glow faintly.] "...I WANT TO SHOW YOU THE SURFACE."

 **SF! Sans:** *He couldn't help but chuckle softly and pleasurably as his hand was guided by Papyrus along his anatomy. He loved when his normally submissive brother took control. It made Sans feel like he did the right thing by continuing to let Papyrus get close to him. That maybe Papyrus really did genuinely love him more than a brother, and Sans hadn't conditioned him from a young age to want to love him physically from all the years of physical abuse and emotional neglect. And----, oh god... the bottom of the breastbone... He could feel the warmth of Papyrus's magic beckoning to him from underneath the cloth and organic cage. Then Papyrus said something strange. He looked up from his sternum up to the tall skeleton’s face, the small guardsman's face pulled into wild disbelief.* "you--- you can really do that? today? how?"

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** [The younger skeleton smiled at his brother. He was a little surprised the older hadn't caught on, but Papyrus didn't put it past him. Sans probably had a lot on his mind, and with good reason. It was understandable. Papyrus squeezed Sans's hand gently.] "MY MEMORIES. IF MY SOUL BEHAVES, THEN MAYBE... MAYBE IT'LL SHOW YOU MY MEMORIES OF THE SURFACE. I KNOW IT WOULDN'T TECHNICALLY BE THE SAME THING BUT..." [He trailed off. Before Sans could react though, he added] "BUT NOT HERE. LET'S DO IT IN THE BACK ROOM. MAYBE YOU'LL KEEP IT IF WE DO IT THERE..."

 **SF! Sans:** *Sans felt his face blush, embarrassed by his own foolish incompetence. Of course, Papyrus had really experienced it. The surface... the sky, the sun... _real_ stars. And sans had too. But he just didn't remember any of it. But now he had a chance to know it. To possibly even remember it, in a way it might even be better. Since he was going to see it through his lover’s soul. Even the bad memories felt good when they touched. Sans felt an excitement rush through him that could only be comparable to a child on christmas morning. Sans smiled widely, even through his humiliation, and eagerly kissed Papyrus. Then Sans hopped off of the couch, still holding his brother’s hand, tugging on it as if he was a kid again. No one except Papyrus would ever see such behavior in the normally dignified skeleton, who made it a note to avoid youthful behavior at all costs. But there he was, eagerly leading his brother as fast as he could to the back room.*

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** [Papyrus was taken aback by Sans's behavior. Still, it was a pleasant surprise. Seeing Sans act like his size was something the taller skeleton found to be completely adorable. Of course, he wouldn't say that out loud. Even so, he couldn't help but chuckle as he was lead by his eager brother to the back room. He flicked on a light, illuminating the mostly bare room. There were papers scattered about the counter, and that machine in the corner. Neither appeared to have been touched in some time. Papyrus glanced at that machine longingly. He'd almost got it to work once, but it had caught fire after a test run and Papyrus had given up in his rage. He shifted his gaze back to Sans. His brother. His lover.] "I DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH CONTROL I HAVE OVER THIS MEMORY SHARING... I JUST HOPE YOU GET SOMETHING FROM THE SURFACE." [He took a seat on the floor, shrugging off his hoodie then slipping his shirt off of himself. Just like he'd done in the bathroom last night. The memory of that made his cheekbones burn bright with blush. Much brighter than normal. That lasagna seemed to work wonders for Papyrus's magic reserves. At this rate, his radius and ulna would be healed by tomorrow. If tomorrow didn't turn into last week, anyway.]

 **SF! Sans:** *Sans hadn't been in the back room for a long time. It's layout and neglect made Sans think of crushed hopes and regret. His boots clicked loudly against the dusty tile as he explored the small area. The gigantic machine covered in a tarp in the corner was what he was most curious about, and he almost asked about it until he saw his blushing brother on the floor stripping for him, his broken arm seemed to be working surprisingly well considering he had almost shattered it just a couple of hours ago. Normally Sans wasn't very fond of this room. He had only really found it useful for when he was looking for his brother. Until a couple of months ago, Papyrus was usually able to be found in there. But knowing what he knew now, the gloomy little fluorescent room felt like a real home. Somewhere the two brothers could be safe. And Sans never wanted to leave.* "mweh heh heh... you're so eager to be touched, eh papyrus?" *Sans teased, though Sans was the one who was eager to touch him... those obscene bones. He wanted to run his phalanges and tongue over every single one of them, until they were permanently memorized into his very being.* "tell me, what do you want me to do to you?" *Sans already knew the answer. He just loved hearing his brother whimper and beg for it. Sans was generally impatient, but when it came to tormenting Papyrus he seemed to be able to restrain himself.*

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** [Papyrus was doing his best to keep calm. Somehow, though, he felt even more nervous than he had been in the bathroom. Maybe it was because of the pressure. They were working on borrowed time. Any moment now, that human was going to reset everything again. If they reset a few minutes from now, maybe Sans wouldn't forget, but even using this room as a safe haven was a gamble. There was no guarantee that Sans would retain any of this after the reset. This could just be time wasted chasing an impossible dream. With all of that in mind though, Papyrus still wanted to show Sans the surface. If this was going to be his last time him and his brother could be as intimate as this, then Papyrus wanted it to be worthwhile. His memories of the surface were some of his happiest before two nights ago. If he could relive them with his brother again...] "I WANT YOU TO TOUCH MY SOUL... PLEASE, SANS... MY LORD..."

 **SF! Sans:** *Sans glanced at the notes scattered on Papyrus's desk. They were mostly covered with complex formulas and equations that Sans couldn't even begin to comprehend, but occasionally scrawled in large desperate lettering were the words 'don't forget'. That, combined with the fearful urgency that flavored his brother’s voice was too much for Sans. He knew just as well as Papyrus that any second now he could be back to his old ways, and Sans could go back to being disgusted with himself for wanting to do what he was about to do with his younger brother. What he had done. What he may never get to do again... He kneeled in front of Papyrus and removed his gloves. And smiled.* "as you wish, master." *He closed the gap between them with his teeth against Papyrus's, and let his bare hands get to work. He wanted to dive into his soul right away, but he couldn't resist caressing the sides of his ribcage, running over the bones with long soft touches, grazing his shoulder blade and tracing a neat line back to the bottom of his breastbone. His pace grew more urgent as he felt the inside of his sternum. He could feel every flash of warmth Papyrus's soul gave off, and could feel his own soul beat in response. He couldn't stand it anymore. Without ever breaking his touch, Sans finally went in and stroked Papyrus's bleeding heart.*

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** [Just like with the previous body exploration on the couch, Papyrus's magic manifested along the bones at every move Sans made. Every touch, every little caress summoned little wisps of red-orange magic that enveloped his brother's phalanges like smoke. Papyrus didn't quite understand why his magic was acting that way, but he blamed it on the excess magic that his body had been building to aid in healing his arm. Surely though, the magic would dissolve once the injuries were healed. Papyrus wasn't putting too much focus on the display, anyway. Behind the kiss he was sharing, Papyrus was willing his soul to show Sans a surface memory. He didn't care what it was, as long as it was the surface. Hopefully outside, so Sans would get to see the sky, too. And when Sans met his soul, Papyrus's plea was answered.]  
_[Papyrus was standing on a cliff, surrounded by what he recognized as friends. His brother stood on his right and King Asgore on his left. Alphys, Undyne, and even Queen Toriel were also among their lineup, and on the other side of Asgore, though obscured by the king's tunic, was the very human Papyrus had killed not too long ago. They were all gazing at a golden sky. A large orb of light hung low in the sky, and far in the distance was a city. Off to the side, Queen Toriel's voice rang out. "Everyone. This is the beginning of a new era. An era of peace between monsters and humans..." At some point, unknown by Papyrus who initiated the contact, his and Sans's hands had ended up clasped together. The brothers exchanged a glance, and for a split second, Papyrus could have sworn he'd seen Sans smile.]_  
[The memory faded after that, and the Papyrus of the present stared lovingly at the one who'd claimed his soul.]

 **SF! Sans:** *As Sans touched Papyrus's soul, he felt his whole body fill up with light and warmth. It felt incredible, as always, that same feeling of completeness combined with the spice of eroticism. But... he didn't see anything. He could tell by the blissful expression on his brother’s face that he was sending him visions of the surface. It must have been beautiful... Sans did his best to hide the suprised confusion in his face, instead feeling somewhat jealous. No way would he want to disappoint his glowing brother, who felt even warmer and brighter than he ever had. Sans wanted to be there with him. He wanted to remember and sweeten up the happy memory. Out of desperation, Sans wrapped his hand around the heart. Nothing... well not nothing, Sans could feel Papyrus's soul skip in the added stimulation, causing his own soul to release more pleasure. But no sun... no sky... no stars... Sans squeezed the soul lightly, feeling it pulse in his hand. It felt hotter than usual, but still no memory. He squeezed harder. The red orange soul burned so hot it caused Sans to release a whimper into Papyrus's teeth. Maybe if their souls touched... Sans wanted to cry. Not because he couldn't see the surface, but because he couldn't bring Papyrus the sweet connection he desperately wanted. Maybe if they pressed their souls together...?*

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** [Papyrus moaned around their kiss, low at first, but growing in volume and desperation the more pressure Sans gave his soul. Memories flashed through his mind like pictures in a scrapbook. The first time they got a house together (an apartment), ice cream on the beach, stargazing on a cloudless night, hangouts at a movie theater, play dates with the human, it all came flooding back. It felt so warm... Really warm. Warm enough to get him panting. He needed to cool down, badly. Thankfully, the stone floor was an easy source of chill. He didn't want to just leave Sans where he was, though, so the younger skeleton wrapped his arms around Sans's lumbar vertebrae and pulled the older down with him, letting Sans rest on top of him. The cold floor did help a little bit. But now that Sans's weight was on him, he couldn't keep his hands from exploring Sans's body. Trailing his phalanges over the bones with a gentle tenderness while also supplying a sort of desperate undertone that mirrored his fears about the inevitable.]

 **SF! Sans:** *That expression on Papyrus's face... it was like nothing he had ever seen before. More importantly, the heat he was giving off. Sans would have let his soul go if he hadn't felt so desperate. Even though Sans couldn't see what memories were making Papyrus make such impassioned sounds, the feeling it gave Sans was nothing short of spectacular. The next thing Sans knew he was on the floor on top of the taller brother, their fiery kiss still unbroken, their conjured tongues now wrestling as Papyrus frantically caressed him. Even his mouth felt like lava... everything just felt so right... except he couldn't see Papyrus's memories! He couldn't stand it anymore! Maybe... maybe Papyrus could see his memories still? Without letting go of or even easing the grip on Papyrus's soul, he reached reached into his own chest with his free hand and blindly grabbed his cold, wet blue and red core. Why was it so cold? Was it something about the room? But Papyrus's squirming and the delicious sounds he was producing kept Sans from lingering on the abnormality, and he hastily plunged his other hand into Papyrus's soul’s enclosure and merged the two. The feeling of fire and ice intermingling created a sensation that caused the older brother to let out an aroused scream into Papyrus's mouth. Sans had to fight with all his willpower to not peak right then and there.*

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** [Sans's soul, so cold to the touch, meshed perfectly with Papyrus's fiery hot one. He didn't understand why their souls had taken on a temperature, but the sheer amount of pure ecstasy and pleasure it created made his mind almost go numb. He cried out from the relief and pleasure of it, some magic sparking off of his bones like electricity. With all of that pleasure, it took the younger a moment to realize that something was missing. Sans's memories. This was the part where some of Sans's memories would leak through, right? It had happened the last time their souls fused. So then why wasn't it working now? What had changed? Was it the temperature of their souls? Or maybe it was the excess magic Papyrus had... There were so many possibilities, and none of them could be fixed easily. And that thought brought tears to Papyrus's sockets. He wanted to see. He wanted to share their memories. That was a special thing they had and he wasn't going to let the threat of a reset get in the way of that. One of Papyrus's hands met Sans’s inside his rib cage, and he, too, squeezed their souls, trying desperately to coax a memory from him. But no matter what he did, it didn't seem to work. Why? Why? Why wouldn't it work?]

 **SF! Sans:** *Could a monster die from soul-bonding? The sensation and the wild passion was driving him mad. Papyrus's rib cage was stuffed with appendages grasping at the two souls inside of it. It was a good thing Sans was so small, otherwise he might have found himself stuck in there. But Sans could barely think at all. He was standing on a tightrope, one wrong move and he would fall apart. He wanted to last as long as he could. The only thing that kept him even remotely grounded in reality was when he opened his eyes for a second and saw the tearful disappointment on his brother’s face at the discovery of the loss of their memory sharing. The small older brother let go of the icy heat with one hand and carefully pulled it out of the cavity, the other one still intertwined with the souls and Papyrus's phalanges just like the first time. But this time he didn't use the hand to dry Papyrus’s sockets. Instead he used it to touch Papyrus in new places. He snaked his hand down Papyrus's pants and fingered his pubis, sacrum, and tailbone. He wondered why he never tried that earlier. Those bones felt particularly satisfying to play with. Sans squeezed even harder on Papyrus's and his soul and he spread the gap in his fingers, allowing the taller skeleton to weave his digits in between his older brother’s and help him punish the disobedient little hearts.*  
"i love you" *Sans growled gutturally into Papyrus's teeth. He wanted to say more, but in the heat of the moment and in his fiery determination to cheer up his brother, he repeated those three words over and over again, occasionally chanting Papyrus's name. Sans would say anything to make his brother smile as they raced toward their climax.*

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** [This was supposed to work. The memories they shared before worked fine, so why did they have to stop at the most crucial moment? Papyrus didn't want to cry. Not now. Not during something so beautiful as this. Even without their memory sharing, it still felt amazing, and he knew he was getting close to the end. He could feel his soul building the more it pulsed with his brother's. Sans's ice and Papyrus's fire, both locked between entwined phalanges and buried inside Papyrus's rib cage. Even beyond that, Sans had started exploring his lower half. Papyrus couldn't help but gasp and moan as his brother played with some of his most sensitive bones. There was just so much, and he almost came right there. But no! He'd last as long as he could for his brother. He didn't want to repeat last night and climax before Sans again. This would probably be their last time together like this before the world reset again. He didn't want the one memory Sans might somehow keep to be one of disappointment. Still, a small part of him couldn't help but think about their memory sharing. Why now? Papyrus used the hand around his fiery soul and laced its phalanges between the spaces in Sans's, giving their souls an equally painful squeeze. He needed to punish them for failing. He felt almost betrayed by them. And it wasn't until Sans started speaking that he broke that train of thought. Papyrus's gaze, filled with love and hazy with lust, returned Sans's. Those three beautiful words, the ones that had started all of this, were being spoken by the one person he cherished more than anyone in the Underground. And as he felt himself getting closer and closer to the end, Papyrus could only return the gesture. He chanted and echoed those same words with all the love he could muster.] "I LOVE YOU, SANS. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, BROTHER." [And as he finally let his tears cascade down the sides of his skull, he could only feel joy. He was smiling. He was happy. He didn't care that he might get sent back in the next few minutes. Right here, right now, his brother loved him the same. And that's all that mattered.]

 **SF! Sans:** "papyrus." *Sans whispered. Though he must have said his lover’s name a hundred time already, this time he said it with purpose, so he could be heard. He kept as close as he could as he silently guided the arms which so desperately held on to their bonded souls, like their life depended on it, out of the rib cage and held the tri colored orb of hot and cold light between them. Sans rewarded Papyrus's undivided attention and unquestioning obedience with a loving kiss on the brow. Their breath was still growing more unstable and passionate with each gulp of dusty air.* "p...papyrus... if... if i forget. make me remember. promise me." *His breath hitched and every word he said was strained and shaky. But for some reason in the dense fog of his lust riddled mind his heart kept begging him not to forget, he now shared so much with his brother, it hurt but felt so liberating at the same time. He peppered his brother’s face with the most tender of kisses. As if his kisses could heal all the physical and emotional scars that lined the once smooth bone. Sans wanted what he had the first night; he wanted enough. Enough wouldn't just be an orgasm shared with his beloved. It would be close. But now enough was seeing, experiencing, the vast infinity of the sky and all it's wonders that he had only heard stories about. To see Papyrus before him, with the whole universe on the horizon, an endless cascade of time and space at their feet, but to have his brother right there before him. His Papyrus.* "promise me!" *Sans half screamed, half sobbed, his own tears falling to mingle and bond with the ones on his brother’s skull. He raised their hands to his mouth and licked the molten ice off their digits while staring into and through his brother’s sockets with a gaze just as intense as their souls. He grabbed his brother’s pelvis tighter and curled forward into his brother’s rib cage. He was going to come. Even if it was the last time, even if he never wanted it to happen, it was going to happen. Sans was a time bomb that was going be triggered to explode with a promise.*

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** [His brother. His only brother. Papyrus couldn't bear to see him cry. The tears from Sans's eyes reflected the light of their souls, shining beautifully, and while Sans busied himself with lapping at their magic, Papyrus licked those tears away. They were cold, just like his soul and bones. He kissed each of Sans's cheekbones as he finished, then in a breathy but no less loving or determined voice, he responded to his brother's plea.] "I PROMISE, SANS! I'LL DO WHATEVER IT TAKES TO MAKE YOU REMEMBER!"  
[Then, as if those words had unlocked some barricade, Papyrus felt himself give way to the pleasure. He screamed Sans's name, clinging to their souls with one hand while holding Sans close with the other. He felt his soul and his magic burst with happiness. This wouldn't be his last time. He'd make his brother remember. He swore it on the very soul that burned so hot between their hands. Every reset. Not just the next one, or the one after that. He'd remind the older every time he forgot.]

 **SF! Sans:** *Finally, again, and possibly for the last time in his current line of memories, Sans could feel his whole body tense up. As the older brother sung back his lover’s name it felt like the whole room was lit only by their souls. The determination in his brother’s sweet sleepy voice and the lingering tingle of warmth on his formerly cold cheekbones was the last thing he experienced of his world when suddenly the scene around him transformed.*  
_*Suddenly the air he sucked in felt freer, freer and more crisp and new than he had ever tasted, and when he opened his eyes, it was heaven. No, better than heaven. He wasn't just seeing Papyrus’s memory, he was there. The sand felt like the earth was trying to pull him into a hug. The ocean smelled like salt and the life of the infinite number creatures on and in it. And framing the face his one and only, there it was. Half buried in the ocean and half stretched out to the heavens, was the sun.*_  
*It was just a flash though, and before Sans could really think Sans was already back on the floor of the dingy back room, finishing his shared climax. All Sans could do was pull his hand out of his brother’s pants and wrap it around him, holding on for dear life as he gasped for air and whimpered.*


	13. His brother was strong

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~~The next chapter will be the last, until further notice. Again, I would like to apologize to those who were looking forward to the rest, but again, I feel it is better that I end it there, rather than continue and leave this unfinished. That aside, please, enjoy this chapter, and please remember to thank Fifithemantis on Tumblr for playing such a wonderful Swapfell Sans.~~
> 
> Disregard this as well.

**Swapfell!Papyrus:** [His hold on his brother was strong, despite the wave of exhaustion that had crashed into him once their climax had ended. Sans's whimpers had the younger skeleton massaging the other's vertebrae in an attempt to quell those sounds. Something Sans had seen had caused this, and the idea unsettled him greatly. The last memory that had been "pulled" from him had been one of him and Sans watching the sunrise from the roof of the surface home they'd bought. Surely that wouldn't cause such a reaction from the older brother, and Papyrus hadn't seen anything from him during their climax... Well, it didn't really matter to Papyrus. The thing that had his attention right now was his brother, and even as he slowly started to relax his grip on their dripping souls, Papyrus did everything he could to support his brother and reassure him.] "I LOVE YOU, SANS. I WON'T LET A RESET KEEP US APART." [That was his brother's wish, and that was a promise Papyrus intended to keep.]

 **SF! Sans:** "papyrus!!!---i--- did you---" *Sans gasped, his breath still not quite having returned to him. He was too in awe to smile, his eyes wide, almost looking crazy. The small skeleton, who had seen and been though so much in his years, still was baffled by what had just happened.* "oh brother! i saw it! did you see it?! oh did you see it?!" *Sans eagerly dove into his brother’s embrace even more, almost forgetting about the souls they were still holding.* "i always thought the sky would be blue and the sun would be high up in the sky... but... wowzers!!! i never thought the sky could be red and pink and!!! the surface is incredible!" *Sans was as giddy as a schoolgirl. He always wanted to live on the surface, and now he wanted it more than ever.* "maybe... maybe the human sacrificed their soul so the queen could finally break the barrier? maybe this time they don't plan on resetting? we could live on the surface! maybe see real stars and and not have to forget and... and... papyrus," *He grasped his brother’s face and held it close to his own.* "stars... i love you so much..."

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** [Hearing Sans sound so happy... Papyrus could hardly remember the last time that had happened. He smiled, big and bright, and couldn't help himself as he nuzzled the smaller skeleton. So he had seen something. He'd shown Sans the surface. He'd succeeded for once.] "I SAW IT, BRO. THOSE TIMES WHEN WE LIVED ON THE SURFACE, WE'D GET UP AT SUNRISE AND WATCH. THEN WE'D STAY UP LATE SO WE COULD LOOK AT THE STARS." [He didn't have the heart to tell Sans that it wasn't how it worked. That every time the human died, they would reset. He couldn't tear it away from Sans, so he just focused on the words after Sans’s hopeful yet completely illogical tangent. He smiled, sneakily letting his tongue lap at Sans's teeth in an affectionate manner.] "I LOVE YOU TOO, SANS. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH MORE THAN THE SURFACE."

 **SF! Sans:** *He did his best to ignore the subtle sadness in his brother’s voice. Deep down, Sans knew the truth. That he had to forget while his brother carried the burden and responsibility of their memories all on his own. And Papyrus had such beautiful memories. Sans smirked at the compliment.* "i know you love me more than anything." *Sans said in his typical cocky fashion,* "but i want you to have everything, my pet. i want you to have memories of us making love on the surface, under nothing but the sun and the stars... to the sounds of waves hitting the beach. i want to feel blades of grass tickle our bare bones underneath us..." *Sans felt cheesy saying such things, but he was drunk on Papyrus. Sans still refused to let the soul go. After a bond like that he never wanted to let Papyrus go. Sans returned Papyrus's wet lick with his own tongue. Bringing them together in a long, deep wet kiss.* "we never did anything like this on the surface did we?" *Sans gently squeezed their still bonded soul, sending a shiver up his spine.*

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** [He felt his own spine shiver, but not just from the squeeze on their joined souls. Those images Sans was planting in his mind, those sinful seeds of imagination, made the tall skeleton almost moan, and it wasn't until after they kissed again that he voiced that pleasure.] "NEVER, M'LORD. WE'VE NEVER BEEN THIS CLOSE." [There was a hint of almost sadness in his tone, but it was masked. He was starting to cool off, though his magic was still sparking. Occasionally, a bolt of orange or red magic would jump off of his bones harmlessly. It was surprising his much energy Papyrus still had. After taking that hit and releasing so much during his climax, he thought it would have at least gone back to normal levels...]

 **SF! Sans:** *It was finally then when his already frigid soul started to cool down that he noticed the bizarre abnormality in the magic of the two skeletons. Sans experimentally traced his phalange up Papyrus's humerus, studying the magic spark and smoke under his touch. Papyrus's magic seemed hyper sensitive whereas Sans was beginning to grow numb again, only feeling coldness except for the fire pressed against his ice-like soul. He wondered if it would really be a good idea to see the queen when the two were in such an unstable position. But Sans couldn't afford to not show up, on the off chance that time wouldn't be reset. Still clutching his soul, Sans carefully pulled him and his brother to their feet and snapped an angry and vicious "NO" when Papyrus tried to let go of their hands to return their souls.* "i don't think it's safe to let go brother. haven't you noticed how strangely our magic has been behaving?"

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** [Papyrus froze, the tone of voice Sans used being more than enough to snap him into reality. His magic had been growing more and more hypersensitive as time dragged on. The sheer amount of magic coursing through his marrow was what had made his soul and his bones so hot earlier. And then there was Sans. He'd been colder than the snow on the ground outside.] "I HAVE, SANS..." [Why though? This had never happened before. Not even in the countless resets that Papyrus could remember. He gazed at his brother, his hand clutched right around their souls once again while his sockets held a sort of worry and mild fear within them. His voice trembled, uncertainty leaking into his tone.] "BROTHER... WHAT'S HAPPENING TO US?"

 **SF! Sans:** "there could be any number of reasons..." *Sans spoke in a calm, sure-of-himself voice. Even though he was standing on a tightrope that seemed like it was coming apart strand by strand, he had to stay calm and collected. He felt like it was his responsibility as the older brother to be a source of solace. In truth, it worried him that Papyrus, who by far exceeded the little master in intellect, was baffled by the abnormality in their magic. Sans stroked his brother with his free hand while he hummed thoughtfully.* "it could have to do with the fact that i was supposed to die back there with the human... or because i have knowledge about the unstable timeline? or... perhaps our soul bonding as brothers is screwing with our magic." *Sans doubted it was the latter of the three, but he had to put it out there. Sans had been feeling strange since the first night, but nothing too out of the ordinary. Just a greater sense of empathy and love for Papyrus. Sans wasn't sure why he refused to separate their bond. He just felt like something bad was going to happen if they split. Their core temperatures were already so unstable before they bonded. Papyrus seemed to be the only relief from the mind numbing chill his soul and his very being was experiencing* "it probably was from killing the human if you want my guess. opinions aside... what concerns me now is our bond... i just have a horrible feeling something will happen if we break it. but i don't know how long we can stay bonded for... we might have to find a way to go to the ceremony like this." *Sans was horrified by the idea... but at the same time, with an impending reset, it also sounded like it might be fun.* "what are your thoughts brother?" *The soul oscillated in their phalanges, making Sans twitch slightly.*

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** [That idea gave Papyrus a small blush on his cheekbones. Seeing Queen Toriel while their souls were still bonded sounded embarrassing and thrilling, but also scary. What would the others say if they were found out? Who's rib cage would they hide their souls? Ah, those were questions for later.] "I DON'T THINK IT'S THOSE LAST TWO." [He spoke with an uneasy confidence.] "IF IT'S BECAUSE YOU LEARNED SOMETHING NEW, THEN I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY IT'S AFFECTING ME, TOO. AND... IT WOULD HAVE BEEN DOCUMENTED IF IT WAS BECAUSE OF OUR... INCEST..." [He had read a book about relationships once, about two years ago, and it had had a section about how monsters couldn't reproduce if their souls were too closely related, but that was the extent the book gave. It wasn't like he wanted to give his brother a kid, anyway. That only left one option, but it still didn't settle right with Papyrus. He'd killed that human many times before, and there had been times where they had shown Sans mercy after being covered in dust. So then why? Why now? What had changed? He replayed the last few scenes in his head, trying to figure out what could have possibly happened. At about the third replay, Papyrus realized something. When the human had hit him, he heard his bone crack, but beyond that, there was a subtler crackling sound, like breaking glass…] "SANS... WHEN YOU WERE FIGHTING THAT HUMAN... DID YOU HEAR ANYTHING BREAK? LIKE... …GLASS?" [His voice was uneasy. If what had happened was actually happening...]

 **SF! Sans:** *Sans couldn't help but shudder at the word “incest”. Even though he knew that was the most accurate way to describe the relationship he had with Papyrus, it still was such an ugly word. It reminded the small skeleton that he had to keep their love a secret. Mostly Sans just hated how such beautiful emotions the two brothers shared had to be summed up in such a disgusting, two syllable word.* “like… glass?” *Sans thought hard about his near death experience early that morning. Even though he wanted to place it in the back of his mind and be done with it, he knew it was important to remember. He thought about those moments when he thought he was going to die, how he was never going to see his sweet baby brother again. It hurt. Then the sound of the knife making contact with Papyrus’s arm. Sans almost forgot about it, the way his brother was handling the injury now was as if he had never been hit in the first place. In fact, looking at his brother now, his bones appeared smoother, less fractured… then he remembered. Sans was pretty shaken up, but he did hear it. Something breaking that wasn’t bone. Like the sound of a rock shattering a window.* “y---yes… yes i think i remember… what does it mean? was that the sound of the barrier breaking?” *Sans guessed with desperate optimism, his heart still obsessed with that second he spent on the surface. However Sans already knew this wasn’t the case, the sound of dread in his brother's voice told him what he heard meant something much, much worse.*

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** [Papyrus sighed, dread settling in his soul. He knew what that meant, the tiny sound of shattering glass. It had happened to him before in other timelines. But he had always noticed it and fixed the damage before it got too serious. But after that fight, he'd been too exhausted to mend it, and by the time he got his strength back, he'd forgotten about it. He looked at his brother, his gaze announcing his sorrow and dread before his words had the chance to solidify it.] "BROTHER... OUR SOULS… THAT WAS THEM CRACKING..." [He didn't want to think about what that could mean for them. Having a cracked soul meant that they would be weaker, physically and emotionally. A crackled soul usually meant one was close to death, or had lost the will to live. Depending on the size of the crack, it could be painless or unbearable, but it was usually the later. Papyrus had dealt with cracks in his soul before, but knowing his brother's was cracked too made the thought so much worse. Using a free hand, the younger brother moved to hold the side of the older's face. His touch was gentle, as if Sans himself was made of glass.] "I'M SORRY, SANS. I'M SO, SO SORRY..." [This was all his fault. If he had acted a little quicker, maybe Sans's soul wouldn't have been cracked. Maybe if he'd just let Sans-- no. No, he could never let Sans die. Not again. Not after all they'd been through. This was just too much. It was unfair. Why did everything have to go wrong just when things started to look up? Why?]

 **SF! Sans:** *Sans’s fake smile quickly faded into a very real frown. He knew very little about cracked souls. But he knew enough to understand this was a very, very serious issue. But Sans remained vigilant in remaining calm and collected, for himself, for Papyrus, for every second that ticked ever closer to the ceremony, to the reset, to the beautiful memories of him and Papyrus ending. Sans just hadn’t felt the desire to get mad at Papyrus. He knew that's what he should do… that Papyrus would want to be punished. But Sans felt nothing. Maybe it was because his soul was damaged. There really was only 2 things Sans had any real emotions about. One was his brother, and the other was the taste of the ocean air that still seemed to linger on his teeth. All sans could do was touch the warm hand on his frigid cheekbone.* “it’s ok, you don't have to apologize… i’m alive and standing… surely that must mean something. though i must admit i don't understand how my soul cracked, you were the only one who was hit. so if it’s cracked, i really can't blame you for it. i mean, it’s just a cracked soul, i’ve damaged your soul a number of times...... what i really want to know is if we are going to have to keep our souls fused indefinitely?” *Sans thought about how unusually cold he was, and how Papyrus’s warmth was so welcoming to him. How it was still welcoming, the souls still dripped with arousal in their hands, leaking and beating together, providing the thermal comfort that each of the brothers so desperately needed.* “is there anything we can do about it?”

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** [This was all so new. If either of them made the wrong move, it could worsen the cracks or… Papyrus didn't want to think about the more dire consequences. There was already so much he had to dread, he didn't need to dwell on another thing and add it to the pile. However, he couldn't shake the fear in his tone when he responded.] "I DON'T KNOW. I'VE NEVER HAD MINE BEEN CRACKED FOR THIS LONG... I KNOW IT'LL ONLY GET WORSE IF WE DON'T FIND SOME WAY TO HEAL THEM." [Could their souls be healed like this though? Papyrus wasn't certain. One of them would have to let go of their souls to do it though. Healing required two hands.] "WHAT DO YOU THINK, BROTHER?"

 **SF! Sans:** *Sans swallowed dryly as his opinion was asked for. Papyrus HAD to know more about this than he did. A twinge of guilt washed over Sans as he thought about how he whipped and bullied him into biting the fragile magic. But this was different. This was an untreated infection, and the seconds were ticking. Sans knew they had already spent a long time in the back room, the precious gems that were the individual grains of sand in their timeline’s mortality were slipping.The clock on the wall in the back room showed that they only had an hour or so left before they had to leave to go to the ceremony. As much as Sans just wanted to stand here forever with his brother with their souls intertwined, actions had to be taken.* “well... now that you know what it is... does that mean... yes, we need to let go. right?” *Sans’s mind felt just as cracked as the souls… How could everything hurt and feel so numb all at the same time? As he spoke, he loosened his grip on his soul. As he did so, he noticed the world around him grow colder, indifferent, pointless. even though he didn't want to, he had to speak.* “you know pap… the only reason i had any drive to live was to find a way to protect you. but…” *His touch on the fused soul was now feather light, he couldn't bring himself to look at Papyrus.* “...i can't even do that. how can i protect someone who i’ve hurt so much? and that's on top of all the hell you have to go through. at least i get to forget. i get to go back to being ignorant of my fate.” *Sans’s hand finally let go and dropped to his side. He was overcome with a powerful desire to lie down and never stand up again. The only thing that kept himself fighting was his brother. He didn't even care about the surface anymore. What was the point? He was just going to forget it anyway.*

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** "SANS…" [Papyrus felt like his soul could break listening to Sans's confession. With what he was saying, it wasn't hard for the younger brother to piece together the reason why Sans's soul had cracked. He'd lost his will to live. Seeing his brother sacrifice himself... No. No, he wouldn't allow it! He was still here! Sans still had a brother, and the Angel be damned if Papyrus was going to sit around and watch the brother he'd almost died to protect Fall because of what could have happened! Papyrus grabbed Sans's shoulder with his free hand, his other still holding their souls, and glared at the smaller skeleton with flickering sockets, as if the light in them couldn't decide to stay or go.] "LOOK AT ME, BROTHER." [His grip tightened until Sans finally gave him a glance, but that wasn't good enough. The taller skeleton closed in, pressing his teeth against Sans's in a quick, stolen kiss before pulling away. He hoped he had his brother's attention by now, because he was going to speak his mind with or without it.] "YOU PROTECTED ME SO MANY TIMES RAISING ME. YOU EVEN GOT THAT SCAR TRYING TO PROTECT ME. I DON'T CARE ABOUT THE PAIN. YOU LOVE ME. I KNOW THAT NOW. YOU HAD YOUR REASONS, AND I GET THAT. I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOU REGRETTING THE PAST. I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY. PROMISE ME, SANS. PROMISE YOU WON'T THROW YOUR LIFE AWAY OVER SOMETHING YOU CAN'T CONTROL. PROMISE YOU'LL BE HAPPY FOR WHAT WE HAVE NOW." He looked Sans in the sockets. "PROMISE ME!"

 **SF! Sans:** *Everything was just so cold. At least, he was pretty sure that's what this feeling was. The air he exhaled was a blue mist and he was even shivering. Then Papyrus brought his fiery touch to his shoulder, the healing magic was warm to the touch. But the monster it was attached to was asking so much of him. He just wanted to look at and through the floor tiles, those beautiful sockets hurt to look at, looking through them hurt even more. Then he felt his brother’s teeth breathe fire into his mouth, filling him up with feeling for a precious moment. It was enough to get Sans to look up into those hurting and hurtful eye sockets while Papyrus begged for his happiness. When he mentioned the scar Sans instinctively ran his hand over it, a fleeting memory of his past self mustering all his strength and courage to continue warding off the intruder who caused it even though he was half blinded by the blow. He would have been permanently blind if it wasn't for Papyrus’s budding healing magic. The same magic that was keeping him from crumbling at that very moment. Papyrus was asking him to make a promise he wasn't sure he could keep. It wasn't that he didn't want to feel happy. It was he was having trouble feeling anything at all.* “papyrus... i… wanted you... when you were… just a child.” *This normally would have been when tears would have made an appearance, when his voice would have buckled under the weight of the statement. But it was all so numb. He should be fighting it, just like he always did, but he kept fading.* “i know i can't change the past… but what can I change without a future?” *But he kept looking at Papyrus, seeing all the pain that his brother was taking, desperately trying to heal him… and… something seemed to be happening.*

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** [That wasn't the response Papyrus had been hoping for. That wasn't a promise. That was a plea. And... in that moment, Papyrus saw himself in his brother. He saw his reaction to his first reset after a surface ending. He remembered the hopelessness and agony... if it wasn't for his grasp on their still fused souls, he'd probably burn up with how hot he was. His magic was rolling off of him in waves; he could see the sparks. Sans though... He was so cold. The only magic he saw was coming from his breath in a blue mist. Even his voice seemed void of any warmth or emotion at all. The younger brother wanted to change that. He had to change that. He felt so warm, but he wanted his brother to see. To come to the same realization he had so many resets ago. He moved his hand, souls in his grasp, towards Sans's rib cage. Maybe if Sans had some warmth in his chest, it would make it easier to see what the younger brother was trying to tell him.] "...I KNOW THAT FEELING. THAT HOPELESSNESS. THAT SENSE OF DESPAIR WHEN YOU REALIZE NOTHING YOU DO WILL MATTER IN THE LONG RUN. ...IT'S CRIPPLING. BUT THAT DOESN'T MAKE YOU UNIMPORTANT! THERE WERE RESETS WHERE I JUST WOULDN'T EAT BECAUSE I WAS SO CONVINCED THAT YOU'D HAVE A BETTER TIME IF I JUST FELL DOWN." [He paused, reliving a memory of one such timeline with a sad smile.] "BUT EVERY TIME I DID, YOU ALWAYS FOUND OUT. HEH, AND THEN YOU'D FORCE FEED ME WHATEVER YOU COULD FIND UNTIL YOU WERE SATISFIED. IT TOOK ABOUT FIVE OR SIX RESETS, BUT I GOT THE MESSAGE. I WASN'T COMPLETELY WORTHLESS. YOU CARED ABOUT ME ENOUGH TO WANT ME ALIVE." [He didn't want to let go of the souls. He saw how quickly Sans's mood had gone downhill, and he didn't want to add to that. He didn't know what was going to happen when he let go, and the mystery behind it scared him a little.] "IT DOESN'T MATTER THAT WE MIGHT ONLY HAVE A FEW MINUTES LONGER BEFORE THE RESET. AS LONG AS I'M STILL AROUND, I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOU DIE AGAIN. YOU HAVE TO KEEP FIGHTING, IF NOT FOR YOURSELF THAN FOR ME."

 **SF! Sans:** *Hearing his brother’s attempt to motivate Sans through his hopelessness made something stir inside him. He wasn’t sure what it was until he felt Papyrus’s warm soul press up against his bones, the memory of him force feeding Papyrus seemed so familiar, and yet he didn’t remember doing it. Even that memory of the surface… It seemed so real. And it had been real. He had been there, and he was going to be there again someday, even if he had to die a few more times first. When that day would come, he would have Papyrus to turn that incredibly vast and ceilingless world into a home. He didn’t want to die… Not when he had a burning soul he needed to heal, to cool down. Suddenly, Sans began to feel something well up inside him, like a snowball at the top of a hill had been pushed. As it made its descent, it took in all these emotions; sadness, anger, fear, hatred… nothing positive, but better than nothing. That is, until it built up to a point to where Sans grabbed his brother and pulled him down to his knees. He looked at his brother, now at eye level with a piercing, frigid, but alive glare.* “fuck you papyrus! don’t you fucking tell me what to do! i will fight and choose to stay alive as i damn well please” *The corner of his mouth twitched as he wrapped his hand around his his beloved's neck. In truth, he didn’t want to do this. But Papyrus’s pain was breathing life into him. His vertebrae were so warm to the touch. And he was so used to hurting him, especially when Papyrus could never bring himself to hurt Sans back without Sans demanding it. He didn’t apply pressure, but stroked the side of his neck bones lovingly with his thumb.* “i’m not making any empty promises to you. you humiliated me with this stupid soul bonding! i-- i got drugged by your stupid worthless soul! do you think i really love you papyrus? it’s not love, it’s obligation combined with lust. nothing more!” *It was all a lie. The bond brought out the truth in Sans. But the only way to warm himself was through his hatred and rage.* “now are we going to go to this _stupid_ ceremony and pretend like nothing disgusting is going on between us or do i have to snap your worthless neck?” *It was Sans’s bizarre way of telling Papyrus that he promised he would live for him. His soul was still cold and needed to be pressed up against the other’s for warmth, but Sans was able to tolerate it better.*

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** [The moment Sans started berating him, Papyrus knew he had gotten through. Though the words spoken were hateful, the younger brother saw through the icy exterior and found the promise he'd been looking for. He knelt there, letting the small skeleton rub his vertebrae, not bothering to hide the smile that was growing on his features. Sans was fine, now, and the younger brother knew that his soul would start healing soon. It had broken because of something lost, and now that it had been found, His soul could repair itself. He didn't care how, whether it be through pleasure or pain. Love or hate. Papyrus nodded to his lord, answering him.] "YES M'LORD. WHATEVER YOU SAY. I'LL BE GOOD, M'LORD." [And yet, as he spoke, Papyrus reached for the cold hand around his neck and squeezed it. He was already being yelled at. Why couldn't they add to the pain a bit. Maybe it would sap some of this excess magic Papyrus had, or at the very least cause some masochistic comfort.]

 **SF! Sans:** “shut up!” *Sans screamed, eagerly responding to Papyrus’s squeeze with his own, his grip slowly tightening with every ugly word uttered.* “you’re a disgusting freak! you _want_ me to do this?! is that it? is this really what makes you feel alive?” *Sans began trembling but not from the chill of his magic, which was finally starting to warm up, but from the angry fire within him. He didn’t hurt his brother because he liked it. He had to do it. This had to be their relationship until everything went back to normal. Until the day they finally would go to the surface without being plagued by a reset. After all, how many resets could a human really do anyways? Wouldn’t it get boring after a while? Sans moved his other hand around Papyrus’s neck and used the added leverage to choke his precious brother harder.* “since you are so eager for pain, i’ll tell you what is going to happen.” *Sans leaned into the kneeling skeleton, as if telling a secret in a room full of ears.* “you are going to carry our souls. and if they start growing unstable, it’s your responsibility to fuck up and give me a good reason to discipline you. i’m sure a little public humiliation will only help us feel more stable in this situation. don’t you agree?” *It felt horrible and wonderful at the same time to see the agonized masochistic relief drawn on his brother's expression as he hit the limit of his choke, not wanting to fracture the small bones. Sans held the his pressure for a moment, then violently let go.* “now, we must get going dear brother. put on some decent attire and let's make our way to the castle.”

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** [He stayed mostly silent through the whole thing, smiling away while his brother choked him. The pain was nice, and Sans's touch was cool. Beyond the small, struggling noises he was making trying to breathe, Papyrus was happy. Sans seemed to draw strength from his pain, so if torturing him was his brother's way of dealing with his cracked soul, he'd gladly accept that pain. He was a freak, but he was Sans's freak, and he'd do anything for the smaller skeleton. He listened to the other as the plan was explained to him. So he would be the one to carry their souls, huh? He would do it. He gave a slow blink in place of any other response, since nodding would require moving the vertebrae Sans had a hold of, and said hold was disrupting his ability to speak. He gasped for air he didn't need as Sans continued, his masochist reveling in the pain. He couldn't breathe, and it was wonderful. And then it was gone. The ice around his throat left, and Papyrus greedily took in air despite his lack of need. He looked up at his brother, nodding to him.] "YES, M'LORD." [He sounded hoarse, but who wouldn't after being choked? He looked back at his hoodie and sweater, realizing that they were the closest thing he could wear in terms of decent attire. Sheepishly, he put them back on, not really having much else and certainly not going to go outside without something covering his rib cage. He then took their souls, still fused, and set them nicely inside his cage. He would protect them. He had to. For both of their sakes.]

 **SF! Sans:** *Sans glared at his brother, eyeing his attire.* “this won't do, this is a formal occasion! come with me…” *He gripped Papyrus’s hand, squeezing it painfully tight. He could feel the metacarpals straining not to crack in his grasp as Sans opened the door, forcing the brothers to leave this “safe space.” If a reset happened now, Sans would forget. He walked hastily into the house and up the stairs to his bedroom, then shoved his brother on the floor.* “now, for reasons that are obvious to both of us, you need to remain close by me at all times.” *The captain removed his top, exposing his cold empty ribcage and dug through his closet, pulling out a similar looking top, except the shoulders were somewhat more dramatic and covered with gold spikes. He pulled the top on and continued rummaging through his closet.* “there's going to be a lot of lying involved so you need to listen closely to what i have to say. in fact, you are going to have to focus on a lot of things going on around you. this is the second human i’ve killed and there are going to be a lot of suspicious monsters, this may even include the queen... ahhhh, here it is!” *Sans spun around and brandished a leash and collar, different from the one Papyrus had been wearing. It was covered with spikes, both on the outside and the inside.* “i hope you like humiliation with your pain, brother.” *Sans grabbed Papyrus’s skull and yanked it back, then Sans ran his tongue up his bruised neck bones.*

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** [He felt bad, but not because of the pain. No, the pain was wonderful. He felt bad that Sans had to go through so much trouble because of him. He listened to his brother from the floor of Sans's room, sitting there almost like a dog. An obedient dog, ready to do anything for his lord and master. So, what better way to keep one's dog close than with a collar and leash? Papyrus marveled at the spikes on the collar, and for a moment, his mind began to wander. Scenes flashed across his vision, his imagination taking over. Scenes of Sans using that collar to his advantage. Dragging the taller skeleton around. Keeping the leash taut so the spikes would dig into his cervical vertebrae and scratch them until they bled. Oh, how he'd howl for Sans like the mutt he could be. The panting and howling and moaning... Papyrus was torn from his fantasizing by Sans's icy grasp on his skull. With the younger brother already locked in an aroused mindset, it was all he could do to keep his moan somewhat quiet while Sans's ice cold tongue trailed along the bruised vertebrae. Their fused souls skipped a pulse inside the taller skeleton's rib cage while he melted in the older brother's chilled clutch.]

 **SF! Sans:** *As he mechanically adjusted and clasped the torture collar, Sans felt something through his numb fog. It was Papyrus. Their souls bonded, as weak as they were, could still share intense emotion. Sans could feel his brother’s eager gluttony for punishment burning his detached soul. It was a desire that the two brothers deeply shared, but only Papyrus would be able to experience. The envy the small skeleton appeared to be working in his favor, feeding the angry fire in his frigid heart. Once the small guard was satisfied with how tight the collar was, he stood up and gave the collar a firm test tug. Hard enough to where Papyrus would be knocked on the floor and unable to speak.* “tight enough?” *He didn't wait for an answer.* ”good, get up you worthless bitch. we have a show to put on” *And with that, Sans turned his heel and dragged Papyrus behind him, giving the tall masochist no time to recover. He either could get up, or get dragged by the horrible choker collar. They left an hour early, which was enough time to walk to the castle. Sans wouldn't have himself risk getting caught taking a shortcut. Sans had to appear strong and capable, even though he was injured. This part would be easy. Sans felt nothing, his head could be half missing and he still wouldn't feel a thing. The only time he felt anything was when Papyrus lagged behind, and Sans got to feel his beautiful yelps of pain as he yanked on the leash and cursed his brother. Finally, they made it.*

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** [He made sure to hold as still as possible while Sans put his collar on. He didn't want to shift and cause his brother to scratch himself on one of the outer spikes. The collar was fastened fairly tightly around Papyrus's neck, just barely loose enough for it to not disrupt his breathing. He shook his head a bit, trying the sharpness of the spikes and-- Yep. They were sharp. Not sharp enough to cut straight through the bone, but definitely not dull either. Sans's test tug had the spikes lock between his vertebrae as he was pulled forward, and his skull was forced into the carpet near the smaller skeleton's feet. He would have said something, but the sharp pain caught him off guard. He had just enough reaction time to get up on his hands and knees and crawl after Sans when he started moving. Thankfully, he could use the stairs as leverage, and so by the time they made it to the first floor, he was walking on two legs once again, following Sans's lead like the loyal pet he was. He stayed just being Sans most of the journey, keeping his head down to avoid eye contact from any passing monster. Still, occasionally, Papyrus found that he couldn't help himself. He'd lag behind, not because Sans walked too fast, but because he couldn't deny the thrill it gave him to have Sans pull him back in. His pain-filled cries would draw attention to the two, but only for a moment before gazes would be averted. The pain helped Papyrus, he loved it, but the action also helped Sans. It gave him this air of authority that no one wanted to mess with. Papyrus could only take a small amount of pride in that as they reached New Home. By that point, the collar had caused Papyrus's vertebrae to bleed, but it was small and mostly unnoticeable. It wouldn't show on his black hoodie or red sweater, so why would he need to worry?]


	14. New Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you have a lovely day.  
> ~Flame

**SF! Sans:** *There it was, new home. Sans had been there many times before, and as usual, it felt nothing like a home. There were eyes and ears everywhere even before they stepped through the main gates of the castle, but now there were voices. Whispering, speaking, inquiring, nosy voices. Sans despised them all. He was of course, loyal to the monsters and their cause, but the underground always felt like it had too many and too few citizens at the same time. It was good that Sans brought his brother, even better that his soul was pressed up safe against the other’s. It seemed like the entire underground had come to see this event. The soul full of hate and his brother’s warmth inside the captain had trace amounts of nerves flitting about, but Sans would never, _never_ let that show. The first person to approach him, surprisingly enough, was a lapine monster from his hometown, Cinnamon, who was surprisingly friendly and understanding to Sans as he pulled his older sister on a leash. Most of the walk to the judgement hall was spent with the siblings. It was a nice save, they weren’t at all interested in the affair with the human. Then the two monsters reached a doorway blockaded by Sans’s guardsmen, and he was alone to face the questions again.*  
_“How come YOU were able to kill the human when no one else was?”_  
_“Why do you have your brother on a leash?”_  
_“What attack did you use to kill them?”_  
_“Why didn’t you take the soul with you after you killed them?!”_  
_“I don’t care if you were injured, if it were me, I would have gone straight to the queen.”_  
_“Is it true this isn’t the first human you killed?”_  
_“What are you plans once you get to the surface?”_  
*Questions, insults, comments… coming at the overwhelmed skeleton at every which way. He couldn’t ignore them all. But so many questions were difficult to answer. And the worst part was, everyone really believed this was it, that they were going to the surface. This was the 7th soul. Only the two skeletons knew the truth. Sans felt himself grow cold as the monsters smothered him with their hopeless optimism.*

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** [Papyrus could only stand there in silence. It wasn't his place to speak. He was the younger brother. The pet. It wouldn't be right for him to talk now. That would merit some sort of punishment from Sans, out of obligation if nothing else. A pet shouldn't talk. It should be silent. And that's what he was. Silent. The taller skeleton kept his head low, his gaze on the ground while monsters attacked Sans with question after question. He didn't flinch when some asked about the collar. If anything, the corners of his mouth twitched. This collar and leash symbolized the complete control his older brother had over him. The control he gave him. The control he would continue to give him until they could truly live on the surface again. When they could be equals in public, rather than master and pet. Papyrus wrapped his arms around himself, looking insecure to the general eye, but secretly trying to comfort the chilled soul that pressed so closely to his own. He'd felt it grow slightly colder, so he wanted to provide as much heat as he could to it.]

 **SF! Sans:** *The stormy sea of questions was silenced abruptly when Alphys stepped out of the judgement hall. She still commanded more respect than Sans ever could. Her imposing and stone-like physique, even without armor, made her a force to be reckoned with. In one square and heavily armored claw, floating in a jar, was the red human soul. It made Sans sick looking at it. While everyone's attention was focused, Sans tugged Papyrus’s leash to bring his only source of comfort a little closer, hoping the action would come off more as Sans trying to correct his brother’s hunched over posture in the presence of authority. Every monster in the room got down on one knee, but Sans stood, and forced Papyrus to do the same in an act of defiance.*  
“ ***** Sans” *Her voice was metallic and as cold as his soul.*  
“that’s captain sans......” *Sans growled. The two monsters sneered at one another.*  
“ ***** The Queen will see you now...” *She glanced at Papyrus* “ *****...Alone.”  
*His soul stopped for a second. Defying Alphys command was one thing. But the queen...* “i’m afraid i can't do that…”  
“ ***** THAT IS NOT YOUR DECISION TO MAKE, SANS. ONLY THE QUEEN AND THE MONSTER RESPONSIBLE FOR KILLING THE HUMAN ARE ALLOWED.” *Her booming voice practically shook the ground.*  
“this isn’t my decision…” Sans was desperate… He needed to think of a lie quick. His soul was still incredibly unstable. Even if the world was going to be reset, he still needed to cling onto this timeline with everything he had.*  
“ ***** WHAT DO YOU MEAN?!”

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** [Papyrus turned his gaze away from Alphys at first, but a quick tug on his leash from Sans had him standing up straight, a step or two closer to his older brother. He could feel the subtle pricks of nervousness in the colder soul, though his soul had its own wave of nerves. A wave that crashed on him when Alphys's gaze locked on him and practically drowned him when she mentioned Sans would have to go alone. That wasn't part of the plan. They couldn't be separated. Their souls--! Papyrus had to act quickly. This is what Sans had told him about. He had to cause a distraction of some sort. Something bad enough to get Sans to punish him...] "I'M NOT LEAVING HIS SIDE. I DON'T CARE WHAT THE QUEEN SAYS." [Papyrus glared at Alphys, his sockets dim. One of the corners of his mouth was drawn up in a sneer. And then, he started to chuckle. Almost like he had that first night with Sans. Almost. That laugh had been one out of hopelessness, this one, while mildly forced, was one out of desperation.] "I'M NOT HALF AS SCARED OF THE QUEEN AS I AM OF MY LORD! THAT HUMAN WOULD HAVE KILLED ME IF HE WASN'T AS STRONG AS HE IS!" [The chuckle turned into a full-blown laugh, giving the younger brother a look of almost insanity. He didn't care.] "HE KILLED THEM IN ONE ATTACK! HE HAD THESE SKULL CANNONS WITH BEAMS OF MAGIC STRONG ENOUGH TO KILL A NORMAL MONSTER!" [He threw his arms wide, scanning the area with wide, almost hysterical sockets.] "HE COULD KILL EVERYONE IN THIS ROOM IF HE WANTED TO! HE COULD KILL QUEEN TORIEL! M'LORD WOULD MAKE SUCH A BETTER RULER THAN SHE WOULD!" [He shifted his wild gaze to Sans, falling silent aside from the occasional chuckle and heavy breath. To anyone else, it would look like he was waiting for Sans to agree with him. But in the secret reality, Papyrus was looking to Sans in hopes that he'd done a good enough job. Surely heresy would get him an audience with the queen, right?]

 **SF! Sans:** *If Sans had eyes, they would have been bulging out of their sockets. But instead all the light in them was reduced to pinpricks. Papyrus’s outburst had left Sans positively mortified. And to make matters worse, he was laughing and bragging about attacks Sans couldn't do!! Everyone was focused on the brothers even more than before. After Papyrus’s outburst, he looked at Sans, his face almost proud. Then there was silence. A moment where time stood still, just like when he was tied to his bed, like in the bath… on the floor in the back room. Only this time there were no cries of “i love you”’s to be exchanged, no kisses, no soft touches to lean into, no tears to be lovingly dried. Just Sans back handing his brother, then summoning all of his strength to pull Papyrus onto the ground, the spikes of his collar puncturing his vertebrae and staying in the holes. Then came Sans’s boot, which stomped his skull as hard as it could without killing him. Sans’s soul finally felt uncomfortably warm, even if it was still weak, and stars… he didn't want to hurt his baby brother like this.* “idiot!!!!! worthless! piece! of! shit!!!!” *Sans ground his boot into his brother with every word.* “how dare you talk about her majesty that way!!! how dare you threaten the people i have sworn to protect!!” *Sans flipped his brother over onto his back and sat down hard on his clavicle, and began punching him. Soft enough to keep him conscious, hard enough to bruise and draw blood.* “what did i tell you about speaking without permission?! huh?! huh?!?! you disgusting bag of bones!!!” *Sans wanted to cry and hold his precious Papyrus and kiss him everywhere. But he knew this was what made Papyrus happy. Finally the punishment ended. Sans stood up panting, his gloves dripping and droplets of blood could be seen on his face.* “this… is why he must come with. he is insane alphys, he is weak, dangerous, and insane. he refuses to listen to anyone else except me. we both know the queen could kill everyone in the entire underground if it pleased her.” *Sans pulled his destroyed brother onto his wobbly feet.* “now papyrus… apologize to alphys, and then to her majesty.”  
*Alphys just stood there, completely dumbfounded by what she had just seen. It was obvious she wasn't quite sure what to do… It was clear to anyone watching that she felt like she was already regretting her decision as she stepped aside.*

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** [The first attack Sans hit him with was met with a sharp yelp, as was every other blow Papyrus sustained. Each cry of pain rang through the area in loud echoes as he was beaten to a pulp. He tried to keep the pleasure it gave him out of his voice. Throughout it all, never once did Papyrus try to defend himself. Besides knowing better, this was all a show. It was the whole reason he'd said what he had. It was the reason Sans had to punish him now. They needed to stay together, no matter the circumstances or excuses. He'd painted a picture for himself, and he couldn't go back on it now. When Sans had finished punishing him, the younger brother just stared up at him for a moment. Blood leaked from the fractures in his skull, almost blinding him in one eye because of the liquid. Then Papyrus chuckled again, no emotion behind them, before he spoke.] "I'M SORRY, M'LORD..." [Best to play the part. Then again, it wasn't very hard for him to be devout to his brother. The insanity was surprisingly easy to force, as well. He just had to tap into the darkest parts of himself that he'd locked away. He stumbled as he was brought to his feet, and the room spun a little when he shifted his head to look at Alphys for a moment. Sans had really taken it out of him, though it wasn't like he didn't deserve it.] "YES, M'LORD... I APOLOGIZE, ALPHYS. THAT WAS, HEHE, OUT OF LINE." [He gave a sheepish look, though if he was truly and honestly behaving like this, the embarrassment would have come from upsetting his brother more than anything.]

 **SF! Sans:** *The two brothers made their way through the crowd, which parted into a rather wide path, and walked, escorted closely by Alphys, into the judgement hall. The space was almost blinding, lit by golden flowers and magic. The intention of the space was meant to be a safe-haven for the good, and an unnerving torture for evil. While the hall itself was harmless, the aura it gave off was almost painfully uncomfortable. All Sans could think of was all the horrible things he had ever done, and all the unpleasant truths he held. As they walked passed the stained glass windows, he even worried the light would illuminate their ribcages, showing Sans’s empty chest, and more importantly, Papyrus’s bonded one. But sans’s battle body top was made from thick leather, and Papyrus’s hoodie and sweater were also made of heavy material. When they made it to the end of the hall, Alphys stopped them.* “ ***** Wait here.”  
*Then she entered the throne room, giving the brothers a moment alone. Even though Sans didn’t feel alone, he felt like this was going to be the last time Sans, the Sans from this timeline, was ever going to see his brother again. It truly did feel like he was going to die. Sans turned to the younger skeleton and studied his face for a moment. This place seemed to unnerve him much more than sans did, but he was smiling at Sans nonetheless.* “this is it, brother. ready or not, this is it.” *His soul had been fed so much anger and hatred, it was finally strong enough to allow softer emotions in. He checked to make sure Alphys was still with the queen before gently tugging Papyrus close to him. Sans allowed himself to get lost in the lights of the tall skeleton’s sockets.* “if there’s anything you want to say or do, now’s your chance.”

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** [The Judgement Hall. The Last Corridor. Papyrus couldn't help how unnerved the room made him. Even knowing the human was dead, Papyrus could practically see the ghosts of his past ducking and weaving as they fought. Gaster Blasters, seas of bones, and for what? To his knowledge, the kid never progressed once they learned how to beat him. They just... fought until they got bored. It was as if they knew something horrible would happen if they did. Maybe they still had a shred of kindness still in them. Papyrus very nearly walked into Sans when Alphys told them to wait, his train of thought distracting him. Thankfully, their closeness didn't seem to bother Sans once the lizard was away. The younger brother smiled, in spite of himself. This was it. They'd reached the end. Any moment now, Papyrus would wake up in his bed, several days ago, and none of this would matter. Except it would. Everything they'd done together in this timeline meant so much to the younger brother. He only wished Sans would retain his memories. The taller skeleton looked down, his gaze meeting his lover's, but it fell to Sans's hands. They were coated in half-dried blood, his blood. Papyrus knelt down in front of his brother, once again meeting his gaze, and brought those hands close.] "...LET ME HELP YOU CLEAN UP, M'LORD. YOU SHOULDN'T PRESENT THAT SOUL TO THE QUEEN WITH YOUR HANDS LIKE THIS." [Then, with a soft, loving smile, Papyrus started dragging his tongue across those bloody phalanges. In hindsight, it wasn't much different than two days ago with Sans's boots, and if he had time, he'd probably lick the blood off of them as well. There were a million other things Papyrus wanted to say and do, but there was only so much time left. At least this way, if they were caught, they could easily play it off.]

 **SF! Sans:** *Sans let out a sick, statistic, bittersweet hum at the sensation of his gloves being cleaned and warmed at the same time. But deep down he was broken. This wasn't how he wanted to say goodbye to Papyrus. This was how they would be when these memories would be gone. If Alphys wasn’t so close by, he would tell Papyrus how he loved him. But instead, he could only speak to Papyrus as a brother. A weak, pathetic burden of a brother.* “aren't you excited papyrus?” *Sans cooed as Papyrus continued lapping and sucking his own blood off Sans’s hands.* “soon we will finally see it together. The human world, the surface. No matter what happens Papyrus, we’re going there.” *Sans stared at the stained glass window. It reminded him of the sunrise. He was thankful he got to see it. The sight of the light and the emotions it stirred in Sans gave him enough strength to share a memory.*  
_*It was 2 years ago. Sans was tormenting Papyrus as usual, when suddenly the younger brother screamed ‘I LOVE YOU’. Sure, Papyrus had said those words before. But that time it was said differently than the others. It terrified Sans out of his mind, and caused him to start punishing Papyrus on a whole new level from that moment on. That night, he snuck out to Hotland and spent the entire night shattering his own carpals and metacarpals trying to break boulders with his fists. Sans was terrified that Papyrus loved him back. He felt like he had failed as a brother. But he hadn’t… Papyrus was suffering and needed him even more than the little captain could ever understand.*_  
*He wasn't the religious type, but Sans couldn't help but pray for his brother’s happiness in the next timeline.*  
*Sans quickly pulled his now surprisingly well cleaned gloves away from Papyrus’s mouth as he heard Alphys approach. She gave the brothers a disgusted look, as if she knew what was going on between them, and hastily handed Sans the jar containing the 7th human soul.*  
“ ***** Her royal majesty Queen Toriel is ready to see you and accept the soul.” *Alphys growled.* “ *****...both of you.” *She stepped aside and gestured to the door to the throne room. Sans’s soul pressed up against its mate as they made their way to the end of the line.*

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** [" _no matter what happens, papyrus, we're going there._ " One of these days. One of these days, the human would stop. One of these days, they would let him keep his happy ending. And then he could watch the sun with his brother. They'd watch it rise and set, day after day, and nothing would take it away from them again.] "I'LL FOLLOW YOU WHEREVER YOU GO, M'LORD." [The memory of that day... it spoke for himself. It spoke the confession he could not say. That had been around the time Papyrus had first started loving Sans as more than a brother. But after that, Sans's forms of punishment had changed, and Papyrus had thought it was because of those budding incestuous thoughts, and had stopped saying "I love you" so much in an attempt to appease his brother. At least they could share memories again. Maybe he could use that in the next timeline. He stood up straight once Sans's glove slipped out of his grasp, and as if to keep up his previous act of insanity, he glared right back at Alphys while she handed Sans the soul. He was quick to follow Sans into the throne room...]

 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

 

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** Papyrus bolted upright, one of his eye sockets aglow with magic, and his breath heavily labored. He was in his room, and the only thing that illuminated it was his magic. It took a few very long minutes before Papyrus had calmed enough to think straight. The timeline had been reset. Everything was "back to normal." And just like usual, he would be the only one who remembered anything. He felt sick, and for a moment, he just sat there in the darkness, feeling sick and numb at the same time. Then, carefully, he lifted his sweater up and pulled his soul from its cage. The poor heart was throbbing, yearning for the mate it had been fused with for what seemed like seconds ago. The tall skeleton gently rubbed the upside down heart, trying to calm it. As he did so though, the only thing he could think of was the last few words the Sans from that reset had told him. " _no matter what happens, papyrus, we're going there._ " He sobbed, tears welling up in his sockets. Papyrus stopped massaging his soul, overwhelmed, and returned it to his rib cage before snagging his pillow and burying his face in it to muffle his crying. "I'LL GET US THERE ONE DAY, SANS. I PROMISE."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Psst. Guess what.
> 
> ...This story isn't over.
> 
> But just for funsies, pretend this is the last chapter! How would that feel? Feel free to tell me! I'm excited to hear your reactions!  
> ~Flame


	15. One Hell of a Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uploading this from my phone again. My laptop screen died. I'm hoping my cousin can fix it. That having been said, please enjoy.  
> ~Flame

**SF! Sans:** *Sans had just finished one hell of a day. He actually did it. He had no idea how, but he defeated Alphys. Knocked her completely unconscious with a surprise attack. And now Sans was officially the captain. The head of the royal guard. Much of his day had been spent celebrating with the other guardsmen, bragging about the battle, demonstrating attacks, and finally getting kicked out of Muffet’s stone cold sober. It was late. Papyrus should be at home. Sans grinned with sadistic glee, wondering how he would torture his stupid, pain in the ass younger brother to celebrate. He never let other monsters visit unless it was strictly on business, so when Sans kicked open the door, he was alone.*  
“pa-pie-ruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuus!!!!!!!!!!!!” *The new captain bellowed at full volume, trying to sound as furious as possible. He knew his brother was probably sleeping, the lazy piece of shit.* “this is urgent,mutt!!!! if you don't get down here in two seconds you are _dead_!!!!! you hear me!?!?! d-e-a-d!!!” *In Sans’s mind, Papyrus was already dead. His default state was always in trouble. He always needed to be punished because he was always messing up. Just by existing and knowing Sans, he messed up.*  
*Sans gave Papyrus literally that, two seconds. Sans then summoned a bone attack and made his way upstairs.* “too late lazybones!!” Sans screamed as he kicked down his bedroom door, adding more cracks to the once sturdy wood.* “get out of your slimy decrepit sleep pit, vermin!! it’s!...”  
*But Sans paused, slipping character for a moment at the scene the beam of light from the hallway illuminated for the small skeleton. Papyrus was looking up at Sans like he was looking at a ghost, or a zombie. He was clutching his pillow for dear life, squeezing it tight in his grasp. He was crying, or had just finished crying. The tall young skeleton was now putting all his efforts into regaining his composure, but doing it awkwardly, like he didn’t know exactly where he was.* “damn papyrus! what in stars name are you blubbering about this time?! you just want to ruin everything, don't you?!”

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** He hadn't even registered Sans's arrival until his door was kicked down, shedding light into his dimly lit room. The moment Sans started talking, he felt his soul twist in pain. After what he'd just been through though, how could it not? The skeleton that stood before him wasn't the same skeleton who had touched that soul, nor shared his memories. There was no subtle hint of love in his tone or his gaze. No sense of security came from the Sans that stood there now. Only heartache. Papyrus reached up to wipe his sockets dry with the back of his coat sleeve, mildly surprised when he realized how tightly he'd been gripping his pillow. "I'M SORRY, M'LORD." He cast the pillow away carelessly and stood up from his sheetless bed, turning to face his brother with the same love in his gaze that would have been present before the reset. He feigned a smile, in spite of his aching soul. "YOU BEAT ALPHYS TODAY, DIDN'T YOU, M'LORD? CONGRATULATIONS. YOU WERE ALWAYS THE STRONGER BROTHER."

 **SF! Sans:** *Sans was taken aback by Papyrus congratulating him on defeating Alphys. Even though he knew he was going to battle her… Still, his smug assumption enraged the little master. And he hated when Papyrus would call him that ugly word… ‘brother’... Papyrus was just racking on the punishments. Sans took the bone headed end of his bone spear attack and cracked the younger skeleton over the head, knocking him out of bed.* “idiot!! stupid mangey dog!! i was going to get to that you clod! you ruin everything! and worse, you didn’t even answer my question!”  
*Sans flipped the spear over to the pointy end with the grace one would expect from a monster of such high ranking, and pointed it at his brother’s face threateningly.* “why were you crying?! did the stupid baby have a bad dream again? what did you dream about this time? having to work?!” *Sans flung his head back and laughed heartlessly.* ”mweh heh heh heh!!!!” *Then Sans thrust himself forward so he was only an inch or two away from Papyrus’s face, the spear now at his neck.* “be honest about your sad little dream, freak. i can smell your lies, and if something smells funny, you're dust. don't you spare any humiliating details... fucking crybaby...”

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** He winced, the impact sending him to the floor. Yep, Sans was angry. The bone to the head definitely packed a punch. He looked up at his brother from his spot on the floor, half-kneeling, but just smiled. "I DREAMT THAT WE LOVED EACH OTHER, M'LORD. I DREAMT THAT YOU CAME HOME ONE DAY, AND I HAD A LEASH AND COLLAR ON. AND AFTER A WHILE, I TOLD YOU I WAS IN LOVE WITH YOU. I DREAMT THAT YOU TOOK ME INTO YOUR ROOM TO FIX ME, BUT IN THE END, IT ONLY MADE IT WORSE. AND I DISOBEYED YOU AND TIED YOU UP, AND PINNED YOU DOWN ON YOUR BED, BUT WHEN I TOUCHED YOUR SOUL, I SAW ONE OF YOUR MEMORIES. AND WHEN I LET YOU TOUCH MY SOUL, YOU SAW ONE OF MINE. AND THEN WE JUST KEPT USING OUR MEMORIES TO TELL EACH OTHER HOW WE FELT WHILE WE HAD SEX IN YOUR ROOM." He paused, letting the first day sink in before continuing. "AND THEN I DREAMT WE TRIED TO KEEP THAT NIGHT A ONE TIME THING, BUT YOU GOT DRUNK TRYING TO FORGET, AND I HAD TO TAKE A SHORTCUT FROM MUFFET'S SO YOU DIDN'T ACCIDENTALLY SHARE OUR SECRET. AND THEN WHEN WE GOT HOME, WE HAD A LITTLE TALK, AND HAD SEX IN THE BATHROOM. THEN WE SLEPT TOGETHER IN YOUR ROOM AGAIN." Another pause, and his smile started to fade. "AND THEN I DREAMED THAT I WOKE UP AND YOU WERE GONE. I PANICKED, AND TOOK A SHORTCUT TO FIND YOU. YOU WERE GETTING ATTACKED BY A HUMAN, AND YOU WOULD HAVE DIED IF I HADN'T STEPPED IN AND PROTECTED YOU. I KILLED THE HUMAN FOR YOU, AND YOU HAD TO DRAG ME HOME BECAUSE WE WERE BOTH SO WEAK FROM THE FIGHT. THEN, WHEN WE GOT HOME, YOU HELPED ME WITH MY INJURY, AND..." He had to take a breath. "AND THEN I TOLD YOU ABOUT HOW THAT HUMAN COULD RESET TIME, AND HOW YOU'D FORGET EVERYTHING WE'D DONE BUT I WOULD REMEMBER. AND I TOLD YOU ABOUT THE BACK ROOM AND HOW TIME WORKS DIFFERENTLY THERE. WE WENT THERE BECAUSE I REMEMBERED GOING TO THE SURFACE AND I WANTED TO SHOW YOU USING MY MEMORIES, BUT... AFTER THE FIGHT, OUR SOULS CRACKED. YOU BECAME DEPRESSED, AND MY MAGIC GOT REALLY SENSITIVE. WE COULDN'T SEE EACH OTHER'S MEMORIES, AND WE TRIED AS HARD AS WE COULD TO SEE, BUT IT WOULDN'T HAPPEN. I HAD TO GIVE YOU A PEP TALK SO YOUR SOUL WOULDN'T BREAK, AND IT WORKED. THEN WE WENT TO NEW HOME TOGETHER, AND YOU WERE GOING TO PRESENT THE HUMAN'S SOUL TO THE QUEEN... BUT BEFORE THAT YOU MADE ME PROMISE YOU THAT I'D MAKE YOU REMEMBER OUR TIME TOGETHER IF YOU FORGOT... AND THEN I WOKE UP."

 **SF! Sans:** *Sans stood there and listened to his brother’s obscene dream. He listened with uncharacteristic patience as Papyrus admitted to having the most disgusting, incestuous, and unrealistic dream that Sans had ever heard. And it was so sappy too. Sappy and pathetic, just like Papyrus. At least he was telling the truth. Though after hearing about how they had sex multiple times he wished that his brother hadn’t been _that_ honest.* “my my... what a gross, shitty little dream you had. just like you.” *Sans said in his best calm-before-the-storm voice as he playfully added pressure to Papyrus's head with the point of his spear. He knew Papyrus was lewdly in love with him. He'd known this for years. Yet deep down, something inside him hurt. Sans shook the emotion off as pity. Now the burning question was… How was he going to punish Papyrus? How was he going to inflict pain and make the lanky skeleton suffer?*  
“i wish it didn't have to come to this papyrus, but you have left me no choice. consider that dream the last one you have under this roof. pack up whatever you have and leave.” *Sans pulled the bone away, the light from the hallway against Sans back blackened his features.* “now, i’m going to go to bed. i expect the house to be empty when i wake up. i don't ever want to see you again. do you understand?”  
*Sans turned and and started walking away. In all honestly, he didn’t want Papyrus to leave forever. Sans just wanted to hurt him. He wanted to break him and teach him that love is a cruel, cold emotion that should be avoided at all costs. The plan was to see if Papyrus was loyal enough to his brother to banish himself from the house, and in a few days Sans, in all of his mercy, would find his brother and see if Papyrus was ready to be taken back in. He knew the monster could take care of himself.*

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** Papyrus's expression changed, to what, it was hard to tell. There were too many emotions stirring inside him to be able to pinpoint one in particular. Sans was kicking him out? He couldn't do that! The Sans from the last timeline wouldn't do that. They were supposed to stay together! As Sans moved to leave the room, something started to stir within Papyrus. Something that wouldn't let him accept this punishment. It was like the Sans from the future-past was guiding him forward when he stood up and started following his brother. He was guided by that ghost when he reached out and snagged Sans's wrist, his sockets dim, and he was guided by that shadow when he spun the smaller skeleton around and pressed his teeth firmly against the other's. Papyrus's gaze locked on his brother's, unwavering. If he had to tame his brother again, he would do it. Anything to help Sans remember. Not just because it was a promise he intended to keep. But because he wanted to make Sans happy. Because he knew that deep down, Sans loved him too, and he wanted his brother to know it was ok to accept and embrace those feelings. That the brother he'd been pining over would love him unconditionally. When he allowed himself to break away, the only thing he could say was the first thing that came to mind. "I LOVE YOU, SANS. I REFUSE TO LEAVE YOU ALONE."

 **SF! Sans:** *As Sans made his way towards his room, he was stopped and spun around. The monster looking down at him was not the skeleton he has seen that morning, his pathetic subservient dog of a brother who followed his every whim without question. No, this was some disgusting imposter! And a pervert! Sans never would have guessed his day would have ended with his teeth pressed forcefully against his own brother’s! Sans was panicking internally, the hatred in his sockets burning against the lust in Papyrus’s as the kiss seemed to go on forever. When Sans was finally allowed to breathe again he wiped his teeth with his gloved forearm while Papyrus announced his love and defiance at the same time. Sans tried his best to hide any emotion from his face, but he couldn't help but curl the corner of his mouth in disgust.* “if you really love me, you will get out of this house!” *Sans yanked his hand free and punched Papyrus hard enough to knock him to the ground.* “i am not the pathetic little soul sucking bitch of a brother you dreamed about. i will not hesitate to kill you if i have to, papyrus.” *Sans made his way toward the door, quickly this time, and once he made it out of the dim squalor Papyrus called his bedroom, he immediately used his magic to shoot up a gate, the thick bars extending from the floor to the ceiling. Sans looked back at the tall skeleton, the master's eyes were dim and full of violated anger.* “you're not dreaming anymore papyrus… wake up, and get out of my home.”

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** Having been knocked to the ground, the bars had already been put in place by the time the taller skeleton recovered from the impact. Papyrus stared at his brother, a small hint of hurt in them but no less determined. Determined to get through. Sans was back to square one, so the younger brother was going to have to do what he'd done that first night. He let his brother talk, only starting to move after the other had finished. He rose to his feet, chuckling under his breath. "YOU CAN'T LIE TO ME ANYMORE, M'LORD." He approached the magic bars, stopping a few inches away. "I'VE SEEN WHAT YOU DO IN THE BATHROOM WHEN YOU'RE NOT TAKING A SHOWER. I KNOW WHAT YOU DO IN YOUR ROOM WHEN I'M NOT HOME."  
He smiled, then teleported out of his room, ending up just behind Sans. He leaned in close, his teeth near where the other's ear would be, and when he spoke, it was in a quiet growl. It was a low, seductive, teasing growl of a voice, and Papyrus's put every ounce of his love and lust into it. " _'hurt me more, please...'_ REMEMBER THAT? CLAWING AT YOUR SOUL WITH ONE HAND WHILE CHOKING YOURSELF WITH THE OTHER? _'papyrus... i love you... i'm so messed up... i love you brother...'_ I HEARD THAT FROM YOUR OWN MEMORIES WHEN I TOUCHED YOUR SOUL, M'LORD. YOU REMEMBER THEM, RIGHT?"

 **SF! Sans:** *Papyrus didn’t just _hear_ what Sans did privately in the shower, he said he had actually _seen_ it. Sans found it incredibly disturbing how sure of himself the tall skeleton sounded. But Sans had to call his bluff. He got ready to scream at his brother, only to find the room empty. Shit. Shit shit shit. He forgot he could do that. And now the foul creature was right behind him, spitting more poison into his temporal lobe. Sans wanted to vomit hearing the way Papyrus confidently purred those memories into his ear. The worst part was how accurate he was, right down to him choking himself. How long had he been spying on him?! What else did this freak know?! Now the new captain was going to have to painstakingly search every room of the house for cameras. Was that what Papyrus did in that back room of his? Sans was still clutching his bone attack. He had just enough space to spin around jab the pointed end painfully at the entrance of Papyrus’s costal arch, the spear end pointing right at his soul, the only thing standing between a fatal puncture wound was about a foot and a half of space and a layer of fabric. Sans wasn’t going to humor him by confirming or denying anything.*  
“this is your last warning papyrus. i’ll kill you. don’t think i won’t just because we share blood… now go away from me. i never want to see you again! do you hear me?! never!!!! you make me sick! i should have done this years ago!”

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** Papyrus was very aware of his brother's magic. Still, he wasn't going to back down. He had a promise to fulfill, and he would do it even if hell barred the way. The younger brother wrapped his arms around the older in a tender embrace from behind. His hands, while one of them stayed close to Sans's sternum, the other slowly slid down the arm that held that weapon. " _’i don't deserve you, papyrus,’_ " he recited, the scene replaying in his head. " _’i just wanted you to hate me so much... i wanted you to get fed up and leave.’_ " The more he spoke, the more he slid his hand down that arm. His grasp was strong, but gentle as it moved down his humorous... " _‘sometimes i would fantasize about you killing me and somehow not getting in trouble or feeling guilt.’_ " Along Sans's radius and Ulna... " _‘i'm sorry papyrus. you deserve better.’_ " His hand finally reached Sans's wrist, and those longer phalanges wrapped themselves around the carpals and metacarpals of the smaller. "...AND THEN YOU STARTED CRYING. AND I TOLD YOU THAT I COULDN'T ASK FOR A BETTER BROTHER..."

 **SF! Sans:** “enough!!!!!!!!!!!! will you just _shut up_?!!!!” *Sans was beginning to panic at how much Papyrus seemed to know, reciting the small captain’s real thoughts and desires like an echo flower. But he would never let his nerves show, and some of what Papyrus was saying seemed like pure nonsense. For instance, why would Sans tell Papyrus all this? Secondly, he would never show his tears to Papyrus. Sans struggled violently in Papyrus’s embrace. He was too low to the ground to headbutt him, but he was able to slam the blunt end of the spear into Papyrus’s foot and shatter the delicate bones that made up his feet and toes. Even an experienced masochist couldn’t hold his focus against pain like that, which gave the little master a moment to escape his grasp and get to safe distance from his brother, but close enough to have the spear now jammed into his ribs, just an inch away from the broken soul that only had 1 hp. Sans had a mad look in his eye. If Papyrus knew everything, then he would know just how long… No… He couldn’t know something like that. Sans never even did anything. In fact, Sans tried to avoid his brother as much as possible his whole life for that very reason. But the worry still lingered for a moment before he focused on getting control over, or euthanizing his dog.* “it was a dream papyrus! it was all just a stupid dream! what do you think you’re going to do? are you going to rape me because some messed up version of me in your subconscious wanted it? stop touching me! don’t put your hands on me again! do you understand? if you really worship me that much, then you’ll do as i say!”

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** A howl of a scream left the younger skeleton, and he fell to the floor in pure agony. He wanted to sit up and cradle his foot, but the spear that had sheathed itself in his ribs had him frozen in place. Tears cascaded down the sides of Papyrus's cheekbones, and sobs wracked him. He looked at the bone spear, then turned his gaze to the one wielding it. He had one more chance. He'd promised he wouldn't die for his brother, but...  
Papyrus shook his head at the skeleton before him. "I'M S-SORRY, M'LORD. I C-CAN'T DO THAT. I P-PROMISED MY B-BROTHER I'D M-MAKE HIM R-REMEMBER WHAT WE'D B-BEEN THROUGH T-TOGETHER IF HE F-FORGOT AFTER THE T-TIME R-RESET." His sockets, their lights having returned, held a silent plea in them. He wanted to give Sans his soul, to make him see that those dreams weren't just dreams, and that they'd actually happened. But with how angry Sans was, he'd likely just crush his soul before he could pull a memory out. "AND... I WANT HIM BACK! I WANT THE BROTHER THAT FELL IN LOVE WITH ME WHEN I WAS A KID! I WANT THE BROTHER WHO WAITED ALMOST FIFTEEN YEARS FOR ME TO LOVE HIM BACK! I WANT THE BROTHER WHO SHARED HIS MEMORIES WITH ME, AND SAW MY OWN MEMORIES, TOO. I WANT THE BROTHER WHO PROTECTED ME WHEN WE LIVED ON THE STREETS, AND THE BROTHER I PROTECTED WHEN A TIME-MANIPULATING HUMAN TRIED TO KILL HIM! I DON'T WANT A LORD ANYMORE! I WANT MY BROTHER!"  
Papyrus broke down after that. He hung his head low, sockets shut, and bawled his eye sockets out. If Sans wanted to kill him, then he would let him. Anything to stop the ache in his soul. “...WHY DOES IT HAVE TO HURT SO MUCH?”

 **SF! Sans:** *He knew. He knew just how deep it hurt Sans to have Papyrus in his life. He still saw him as just a child, still waiting for him to become an adult. Seeing the grown skeleton cry just like he had in those early years hurt Sans. As a child, Sans would do anything to make Papyrus smile. Even now, in all of his burning rage, it distressed his soul to see Papyrus like this. And he knew… His younger brother knew so much, too much... How the hell did he find out about how long Sans loved him? No, not loved… Lusted after like some disgusting pervert. Admiring him and watching him grow, like a flower. Always watching from as far away as possible. Sans was afraid of what he could do, how easy Papyrus made it for Sans to violate him in the worst ways possible. He was so trusting, so affectionate, always begging for hugs or any physical contact. But whenever Papyrus would get too close to him, he would do whatever he could to keep him away, even when the only option was swatting him like a bug.*  
“I never loved you” *The cracked pain in his voice and the way his spear shook exposed his obvious lie* “stop sobbing and stuttering like some sort of idiot. I think you're old enough to understand that life isn't fair. you can't get what you want just because you have ridiculous dreams about incest and time resets. Why can't you just accept that this is just a dream? do you think I want to kick you out? After all the work I put into you?! why are you crying anyways?! learn how to accept the pain of rejection like an adult. life is pain papyrus. the things we want most in life we never get… you want a brother… well guess what? i want one too! molesting me and kissing me…” *And being so painfully beautiful and loving, even when he was bawling his sockets out,* ”will not get you a brother… now, are you going to leave? or do I really have no other option but to dust you?”

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** He tried to quell his sobbing as much as he could, but his soul ached so much. Papyrus understood what was happening. What had happened. What was going to happen. But his soul couldn't accept it. It throbbed painfully, calling out to a mate that could not hear its cry. A mate that he'd left behind in the other timeline. A mate that no longer wanted him. No. That was a lie. Sans loved him, Papyrus knew. That voice crack was enough to see through his lies, if his memories didn't apply here. He just needed to know that it was ok. That his brother would accept him no matter what. But Papyrus couldn't get through to Sans like this. And he didn't want to die yet. He'd promised his lover that he wouldn't die for him, and at this rate, he wasn't sure if his life was still on the line. He couldn't risk much more. "…I'M S-SORRY, M'LORD" It wasn't directed at the skeleton in front of him. It was directed at the one he'd left behind in the other timeline. The one who loved him as much as he loved Sans. Every Sans. No matter how many resets he had to endure. He had to postpone his promise to keep another. He hoped that one would understand. "I'LL... I'LL GO IF YOU W-WANT ME TO, M'LORD... B-BUT BEFORE I DO... C-CAN I ASK FOR S-SOMETHING?"

 **SF! Sans:** *Sans let out a sigh of relief at the sound of his brother finally seeming to give up. But his brother was acting so unusual, he couldn't bring himself to lower his guard or the spear quite yet. He felt like Papyrus still had some nasty trick up his sleeve. After all, he knew so much… And yet Papyrus kept looking at him so strangely. He really did believe this dream was real. But that morning there was nothing out of the ordinary about him, aside from his usual weirdness, that is. Sans didn't want to admit how strange Papyrus had become. How it felt dangerous to have the spear so close to Papyrus’s soul… Not just because he could kill his brother, but that… He could possibly kill himself. The aura radiating from Papyrus’s magic was so different… Like it was his own magic. And not just because they were brothers.*  
“you can ask, but only if you promise to leave immediately after. i’ll have you know you ruined what was supposed to be a perfect day for me. i hope you're proud of yourself... fucking disgusting rapist. now what do you want?!”

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** His soul hurt so much, and he felt like he was losing his brother all over again. Not admitting to his love was one thing, but being kicked out by him had Papyrus believing he'd never see the only one he'd ever love again. The red-orange upside down heart in his rib cage pulsed and throbbed, desperately trying to reach out to Sans's soul. It wanted its mate. But Papyrus ignored his yearning soul. "I PROMISE, M-M'LORD." He had one chance. One last attempt to get Sans to remember, and he wasn't going to mess it up. "J-JUST ONE LAST KISS. TH-THAT'S ALL I WANT." One last kiss. Their last kiss. With the way he'd approached this, Papyrus didn't know if Sans would want to see him again. Then again, the Sans from the future-past said he liked it when Papyrus broke the rules. He felt so confused. He wanted to make Sans happy again; he knew Sans had suffered waiting for him. But it was suddenly so much harder now. "ONE K-KISS... AND THEN I'LL L-LEAVE."

 **SF! Sans:** *Of course. What else was Sans expecting from the brother that worshipped him, the brother who had vividly dreamt that they made love multiple times, the brother that seemed to know everything about him. He felt conflicted about what decision to make. He studied his brother. He appeared genuinely defeated, hopeless. He held the posture of a monster who had lost everything, who was desperate for something, anything. It hit Sans pretty close to home, and it hurt. But Sans wouldn't show his pain. Sans couldn't kill his brother. He just didn't have it in him. Papyrus was right, he would rather have Papyrus kill him. The death threats were tests to see if Papyrus would stand up for himself...and he always failed. Sans gave his brother a conflicted stare and shrunk the spear in his hand to the size of a dagger, giving Papyrus room to move and putting Sans back in harm’s way. If Papyrus wanted to continue his assault, he now had the option.* “...one kiss? what if i refuse? will you still leave?”

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** Papyrus simply stared at the other for a few seconds, trying desperately to regain some level of composure. Once Sans's weapon withdrew, the taller skeleton slowly rose to a sitting position. The pain in his foot was hardly bearable, but it had ebbed away some. If he was really going to get kicked out, he hoped Sans would let him bandage it beforehand. Injured monsters had a higher death rate than most, since they were obviously weaker and could be taken out easier. He supposed he could always go to his secret place, but he'd have to find something to wrap his foot in... His hoodie had a slit in it from the bone spear. He'd sew that later. The hole wasn't too big. "IF YOU DON'T KISS ME..." Papyrus knew something like this would come up. This was a skeleton that didn't want to admit his love after all. "WELL..." He forced the biggest smile he could muster, and looked up at his lord. It hurt. "I GUESS YOU'LL HAVE TO KILL ME IF YOU WANT ME GONE."

 **SF! Sans:** *For a moment, all Sans could do was stare at his brother while he considered his options. He played impatiently with the small sharp bone in his hand. He didn't have time for these silly incestuous games. Sans was exhausted. He had won the most intense fight of his life that day, and now he was in an even more intense battle. One kiss? Why would he want that when he already stole it? Papyrus was up to something. But... Sans was exhausted. He kept trying to threaten Papyrus, but either his little brother knew that Sans wouldn't kill him, or he genuinely just didn't care anymore. Violence wasn't going to work on him, unless of course he cut off his head or stabbed him in the soul…* “papyrus…”  
*Sans slowly approached his brother, his grip on the dagger tightening with each step, he stopped just in front of him, their height difference made it so they were on the same level. Sans then held out his hand with the weapon in it in front of Papyrus’s face for a moment before dropping it on the ground.* “you called my bluff, congratulations. i’m not going to kill you, but i’m not going to kiss you either… i need you to leave. incest is wrong, papyrus, no matter how deeply you dream of it.” *Sans turned and headed to his room.* “i’m going to bed. do what you need to do for the night to prepare yourself, just be gone by the time I wake up.”

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** Papyrus watched the dagger fall, not making a sound when it hit the floor. He listened to Sans speak, and both his forced smile and soul fell. He felt… conflicted. On one hand, he wasn't going to die. On the other hand, he was still getting kicked out. He wouldn't be able to help Sans remember like that. He probably wouldn't be able to get close like that. He couldn't make any more advances, though. With his foot broken the way it was, he wasn't sure if he'd be able to walk at all. If he wasn't so used to pain, he might still be screaming. But he wasn't. He was sitting on the floor, crying tears he could no longer shed over a love that could no longer remember him. His soul throbbed painfully in his rib cage, begging for that love. "I C-CAN'T, M'LORD." He looked back down at Sans's discarded dagger. It was starting to fade, since Sans had abandoned it. He reached for it, desperate to feel some magic from his lost love. "I MADE A PROMISE..." He cradled the weapon close to his sternum. He could feel the fading magic, no longer cold as ice, but nonetheless familiar.

 **SF! Sans:** *Sans twitched when Papyrus touched the dagger. Even though his back was to him and the bone was mostly faded, he could still feel it. It made him panic. Papyrus could easily do something dramatic in his fragile mental state. And if he did, Sans would never forgive himself. He also felt an odd sensation when the dagger was grabbed. He could feel it pressed against his brother’s chest. His magic had never been that sensitive, especially while it faded. He could feel Papyrus’s miserable, desperate soul, the way it yearned for someone who was and wasn't him... Just one last kiss… Sans felt déjà vu, but Papyrus had never asked Sans to kiss him. At least, not out loud. Every step he took away from Papyrus towards the bedroom took longer. He was only a few feet away from Papyrus when he put his hand on the knob of the door when he heard a voice come from him that was him, but not him.*  
“ _if there’s anything you want to say or do, now’s your chance._ ”  
*The captain pressed his hand over his mouth. He didn't say that... His plan was to ignore Papyrus’s rebellion, and go into his room without another word. The voice came from him, and sounded like him, but it wasn't him. It was spoken in a loving, yet cold tone. like the voice of someone who was going to die. Sans stood frozen in place, almost feeling like it was against his will. He tried to order Papyrus to put down the dagger, But he couldn't move.*

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** Papyrus continued to hold that weapon, feeling its dissipating magic almost seep into his bones. It wasn't the same as the last timeline, there were no memories to share. No loving wounds to receive or kisses to give, but it still felt pretty close. It was still Sans's magic, and his soul remembered. It remembered that first time it fused with its mate. How time itself had seemed to have stopped when they both faced their climaxes. That pure bliss that had overtaken them. The young, heartbroken skeleton clutched that fading dagger and pressed the blunt side of it against his sternum almost desperately, trying to recreate some semblance of what he had in the last timeline. Through the sobbing, a certain melody got caught in his head. "THE OTHER NIGHT, DEAR... AS I LAY SLEEPING... I DREAMED I HELD YOU... IN MY ARMS... BUT WHEN I AWOKE, DEAR... I WAS MISTAKEN... SO I HUNG... MY HEAD... AND I CRIED..." He didn't bother to look over at Sans. He'd lost that battle.

 **SF! Sans:** *Sans felt his face burn hot when his brother sang that song. He hadn’t heard it in ages. And, like so many other things from his past, he tried desperately to remove it from his memory bank. It tore him apart to see the younger skeleton like this. Sans was constantly breaking him bit by bit, but his goal was to numb him from pain. But Papyrus was shattered, as shattered as his foot. He couldn’t just abandon his brother like this. Not after he had stayed by the captain's side through all his abuse and torment, always accepting him. Always seeing through his layers upon layers of false identities, and still loving him unconditionally. Like a dog… _His_ dog.* “god dammit papyrus.” *He walked over to his weeping brother and placed a sympathetic hand on his shoulder.* “don’t sing that song in front of me.”  
*He paused. Papyrus was still crying. Still tormenting him with tears, still shivering in fear at the thought of being abandoned.* “you... can stay. i wasn’t going to kick you out permanently anyway. just... don’t ever touch me without my permission ever again. do you understand?” *Sans spoke to his brother with an unusual softness. Sans blamed the nearly faded bone magic in combination with exhaustion.*

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** He couldn't help but flinch at first. That hand had done so many things to him. Rejected him, then accepted him, only to reject him again. Normally, he wouldn't have done much about it, but he felt so defeated and hopeless, and it was messing with his judgement. When he did look up at the smaller skeleton, all he could think of at first was the brother he'd left behind. The Sans he was failing every time this lord refused him and his soul. The Sans he was failing now, for being sad. He was supposed to be happy for the both of them. There were so many promises he'd made to that brother, and he felt like a failure for not being able to keep them. However, the next thing the Sans in front of him said rocked the younger skeleton out of his misery, if only for a moment. He could stay. He could stay with his lord, even if he wasn't the brother who remembered him. The ache in his soul lessened. It didn't disappear, but it became more bearable. In that moment, Papyrus realized how close Sans was to him. That idea from earlier, that trap he'd had in mind. If he could just... "I UNDERSTAND, M'LORD. BUT..." He sprung; one hand grabbed the wrist of the hand that held his shoulder, the other dove into his chest cavity and retrieved that yearning heart. "I HAVE ONE MORE THING FOR YOU." This was dangerous. If this didn't work, his exposed soul would be left vulnerable for whatever dastardly thing Sans wanted to do with it. Still, this was the only other way he knew how to get through to Sans. Papyrus press his soul to the back of Sans's captured hand, just in case the small captain wanted to try and crush it. He could feel that first night in his mind, flashes of images to tell the story of a young skeleton dominating his older brother in the bedroom. He only hoped that Sans could see it too.

 **SF! Sans:** *You give him an inch… He felt his wrist grabbed against his will, just after specifically saying not to touch him. Before Sans could protest, Papyrus announced he had something for him. The way he said it made the older brother panic. He struggled against Papyrus’s grasp as he reached into his lanky ribcages and pulled out his miserable, worn out soul. Sans blushed when he caught a glimpse at the way it shimmered for him and looked away as quickly as he could and struggled harder.* “what did i just say?! let me go this instant! release----”  
*His protest was stopped short when he felt his brother’s magic pressed against his hand. It seeped through the fabric of his gloves and into the pores of his bones. The magic flowed through his marrow and made its way to his own soul… At first, it was just a feeling of weakness, of helpless vulnerability. Then he felt strangely safe, as if something inside of him was telling him it's ok, telling him it was ok to be weak for this one moment. Papyrus’s soul was warm, soothing, reassuring, accepting… It was all he ever thought it would be and more. Then the visions came. Sans was bound to his own bed and being raped… was he? His arm was wrapped around his assailant, their phalanges intertwined, souls bonded, teeth together… It seemed like a dream. It had to be a dream. But his own mind was calling out to him, telling him this was all real, that this was a forgotten memory. That he had to remember. In the midst of this intense vision, Sans found his voice.* “stop…”  
*It was barely a whisper, but it was enough to bring him back to reality enough to continue struggling, but Papyrus’s grip was locked around his wrist like a crocodile’s jaw.* “stop!!! stop it!!! let me go! you're dead! you hear me?! DEAD!”  
*In his panic he summoned a spear and thrust it at Papyrus’s soul, but stopped just millimeters away. He really could have killed his brother right then and there. But something else took over. Something that was and wasn't him. Something that loved this.*

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** That moment. That single, silent moment when Sans's sockets glazed over and he stopped struggling as he saw the memory of them together... It was so magnificent. Papyrus's soul grew lighter with each second it had contact with its mate. Like each flash of memory was a sand bag being tossed into a sea from a hot air balloon. It was such a relief, and with Sans's reaction, the younger skeleton was sure he could see it too. The contact gave him so much bliss. So much, that he didn't have time to react to the bone spear until it stopped just a breath away from his life source. By the time he registered it, fear wasn't a factor. He looked at the spear, then back up at Sans. He hadn't bothered to wipe his tear tracks away, and the residue of the liquid magic stained his bones. "DID YOU SEE IT, M'LORD?" Even to his own hearing, Papyrus wasn't sure if he sounded hopeful or desperate. "OUR FIRST NIGHT... DO YOU REMEMBER NOW?" He gave the other a strained smile, completely ignoring the threat of death. "I COULD SHOW YOU MORE, M'LORD. EVERYTHING FROM THE LAST TIMELINE."

 **SF! Sans:** “those are just dreams. your filthy, disgusting wet dreams.” *Sans growled, though he felt so unsure of himself. The soul against the back of his hand was corrupting his thoughts. It took all his concentration to resist asking for more... He was even tempted to offer Papyrus his own soul. “why are you making this so difficult for me? what do you expect to get out of this? you want me to make this already strained relationship we have more complicated? let's say your little timeline thing is real. what then? you are just going to keep waking up and soiling our brotherhood, hoping i’ll squeal for you like a whore?” *A memory whispered _‘i love you, master’_ in his own voice, making Sans shudder.* “no… i don't want to see anymore.” *Finally, somehow, Sans managed to pull his hand away from his brother’s grasp.* “if any of that was real, and it’s not. the only reason you thought i wanted to soul bond with you is because i was probably intoxicated from your magic. you essentially drugged me brother. you drugged me against my will and raped me.” *Sans walked towards the front door. If he couldn't get Papyrus to leave, then he was going to.* “i’m not mad at you…. i blame myself.”

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** It was funny how quickly a hot air balloon could get caught in a blizzard. Any relief his soul had gained was gone in an instant and replaced with something dark and heavy. Drugged. Raped. They were such ugly words. And yet, Papyrus found himself starting to believe them. That fragment of darkness spread across his soul, berating him. Scolding him. He'd drugged his brother and fooled him into thinking he was in love. That was the only thing that made sense. No wonder Sans had never loved him like that before. It was his fault. All because he couldn't love anyone other than his brother. Stewing in his thoughts, it wasn't until Sans started descending the stairs that Papyrus looked up. Wasn't he supposed to go to his room? Papyrus dragged himself along the floor, since his foot was essentially dead weight, stopping at the edge of the stairs. By that point, Sans had made it to the front door. The younger brother's sockets widened when he realized what the other was doing. "M'LORD!" He reached his hand out, as if that would do something. Well, it did do something. Papyrus lost his balance and tumbled down the stairs. He landed on an arm wrong when he reached the bottom, however. His radius and ulna, oddly the same ones he'd broken to defend his brother from that human, were badly fractured by the fall. He didn't care. He used his one good arm and one good leg to crawl after Sans. "SANS, B-BROTHER, PLEASE!" He'd started crying again. Stars he was such a baby. "PLEASE DON'T GO. I-I'll BE GOOD. I P-PROMISE I WILL. I W-WON'T TOUCH YOU AGAIN. I-I'LL STAY IN M-MY ROOM SO YOU D-DON'T HAVE TO S-SEE ME. I'LL LEAVE YOUR HOUSE IF YOU WANT. I..." By that point, he'd crawled all the way to Sans's feet, Papyrus was low to the ground, half from him being unable to get up and half in reverence. He would have kissed his brother's shoes, but he was sure that counted as touching. "I J-JUST DON'T WANT TO L-LOSE YOU!"

 **SF! Sans:** *Sans was at the door when he heard his brother fall down the stairs. For a second he forgot his petty rage and acknowledged him. But instead of screaming in pain from the fracture, he screamed for Sans. The small skeleton had reached his mental limit for cruelty. Especially when he said _that_. It wasn't a memory pulled out, it was a memory they shared. When Sans first started hurting his brother, desperately hoping that Papyrus would grow to hate him. But as the years went on, the taller skeleton grew more and more infatuated, and Sans grew darker and more sadistic than ever. He was so determined for Papyrus to hate him. He wanted his brother to grow strong from his hatred, learn how to kill, to gain LOVE, maybe he would have had more HP. But instead he just mastered the skill of evading battles and taking Sans’s abuse with an ever increasing eagerness. But Sans was breaking just like his brother. He didn't know if it was the brief interaction with Papyrus’s soul, but Sans turned and once again was at his brother's side, unable to bring himself to leave.*  
“look at yourself! look at what you let your emotions do to you!” *He knew he shouldn't be touching him, but he couldn't just leave him in pieces! Sans hastily set the fracture, then removed his red scarf and wrapped it around his arm. As he wrapped it he spoke softly.* “this is all my fault. you don't really have any romantic feelings for me. you are just so starved for my affection as a brother, you grew desperate.” *He reached around his brother’s ribs and pulled him up to his knees.* “i can't leave you like this... come on brother... let's get you into bed.” *Papyrus’s weight felt good as they climbed the stairs, but Sans wouldn't admit that.*

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** He didn't know who to believe anymore. The future-past or the present. One was really nice, but one made him have doubts about the other. At this point though, he was too exhausted to care. He was broken and spent. His tears had run dry, and he could only choke on sobs. Emotions. They were what had caused this. His stupid crush. His desperation to hear his brother say three words. All because of him. And now, he was a complete wreck. A sobbing baby bones broken inside and out. He cherished his brother for sacrificing his bandana for the sake of his broken arm. He didn't feel deserving of Sans's love. He'd messed up so badly, both in this timeline and the past one. No wonder his brother had wanted to leave. He was a disgusting, sinful pervert. A rapist, even. He was supposed to take his brother's punishments without question. Not snap on him and rape him. And especially not drug him with his magic and fool him into thinking they could be together. Papyrus had to use Sans for support as they slowly made their way back up the stairs. The entire time, when the younger skeleton wasn't choking on dry sobs, he was apologizing. "I'M SORRY... I'M SORRY, M'LORD... I'M SO SORRY..." Who he was apologizing to, the future-past or the present, his mind was too exhausted and confused to care.

 **SF! Sans:** *This was the way he wanted it, right? The baby brother scared to touch him, terrified of his older brother's presence, ashamed and disgusted by the consequences of the love he felt for him. All in the hopes that he could learn how to live powerful and alone. His strength would help him cope with the emptiness. But Papyrus never gained any strength. Sans failed as a brother, Kicking Papyrus out into the cold unforgiving world of monsters, especially when he was like this… Sans would lose everything. Papyrus was the only thing he had. The house, the respect, the prestige… He wouldn't have any of that without Papyrus. Sans dragged the much taller skeleton to his dark depressing mess of a bedroom and laid him on the bare, stained mattress he slept on. Seeing him laying there, looking up at him so miserably reminded Sans of just how much of a failure he was. Even with all the success he'd had, he still failed as a brother. He knew he should leave the room, but something kept him by his brother’s side. Something was making him soothe Papyrus by tenderly stroking his skull. The way Papyrus leaned into his touch… It was so familiar.*  
“stop apologizing…why can't you just learn how to be strong? i did. i learned how to overcome my feelings. so can you.” *But that wasn't entirely true, he only learned how to hide on the outside. In that moment his true feelings were haunting him, hissing at him to kiss his brother, touch him more.* “don't you want to make me proud of you?”

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** Papyrus was grateful. He was grateful for Sans staying. He was grateful for Sans not making him leave. He was grateful that Sans was kind enough to lend him the scarf he rarely removed to use as temporary gauze. He was grateful that Sans was merciful enough to help him into bed. Still, as grateful as he was, he felt that he couldn't apologize enough. Sans was the best brother ever, and Papyrus couldn't hope to repay him for everything he'd been given. Unfortunately, strength wasn't something the taller, younger skeleton had much supply of. Reluctantly, he shook his head. "I'M S-SORRY, M'LORD. I WANT TO BE A GOOD B-BROTHER AND MAKE YOU PROUD, BUT... I'M NOT S-STRONG ENOUGH. I C-CAN'T STOP MYSELF FROM L-LOVING YOU, M'LORD. IT HURTS, BUT... IT FEELS B-BETTER THAN BEING EMPTY. I DON'T W-WANT TO BE EMPTY, M'LORD... AND I DON'T WANT Y-YOU TO BE EMPTY EITHER." Despite all of the pain and confusion he was suffering in, Papyrus's gaze on his brother was still soft and caring. "YOU WERE S-SO HAPPY IN THAT DREAM, M'LORD. HAPPIER TH-THAN I'VE EVER SEEN YOU... I WANT YOU T-TO BE HAPPY, M'LORD. AND IF I HAVE TO H-HURT FOR IT, THEN I'LL TAKE EVERY P-PUNISHMENT YOU GIVE ME. I LOVE YOU, M'LORD."

 **SF! Sans:** *Those three words. So ugly. They represented such weakness. Such passive submission... And yet he looked so beautiful when he said those words. He knew he was doing wrong, but Papyrus’s love for his brother was all the strength he had.* “again with the stupid dream? papyrus… i am happy. i’m the most magnificent monster in the entire underground. i’m respected and feared by everyone who knows me. even my own brother addresses me as a lord. and today, i became the captain of the royal guard! i wouldn't be surprised if the queen asked for my hand in marriage, then you can address me as your highness! i’ll have everything I ever wanted! everything…” *As sans boasted and lied, he felt the emptiness echo inside him. He knew Papyrus was right. All he had to do was surrender. He slowly leaned forward. All he had to do was do that one thing he had been wanting to do for what felt like his entire life. The small skeleton’s gaze softened as he got closer to Papyrus’s teeth. He almost closed his eyes, just a bit further… but then he froze, and pulled away. He pressed his hand over his mouth in shock at his behavior, then slapped Papyrus across the face.*  
“do you see what you almost made me do?! you are such a burden. i hate you. you ruin everything with your stupid dreams and desires. you really, really do.” *Sans got up and left the room as quickly as he could. He hoped he had turned away before Papyrus had seen the tears. He wanted to kiss his brother so badly, but he just couldn't do it. When he made it to his bed he grabbed his pillow to muffle out the screams.*

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** Kiss, slap, insult, repeat. Papyrus remembered that pattern. The last time it had happened though, they were on the bathroom floor. But that was in the future-past. The Sans of the present would never bring him to someplace as special or significant as the bathroom unless he was going to gauze a wound for his younger brother. Still, that slap was enough to snap Papyrus back to his senses. There was always a constant with Sans, and that was his lies. Sans always lied, especially when it came to his feelings about his younger brother. He hadn't drugged and raped Sans. Sure, he'd technically assaulted his brother, but he would have stopped after Sans's magic almost killed them both if he hadn't noticed that hunger in Sans's sockets. That hidden desire to feel his brother so close. And that, too, had shown itself. It was only for a split second, but Papyrus was sure he'd seen tears in his brother's sockets just before he left. Papyrus stared at his ceiling, a light frown on his otherwise tired features. His brother was hurting, the younger knew. Sans always kept his feelings locked up, but Papyrus had been to the depths of his soul. He knew Sans's secrets, and he could tell that his brother needed him, now more than ever. Papyrus was tired, though. He was completely drained after everything that had happened. As he felt himself drift off, though, he felt two things. The amazement of seeing his brother as king, and the subtle, jealous rage of having Queen Toriel marry his brother instead of him.

 **SF! Sans:** *Sans would have been asleep by now. Exhaustion was clawing at his mind and soul. He felt hazy and heavy, his body was ready for sleep. But unconsciousness just wouldn't come. As usual, this was Papyrus’s fault. It was always Papyrus’s fault. Normally Sans would take a cold shower, but he was determined to sleep without needing to… relieve tension in such a way. Instead Sans took the pillow he had been screaming into, held it between his knees, and started punching it as hard as he could. After a while, he tired himself out enough to where he had to lay down. Sans was still unable to sleep. Still pretending the pillow was his brother, he wrapped his hands around it and squeezed, imagining it was that long, slender neck.*  
“you ruin everything…” *Sans whispered to the pillow as quietly as possible.* “why so you have to be so in love with me? why do you have to be so beautiful?” *His ‘choke’ transformed into a tight but tired embrace.* “papyrus… why papy?” *He pressed the cushion to his chest. Sans’s soul was burning. Sans checked the doorway quickly before pulling his sheets over his head and reached into his ribcage. He entertained the possibility that there was another timeline, another life where he made love to Papyrus. He thought about what he saw when Papyrus had him touch his soul. Sans saw his own face screwed up in pleasure, glazed over sockets staring euphorically and lovingly into his brother’s... He really had looked happy in the dream. He stroked his own soul, gently, carefully, like he thought Papyrus would.* “papy…” *With such a very realistic fantasy, didn't take Sans very long before he was able to push his desperate soul to its limit. And finally, it was enough for sans to sleep.*


	16. Nightmares

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, ok. This is very late. Short answer is that my laptop screen broke. I'll need that replaced, or to just get a new laptop altogether. So, because of this, and also because we're close to the buffer where me and Fifi have written, the schedule is going to be changed. Once every week. I apologize for making you people wait.

**Swapfell!Papyrus:** He made it about halfway through the night before the nightmares started to plague him. Normally, they would be about past resets where either Sans or himself were killed by the human. This time, however, it was something so much worse.  
_Papyrus was in some dimly lit room. He wore a collar, not unlike the one Future-past Sans gave him for their trip to New Home. Unlike that collar, however, this one was made of metal, and it's weight made the inside spikes scrape painfully against his cervical vertebrae. There were a few chain links attached to the back of the collar that connected it to a wall behind him. He couldn't move. On one arm, the same arm he'd broken, a raven had chosen to perch on his ulna. The bird's talons dug into the bone, and it was pecking a hole into his radius with its sharp beak. Papyrus moved to shoo the bird away, but found that his other wrist was chained up as well. He looked around frantically, and called out for help. But nobody came. At least not at first. It wasn't until the raven had pecked a decent hole into his radius and the bone started bleeding that he noticed him. Sans. The older brother was chained on the opposite side of the room, hanging from a pair of chains cuffed to his wrists that disappeared into the darkness above. His battle body was all but shreds of cloth that rendered him almost completely exposed. His head, held down at first, rose slowly until he finally met Papyrus's gaze. He was crying. Papyrus tried to call out to his brother, but no sound escaped him. He tried to struggle against his bonds, but that only made the spikes of his cuffs dig into his bones, making them bleed. Out of nowhere, a dark, sadistic chuckle broke the silence, and from the shadows emerged another Sans. This Sans was every bit as menacing as he imagined Queen Toriel, and his voice chilled Papyrus to his core. "why did you do it, papy?" The nightmare Sans glared at him. "why did you rape me? i thought you loved me, papyrus." The younger skeleton tried to speak, to say something to defend himself, but only silence came from him. The nightmare Sans chuckled darkly, then moved to his chained up and tormented twin. He trailed a hand along the crying Sans's mandible, down his cervical vertebrae, past his clavicle, until it rested any the bottom of his sternum. His gaze focused on the soul of the exposed one. "you want this soul, don't you papy?" He shoved his hand inside the other's rib cage, and the tormented Sans cried out when his soul was removed. It was cracked. Another raven flew in from seemingly nowhere, and it found a perch by Papyrus's foot. It started pecking that foot, and was soon joined by the first raven. Papyrus couldn't move away. "you poor, sick thing. you can't even love correctly. i guess i'll have to show you what happens when you love someone..." The free Sans grinned maliciously, then bit down on his twin's soul. The other screamed, writhing against his bonds. Then, suddenly, both of them started to fade. Starting with their feet, the two Sanses slowly became dust. Papyrus struggled and strained against his bonds, trying desperately to reach the dust piles, but only causing himself further injury. Then, suddenly, everything went cold. He felt one of the ravens perch on his ribs and peck his soul. One good peck was all it took. -1 HP. Papyrus felt himself fade, his fingers and toes losing their form and crumbling into dust, until finally, he was no more._  
He woke up to pain. His foot had started healing in his sleep, and without the proper treatment, it hurt a lot. His arm wasn't much better, but his brother's banana had helped. He covered his mouth, trying to muffle himself in case his screams hadn't woken up his brother.

 **SF! Sans:** *He never dreamed. Sometimes Sans wondered if Papyrus had some weird magic power to eat dreams. His subconscious was always an empty void. Though Sans felt that this had to do with the fact that he was a feather light sleeper, which had been proven useful time and time again as a survival skill on the streets. Anything that could endanger the brothers had to be thrown away and forgotten. Sans still held onto that philosophy well into adulthood. The captain snapped awake to the sound of his brother screaming. At this point it was almost a comfort to him. It reminded him that Papyrus was still around, that he had done his job at keeping him alive. However, his brother’s nightmares had been growing more frequent in recent times though. The older skeleton wanted to be annoyed, he could have gotten a couple more hours of sleep before he had to start his day, but he was wide awake now. Normally, Sans would ignore it. But this nightmare sounded particularly bad. And… Well, Sans had a lot on his mind. The screaming stopped as soon as Sans walked out of his bedroom. He thought about Papyrus’s fractures, and stopped in the bathroom to pick up gauze before finally entering his brother’s bedroom, looking tired and irritated at being woken up.* “i’m going to have to start gagging you before bed.”  
*It was refreshing to see Papyrus have that old guilty, terrified, but ‘oh so relieved to see his big brother after a bad dream’ expression, and he seemed to have come to his senses from yesterday. When Sans sat on the end of the beat-up old mattress, Papyrus bent his legs to give Sans plenty of room. He even seemed kind of frightened when Sans carefully grabbed the leg with the broken foot and rested it on his lap.* “honestly…” *He unraveled the gauze and began wrapping the foot.* “don't you think you are a bit too old to be having nightmares? maybe it's time you get a new mattress? i think after this wound heals you should focus on working harder. that way you won't have all this free time to think about filthy things.”  
*He finished the foot, then Sans snatched Papyrus’s hand, which he seemed extremely hesitant to give to his older brother. Sans tried to take that as a good sign, that Papyrus was already beginning to move on. That he was finally realizing that he wasn't in love. He removed his red scarf and rewrapped the fracture properly.* “how are you feeling? do you think you will be able to walk today?”

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** Mostly quiet sobs stopped as soon as Papyrus heard his brother's voice. The younger, tormented skeleton saw Sans at his doorway and at first, the only thing he could think of was the Sanses from his dream. The one chained up and the nightmare. Then, reality set in. He'd woken his brother. Sans was probably mad at him. Relief, fear, worry, and guilt gnawed at Papyrus's soul as his brother made his way into his room. He pulled his legs close to himself so Sans would have room to sit, only to wince when the bones in his broken foot shifted too much as a consequence. He would have been fine listening to Sans yell at him, he knew it was probably warranted, but when the older skeleton grabbed his leg, the younger couldn't help but think of the ravens. That, combined with the reason why his foot was broken, had Papyrus worry if Sans was going to break it more. He was pleasantly surprised when that turned out to be not the case. "I'M SORRY, M'LORD."  
It was the only thing he said to Sans's comments. When the shorter skeleton held his hand out for his arm, however, Papyrus only moved the arm closer to his rib cage. Having his brother's scarf on his arm was something special. It reminded him of the last timeline, and how deep down, Sans truly cared. That he did love Papyrus as much as the younger brother loved him. He didn't want to part with it. But whether he liked it or not, Sans seemed adamant on getting his bandana back. Once his arm was rewrapped, Papyrus gave his hand a few test flexes. It still hurt, but not like before.  
"THANK YOU, M'LORD. I FEEL..." Honesty. Sans liked honesty from him. "I DON'T FEEL TOO WELL. I DON'T THINK I CAN WALK... BUT I'LL TRY, IF YOU WANT ME TO, M'LORD!" He added the last part quickly, then shifted himself so that he was prepared to stand. He was already regretting the decision. He was exhausted, confused, in pain, and a bunch of other emotions that swirled around in his mind from both the dream and the events before bed.

 **SF! Sans:** “that’s the spirit, mongrel!” *After finishing wrapping the wound, he tied his beloved scarf back around his neck. He felt so naked without it.* “but you won’t try, you _will_ be walking with me. after yesterday's episode, i think we have to have a talk. i’d normally be taking my morning jog, but i think a nice long walk will make up for it.”  
*Sans was still riled up from yesterday. He was surprised at Papyrus’s aggressive behavior. And even though now his younger brother was cowering, he still couldn't help but think of the vision of himself tied up in his own bed with Papyrus on top of him. What could have possibly led him to do that? Though… secretly, he was jealous of the Sans in Papyrus’s dream.* “i need to get changed, i will meet you downstairs in 5 minutes, do i make myself clear?”  
*Obviously, the walk was mostly intended as a punishment for Papyrus. The excruciating pain it would cause his broken foot would remind him why he should stay away from Sans. Even if it hurt them both to be isolated from one another. Sans was quick to get dressed. Papyrus’s five minutes were reduced to 3 as Sans impatiently shrieked at him to hurry up.* “but watch those stairs! we don't want a third broken limb, now do we?” *When Papyrus made it to the front door, Sans smiled.* “we are going to go quite far, but i promise, it will be worth it.”

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** Despite the horrible feelings, the encouragement Sans gave him was enough to set aside half of them. He nodded to his brother, understanding perfectly. Once Sans was out of the room, however, Papyrus didn't move. His gaze was on the floor, and he kept it there while he slowly debated with himself. He didn't want to get up. But he didn't want to sleep. But he didn't want to further disappoint his lord. That constant circle of thought was interrupted by Sans's shouting from downstairs. He only had three minutes now. With a sigh and a groan, Papyrus finally pushed himself up from his mattress. Even the subtle pressure of putting weight on his toes hurt, and he bit back a cry of pain and held his breath against a moan of pleasure. He had to make it seem like he was completely miserable. He got about halfway to his door before he stopped. If they were going for a walk... Papyrus spun on his good heel and limped to his closet. He searched around, hoping he'd find-- yes! It was here! Papyrus quickly stuffed the item into the pocket of his coat, then limped out of his room. He was careful on the stairs this time, and after a painstakingly long time, he finally met Sans at the front door. "ACTUALLY, M'LORD..." He bowed his head a little while keeping his eyes on Sans, then slowly retrieved that item from his pocket to show his lord. It was the same collar and leash that had lead to that first night in the last timeline. Dark, red-stained leather with silver studs on the collar. "I MIGHT LAG BEHIND A BIT, SO I THOUGHT... MAYBE YOU COULD USE THIS?" He offered the handle of the leash to Sans.

 **SF! Sans:** *For a long time, all Sans could do was stand there and stare in silence. It seemed innocent enough. Papyrus just wanted to keep up with his brother, and considering how ungodly long it took for him to get down the stairs, it would prove useful. Still... Sans was suspicious. He gave his brother a long, hard, piercing stare before finally snatching the leash out of his brother’s hand and unclasping the collar.*  
“i’m only using this on you because it will prove useful. after yesterday i’ve decided that i’m done with this sadomasochistic foolishness. we are strictly brothers from here on out, understand?”  
*But right from the very beginning, Sans’s impatience and sadistic impulses tested him. Papyrus was incredibly slow on his broken foot, and there were even times where Sans wondered if he was being slow on purpose. Sans’s original goal was to get to a certain place by a certain time. But by the time they made it to waterfall, the brothers were already 30 minutes behind Sans’s schedule. Sans wanted to reach this place before monsters started waking up. So, the captain had no choice but to pick up his pace and pull Papyrus along, much to both their secret pleasure.*  
“ah, here we are.” *Finally they reached it. A well hidden, easy to overlook, nostalgic patch of tall black grass with an echo flower here and there, and right in the center of the patch was a few planks of old, rotting wood and the implication of an incredibly small foundation. Just big enough for two small children to lay down in.* “do you remember this place?”

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** The more Sans stared, the more unnerved Papyrus became. Had he done something wrong? Was he going to be punished? The taller skeleton considered just putting the leash back in his pocket and forgetting about it, but Sans finally took it before he could put the action into motion. Upon hearing Sans's decision, however, Papyrus felt his soul fall and grow panicked at the same time. Did that mean no more punishments? What would happen if he messed up? His brother had started those punishments for a reason. Was this his fault? It had to be. It was always his fault. Papyrus bent down, baring his neck to his brother so the other could set the collar on him. Once it was fastened, he shook his head a bit to test the leather. It wasn't very tight, much to the taller's disappointment.  
Maybe it was to spite his brother, or maybe it was his own exhaustion, but after a little while of walking, Papyrus stopped pushing himself so hard to keep up with his brother. He simply had too much on his mind, and the pain in his foot was too unbearable. Not because of the pain itself, but because of the circumstances of the injury. He felt like a failure in every sense of the word. A failure of a brother. A failure of a lover. A failure of a monster. It wasn't until Sans started dragging him along and forcing him to pick up his pace that he was able to set aside those thoughts. He let the feeling of the leather pulling him along ground him.  
When they reached their destination, Papyrus barely recognized it. But a quick flashback to Sans's memory jogged his own. Their first house. For the first time in a while, Papyrus felt himself smile. It was small, but at least it was genuine. "OF COURSE I DO, M'LORD. OUR FIRST HOUSE..." But this begged the question why Sans had brought him here. Papyrus looked to his lord with that very question in his gaze.

 **SF! Sans:** “i’m sure you're wondering why i brought you here. well...” *He glanced at his brother’s smile and immediately turned away, it hurt too much. Sans walked over to the center, where the grass grew sparse, where once the brothers could huddle together close on cold nights… when Papyrus was still small enough to fit in Sans’s arms. He gently pulled Papyrus over and the two sat down together on the small square. Sans gazed at the star like ceiling.*  
“this place means a lot to me. this is where i go sometimes when it all becomes too much for me. when i need to be alone to think. it's the last place where we were truly brothers, where i would tell you everything. back before...” *Sans turned away. Sans wanted to say back before he had to distance himself, back before he became a danger to their brotherhood and Papyrus’s innocence. Back before things got ugly… back before Sans fell in love for the first and only time.*  
“...never mind. the point is, i wanted to show you this place. maybe it will help you remember that before all this nonsense we were just two children trying to survive. that we were brothers, are brothers. and we shouldn't complicate things. you’re an adult now, you need to find someone who you can make happy, someone who isn't me. someone who...”  
*They had just gotten here and already Sans was lying. Sans didn't want Papyrus with anyone else. He wanted him all to himself. If Papyrus met another monster Sans would probably kill them and claim it was self defense… or he would just distance himself further, never seeing Papyrus ever again. Sans continued staring at the ceiling and inched his hand closer to Papyrus’s until he felt his pinky just lightly brush against the larger hand. Hand holding still counted as innocent, right? Even if Sans couldn’t bring himself to look at Papyrus. He just kept staring at the ceiling, making constellations out of the gems above him, like they did so many years ago.* “...someone who you can love.”

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** Papyrus was quick, well as quick as he was able, to join his brother on what remained of their little shack. Being here now, he felt so big. He wouldn't be able to lay down without something hanging off, and for a fleeting moment, he couldn't help but go back to those days when Sans was the bigger brother. He didn't remember a lot from back then, but he had fragments of memories. Most of them were of him and Sans taking shelter here. Scenes of them eating whatever Sans had managed to bring "home" or cuddling up together to share the warmth of the large hoodie they'd found in the trash. The same hoodie Papyrus still brandished. He clutched at the side of it with his undamaged hand, turning his gaze to the ceiling. How long had it been since they'd just sat down and talked? How many years...?  
Papyrus listened to his brother speak, but by the end of it, the only thing he could do was sigh. "I ALREADY TRIED THAT, M'LORD." This wasn't the time for lies, as much as Papyrus knew Sans was. Sans always lied about his wants and needs. He was the older brother. He had appearances to keep. Papyrus though... The younger brother usually said what he thought Sans would like to hear. He wanted to make Sans happy, more than anything else. He had suffered in silence for 15 years, and Papyrus was finally reaching out to help him out of that hole. Sans just needed to take his hand. "TWO YEARS AGO. IT WAS ABOUT TWO YEARS AGO, BUT... I REMEMBER HOW SCARED AND CONFUSED I WAS. THERE WERE ALL THESE NEW FEELINGS, AND I DIDN'T REALLY UNDERSTAND THEM. SO, I WENT TO THE LIBRARY AND READ A FEW BOOKS. I FIGURED OUT WHAT WAS WRONG, AND WHY I FELT SO WEIRD AROUND YOU WHEN I DIDN'T BEFORE."  
Hitting puberty at 17 was definitely a scary experience for the younger skeleton. Having been too afraid and nervous to ask his brother about it, the only things he had been able to consult were those library books. They'd offered some insight, but he still had some lingering regrets. Maybe if he'd just spoken up and asked his brother... "SO THEN, WHEN I FINALLY GAINED THE COURAGE AND CONFESSED, YOU LEFT THE HOUSE AND CAME BACK WITH BOTH OF YOUR HANDS SHATTERED FROM PUNCHING BOULDERS." Honestly, he'd forgotten how much Sans had told him about his injuries that day, if at all, but he remembered bandaging them for him, and he remembered seeing Sans's perspective of that memory. "I DIDN'T WANT YOU TO HURT YOURSELF LIKE THAT AGAIN, SO I TRIED KEEPING MY CRUSH TO MYSELF. I TRIED FINDING SOMEONE ELSE, I REALLY DID."  
His grasp on his hoodie tightened, a memory he'd tried to suppress resurfacing. He moved his other hand to grasp the hand Sans had placed so close to it. His grip was tight, despite the break on that arm. "THEN... THERE WAS A TIME WHEN I WAS OVERDUE PAYING MY TAB AT MUFFET'S... SH-SHE... I... SHE M-MADE ME..." He'd started trembling, and his gaze fell from the ceiling to the ground. "IT DIDN'T F-FEEL RIGHT... DOING THOSE TH-THINGS TO HER... I COULDN'T G-GO B-BACK FOR W-WEEKS..." He took a breath, trying to calm himself. "...I'M SO MESSED UP, M'LORD. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH. TOO MUCH. I DON'T WANT TO LOVE ANYONE ELSE. I _CAN'T_ LOVE ANYONE ELSE. MY SOUL BELONGS TO YOU AND NO ONE ELSE."

 **SF! Sans:** *He just stood there taking it all in, a silent rage building up that he desperately tried to ignore. But with Papyrus’s trembling hand grasping his own, the fact that Sans was never very good at suppressing his rage, and finally, the fact that they were alone, made it impossible for Sans to keep the storm of emotions in.* “i’m going to kill her” *Sans finally spoke, it was almost impossible to hear him with the sound of running water in the background. He felt so betrayed, even though this is what he wanted Papyrus to do… find someone else. But not like _this_.*  
“but first, i’m going to kill _you_!” *Sans stood up and grabbed his brother’s jaw, prying it open and forcing him to look into his sockets.* “how dare you love me, when you will just sell yourself to any monster who will pay for your disgusting, soiled soul. that’s what you let her do right? touch your soul? she could have killed you!!! you idiot! you worthless, sad excuse of a monster!” *He spit into his open mouth, then slapped him hard enough to send him onto the cool, damp ground where they once slept.*  
“you make me sick...” *But Sans’s tone of voice was more sad than angry. He never knew Papyrus was willing to do anything to deny his feelings, just like Sans. Only Papyrus did so much more. Sans had years of hard emotional training. He was exceptionally skilled at being cold and indifferent. On the rare occasion where a monster was brave enough to flirt with him, he was able to easily turn them down as hard as possible, flicking them away like an insect. And it was easy for the small skeleton to never be personal with anyone. And as his reputation grew, everyone grew familiar with his unapproachable nature. Sans preferred it that way. Over the years he became quite comfortable with the idea that he was going to be alone. Though maybe Papyrus helped him from getting too desperate. He was always there. Always eagerly waiting for him when he got home, when he woke up in the morning. Always there whenever Sans felt lonely. *  
“you whored yourself out to forget about a ‘crush’. is that what i am to you?” *Sans sat down on his brother’s stenum, wrapped his hands around his neck, and squeezed, squinting down at him, as if Papyrus’s face was too bright.*  
“if you can’t find anybody, then just learn to be alone, like me.” *But Sans was never really alone. Even now, he had Papyrus by his side, now more than ever needing comforting. Sans’s choke turned into a soft caress of the occipital, parietal, frontal, zygomatic, maxilla, finally resting at his mandible.* “just like me.” *He leaned in, and pressed his teeth against Papyrus’s. They never really were ‘just brothers’ anyway.*

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** The movement was sudden, and he had no time to react. He didn’t even attempt to move or look away while Sans yelled at him. Papyrus wanted to tell his brother he was wrong. That he wouldn’t just sell himself away. That the situation was different. But when he was cast to the ground, he only had enough to say “NO, M’LORD. I--” before his voice was cut short. Sans’s hold on his neck was strong, and he could barely voice small, gasping sounds around those steady phalanges, let alone words.  
He listened, he always listened, but what Sans said made little sense to Papyrus. Sans wasn’t alone, he was never alone. He had a younger brother to care about him. Even before his stupid crush, Papyrus had always been so willing to make his brother happy, even at his own expense. So when their teeth pressed together, it was an almost automatic response for the younger brother to return that kiss. For the most fleeting of moments, before the kiss broke, he could feel the brother he’d left behind in the other timeline. The loving one who loved him freely, rather than pushed him away. In that moment, time seemed to stop. But the kiss did break, and Papyrus finally took his turn to speak.  
“I DIDN’T SELL MYSELF TO MUFFET, M'LORD. SHE WOULD HAVE KILLED ME IF I HADN'T DONE IT. AND SHE NEVER TOUCHED MY SOUL. I PLEASURED HER. HER SOUL...” He felt his sins crawling on his back. The memories were haunting images blurred from a dunken stupor. “IT WAS HORRIBLE. HER MAGIC IS SO CONSTRICTING AND INVASIVE. B-BUT YOUR MAGIC...” His gaze on his brother shifted from unease and regret to adoration and security. “YOUR MAGIC IS NICE. IT'S... THRILLING, AND DANGEROUS, BUT ALSO BEAUTIFUL AND SWEET.” He paused to simply stare at the one he cherished more than any other. He couldn't help but find Sans, with all of those battle scars decorating his bones, truly beautiful in the glow of Waterfall's luminescent water. “IF YOU THINK YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE DRUNK ON HIS BROTHER’S MAGIC, M'LORD... I’M SORRY, BUT YOU'RE WRONG.”

 **SF! Sans:** *Sans found himself unusually flustered at the compliment. Beautiful was not the first word he would use to describe his magic. For a second he almost didn’t know what to say. But the rage returned tenfold when he processed what happened between Papyrus and Muffet.* “you had her soul in your hand? and you didn’t kill her??? why don’t you ever stand up for yourself papyrus?!” *Sans grabbed his own temple with his hands and dug his phalanges in the bone.* “why didn’t you fight back you idiot?! you could have killed her! stars... she could have killed you... i could have never seen you again... lost you forever.”  
*The thought of never seeing Papyrus again made Sans sick to his stomach. If Papyrus had died, then he would have really been alone. The realization that he could have lost the only thing he ever had made Sans want to get closer to him. The captain wrapped his arms around his precious pet and held him close enough to be clearly heard even as he whispered,* “i’m going to kill her papyrus. mark my words. she is going to die today. that’s a promise.” *Even as he said that the wheels in his head were turning, trying to figure out ways to kill her without getting caught. But in the midst of his pondering he noticed the concerned look on his brother’s face. The brother he just kissed, who he wanted to kiss again. He was still dust thirsty, but he had to change the subject.*  
“a-and what do you mean about my magic? you’ve never touched my soul. you have no idea what my magic is like... unless you're talking about the magic i use to punish you with... in which case, i must be beating you harder than i thought for you to describe your concussions as ‘sweet’... i’m not like you papyrus. i keep my soul well protected. and the only time i’ve ever touched a monster’s soul was when I killed them...” *He grinned as he thought about Muffet’s soul in his grasp. Would he do it quick or make her suffer? It all depended on how much time he had...* “but you put yourself in danger last night! what if i had killed you? don't ever present your soul like that again! do you understand?”

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** Again, it seemed Sans didn't fully understand what the situation had been. Then again, the older brother had a point. Papyrus hadn’t put up much of a fight against Muffet at the time, and by the time he’d figured out he didn’t want it, it had been too late. Papyrus’s mind swum with different ideas to how that situation could’ve been handled differently... But his train of thought was cut off by Sans’s voice. He was going to kill Muffet? Panic and worry immediately shot through his system. What if Sans got hurt? What if he died!? Sure, he had beaten Alphys in battle, but Muffet... Muffet wasn’t Alphys. Alphys was straightforward with her attacks, but Muffet was crafty. She didn’t play by the rules. Papyrus wouldn’t be able to live with himself if he died to her, especially after everything he’d gone through in the last timeline. It would be his fault. Just like every other timeline Sans had died. It was always his fault.  
“I UNDERSTAND, M’LORD... BUT I HAVE TOUCHED YOUR SOUL BEFORE...” Papyrus’s voice was a low whisper, like it was something secret. “IN THE LAST TIMELINE... THAT’S HOW I KNOW SO MUCH ABOUT YOU NOW. ALL OF YOUR SECRETS... I SAW YOUR MEMORIES WHEN I TOUCHED IT, WHEN YOU _LET_ ME TOUCH IT.” There had to be something he could say to prove it to Sans. There had to be. Papyrus racked his mind, trying to think of something, anything, that would help.  
Then he remembered... “LIKE THE DAY YOU KILLED THAT HUMAN FOR ALPHYS. BACK WHEN YOU WERE STILL A SENTRY. I SAW THE BLOOD ON YOUR HANDS. I COULD FEEL HOW SCARED YOU WERE, AND THEN ANGRY AT ALPHYS FOR MAKING YOU KILL A CHILD... ‘mercy and love are privileges of the dead.’ I HEARD YOU SAY THAT TO HER. SHE’D TAUGHT YOU THAT. BUT IT CAN’T BE TRUE! YOU’VE SHOWN ME MERCY MY WHOLE LIFE, AND I’M NOT DUST YET!” At least, not in this timeline. “AND WHAT ABOUT DOGAMY AND DOGARESSA? THEY LOVE EACH OTHER. THEY’RE NOT DEAD...”

 **SF! Sans:** *When Papyrus began describing the day he killed the child, Sans panicked. He wanted to forget that day more than anything in the world. He still had trouble sleeping at night because the haunting images of the way the little human died. Then coming home to Papyrus, who Sans always saw as a child. He remembered bathing for hours, never feeling like he was able to get the blood off his bones. He couldn't deny it anymore. Those visions weren't dreams. Papyrus had, in some other timeline, been intimate with Sans, and saw all all of his ugly secrets. What _didn't_ Papyrus know at this point? Everything that told him it was wrong to love his brother was running out of excuses. Even if incest was wrong. Even if Sans had loved him for too long. The lust and love he had for his brother was all he had now, otherwise he would have to think about Papyrus pleasuring another monster, about murdering a child. They were alone, hidden, on what Sans considered to be sacred ground. But he didn't care anymore. Sans just wanted to forget. He broke his embrace with his brother and sat up.*  
“dogamy and dogaressa are married out of duty, the fact that they are so close is just luck. besides… what this is… is just sick pleasure. what business do two brothers have doing things like this?” *Sans slid back and sat on Papyrus’s knees as he undid the buckle of the tall skeleton’s pants.* “this is what you want right? or are you only into soul play?” *The sound of Papyrus’s fly being unzipped permeated the air, breaking the white noise of running water. He pulled his younger brother’s pants down enough so the sensitive, butterfly shaped bone was exposed to the cool damp air.* “should i stop? because if we do this, it’s going to be so I forget.”

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** The taller skeleton's gaze followed his older brother, and when he realized what Sans was doing, he felt his soul skip a pulse. A light blush shone on his cheekbones once his pants were removed and his pelvis exposed. But Papyrus was a little scared. He could only scarcely recall times where he'd experimented with his magic there, mostly on a whim. He was much more in tune with his soul in that regard. Beyond that panic though, he could also feel a twinge of pain. Sans was in pain. Papyrus had drug up bad memories and he could tell the smaller skeleton wanted to forget them, if his brother telling him didn't affect it. The younger brother frowned, then slowly sat up. He couldn't help it when he let his hand cup the older's mandible. He loved Sans. He wanted to help.  
"M'LORD... IF YOU WANT TO FORGET, THEN MAYBE IT WOULD WORK BETTER IF I GAVE YOU SOMETHING ELSE TO THINK ABOUT." He gestured to his rib cage, where his now faintly glowing soul resided. "I COULD SHOW YOU THINGS FROM OTHER TIMELINES. MAYBE EVEN THE SURFACE. ...YOU LIKED IT WHEN I SHOWED YOU IN THE LAST TIMELINE." He paused. "AND IF YOU'RE NOT SATISFIED WITH THAT, THEN... WELL, I MIGHT NEED A LITTLE HELP WITH THAT," A nod to his pelvis. "BUT IF YOU WANT IT, M'LORD, I'LL GIVE IT TO YOU."

 **SF! Sans:** *In all honesty, Sans didn’t even know what he was going to do down there. He was so focused on combat and his reputation, that he knew very little about sex. He just knew his soul constantly ached for attention, but his pelvis was quite sensitive as well. He assumed the same was true for Papyrus. And he was terrified of letting anyone touch his soul and seeing who he really was. He looked into his brother’s sockets as he was promised sweet memories. Maybe even the surface... Sans glanced at the gemstones that he would pretend we're stars. Real stars…*  
“i am not the sans from the last timeline.” *Sans spoke coldly as he ran a thumb along the curve of Papyrus’s ilium, down the ischial spine, finally resting on his brother’s pubis, gently stroking where Sans knew the bone was most sensitive.* “and i told you, i want to forget. i don't want to think about anything.” *Papyrus’s soul tempted him. In all honesty, he had no idea one could use magic on the pelvis. He just was terrified of getting himself cut on shards of broken memories.*

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** Of course this wasn't the Sans from the last timeline. That Sans had this air about him... something hard to describe that sent shivers down Papyrus's spine and made his soul flutter. That Sans had moved with love and yearning when he'd explored Papyrus's body. Even during that time in the bathroom, forceful or not, he'd had Papyrus's pleasure as well as his own in mind. It had been a mutual acceptance and understanding, and the intimacy had been intoxicating addicting. This Sans, however, was still holding back. Even as he caressed one of Papyrus's weakest spots, the younger brother could tell the difference. His touch wasn't out of love, it was out of despair. He was hurting, and it showed. And because of that hurt, because Papyrus wanted to take the pain away, instead of letting himself fall backwards with his pleasured sigh and allowing Sans to have his way, Papyrus took hold of the front of the smaller brother's battle body and pulled him close so that their teeth met. It was only for a moment, and his sockets were dim when he withdrew from the kiss.  
"I'M SORRY, M'LORD." It was spoken in a low murmur, though the apology was only half there. Papyrus moved quickly, leaving a trail of kisses from Sans's frontal to his temple, and then to where his ear would have been. "PLEASE, M'LORD... I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOU IN PAIN ANYMORE. LET ME HELP YOU FORGET." If there was one thing he wanted more than anything, it was to see Sans happy.

 **SF! Sans:** *His eyes snapped open as he was pulled away from his brother’s pelvis. Sans wanted to return the kiss, but found himself irritatingly disappointed when it ended before he even got the chance. His imagination ran wild as Papyrus’s kisses migrated away from his lonesome mouth. He remembered the vision of himself being ravished on his own bed. The blissful way he looked at Papyrus... He couldn't see his brother’s face in the vision, but he could only imagine it wasn't the way he had seen his brother look at him now. Such a mournful expression, longing for a him that wasn't him. Anyone who didn't know better would see the expression as pity. Sans couldn't believe it, but he was jealous of himself. This, other self, who was so willing to rip open his ribcage and throw his soul at his brother, or rather, have the soul taken from him ‘against his will’. And then there was Muffet. Did he kiss her too? Did he look at her with the same longing disguised as pity? The envious rage just kept growing, each ugly green thought feeding its flames*  
“why bother? you’re so deluded. you don't want me, you want the monster you gave your soul to. well guess what? he’s dead! and now you’re trying to settle for second best. whenever you look at me, you are always just remembering someone else. admit it! how do you plan on making me forget when all you want to do is remember?!”

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** Papyrus wasn't entirely sure, but he could have sworn he heard jealousy in Sans's voice. But that didn't make much sense. Sans didn't need to be jealous of himself. He could easily become "himself" again. But either way, the jealousy just added to the pile of things that made Papyrus want to help his brother. He shook his head softly, then gave the small skeleton a few more kisses before answering, as if kisses alone could somehow take away the other's pain.  
"THAT'S NOT IT, M'LORD. WHEN I LOOK AT YOU, I DON'T SEE HIM. I SEE MY BROTHER. AND I LOOK AT HIM, AND I SEE THAT HE'S HURTING. I SEE THAT HE WANTS TO LET HIMSELF GIVE IN AND LOVE THE BROTHER HE'S BEEN PINING OVER FOR 15 YEARS, BUT HE'S SCARED. AND IT'S HURTING HIM, AND I DON'T LIKE SEEING HIM HURT. SO, I WANT TO HELP HIM, M'LORD. I WANT TO TAKE AWAY THE PAIN AND SHOW HIM HOW TO BE HAPPY. BECAUSE I'VE SEEN WHAT HE LOOKS LIKE WHEN HE'S TRULY HAPPY, M'LORD, AND IT'S THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING IN THE UNDERGROUND."

 **SF! Sans:** *Him. Him, him, him. That's all Sans heard. He was so consumed with rage and the excuses he made up in his own mind. Every time Papyrus said “him” instead of “you” it drove him closer over the edge. And finally he snapped. He shoved Papyrus away and stood up.* “ENOUGH!!!!!! HE IS DEAD, PAPYRUS.”  
*it was a good thing the two were such a remote area so early in the morning. But even then there was a chance they were heard. But Sans didn’t care. He couldn’t recall the last time he was so infuriated. Couldn’t Papyrus see how hard this was for him already? Him and Papyrus had already done such beautiful things, things he could only dream of, and now Papyrus just rubbed it in his face, telling him he could be second best to a version of him and get sloppy seconds. Thirds?*  
“clearly, i am not up to par with the last ‘timeline’. perhaps it's best we stick to our original plan. stay away from me until you find a better version of whatever it is you’re looking for.” *Sans then turned and stormed off*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can I just say how much I loved writing that nightmare? There's a lot of symbolism in it, too! If anyone wants to take a guess and see what means what, be my guest!


	17. Leaving

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two new characters this chapter! I played Muffet, and Fifi played Undyne! Please enjoy!

**Swapfell!Papyrus:** His brother was leaving him. His brother was leaving him, and it was his fault. He'd said something wrong, and he'd driven away the only one he could ever love. "M'LORD, PLEASE! I--" But he was already gone. Papyrus's cries were met with silence. The only sounds that reached him was the rushing of water and the subtle clicking of Sans's boots, growing fainter with each step taken. Papyrus desperately wanted to run after him, but with his foot the way it was, he wouldn't stand a chance against his brother's pace. Besides that, monsters would start waking up soon. Papyrus wouldn't last long in a fight in his condition. A small part of him was grateful to Sans for leaving him in such an isolated place, but the rest of him ached with loss. Loss for his lover, loss for his brother... It hurt so much. He just wanted to take that little red and orange gem in his chest and silence its mournful cries. Why did it have to reset. Why did that human have to walk the path of death last timeline? Why did he have to be cursed with these memories? What good were they if all they did was hurt? He didn't want to cause his brother any more pain. He didn't want to be in pain anymore. If only he could forget...  
Forget... If he could get rid of these stupid memories, maybe things could be better. Maybe his brother would let him come home. Maybe... Papyrus had to try. He knew one person who might be able to help him, and at this point, even if she used his willingness against him, he didn't care. He just wanted to make the pain stop. The skeleton focused his magic, imagining the place he wanted to go, then, in an instant, he found himself faced with the Hotland Lab door. The broken skeleton took an uneasy, weary breath, then knocked.

 **SF! Undyne:** -She blew a loose red hair that fell over her glasses and onto her sweaty face. The sounds of screaming, moaning in agony, begging for death could be heard clearly over the grotesque “Human History” film playing on a dusty large screen. But Undyne wasn’t watching it at the moment. She was focused on her surveillance camera, which alerted her whenever anyone was in close proximity of her lab. She watched the tall lanky skeleton from several different angles as he popped into view and limped toward the lab.-  
“*He isn’t....”  
-There was a knock on the door that she both heard and saw.-  
“*Oh my God!!! He is!!!!!”  
-Her braided hair bounced along with her as she gracelessly scrambled towards the automated sliding doors and hit the open button. Undyne gavr the guest a nervous, overly excited smile and fidgeted, a bad habit around unfamiliar guinea pigs.- “*Why, if it isn’t the new Captain's baby brother! What brings you here... Alone? Come in! Come in!!!”

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** He was broken, physically and emotionally, and it was taking its toll on the tall skeleton. Not to mention all the crying he’d been doing recently. He probably looked as drained as he felt. Honestly, he was just running on fumes at this point, the pain driving him forward and deeper into a dark corner. “DR. UNDYNE... THANK YOU.” Papyrus limped inside upon being invited, the leash he hadn’t bothered to remove hanging from the collar he didn’t want to take off. Despite the ache in his soul that seemed to dull everything, the sound of the door closing behind him sent a chill down his spine. It gave him a sort of jolt, a spark, that seemed to bring him back to reality and remind him of the sheer gravity of what he was about to ask, and from who. And then the spark faded, and the pain overtook him once more. Any apprehension he’d had vanished, replaced with a dull ache that he wanted to be removed by whatever means necessary.  
“I’M HERE FOR A... VERY COMPLICATED REASON.” He turned to face the fish monster. There weren’t a lot of monsters taller than Papyrus, but Undyne was a rare exception. If they both stood up straight, she’d probably stand at least two inches taller. “BUT, THE SHORT VERSION IS THAT I DID SOMETHING AND NOW I WANT TO FORGET IT.”

 **SF! Undyne:** -It took a minute, but Undyne noticed the collar and leash. She decided that she was going to have to take that for her own personal purposes once Papyrus was fully incapacitated.-  
“A c--complicated reason huh? N-not to worry! Not to worry! I won’t p-pry! I--I’m not personal like that… Let’s focus more on the p-problem at hand, shall we?” -She wrapped a dusty gloved arm around the collared skeleton and lead him to her desk. In front of it was a small, menacing looking metal chair bolted to the floor.- “H-have a seat. W-we need to discuss our options here. I know I said I don’t w-w-ant to be personal.” -She walked over to her extremely dusty desk and took a seat.- “But just for c--c-c-curiosity and sc---iiiences sake, what are you looking to forget? Something?” -She glanced up at him with a disturbingly all-knowing glare as she opened a desk drawer and fished around in it.- “or… s-someone… Or d’ya just wanna forget… everything?”

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** Papyrus took a seat in the chair provided. He was far too used to Sans’s punishments to be phased by the look alone. It wasn’t the most comfy of chairs, but at least he could get the weight off of his injured foot. He fumbled with his thumb phalanges, trying to keep busy so he could distract himself from the pain in his soul and the mildly disturbing levels of dust about the place. He kept his gaze off of Undyne. “IF IT’S POSSIBLE... I’D LIKE TO FORGET EVERYTHING FROM THE PAST TWO YEARS.” If he didn’t remember his love for Sans, then maybe he wouldn’t hurt anymore. Maybe Sans could live without the guilt of being something he couldn’t be. Then maybe in the next reset, they could go back to like it was before. Sans would have his obedient little brother and not have to worry about being assaulted by that brother. “AND AS PAYMENT FOR YOUR TROUBLE...” Papyrus took a breath, steeling himself for what he was about to say. “I’LL LET YOU... EXPERIMENT ON ME AS MUCH AS YOU WANT BEFOREHAND.” 

**SF! Undyne:** “Deal!!, I mean, G-gosh! What’s the catch??” -She almost didn’t feel the need to use the remote control. But she had to play it safe. She pressed the button, activating the arm restraints on the chair, then before Papyrus could respond, she lept over her desk and pierced a gap in his joints with a heavy duty tranquilizer. Undyne stroked the panicked skeleton softly as he succumbed to the drug. She whispered in his ear as he faded out of consciousness- “Don’t worry Papy… You’re gonna forget much… MUCH more than 2 years.”

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** With no time to react, he didn't even struggle when the drug was administered. He felt a sharp pain, and then cold. He felt himself shiver a bit while the cold spread through his body, but the only thing he could really do was look up at Undyne with panicked worry. His vision started to blur, and he felt his sockets close and a hand trail along his bones. For a moment, he could almost imagine the Sans from the last timeline, smiling at him in the golden hallway. He only caught the "Don't worry," before he went under. 

**SF! Sans:** *Sans began regretting his decision to walk away almost immediately. But he felt confident that Papyrus would show up by the time he got home from his first day as captain. He was sure of it! The lazybones was probably asleep at the front step, or maybe even at his sentry at that very moment. Sans kept reassuring himself the whole day. It made his first day run relatively smoothly. He even had time to think about how he was going to murder that spider bitch that night. He knew she was crafty. And he couldn’t go after her during the day. She had impossible to see spider spies planted everywhere in the entire underground. Especially by her cafe in Snowdin. But at night when the temperatures dropped the spies tended to be slower, less suspicious. Not to mention the cafe should be relatively empty. He would go in just before she locked the door. An unsuspecting last minute customer. He knew her defense was low. One well aimed bone attack would be enough to make her crumble. But first, he would make sure Papyrus was ok. Maybe do a bit more than that. After the little episode in the ruins of the shack, Sans decided it was time to be dominant. He wanted that soul. He had wanted it for so long, and he was done denying himself of it. His plan was to find Papyrus, weeping and begging for mercy, no doubt. And he would give it to him, and then some. Sans smiled to himself. One of his guardsmen noticed the unusual behavior and asked why.* “... i just remembered something funny, that’s all. now back to work! you have your orders soldier!”

 **SF! Undyne:** -She had been long prepared for Papyrus by the time he woke up. They were in a cold, dark room, the main light source was a single flickering overhead florescent light that only added to the menacing atmosphere. Papyrus’s wrists, ankles and neck were strapped to an operating table, and all around him were surgical implements that seemed to resemble torture devices more than anything used for medical purposes. There were also beakers and vials. Some filled with an assortment of unknown liquids. It appeared than Undyne had been waiting in the room for who knows how long, and stood up as soon as she saw his sockets open.-  
“*Heh. Gosh, you really are a lazy bones. You slept way longer than I thought... Though I guess I did give you a pretty strong tranquilizer. I got some good news and bad news for you Papy...” -Undyne held two vials in the skeleton’s face one smoking and shouldering, the other filled with hundreds of thousands of small white threads.-  
“*See these? The smoking solution only JUST started to smoulder. You’ve been out for hours... Usually magic samples will combust immediately upon contact with liquid determination. And this,” -She held up the other vial,- “*is a bone fragment I err, collected.” -She pokes at a deep 1 inch scar on Papyrus’s humerus- “*You heal faster than any monster I have ever seen... It’s incredible. It’s like you were made for my lab. That's the good news.” -Undyne grabbed a decent sized syringe from a nearby tray and walked to Papyrus’s side.- “The bad news is...” -She shoved the needle into a gap in Papyrus’s vertebrae. The feeling could be comparable to injecting bleach combined with snake venom into your bloodstream.- “*It---it’s gonna be a while before you forget.”

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** A groan came from the tall skeleton as he roused from his drug-induced sleep. The first thing he saw was the flickering light. It wasn't exactly blinding, but it was very bright at times. He looked over to Undyne when he heard her voice, but when he moved to sit up, he found himself pinned to the... whatever it was he was laying on. It was cold and hard, so it was probably a surgical table of some sort. Papyrus's gaze fell to the vials, and he listened as Undyne explained them, hissing mildly when she poked the new injury and trying to swallow the moan that wanted to come out. It had been years since Papyrus had worked with anything remotely science related, but even then, his field was quantum physics, not so much chemistry or anything in the medical field.  
And then, his train of thought was broken by fire. Papyrus screamed and writhed against his bonds, trying to get away from whatever was being injected into him. But the bonds would not allow it. They were too tight and provided little wiggle room for the patient. When the syringe was pulled away and the fire started to spread through him, he calmed down to subtle whimpers and suppressed moans. He looked to Undyne again. "D-DO WHAT Y-YOU WANT... I'LL BE G-GOOD." At least the added pain would serve as a good distraction from the ache in his soul. And who knows, maybe Undyne would find something from these experiments to help her with her research. She had said he was a good lab rat. 

**SF! Undyne:** -With the first dose of diluted determination coursing through his marrow, Undyne had a second to run some tests and... get to know the subject while his magic adjusted to the poison. Though there was already so much the mad scientist already knew. She had cameras planted all over the underground. She had dirt on literally every single monster, and this masochistic freak was no different.-  
“*Now... Let’s have a look-see at that s-soul of yours, shall we?” -She opened up his hoodie and grabbed a scalpel, then cut his shirt open with a steady hand and surgical precision. The determination did it’s job. His soul was already summoned and shining at full force. The light of it’s glow reflected off Undyne’s thick glasses. She looked at it with pleasured awe.-  
“*W--Wh---WOAH!!! I’ve never seen anything like this before...” -She got close to Papyrus, so her head was the only thing in his line of sight.- “Since when did you have THREE different colors to your soul?? I always saw you with just red and orange. But BLUE?! Hahaha, your BROTHER’S color? What---What is this?! Hahaha!!! Wow!! I knew you were obsessed with him, but I always thought this kind of stuff only happened with soul-bonding... I don’t remember ever seeing you two...” -Undyne blushed. Even though Papyrus was trapped, the determination would keep him from jumping or using any magic, but she just didn’t want to give away just how much she knew... How much danger she was putting the one he was trying to ‘forget’ in. She’d tell him... but not yet.- “*Papy... Why is it blue?”

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** It didn't matter to the tall skeleton whether or not he could use his magic. He didn't plan on running from this. He'd asked for this. This was the price he'd pay to forget. He was glad Undyne hadn't cut his jacket. He could mend the shirt without a second thought, but the jacket was special. He didn't know what he'd do if it tore during this.  
He couldn't see his chest, but he could feel his soul burning in his rib cage. It felt so hot, just like the last timeline in the back room. Papyrus panted despite not needing air, trying to cool himself down with little effect. Wait, his soul had three colors? That couldn't be right. The timeline had reset. Was he not affected by it at all? ...That made sense, actually. That would be his luck. His pained, pleading gaze fell to Undyne. He was so distracted by the fire in him that he couldn't register the subtle implications of her words.  
"TIME-LINE... RES-SET... S-SA-NS... I... WE DID F-FUSE... LOVED... BUT... H-HE'S DEAD NOW... M'LORD... PAIN... WANNA S-STOP... H-HURTING HIM..."

 **SF! Undyne:** “*PHHHH!!! OHMYGAWD!” -Undyne was nearly doubled over with laughter. She loved physical pain, but emotional pain was the best. And her tri-colored subject was giving her a feast of it. And it was only going to get better...- “*Poor P-Papy... You think your brother’s dead? I saw him on camera like… I dunno, 2 seconds ago. He’s doing just fine... see?” -She pulled a cell phone out of her lab coat and fumbled with it for a moment, then turned the screen towards Papyrus and showed him live surveillance footage of Sans, hard at work training soldiers as the new captain.- “*Looks alive and happy to me.” -Before Papyrus could protest she sat on the operation table next to him. She pressed a button and a large metallic hand came down from the ceiling and held the cell phone in front of Papyrus’s face for him. She then grabbed another syringe of determination and prepared it, carefully pushing out excess air and flicking the needle to get out any bubbles that might still be trapped inside.-  
“*So… you did dirty things with your own brother in another timeline and now you wanna forget about it, huh? Gotta admit, that's kind of gross. But hey...” -She gave him a twisted grin,- “who am I to judge? So before I test how your soul responds to determination, I gotta ask. Were uhm… you guys ‘doing it’ when the timeline reset? Because uh… I gotta tell you. Your soul is still bonded with his. That’s right. The same Sans you see on the screen. You guys are still sharing so much. Pretty kinky huh? Like… Watch this.” -She took the needle and pushed it into his soul. The pain was similar to how it was when it was in his vertebrae, but much, much worse. And on the camera, Sans collapsed. Undyne laughed maniacally.-  
“*Whooops! If you wanted to stop hurting him, maybe you should have done your homework, stupid! But don’t worry! You can rest easy knowing that you two died to free the entire underground when I am able to replicate a human soul from you!”

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** He wanted to protest, wanted to clarify that the brother he'd left behind in the other timeline was the one who was dead, not the one here. Of course his lord was alive. He was one of the strongest monsters in the Underground, and the captain of the Royal Guard. Sans couldn't be felled that easily, Papyrus knew. And sure enough, there Sans was, training his troops and being the cool older brother that he was. What Papyrus didn't know was how the reset had affected his soul. Heck, Undyne had to spell it out for him. He gave the fish a look between guilt, confusion, and worry around the phone, but then all of it morphed into agony when the second dosage of determination was injected straight into his soul. He felt like he could burst into flames at any moment! Like he'd taken a swim in Hotland's lava. It hurt! It burned so much! The tall skeleton screamed in his torment, and it wasn't until he saw his brother collapse that he felt tears start to form in his eye sockets. He was still hurting Sans, even though they were on opposite sides of the Underground. This wasn't what he wanted! He never wanted to hurt Sans! That was the reason he'd come here in the first place. To _stop_ hurting Sans. And now he was being told that not only was he going to die, but because of him, Sans was going to die to, it was all he could do to keep from completely breaking down. Even so, he looked to the screen with tears in his sockets. His brother was starting to rise from the snow. If Papyrus could move, he'd try to cradle that screen, as if it would somehow protect his brother from this fate. "I'M S-SORRY... I'M SO S-SO SORRY..." If only his brother could hear him through the phone...

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

 **SF! Sans:** *Sans was in the middle of his perfect day when something went wrong. _Really_ wrong. He felt a horrible shot of pain in his soul, like it was being stabbed or sliced open. It was enough pain to have him drop to the floor and writhe in agony. Everyone asked what was wrong while Sans asked himself the same question. But the only answer he could come to in his head was Papyrus. It didn’t make sense to his conscious thought, but his soul was screaming at him to leave and find him. Suddenly nothing was more important to him than finding his brother. He had left him injured after all. Sans told the troops he’d be right back and ran off to Papyrus’s sentry station. He wasn’t there. No surprise though... He was probably at home... Not there either. Sans was exhausted at this point, but the pain kept lingering. What the hell kind of trouble had Papyrus gotten into... MUFFET! That _had_ to be it! She was behind this! Sans threw his original plan in the trash. He needed answers and he needed them now. He sprinted the short distance to the cafe and kicked open the doors.* “where is he?!?”

 **Swapfell!Muffet:** All eyes drew to Sans as he stormed into the Cafe. Muffet watched him with curious eyes from behind the counter. One set of hands was cleaning a dish, one scrubbing the countertop, and the last folded idly in front of her. She had a slight smile on her features. "He? Ahuhuhu~ Why, Sans, I know many "he"s. You'll have to be a little more specific, dear captain." She could only grin. She knew which “he” Sans was looking for. There was and only ever would be one “he” Sans would come here to search for. And based on the telegram she’d received a few hours ago, he had every reason to be worried about Papyrus.

 **SF! Sans:** *Even in his determined ire, he felt very exposed and vulnerable with all the eyes watching the scene unfold. He stormed towards Muffet, he could feel and hear the sounds of her spider minions assembling behind him, and her pet shuffling in the shadows, ready for the command to attack, but Sans walked past her and he could feel the curiosity in the air. Sans stopped at the back door and gestured toward it aggressively.* “i need to speak to you in private… immediately.”  
*When the pair were ‘alone’ Sans wasted no time.* “i never liked you muffet. but after hearing what you did to my brother… i’m glad i did what i did. now… you will tell me where papyrus is, and i won’t kill you. and don't even think of trying anything funny. my body is rigged to explode and destroy you and your stupid establishment if you so much as touch me. where is he?! i know you have spies everywhere!! he couldn’t have just left the underground!!” *Sans wanted to grab her and shake her, but he thought better of it.* “i want answers and i want them _now_!!!!!!

 **Swapfell!Muffet:** Muffet's gaze followed the small captain as he moved towards the back room door, her curiosity peaking at his request. She had to wonder what trick Sans had up his sleeve. She stood there for a moment, then waved a hand, signaling her spiders to relax. "It certainly must be important if the new captain wants an audience with a spider. Ahuhuhu, who am I to deny such an... honor?" The word had a strange tone to it, but she acted like nothing was wrong when she let Sans into the kitchen.  
Once they were alone, and Sans spoke of his demands, however, all she could do was chuckle. Did he really think she was scared of him? Just because he defeated Alphys? Laughable. And that was what she was doing. Laughing. "Oh, did Papyrus finally tell you? I'm surprised it took him this long." She grinned, her tone somewhere in between proud and mock sympathy. "The poor dear was so confused. He was in love, but he didn't know what to do about it. So, the kind-hearted soul that I am decided to give him a little... demonstration." Her grin only widened, five eyes locked on Sans. She didn't bother with the question at hand.

 **SF! Sans:** *Sans wasn’t surprised at how cocky she was. If she really knew everything, then she knew Sans was bluffing. She could kill him and keep herself and her establishment intact. But just in case, Sans continued acting like he was a ticking time bomb. As she spoke in detail about what she did to his brother, his socket flared up brightly, as if someone poured gasoline on it. He didn’t care if it was going to kill him, he needed to get that one good strike... But before he could do anything, he felt another sharp pain, worse than the last one, driving him to the floor of Muffet’s kitchen. He looked up to see Muffet watching him with a pleased… confusion? She wasn’t behind the soul spasms? Through his agony, he spoke* “he---nnngh! he’s missing! where is he! aaagh! where is my brother?!”

 **Swapfell!Muffet:** Muffet saw the smaller skeleton's stance shift. It was subtle, but she knew what he was planning, and was already reaching for her magic to trap the new captain. But before she could get the chance, he... was on the floor? The spider monster, confused as she was, found a sort of sick pleasure in watching a potential aggressor squirm on the floor, grasping at his chest, all in pure agony. "Oh, you poor thing. Your soul seems to care more about your brother than you do." She crouched down, eyeing the pained skeleton with sadistic glee. "I received a report about your brother disappearing from Waterfall in the blink of an eye. I could tell you where he reappeared, but... Hmm, my memory seems to be a little fuzzy..."

 **SF! Sans:** *Shit. This was not how things were supposed to go at ALL. He kept trying to fight the pain with all his might. It wasn’t easy, but Sans eventually found the strength to stand up. His soul was throbbing in horrible agony. He felt like he was dying. Every time it pumped magic into his marrow, it felt like his bones were melting from the inside. But Sans just had to find his brother, no matter what it took. He had to find him.* “i-don... have time for---for games! auugh!!! n-name your price, bitch!”

 **Swapfell!Muffet:** Muffet clasped two sets of hands together, and set her remaining right hand to her chin, pretending to muse. Really, she was just prolonging Sans's stay at this point. The spider liked to watch prey squirm beneath her, and having someone as high-ranking as Sans completely at her mercy was thrilling. "Hmm... How... about..." Stalling... Stalling... "Ahuhuhu~ I believe your brother's tab would help jog my memory. He's built it up to 10,000 G this month."

 **SF! Sans:** “ten thous--- HRRRK” *Sans was willing to agree with anything at this point, he needed to stop the pain so bad. Red and blue magic spilled out of his mouth, his eye sockets, his nostrils, even the joints in his bones were leaking. The sight was macabe to say the least. But the pain was hell. It was enough for him to forget any revenge, his eyesight was growing hazy. He wondered if he was ever going to see his brother ever again. If there were tears, they were indistinguishable from everything else. Suddenly his mind went wild. He kept seeing things… Hearing things.*  
_“thank you, master, i love you.”_  
_"more... more papy... hurt me more"_  
_"please... make me hurt good, master"_  
_"BREAK ME DAMMIT!"_  
*There was enough of a lull in the agony for Sans to wipe his mouth and speak. Exhausted, but clearly.* “You have a deal… Now p...please… you wouldn’t want the queen to find my corpse here.”

 **Swapfell!Muffet:** Muffet's expression started to take a turn towards disturbed, the spider beginning to realize the severity of the situation. "According to my sources, your brother went to Hotland in search of Dr. Undyne." She paused, then moved to stand between the skeleton and the door to the main room. She shook her head and gestured to another door that lead to the alley behind the cafe. "Undyne has cameras all over the place. If you want to leave undetected for a few minutes, you'll want that door. Now..." She offered a hand to the captain in a surprisingly kind manner. "Come on, now. You're in no condition to make it to Hotland alone, let alone to the Lab. You'll need an escort, dearie. Ahuhuhu~ And don't worry about the payment. This can be a… free trial." Honestly, she just didn't want him to dust near her cafe. A spider had to keep up appearances, after all.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

 **SF! Undyne:** -Undyne slurped on some noodles as she sat next to Papyrus, watching the screen like it was a movie- “*Woah!!! Check it out! He’s looking for you! He left his troops and everything! You got a pretty smart brother there! Or his soul is just screaming for yours… isn’t that romantic? I wonder if he’ll be able to live by the time he figures out you’re in the lab. Man! Check out this guy run! How come he’s going to Muffet’s?” -She then turned and nudged Papyrus- “Oh yeah!!! That’s cuz you told him about all the stuff you did with her two months ago! Not that I blame you. Muffet IS k-kinda cute once you get past the eyes.” -There weren’t nearly as many cameras in the cafe as other places. And there was no sound. And when the pair walked into the kitchen, the surveillance cut off completely. Then an alarm went off, Undyne put the noodles down and filled up another syringe with an even stronger concentration of determination.-  
“*Aww crud… I was hoping to see how the second subject would react. Hopefully this isn’t the last time you see your beloved brother, hhmmmm? Not that you care.” -She then filled his soul with even more determination.-

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** He couldn't stop apologizing to the screen, even though he knew his brother couldn't hear him. Through all the pain he was enduring, Papyrus knew his brother was feeling it, too. And that was what hurt the most. Not the fire in his bones, not the lava in his soul, but the knowledge that his brother was burning with him. Orange and red magic sparked along his bones like a current, the most violent of the flares being the places where the bonds rubbed against his bones. Everything was just fiery pain, to the point where he couldn't think straight enough to comprehend what Undyne was saying. There were alarms sounding from somewhere, but the tall skeleton could only focus on the pain, existing and new, and apologizing for it. Somehow, through the fire, he was mildly conscious that Undyne had left the room. He was alone, bound to a metal table, and burning from the inside out.  
And then, there was a different kind of pain. The pain of bones breaking on their own, only to realign somewhere else. Bones growing and expanding. Teeth and phalanges sharpening themselves, elongating... What was happening? Papyrus screamed, but the sound came out more like a roar. The tight bonds that held him in place seemed to get tighter and tighter, until all of them snapped. Papyrus was free, but the transformation had already started. He rolled himself off the metal table, equipment crashing against his twice-as-large body. He moved to stand up, but found it impossible to walk on just two legs. His vision was blurry, but he could just make out a muzzle. Tears streamed from his sockets, and before he knew what he was doing, Papyrus charged up an attack, and blasted the doorway, now far too small for him to fit through.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~


	18. Couldn't do it alone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a reminder that its not dead, just on hiatus due to mutual writer's block.

**SF! Sans:** *He definitely couldn't do it alone. He was falling in and out of consciousness as he sat on the riverboat, accompanied by, of all monsters, Muffet, and her terrifying pet. He really didn't know if he was going to make it. If he was going to find Papyrus. If he was going to die right then and there on the riverboat. He closed his eyes.*  
 _*He never dreamed. So whatever this was had to be something else. He was standing in the judgement hall, face to face with a mirror. Only it wasn’t a mirror, it moved completely independently from himself. It glided towards him like a ghost, and made a motion to touch his soul.  
“d---don’t touch me!” *Sans recoiled away from the phantom. But it smiled at him, as if trying to coax him into just... giving in. But not giving in like dying. More like... Accepting the past. Accepting the future. Accepting whatever life had in store for him. Sans was too tired to fight it anymore. When he was approached a second time, he let the hand phase through his ribcage and touch his soul. Suddenly, memories came flooding back! Memories of making love in the bedroom, the bathroom, breaking and fixing one another, sharing secrets, comforting one another…  
And a memory of the surface._  
And Sans woke up, feeling almost as if he was reborn. And just in time for the boat to arrive at Hotland.*

 **SF! Undyne:** -She was slowly spinning in her rolling chair, studying and taking notes on her subject, humming joyfully to the music of Papyrus’s agony occasionally glancing at the cell phone to make sure Sans hadn’t left yet. He sure had been in there for a while now.-  
“*Bad news Papy…”-She shouted over his screams, “*Things aren't looking good for your Lord, huh. But that's ok, you can call me L---” -And then the alarms went off. Someone was in close proximity of the lab. She had been too focused on Sans. She grabbed the cell phone and flipped through the countless different cameras- ”*Dammit, if it's Jerry again... OH-HO! Good news! Your bro-friend survived! And he’s coming for you! And he's with your girlfriend too! C-cool! I’ll let you all share a cage together!” -Undyne dashed out of the lab and prepared her strongest, most loyal amalgamates... just in case.-

 **Swapfell!Muffet:** "Oh good, you're awake." Muffet snickered, stepping off the boat and onto Hotland's ground. Honestly, she liked the heat much more than the chill of Snowdin, but the monsters here had a reputation for being exceptionally fierce. She preferred the almost calm tranquility Snowdin had by comparison. "Ahuhuhu~ For a moment, I thought you fell down. And what a shame that would have been. So close to saving your brother..." Muffet's pet, she'd been calling it Missy, nudged Sans with one of its legs, encouraging the skeleton forward. The Lab was only a few minutes from the dock, anyway.   
"Come along now. I've no doubt Undyne already knows we're here. She won't take kindly to someone trying to take back someone she's captured." Her five eyes narrowed. "Be prepared for a fight."

 **SF! Undyne:** -What a day! First a tri colored soul who responded to determination like a dream, Now more guests! The captain of the royal guard… He didn't look like he would be much of a problem. But Muffet AND her pet, along with whatever spider minions she had in the area… That was going to be a problem. And to make matters worse, only one amalgamate was being cooperative today! Fortunately it was her biggest, strongest, most loyal one, Mewwy. She had a good 20 monsters in her. So Undyne wasn't too worried. Even so, her soul skipped a beat when she heard a knock on her door AND her emergency alarm went off at the same time.

 **SF! Sans:** *Even though he felt better, he still vomited as soon as he got off the boat. The bile smouldered against the ground, he wasn't sure if it was because of the acidity or the heat from the obsidian floor. All he could think of was Papyrus. The fool, why would he be in Undyne’s lab? Did she kidnap him? Or did he actually go to her on his own free will? Why would he go to the doctor knowing her reputation? Sans was able to keep up a decent pace and finally made it to the menacing, horrible laboratory that dominated the cavernous walls of Hotland. When they knocked on the door, the monsters were surprised to meet a very frightened looking Undyne, and the sounds of a horrible beast howling and an alarm blaring.*

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** It was funny what a few doses of determination could do to a monster. To most, it would make them lose their physical forms and become sticky blobs of what they once were. Those monsters very often had the tendency to mesh together with other determined monsters, creating horrible amalgamations. But the dragon-like skeleton beast, with shredded clothes by its pelvis and rib cage that resembled a sweater, jacket, and pants, that was thrashing about in the depths of the lab was something special altogether. It walked clumsily, as if it was half-blind, and every now and then, with no warning, it reared its colossal skull and fired a blast of pure, concentrated magic. It had already scared away several amalgamations that had crossed its path, and as it stumbled through the corridors, tears fell from its large sockets. It only had one thing on its mind. One goal to fulfill. _E S C A P E._  
And finally, it found its way. Somewhere, in the recesses of the beast's subconsciousness, it knew that the door it was faced with would lead it to freedom. And so, it charged up a blast, and fired at the door. Once that had been done, it whipped around, lashing the doorway with a long tail to further displace debris and allow the large skeletal dragon room to step through. Though it could not see well, it could distinctly make out two shapes, one blue and white, another amorphous. The beast roared, then charged another blast and fired. While its target had been the blue-and-white thing, its depth perception was horribly off, and it ended up hitting the amorphous creature instead. It hadn't stood a chance.

 **Swapfell!Muffet:** Muffet was, honestly, impressed. For someone who seemed to be on the verge of death, Sans was actually having little trouble keeping up. Then again, she expected nothing less from someone who could take out Alphys in hand-to-hand combat.   
When they knocked on the door, it opened automatically. What awaited them on the other side was something not even Muffet had expected. Undyne seemed to have her back to them, her focus on the dragon-like skeleton that seemed to have literally broken into the main room from the Angel knows where that hole in the wall went. With the exception of a few shreds of fabric, the bone beast was completely bare, a soul of red, orange, and blue glowing brightly within its rib cage. A black ichor spilled from the creature's maw, and red-orange tears fell from its sockets. They were void of any lights. Missy seemed to cower behind her master, and Muffet patted the spider cupcake reassuringly. For once, Muffet didn't have any words.

 **SF! Undyne:** -Undyne wasn’t sure what to do at first. But panic caused by the shock of her lab walls suddenly bursting open caused her to slam her fist against the ‘door open’ button in order to support herself from falling. What she saw was incredible. She would have been in awe, if she wasn’t scared for her life. The boney dragon that emerged from the other side faced her. She had never seen anything like it... But she knew, from the glow in his eye and ribcage that it was her test subject. Something had gone horribly wrong! But... She could have sworn she tested the purity of the Determination! What was going on? Then she grabbed a whistle around her neck and blew hard, summoning Mewwy. The pained amorphous creature oozed to her side as the boney dragon prepared an incredible magic attack. Undyne braced for the impact, but it never hit her. Mewwy had jumped in the line of fire. Undyne knew her beloved pet wanted to die, but it still broke the mad scientist's heart to lose something so near and dear to her. But still, her life was a top priority. She ran toward and cowered behind the new visitors.- “*D-D-DON’T JUST S-S-S-STAND THERE!!! D-D-DO SOMETHING!!!!”

 **SF! Sans:** “what the hell did you do to him!?” Sans turned around and shook the doctor violently, but before he could get an answer he heard another loud crash and a roar of agony. He didn’t have time for this! His brother was hurt. He could feel his pain deep down in his soul, their soul. He ran into the chaos, not caring if he was putting his life in danger. Papyrus had to recognize him! He had to! But it didn’t look good. The dragon immediately took to the potential new threat approaching him. His bony mandibles opened wide and magic began quickly forming in the center of his jaw.*  
“papyrus! i know it’s you! look at me papy!” Sans got closer, then stopped just a few feet away. He was surprised that the beast had slowed his charge, perhaps he was beginning to grow more curious than threatened. Maybe he recognized him. Sans had no idea. He had to get through to his brother, or die trying.* “papy... it’s me… remember? it’s your brother. don’t you recognize me?” *He took a careful step forward, every movement, every word, he prepared for the worst.*  
“i’m... i’m the one who looked after you since you were just a baby bones. remember? you mean so much to me… i know we don’t have the best relationship but...” *Sans somehow got close enough to where he could slowly offer his arm.* “i love you… i love you so much, i love you more than life itself. please. you got to remember. i know it hurts. it hurts me too. but nothing hurts more than seeing you like this. please...” *Sans was whispering now, he carefully and tenderly stroked the gaster blasters lower mandible. he felt a strong wave of nostalgia as he wiped the tears away.*  
“let’s go home…” *Sans closed his eyes and got down on his knees, completely submitting himself to the creature.* “...master..:”

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** Pain. That was the only thing it felt. It hurt so much. It wanted to escape. It needed to escape. Escape the pain. Escape. ESCAPE! The blue-white thing was gone. It just needed to get out the door. But something new was blocking the way. Something small, much smaller than the blue and white thing. What did the small thing want? Was it going to make it hurt more? Was it going to trap it and lock it up? But it needed to escape! The bone dragon growled before beginning to charge up another attack, but about halfway through, it heard something. The small thing was... talking to it? What was it saying? The beast slowed its attack's charge, trying to make out words through the fog of pain. Through the fog, three words stood out from all the others. 'i love you.'   
He stopped his charge, and the magic building in his muzzle dissipated. That black ichor continued to drain out of his maw, but at a slower rate. His tears, on the other hand, flowed three times over. The tormented skeleton let his skull rest on the floor, just in front of the small thing. No. In front of his brother. The glow now present in the skeleton's sockets were trained on Sans, and Papyrus nudged him gently with his nose. "SSSssSsSssssrrrRRRrrRRrrraaaAAaagghhHHHhhhhsSSssSsss" He couldn't form words the way he was now, but he remembered. Papyrus remembered his brother. And he was so, so sorry.

 **Swapfell!Muffet:** Muffet scoffed at the complete cowardice of the royal scientist. At least the guard captain had the courage to run headlong into danger to help the poor monster. Honestly, if one can't handle what they create, they shouldn't be creating. With a snap of three hands, Muffet captured Undyne's soul in purple, not unlike she had with Papyrus those two month ago. This was a precaution, if nothing else. "Ahuhuhu~ It seems your little experiment or whatever you call this has failed, dearie." Her five eyes shifted to Missy, her beloved pet. "Missy dear, I think this one might be a bit too free. Be a good girl and help me tie this one up~" Sure enough, by the time Papyrus had stopped his assault, Missy had ensnared Undyne in web.

 **SF! Undyne:** -A disaster! A complete and utter and total disaster! She was just an innocent bystander and now what?! Her soul was at the mercy of some spineless bug! She nastily decided to herself that if she was gonna get out of this mess, she was going to perform WAY more experiments on Muffets stupid, nosy spider drones.- “*L-l-l-l-listen here Muff!” -She did her best to try to sound tough, but internally she was freaking out, and it showed- “*H---he came to me! Ok?! I didn’t do anything wrong! Just my civic duty as the royal scientist! He came to me and consented! I-i-if I had my hands free I could show you video footage! He never even told me to stop when I injected him with determination! He came to me! HE CAME TO MEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!” -Undyne struggled against her bonds, but was still terrified of what was in store for her.-

 **SF! Sans:** *He couldn’t believe it! He actually managed to get through to the creature. Now if he could just get his brother back. The Gaster Blaster dragon was clearly exhausted, and clearly wanted to get out of the lab. But until he could figure out how to get Papyrus back, they had to stay. The beast’s only aggressive movements now was nervous stirring around. Sans wrapped his arms around his brothers muzzle to pacify him and stroked him lovingly. Then he kissed the tip of his nose softly.* “shhh... shhh... it’s ok… it’s ok… it’s ok, papy… i’m here now… we’re going to go home and things are going to be just fine… just… come out papy. you don’t need to be scared anymore.”   
*He heard the sound of Undyne screaming in Muffet’s bondage. Sans couldn’t believe how helpful she was being, considering he was planning on murdering her not even a few hours ago. He was never good at keeping promises like that anyways. He continued petting the dragon like it was a little puppy and whispering encouraging praise to it. He would have tried a more scientific method of healing his brother, but he didn’t know the first thing about science.* “please brother… i need you. i miss you.”

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** "SSSsssSssAaaAAAHHhhhhnNNNnNNnsSSsssSSssss" The crying blaster beast kept saying his name, over and over. Sans. He was a safe place. Being comforted by his brother, Papyrus groaned softly against him. Guttural animal sounds aside, Papyrus was still the younger brother, the weaker one, the crybaby. He was always the one who needed more comforting of the two, especially in recent times.   
Papyrus nuzzled his brother, lightly so he didn't knock the small skeleton over. He was just so exhausted, he wanted to curl up and fall asleep in Sans's arms. But he was too big to do that. His poor older brother could barely hug his muzzle, let alone cuddle him. Papyrus needed to let go of this form. It had served its purpose, but it was the only thing left that was hurting him. The blasts had dispelled the excess determination in his system, and the only thing holding him together was the subtle fear of more injections. But his brother was here now. He was safe now. He could come out of this protective shell.   
"SsssSSSsaAAAaAHHhHhHNNNnnNnNSsSSssSSSsS!!" All at once his bones started breaking themselves. Some even shed dust as the younger brother writhed on the floor in pain. He howled, his tears falling faster and claws digging into the floor. That process went on for a few minutes before the breaks and the reformation stopped. Where once a bone dragon stood now laid a tall but sore skeleton. His clothes were in tatters, and ichor ran out of his mouth. He coughed some of it up, but immediately, his attention was on his brother. Papyrus, sore as he was, crawled close then let his head rest in Sans's lap. "SANS... S-SANS, I'M S-SORRY. I'M S-SO SORRY B-BRO--." His voice broke. 

**SF! Sans:** *In this world, it was kill or be killed. Love and mercy were privileges for the dead. That was just the way it was. Following those principles, Sans went from becoming a beggar on the street to the captain of the royal guard. ...But it seemed that today Sans learned that there were some exceptions to every rule. He watched in amazement at the incredible display before him. This terrifying and treacherous beast was crumbling before his eyes. At first, Sans was afraid Papyrus had grown unstable and was going to die. He thought he had died. For a while all he could see was a thick cloud of dust. Sans sat there for a moment, genuinely believing he lost the only thing he had in this world, but then a figure approached him.*  
“papyrus?” *He asked the dust. And sure enough, much to the blissful relief of the captain, he saw his brother again, crawling exhausted toward his open and welcoming arms. He cradled his head in his lap and held it close to his ribs, stroking his head lovingly. Just like so many, many years ago in cold winter days. Something happened to Sans on that boat. When he heard his brother’s apologies, they were enough. He knew he did wrong. He could scold him later. For now he just needed to be reassured as he wiped away his tears with a sympathetic and loving thumb.* “it’s ok papy... don’t cry… i’m here now… it’s going to be ok.”   
*Sans leaned in and softly kissed his brother's forehead, and pressed his hand over his ribcage, then whispered so no one else could hear.* “i love you brother… i’m keeping my promise. we’re going to see the surface again. remember? you were cleaning your blood off my gloves. you remember, right?”

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** There were so many things he wanted to apologize for. So many wrongs he’d committed that he wanted to right. Putting himself in danger, almost getting himself killed, trying to escape what could be considered a punishment, worrying Sans, almost killing him... The list seemed to stretch on forever. He felt like he couldn’t apologize enough. The safety and comfort of his brother, however, allowed Papyrus to calm himself from violent sobs and apologies to silent tremors. Sans was here now. It was going to be ok.   
Especially after what his brother said next. Despite his overwhelming pain and the near-crippling exhaustion the entire ordeal had left him with, the younger brother somehow found the strength to look up at Sans, disbelief shining in his tear-stained sockets. That disbelief turned into hope, and then relief. That was something he hadn’t mentioned to Sans since the reset. Those details were so specific. There was no doubt in his mind. Sans remembered. Sans remembered, and Papyrus couldn’t have been happier. “YOU...” He could barely form words at this point, his voice barely above a whisper. His magic was all but spent, his metaphorical throat felt scratchy from all the screaming and crying (and roaring). “YOU REMEMBER...” His tears, if he had any left to shed, would have fallen from happiness. He pressed his parietal against the chest piece of his brother’s battle body, much like how a cat would bump its head against things it likes. “OF COURSE I REMEMBER.” If he had enough strength, he would have wrapped his arms around Sans. But, he couldn't do much with how low his magic reserves were.

 **SF! Sans:** *He was exhausted. He felt so nauseous. And now that he finally got what he wanted, all the pain was coming back to him. He could feel the poison still coursing through his marrow. Sans was pretty sure the trauma to his body was going to make him very sick. Despite this, despite all the pain. Sans still prioritized his brother over everything else. He needed to bring Papyrus home, finish his first day as captain, and cook dinner. Papyrus could sleep in his bed tonight. No way would he get better on that moldy old mattress. When they were nice and safe and warm together, then Sans would scold him. He'd make his brother promise to never leave him again, he’d make him promise it again and again, every day. He wouldn't let him apologize, just promise. But first he needed to get him and his brother out of the lab… But he was just so drained of energy, and Papyrus felt so right in his arms, so warm and comfortable… Sans slumped over exhausted, his arms wrapped tight and protectively around his brother. Smiling despite how horrible he felt.*  
“sorry i... broke your foot last night… and for... hurting you... at the castle… when we get home… i want to make it up to you… o...k a y?” *Sans’s sockets closed and he lost consciousness.*

 **SF! Undyne:** -This was bull. She didn't do anything wrong. The captain's brother came to her and volunteered to be a guinea pig.- “*Why are you helping those incestuous freaks out anyways? Did you see what the tall whimpy one did to my lab?! It's not my fault his runty older brother is a huge jerk. I-I was only trying to help. If you-you-you wanna stick around, then you can help pay for the damages done here. Remember, I work for the queen. You just run a r-r-rinky hole in the wall cafe. I-I-I didn't even do anything wrong! So lemme go! I’m having a bad enough day a-a-as it is! At least get those sickos out of my lab!”

 **Swapfell!Muffet:** Muffet could only snicker at the futile struggling of her captive. The royal scientist certainly had energy, the spider wouldn't deny that. But resistance would do nothing for the poor fishy. Missy's webbing was particularly hard to wriggle out of. It was quite lovely, if Muffet said so herself. What better pet could a spider ask for? "I owe them a favor, and they owe me money. I couldn't just let them die with those debts hanging over our heads, now could I? Ahuhuhu~ Oh, Missy~ Be a dear and carry Undyne for me." The cupcake monster made a series of clicking sounds then meticulously placed Undyne on her back in such a way that the webbing between the fish and the pet would stick, preventing movement. Muffet took the lead and entered the lab, strolling up to Papyrus and his unconscious older brother. She heard the tall skeleton mumble something under his breath, which merited a chuckle from the spider. "My my, Papyrus. You seem to be just a little bit stuck. Would you like some help, dearie?"

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** Under normal circumstances, Sans's weight wouldn't have been a problem for the taller skeleton. Under normal circumstances, Papyrus could have easily picked up his brother and carried him a great distance without issue. These weren't normal circumstances, however. This was anything but normal. Papyrus was drained of almost all his magic, and he could barely lift a finger, let alone hold his brother when he fell unconscious. Papyrus was so weak, in fact, that his brother's weight had him collapse on the floor under the smaller skeleton. Try as he might, he couldn't lift the guard captain off of him. He could, however, whisper to his brother. "...I FORGIVE YOU... SANS... I'LL ALWAYS... FORGIVE YOU..."  
His attention was alerted by the sound of a laugh. Shifting his gaze up, he was faced with a spider monster looming over him. Muffet. What was she doing here? Papyrus could hear the struggling sounds of Undyne in the background, and after a moment of tired thought, it clicked. Muffet had helped Sans. The exhausted skeleton gave the spider a pleading look, desperately trying to stay conscious. "PLEASE, MUFFET... HELP..."

 **SF! Undyne:** -Oh man… It was weirder seeing it in real life. The way the brothers were. They were just… Waaayyy too close. And she was PISSED still. No matter how much money those damn skeletons owed the arachnid bitch, they owed her tenfold. Did she even know how hard it was the synthesize liquid determination? It wasn’t like humans just could be mail ordered! As furious as she was, she couldn't help but heckle the pair… ESPECIALLY her rouge lab rat.-  
“*Hahaha, you g-g-gonna help them for free? Why don't you let him play with your soul again? Hmm? A-a-and while he’s at it! He can pay for some of the determination he wasted by letting me get my hands on him and his brothers messed up souls! Now c’mon Muffet, seriously, let me go or I’m going to have to sick my killer robot on you and destroy your cafe.”

 **SF! Sans:** *He wasn’t really fully unconscious. He could hear what was going on, but movement or opening his eyes was impossible. As if he was experiencing sleep paralysis. The whole ordeal would have been much more frightening if Papyrus wasn’t so close. He could hear Muffet’s voice. As relieved as he was that she helped him, he still didn’t trust her. He didn't really trust anyone except Papyrus, but especially her. His hold on Papyrus was still tight and protective. He tried to focus on getting up, but a Sans was incredibly ill. It would probably be days before he was fully recovered.*

 **Swapfell!Muffet:** "Hush now." Muffet gave the lizard a side glance, her five eyes making for a potentially disturbing spectacle. She didn't have to explain herself to the likes of the royal scientist, and she wasn't afraid of that Napsta-whatever his name was. What was one robot to an army of spiders, anyway? She turned her gaze back to Papyrus without a word, that expression no longer present. She bent down, then picked up both skeletons in her six arms. Bone didn't weigh very much to her, anyway. "Come along. You two need to get back to Snowdin. Oh, and Missy, dear. You've been such a good girl. Why don't you have a little snack before we leave?" The cupcake spider eyed Undyne, several clicking noises escaping it.

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** Papyrus was, honestly, surprised that Muffet could lift both of them so easily. Then again, she did have six arms to work with. His brother lay on top of him, Muffet adjusting their positions so that his arms wrapped around Sans, completing their embrace. If he wasn't so exhausted, Papyrus would have protested a bit more. But neither Sans nor himself had the strength to fight back. They were completely at Muffet's mercy. It wasn't until he heard "Missy" start clicking that he spoke again. "WAIT... LET HER... GO. I... ASKED HER TO... DO THIS..."

 **SF! Undyne:** “*Y-y-y-you woul--d-d-dn’t d-d-dare!” -But Undyne wasn’t so sure. Didn't Muffet know the punishment for killing a royal servant was death?! Or was she as crazy as monsters claimed she was? Undyne looked at the disgusting muffin creature that now eyed her back hungrily with its hundreds of eyes, it's gaping maw salivating profusely.- “*I have c-c-c-cameras that are l-linked to the queen’s throne room! You would be found guilty of treason! K-k-kill me and you’re gonna kill yoursel--”   
-And then the lab rat spoke to defend her. Maybe the incestuous skeleton could talk some sense into the 8 limbed freak.- “*That’s what I’ve been trying to say! But no one ever listens to me! He never once said stop! Not once. Did you Papy? Even when you saw your brother suffering you never told me to stop. You said I could run experiments on you as long as I made you forget the last 2 years or something or another.”

 **SF! Sans:** *Sans heard everything… He hoped Papyrus had gone to Undyne to get his injuries treated… Something innocent that went wrong. Papyrus wanted to forget? After he made him promise to remember? But why? Sure, he had gotten mad. But he was just scared. But how much of what Undyne said was true? What if it all was true. Sans couldn't feel too sad… After all, that's what he secretly wanted.

 **Swapfell!Papyrus:** He was starting to see spots in his vision. His tired body longed for sleep, and Papyrus knew he could be pulled under any moment. He also knew that Undyne would have to be alive if they wanted to see the surface in a week or so, assuming the human was going to play nice this round. He couldn't let Undyne get killed before that though. Papyrus closed his sockets, so exhausted, but struggled to say a few more words before he drifted into unconsciousness. "I JUST... WANTED... TO... MAKE... THE PAIN... STOP... AND... TO STOP... HURTING MY... BR O TH E R..."

 **Swapfell!Muffet:** He wanted to forget the past two years? Now, Muffet would understand if he wanted to forget their one night stand from two months ago, but everything? The poor thing must have been really desperate if he wanted to forget so much. The spider looked down at the unconscious bundle of bones she carried. So sweet. Too bad she was still under contract. She knew of a fire elemental who would love to get his hands on these bones, and would probably buy these two off her for a good amount of coin. But a contract was a contract, and she was obliged to help them until they were both safe. She sighed, then snapped her fingers. "Come along, Missy. You would probably get sick from eating her. Put her down." The cupcake made a noise similar to a whine, but let Undyne off of her back. She cut a small tear into the webbing around the fish, making for an easier time to escape but would still be rather difficult and would easily take longer than the trip back to the riverperson's dock. Missy then followed her master out of the lab, scuttling beside her as they neared the docks.

 **SF! Undyne:** -And just like that, they left her. They left her in her destroyed lab. She couldn't believe it. One second she was on cloud nine. She thought she was really onto something, that she found a monster soul that wouldn't amalgamate with determination. The next second she’s flopping and flailing her way out of a net of spider webbing like a mackerel. She struggled against the netting longer than she would have… If Mewwy was still alive she’d… They had been long gone by the time she escaped. For a while she just sat in the wreck of her lab, wondering what went wrong, wondering why Papyrus had responded the way he did to the determination. Wondering what she would do next. Her thoughts mostly rested on Muffet. Who humiliated her after losing her lab. Surely the Queen had the authority to indebt Muffet and have her give Undyne an... Appropriate... cut of her businesses profits until the repairs (and extra costs) were made...-

 **SF! Sans:** *It was the nausea and the gentle rocking of the riverboat that brought sans back to consciousness. The first sensation he felt was a pain that stabbed him from his head to his toes. His vision was blurry and he felt dizzy and lightheaded. But despite his blurred vision he could recognize the pale bones of his brother, and the multi limbed forms of Muffet and Missy. His mind quickly filled with questions, but his jaw was still burning from his magic being tampered with.* “where… nngh... you taking us?”

 **Swapfell!Muffet:** She'd been humming a small tune to occupy her time. The ferry, while the fastest way to travel from Snowdin to Hotland, was still a little slow. But the Riverperson was nice enough, and the ride was gentle enough. They'd passed the Waterfall dock when a small, pained voice cut through the music. Muffet smiled down at the rousing captain, her notes fading.   
"First one to rise, are you? Well, I suppose it's fitting for the new captain." She grinned, and Missy gave a few clicks for her own input. "I considered leaving you on the dock, but then I wouldn't get my payment, would I? Ahuhuhu. Then I decided on the Inn. The keep owes a favor from me anyway." She paused, her smile widening slyly. "...Unless you wanted me to break into your house? Ahuhuhu~"

 **SF! Sans:** *His head felt heavy, like his skull was slowly being crushed by some unseeable force. He was ready to pass out again. But he still wasn’t 100 percent sure what was going on. It hurt even to move his sight. Glancing from Muffet to Papyrus... His brother looked horrible. If he didn’t know better he could have fallen. His mind flashed back to the horrible terrifying beast that was destroying Undyne’s lab. What did she do to him? Would it happen again? He couldn’t help but blame himself for all this. But at the same time, why would Papyrus trust Undyne? Did he really give her permission to experiment on him? Why? He couldn’t get questions answered from a passed out monster, so he decided to get answers from other sources.*   
“no… no inn… j--just take us home. what happened in there? and why are you helping us? you told me you weren’t going to charge me. so what’s in it for you?”

 **Swapfell!Muffet:** The spider monster raised an eyebrow. She was surprised the other trusted her enough to leave them in their house. Then again, the small captain seemed a little out of it. Muffet chuckled, Missy giving a few soft clicks behind her. "I never said I wasn't going to charge you, Sans. I still want my money." She smirked, "And it's because of that, that I'm doing this. Remember, you contracted me to help save your brother. You and I both know he wouldn't be safe until he got as far away from that lizard as possible. And let's be honest here, Sans. Without me, both of you would be lab experiments by now." Muffet shrugged her top set of shoulders. "It's business, Sans. I wouldn't get my pay if I left you there. Nothing more than that."

 **SF! Sans:** *The spider had a point on many different levels. While he wasn't sure he would have turned into a lab experiment, he most likely would not have been able to end Papyrus’s rampage as soon as he had. He wondered what would have happened if he hadn't been there. Would he have killed Undyne? Destroyed half of Hotland? It was irrelevant now, but Sans couldn't help but linger on it momentarily, until the boat stopped. Finally, Snowdin… So close to home. Sans tried to stand up on his own. If there was anything he hated, it was being carried like a baby bones. But his legs felt like they were made out of jelly. Even staying awake was a huge effort. So he used what little energy he had to talk.* “when he told you… he was in love... did he say anything specific?”

 **Swapfell!Muffet:** Muffet had a remarkable memory. It was a great skill for this world, and her profession. She could remember every story told to her by her patrons, drunken and sober alike, and the faces associated with them. It proved quite useful in a multitude of situations. This situation was no exception. It would be quite the boring conversation if she couldn't remember every detail.   
She held back a shiver when they were met with the chill of Snowdin. The spider monster much preferred Hotland's warmth. Missy's disdainful clicks echoed that dislike of the cold. Muffet stepped off the ferry with two skeletons in her arms and Missy in tow. She stayed vigilant as she walked through the streets. One had to stay on guard in this world. "Well, I don't know how much you know about his little... episodes," Yes, that was probably the best word to describe them. No one word could really justify those times where he'd break down, but that one was close. "That night was particularly bad. He begged me to give him something to take the pain away. I gave his usual bottle of honey mustard and let him stay after hours. He wanted to talk in private, and I respected that." She paused, giving Sans a moment to let the situation sink in. They were about halfway to the skeleton brothers' house. "He opened up pretty quickly. Poured his soul out about unrequited love. He was so sure that his crush, he wouldn't tell me who, would despise him if he confessed. He asked me for some help, and, well..." The spider smirked. "I assume you know the rest of the story."

 **SF! Sans:** *Even through the pale of his illness, he could feel his skull flush with many different emotions as Muffet told the story. Episodes? He had no idea what she was talking about. Sure, Papyrus acted strange frequently, and he could be… Uncharacteristically reclusive at times, but never anything that he could call an emotional episode. But after recent events, Sans was getting a better idea of this hidden side of his brother.   
Miserable in Muffet’s arms (just a bit further until they were home! But not close enough.) he looked at his unconscious brother. His clothes were tattered, his expression somewhat pained. He studied his brother closely as Muffet recalled those events leading up to her violating Papyrus. It made him sick… Actually sick. Once she finished telling the story, Sans responded by vomiting. The bile stung his throat, but the little skeleton couldn't help but feel a small glow of satisfaction getting back at the spider bitch.   
Finally they were home. And Sans used the last of his strength to put on a show that he was plenty recovered enough, and her assistance was no longer needed.* “We... can discuss payment tomorrow, you have my phone number.”   
*And with that, he unlocked the door, grabbed his brother and dragged him inside where they would finally be alone. All Sans could do was slam the front door behind him and in Muffet’s face, and crumble to the floor, holding Papyrus close. Too ill and exhausted to cry.*

 **Swapfell!Muffet:** Muffet stood on the porch of the skeleton brothers' house. She had that ungrateful little captain's bile all over the front of her shirt. This was one of her favorites, too. She pouted at the soiled cloth. Missy clicked with concern. "It's alright, Missy dear. It'll just add to his brother's debt." In truth, Papyrus only owed the spider one thousand G. She'd only added the extra zero to see just how desperate Sans was to find his brother. She'd heard through the web that the new captain had abandoned his brother earlier that morning, after all. Still, the look of pure shock on his face had been priceless. Smiling at the memory, Muffet turned and left.


End file.
